20. Raegan
Chapter twenty
Raegan
Aiden opens the door after a few short knocks, and Cassandra bursts inside with her hands thrown up. “Where is she?” Her red curls bounce as she swivels her head to seek me out. It doesn’t take her long to find me seated in one of the sofa chairs next to the bed, and her nose sprinkled with freckles twitches as she takes me in.
Her eyes switch between the guys, who are all positioned throughout the room, and she frowns. “Why is she the only one injured? Why is she always the one who gets hurt?”
Is she…angry for me? Or complaining about needing to heal me again instead of getting to touch one of the guys?
“It’s not a big deal. I told Aiden he didn’t need to call you,” I respond defensively.
She strides over to me and perches herself on the arm of the chair—which is a bit closer than I would have liked—before she presses a palm against my chest. Cassandra shakes her head. “You’ve been awake a week and this is now the second time I’m healing you. Is trouble drawn to you, or do you seek it out?”
Before I can answer, she pins Aiden beneath a stare. “There are four strong and fully capable men around you who shouldn’t let you get hurt anymore. We all know you’ve been through enough.”
Oh.
Since when does she care about how hurt I am? But I don’t care for her attacking the guys, either. The attack at Old Red and the fight with Vera are both my fault, not theirs. If I hadn’t pushed Aiden to go back for Portia’s hair clip or gone off on my own in the library, neither would have happened.
“Don’t blame them for my actions. I’m responsible for them.”
Warmth fills my chest from her hand. Her eyes glow, appearing sightless as she searches for every wound to heal. Cassandra makes a clucking sound.
“We ordered a doctor, not a lecture,” Dane snipes from the loveseat sofa in the middle of the room.
Kellan chuckles and adds, “If you think it’s so easy to keep my girl from getting into trouble, you’re welcome to join us tomorrow to see for yourself.”
“Don’t jinx us!” Dane snaps at him. “And stop calling her that. It’s like you’re pissing on her to make a point.”
Kell’s grin widens. “And what if I am? She doesn’t mind me calling her that. Do you, beautiful?”
Nope. “Don’t drag me into that.”
Cassandra smiles, even as her eyes stay simultaneously focused and far away. The warmth has spread throughout my body, easing the ache and pain from the various shallow cuts. Before long, she retracts her hand, and her eyes return to their green-gold color. “I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but your body will need rest from the healing. If you’re planning on joining the mission tomorrow, then I recommend staying in this room to rest for the remainder of today.”
“Thank you, Cassandra,” Aiden speaks up.
“Of course,” she says with a nod. “I’ll be around today and tomorrow if you need anything else. But try not to need anything else,” she adds with a soft laugh while standing.
“Thank you,” I say earnestly. “For this and for healing me when they got me back.”
Cassandra’s smile falls a little. “I’m sorry I couldn’t heal everything. They told you about your knee?”
“I already knew.”
She gives a curt nod. “Well, I should get going. Call me if you need anything.” Cassandra waves to the rest of the room as Aiden escorts her to the door and closes it behind her.
“I thought she hated me,” I muse aloud. She healed me after Old Red, but she had been in such a rush that we didn’t get a chance to talk. And, well, I had assumed she still didn’t like me, so I hadn’t tried to start up a conversation.
Before the last island, we’d put up with one another, but she had seemed to resent me being around Aiden and the guys.
Kellan laughs and plops himself down on the bed across from me. “She respects you as do a lot of others here at the Guild. I wouldn’t go wandering around alone unless you’re ready to meet everyone.”
“What? Why? I don’t know anyone at the Guild other than her and Cibrina. Why would they know about me?”
Aiden sighs and moves closer to us. “Things happened behind the scenes here while you were gone. Aside from Jack, I had a few Guild members helping search for you. Now that you’re here, some of them have been waiting to meet you.” He sees a look on my face—horror? Fear? Confusion?—and continues, “Don’t worry about that now. Like Kellan said. Don’t go wandering around yet, or make sure one of us is with you.”
Right.
