Prologue #8
“Range, the last six months with you have been the best six months of my life. I wake up a happier man knowing I have you in my corner. I go to sleep feeling like a king knowing you’re near.
I long for the moment I hear your voice over the phone or read your words through text.
I am in love with you and I am falling deeper every day.
Life is greater with you in my line of vision.
“I can think clearer. Love better. Listen more. And, learn something new with every encounter. I guess I’m saying all of that to say that I want to be your husband. I want to be your everything. If you’ll have me. So, Range, will you be my wife?”
I sighed after reciting every word of his speech. His pathetic speech. It was insulting.
“You asked for my hand in marriage, yet every word that spilled from your mouth was about you. How much I bring to your life. How great your life has been since I entered. How much happier you are. How I make you feel like a king. Have you once, Kason, stopped to ask yourself how you’ve changed my life?
If you’ve changed my life? If I’m happier? If I feel like a queen?”
Dryly, I chuckled before inhaling deeply.
“But, that’s my fault. I haven’t told you– Because, I didn’t want to complicate an uncomplicated situation.
But, since we’re here, love. I must confess that besides your kindness and your erection, I’ve felt nothing more of you but your absence.
More of my calls are returned than answered.
You’ve rescheduled more dates than we’ve been on.
The very first sign of a husband, in my eyes, is consideration. ”
“You’re a generous man but you’re not a considerate man. Even your generosity can’t mask your selfishness. And, that’s not a critique of your character. It’s a notable flaw in our relationship. I’m almost as lonely as I was before you walked into my life. I’m not certain of your presence, Kason.
“It’s your absence that I’ve grown most comfortable with. That makes you predictable. And, strangely, it makes you safe. Because, I know that I can’t lose myself in you. In us. As much as it pains me, it protects me.”
“Range. I didn’t know,” he admitted, reaching over into the passenger seat to grab my left hand. “I didn’t know.”
“Your selfishness wouldn’t allow you to figure it out. You’re blind, Kason. But, your blindness is my shield. It keeps me guarded. That’s reality. My reality. Yours and mine are not the same.”
“That’s fixable. That’s fix–”
“I’m no mechanic, Kason. At my age, I’m not interested in fixing a man.
That was your mother’s job, to raise you, not mine.
You should’ve come to me prepared. You should’ve come to me ready for the relationship you requested.
You should’ve come to me equipped. You should’ve come to me selfless. You should’ve come to me fixed.”
A sarcastic snigger fell from my lips.
“It’s insulting, assuming I’d even attempt fixing what I didn’t break to begin with.”
“Me, Range. I’ll do the fixing.”
“While I– what– what?”
I turned to face him, genuinely wanting to know his answer.
“Only for a little while. You’ve brought so much to the light tonight. I just wish I’d known sooner. I would’ve made things better. For you. For us.”
“Don’t be a better man for me, Kason. Be a better man for yourself. Be a better man because that is who you’re supposed to be.”
“Eight weeks.”
“Eight weeks?”
“Yes. Can I have that much time? To show you… To give you my undivided attention. To adapt to your desires. To pacify your yearnings. To become the yearner you need. You want. Range, I’m begging.”
“You’re not, Kason, because you’d be on your knees in front of me, hands together as if you’re praying to the Lord.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Is that what you want?” I tossed back.
The tires came to a screeching halt. Kason’s long limbs were out of the car and pulling on the handle of my door in a flash. With his help, I stepped out of the coupe, balancing my heels on the cement, sure not to get stuck in the cracks on the concrete.
With my head tilted slightly to the left, I observed Kason’s frame lower to the ground. This time, there wasn’t a ring in his hand. His palms were pressed against each other as he looked up at me with his big, brown handsome eyes.
My heart swelled with anticipation. My tongue pressed against the bottom of my top teeth.
“Eight weeks– Can I have eight weeks of your time to prove to you that I am the man you can trust with your time, heart, and future? I will not disappoint you, love. Eight weeks.”
I palmed his head, imagining it between my legs. As his lips moved, I imagined them against my vulva.
“Keep the ring. Keep it on your hand. It’s too beautiful for you to return. It’s too beautiful for me to fuck this up and you give it back. It’s perfect, and so are you. I am the problem and one that I intend to fix immediately.”
Wheels turned all around us, slowly passing us by while attempting to mind the business that paid them. The sounds of the freeway mere feet away from us were liberating.
“Range–”
“Yes, Kason?”
“Eight weeks, baby.”
