CHAPTER TEN
– CEDAR –
A nagging feeling is filling up my gut.
I should have responded differently when Ray mentioned the connection between me and Rosy.
Dammit, I only have myself to blame for this fuck-up.
Both by giving Rosy the attention she draws out of me in front of others, and letting my mouth get ahead of my mind.
The deal she put on the table, which I countered with a few added limits myself, might have been the perfect relationship for us.
Yet, it is a relationship.
Work and fuck, not love or getting attached.
I rub a hand over the back of my neck.
Screw love, it’s way too soon for that.
Even if I had a crush on her when we were teenagers.
Hell, she’s the one woman who ticks off all the boxes if I’d wanted a woman long-term.
Also, something I’ve never wanted; exactly like Ray mentioned.
Then why the hell do I feel like shit after I downplayed the chemistry between me and Rosy?
Fuck. This shit is confusing.
I release a deep sigh and head for the stables to check on Rosy.
Her reaction after my statement to Ray was one I recognized instantly; hurt.
I glance around the stable and don’t see her, so I make sure to check every stall in case she’s with one of the horses.
Freckles’ stall is empty and when I check the tack room I realize Rosy took her for a ride.
My mood turns sour, and I decide to get some work done.
Nothing else left to do because it will be at least an hour until Rosy returns.
I know she has a riding lesson scheduled with a girl who brings her own horse.
It’s why I bring the other horses to the pasture and start to muck the outdoor arena before the stalls.
Rosy isn’t back when I’m done and I’m starting to get pissed.
Okay, more worried, but angry as well.
Remembering a discussion we had yesterday, about how long it’s been since they oiled the saddles, I start this task and am on the second saddle when I hear hooves.
I stalk outside and watch her tight ass dismount and the sight of her makes my cock twitch behind the zipper.
A deep sigh rips from me.
The woman threw me the ultimate curveball of life and makes me want things I never craved.
Though, calling it quits is something I’ll never do.
Not when the sex, working on this ranch, and being in her presence on a daily basis lightens my fucking mood.
Unless I put my foot in my mouth and feel like shit for hours.
I want to make this right and it’s why I try to shove my anger and frustration down in an effort to talk to her.
It’s definitely better than yelling to call her out on the fact that she definitely ran off instead of talking to me.
It’s not hard to guess she was just as thrown about what was said in the kitchen as I was.
“Rosy,” I rumble and step out of the stable.
“We need to talk.”
A vehicle heads straight for us with a trailer behind it.
Fuck. Her next riding lesson arrived.
“Yeah, sure,” she easily states and hands me Freckles’ reins.
“Can you take care of Freckles for me? Jodi’s riding lesson is about to start, and we already pushed it back half an hour because she was running late. I also need to meet with Daphne later tonight. We’ll talk after I get back or if I’m late, we’ll chat tomorrow morning, okay?”
Jodi jumps out of the vehicle and her voice is cheerful when she throws out a greeting and a wave.
Rosy is already walking off to help her unload the damn horse while I’m standing here with Freckles.
I guess I was put in my place by her handing off Freckles.
Seems Rosy used the ride to sort out her thoughts ’cause she’s acting like there’s nothing fucking wrong between us.
Am I the one making a big deal out of my own fuck-up?
Shit. This is exactly why I don’t do relationships.
Feelings always sour a mood and a lot of it is misunderstood shit between two people.
I like to keep things as simple as possible.
It’s why I enjoy the hard work on the ranch and taking care of the horses, getting to ride and train them is a grateful trade and gives me purpose.
Here I thought adding sex was a nice addition.
I mean, fucking is great and one warm hole is just as good as the next, but when it comes to Rosy?
It’s intimate, primal, a sense of righteousness when I’m inside her…
as if everything aligns.
Again, I’m frustrated and head back into the stables to the tack room and finish my job.
A few hours later I find no trace of Rosy.
I know she mentioned the meeting she had planned with Daphne, which means I have more time to kill.
Straddling my bike, I decide to pay my father and Anne a visit.
It’s a mere few minutes to their place and they stroll right out of the house with a plate full of things when I hit the kickstand to park my bike.
“We were just about to have some coffee on the porch. Would you like some? A cookie maybe?” Anne asks.
I instantly bob my head.
“I’ll never turn down homemade cookies, especially if you’re the one offering.”
My father pulls her close and gives Anne a kiss on the top of her head.
It’s refreshing to see my father dote on a woman.
Especially one who babysat me as a kid.
Though, I like the smile on the old man, and the one Anne gives him in return.
A deep sigh rips from me when I settle my ass in a chair on the porch.
Looking straight ahead, I get a nice view of the small pasture with Arabian horses grazing.
Next to the pasture are two very large ones owned by Rosy.
The land she owns is double the size of my father’s while he has more horses.
It’s been an everlasting discussion between the owners about buying some land.
The Lavern ranch has too much for the horses and the business they run, while the Stellan ranch could use an extra pasture to accommodate the horses.
Yet, my father is retiring, and I’ve glanced through the books and checked out all the horses.
In my opinion it would be nice to have a larger pasture, but it’s not necessary with the new goals I have in mind.
Goals I haven’t shared with my father but will soon enough.
He has too many young horses, ready to break in and sell.
It’s what I will be doing, and it will give more space for the mares and three stallions we will keep.
My father doesn’t like to share the bloodlines and rather would keep the offspring instead of selling.
“Have you asked Rosy about the pasture?” my father asks.
I reach for a cookie and just before I shove it into my mouth I grumble, “No.”
“You really should. It would benefit both if we could finally agree on a trade.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“It’s been days since you started helping the woman. I know it’s a kind gesture, but you don’t have to keep going on for weeks before laying out the offer I also made to her father.”
“Can we not discuss this tonight?” I mutter with a tired voice.
My father shrugs. “Fine, as long as you ask her soon enough.”
I shoot him a glare and Anne quickly covers my father’s hand.
“Let’s simply enjoy the mild evening breeze along with the coffee and cookies, okay?”
“Damn fine cookies,” my father grunts.
“Couldn’t agree more.” I reach for another one and put my feet up as I stare into the distance.
I wonder what time Rosy will be back from Daphne’s.
Hopefully we can discuss the issue before my head hits the pillow.
I hate leaving things unsaid.
Besides, my body is already craving hers.
Maybe we could combine talking and fucking, or one after the other.
At least she didn’t seem hurt or pissed when she came back from her ride.
Maybe I’m making this a bigger issue than it is, who the fuck knows?
Relaxing on my father’s porch is nice.
Well, if we’re not discussing the Lavern property.
I stay for another hour before I return home.
There’s no sign of Rosy, even when I stay up for another three hours.
Eventually I go to bed, only to wake up and see Rosy already at work in the outdoor arena with a client.
It’s as if she’s avoiding me, or it’s a weird coincidence.
Starting my day with the chores, I’m sure there’s a moment later today where we find ourselves alone.
Otherwise, I’ll just make time to drag her off into a room and demand her fucking attention.