“Get some rest. Kell and I will be working on preparations for the first island tomorrow. Jack should be back from spying on Thorne by midnight tonight.” Aiden waves Kell after him, but he stops to kiss me. It’s not a quick kiss either, his body pressing me back into the sofa chair while he kisses me long and deep. “Kellan!” Aiden commands sharply.
Kellan grins into my lips, leaning back and shooting me a wink before he strolls after Aiden out of the room.
What the hell is he up to?
My fingers brush against my swollen lips. I’d be embarrassed if I wasn’t so confused by what his intention is. Aiden doesn’t trust or like me. Dane has only recently come to terms with us trying to be friends again. And Jack wasn’t here to try and instigate him.
“Hey,” Dane calls from the loveseat. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Sure.” That counts as resting, right? I don’t feel the need to take a nap from the healing, so I’m not sure what else to do while I’m restricted to this room. I am not up for meeting all of the Guild yet, so I won’t argue with having to stay here another day.
I make my way behind the sofa. The chairs are both positioned on either side of the bed, leaving only this double-seated sofa in the living area section of the room across from the television. Should I drag one of the chairs back over?
“Rae.” Dane’s expression has shifted from relaxed to serious since I walked over. “About Vera…”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t hurt her,” I jump in before he can ask.
He winces and shakes his head. “That’s what I was afraid of. Look.” Dane’s face turns upward until his eyes meet mine. “What I asked from you before was selfish. I didn’t trust you then, but I do now. So, I take it all back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, the promise you made about not hurting Vera.”
“You want me to hurt her now?” I ask, confused.
“No, of course not.” He scrubs his hand back and forth through the hair on top of his head. “I don’t want you getting hurt, either. So, if she’s attacking you…fight back. Just…try not to kill her?” Dane drags his hand down his face. “Shit, is that still asking too much? I don’t want either of you to get hurt, but I know I can’t have both right now while she’s with them.”
He’s looking more stressed the longer he tries to explain himself. I take a seat next to him and touch his knee to stop him. “Okay. I get it.” I told them about the attack by Vera and her wanting information on the Guild. But I didn’t explain that I’d asked her how to save her. Or that she chose not to kill me. She could have. There was plenty of time for her to finish the job before Aiden got there, but she didn’t.
Why?
That’s all I’ve been asking myself since then. I don’t want to give Dane false hope if it doesn’t mean what I hope it does. That maybe I got through to her, even just a little bit, and she’s now second-guessing her options.
I didn’t get an answer from her on what role Royce plays in all this, but I’m not giving up. If she left me alive, then there must be a reason.
His hand closes over mine. “Rae, I’m sorry—”
“It’s okay,” I interrupt. “Let’s just chill and watch a movie, okay?”
His face pinches, then relaxes, and he nods. “Alright.”
He grabs a blanket from the air mattress and brings it to the couch, settling it over both of us before he turns on a romantic comedy. It’s sweet and simple, which makes it an easy distraction long enough for my eyelids to grow heavy.
I shift to find a more comfortable position if I do fall asleep, and Dane lifts his arm when he notices. “Here.”
I have a few seconds of hesitation, staring at his side and then his face. He doesn’t seem annoyed or put out by his offer. He looks…like Dane. Like I’d remembered him on the island. Giving in, I settle into his side, and his arm and the blanket cocoon me.
The change in position gives me a new burst of energy, so I focus on the screen again and try not to think about the solid warmth from his body. Or the way he didn’t shy away from holding me against him. There’s nothing hesitant about his touch as there had been a few months ago.
His thumb grazes over my skin, brushing against the exposed area where my shirt has ridden up above my pants. I fight back a shiver at the light touch and try to keep my attention on the movie.
Eventually, sleep beckons me again, and my eyes close. The sound of the movie is like white noise in the background as Dane’s touch continues to lull me to sleep. We haven’t done this in years, and yet the second his arm wrapped around me, it felt like coming home.
Safe.
Warm.
Cared for.
A loud noise in the movie startles me from deep sleep, but fingers stroke continuously over my scalp and keep me from waking completely. My eyes stay closed, and I shift my head against what feels like a pillow before I sink into slumber under words softly spoken above me.
“Shh…go back to sleep. You’re safe. I’m here.”