“We could pretend tonight didn’t happen and spend the upcoming weeks in the same blissful oblivion we’ve been in–”
“That’s not what I want. I want you. More of you. All of you. And, I want you to have me. To love me. To accept me. To stay by my side. Not with limited romance, but with untamable romance, unconditional love, and unfiltered happiness.”
Love is always conditional, I corrected internally.
I pulled in a deep breath. Kason looked up at me with curious orbs.
I like you on your knees.
“Eight weeks,” finally, I agreed.
“And anything else you want?”
“I can think of one thing,” I confessed.
“What is it?”
“Your tongue against my clit.”
A smile peeled his lips backward.
“I like the sound of that.”
“I like the feeling of that.” I chuckled.
Kason stood on his feet and pulled me into his chest. With his arms around me, he pulled my tongue into his mouth. My nipples hardened against the jacket of his suit.
“Eight weeks,” he reminded me, loosening his grip.
“Um hm.”
I swiped my lipstick from his mouth as I nodded.
“Eight weeks.”
Roaman was alluring. Her quiet, commanding presence was incredibly entrancing. Even when she wasn’t talking, I was listening, prepared to digest her wisdom. She had so much of it. Age had little to do with her knowledge; experience and a highly studious nature had led her to the woman she was.
“Good morning, babes,” I greeted her, expanding to accommodate her.
“Morning,” she returned, arms surrounding me.
Our embrace was swift, leaving me breathless. She smelled like a dream. A sweet, clean dream. Her fragrance was as refreshing as her presence.
“What are you wearing?”
“Something new, actually.”
“Huffington Fragrance House?”
She nodded. “I’m working my way through the new Discovery Palette, courtesy of Rugger.”
“I guess that’s what I get for not opening my package, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” She chuckled, handing me the cup of tea she’d promised. “Lyric–”
“Hm?”
“The fragrance from the palette is Lyric.”
“She’s lovely.”
“And, so is the new piece of jewelry on your finger. Are we keeping secrets now?”
I tucked my lips into my mouth as I shook my head.
“Um mm.”
“Then spill. You’re engaged?”
“No– not really– not quite.”
Silence toyed between my words.
“Range–”
I rolled my eyes, staring at the beautiful stone.
“Kason proposed, I guess.”
“That ring is nothing to guess about, wonder about… only a man with intentions to marry you will give you something even remotely close.”
The diamond was gorgeous. It was wrapped in smaller diamonds that were barely visible and a gold band that made it timeless.
“I thought you said you weren’t serious about him.”
“I’m not. Which makes this– I expressed that to him. He insisted I keep the ring and give him more time to prove he’s the man I need.”
“And–”
“I’m just not ready for the fun to end,” I admitted. “When I return this ring, it all stops and the silence gets the best of me again.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Square one, babe. But, that’s life. A step forward, ten backward.”
“Yeah, in most cases,” Roaman agreed, taking steps in the opposite direction.
Duty called for us both; having a seat at her favorite tea bar wasn’t in our plans, but seeing each other was. So, we decided to take our tea on the road.
“How long?”
“Eight weeks.”
“Not bad.”
“Not at all. Enough time to grieve if this doesn’t work out.”
“Maybe it will. Maybe he’ll take you by surprise. Maybe he’ll show up in ways you haven’t imagined.”
“I’m hopeful, but I’m not holding my breath. At the end of the day, Kason is a man. They aren’t very promising–as a species.”
“I can’t deny that.”
The Friday morning sun was bright, bringing about so many possibilities.
The heaviness in my chest was symbolic of change.
Something was on the horizon. Something good.
Something worthwhile. It wasn’t often I felt the overwhelming urge to smile or laugh or scream, but I’d been suppressing it all morning.
“Did you know–”
My ears tingled at the sound of the first three words out of Roaman’s mouth. She was generous enough to bless me with more from that complex brain of hers.
“That the sun makes up 99.86% of the solar system’s mass? That’s how incredibly large the ball of plasma is. And, it’s actually teal. Not yellow or orange or any of the colors we witness through Earth’s atmosphere.”
“Yeah?”
“Stars of its caliber have about ten billion years of fuel to burn before their life ends. The sun is halfway through its lifespan. Its core is denser than water. Much denser. And, its photosphere is hot, but its corona is the hottest, with degrees recorded in the millions.”
Nodding, I digested the information I’d been given.
“Wow.”
Suddenly, Roaman’s long legs halted.
“You are so much like the sun, Range.”
My brows crinkled as I tipped the cup of tea upward. I needed something to settle the dryness of my throat.