Prologue #10
Bzzzzt.
An extensive, burly frame was revealed as the steel door pulled toward the right. Dark skin covered every inch. Thick hair curled under, littering stocky arms and veiny hands.
I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. Oxygen was suppressed. I forgot that breathing was required for the extension of life as I scanned my way up the perfectly proportioned body.
A peculiar, alarmingly arousing feeling consumed me. My heart ached as if it had been broken and healed, simultaneously. The anchoring of my soul was apparent in the invisible rope that had been wrapped around my insides and pulled toward the godly creature whose face I had yet to see.
Josiah. I internalized.
Yoshiyahu.
God has healed.
Whom Jehovah heals.
Young leader.
Leader of a nation.
Cuffs surrounded his wrists, enraging me.
The initial reaction to the restraints was baffling and angering at once.
My troubled heart pushed an anguished breath from my lungs, giving me more time on Earth.
More time to rationalize everything happening within me.
Inside of me. Beneath me. In the center of me. Around me.
Help me, God. I pleaded, as I succumbed to my unearthing.
Though in denial, the birth of the woman I’d been anticipating was upon me. I wasn’t ready. Not here. Not now.
I savored my sanity, slowly continuing up his body until I reached my resting place.
My Lord.
Thick lips formed after a protruding chin, covered in coarse, black hair that was groomed with perfection. He hadn’t been here long. His barber’s work was still fresh. His line was still crisp. There wasn’t a sign of stress… or worry… or concern.
Beautiful, wide nostrils led to a perfectly symmetrical nose canal, leading to small, yet wide eyes. They possessed a calm that could lull a tsunami. Quiet a storm. Silence a tornado. Dissolve the voices–every one of them in my head.
My mouth slackened as words failed to form.
Demented, I tried collecting myself. Collecting my thoughts.
Collecting my memory. Collecting my strength.
Collecting my confidence. Collecting my vocabulary.
Collecting my things. Collecting my belongings.
Collecting my heart. It had left a hole in my chest.
Uncuff him! I screamed inwardly.
He was no animal. The cage he was being held in was inhuman. Cuffs were not necessary. He was no threat. Not to me.
Yes. Yes, he is. I reasoned.
He lessened the gap between us. I pulled in a deep breath. My nipples tingled as they pressed against the fabric of my bar.
While I fell apart, Josiah remained poised. Collected. Calm. Confident. Content. Cold. Calculated.
Bzzzzt.
The door sealed, locking us both inside the small conference room. A lone table sat between us. Josiah’s feet halted just a few inches shy of it.
He analyzed every detail of the space we were now confined in. His hesitation led to my elevation. I scrambled to my feet, pulling my skirt down in the process.
His observation ended with me. Lingering. All over me. A tilt of his head magnified his examination. I pushed the new lump of air down my throat, hoping it passed my chest and didn’t block the breath I was attempting to make. Josiah made it hard.
Difficult.
Complex.
Nearly impossible.
Focus, baby. Chem voiced.
Determined to regain control of the situation I was quickly losing the rights to, I cleared my throat. I smoothed my clothes down before extending my hand over the stainless steel table.
“Attorney Range Childers. I will be representing you in–”
“Shaking your hand will not bring me pleasure, Range.”
“Attorney Childers will work,” I insisted.
His bottom lip disappeared into his mouth as the right side of it lifted into a smirk, causing a small body of water to form in the seat of my panties.
“Have a seat, Range,” he demanded.
Brows furrowed and breath caught in my chest, I lowered my hand. On wobbly legs, I lowered my body into my chair. If I didn’t relieve them soon, I’d fall flat on my face. I allowed that to be my excuse for following the order of a complete, utterly unbelievable stranger.
One. One.
Two. Two.
I pressed my index finger against my thumb, needing to suppress the surge of emotions flowing through me.
Josiah’s feet moved in my direction. He was around the table in a flash, though moving agonizingly slow. With cuffed hands, he pushed the back of my seat forward. Comfort quickly found me. I crossed my legs, mentally preparing to encounter his goodness again.
I closed my eyes. I needed time. I needed a breather. I needed something.
Maybe air.
Maybe a room with a bed and without cuffs.
Maybe him out of the brown state-issued uniform.
Maybe him.
I squeezed my legs together as I opened my eyes. The heat from his body radiated, confirming his closeness. He sat across the table with his elbows on top of it and his hands stretched toward me, taking up much more space than necessary. Disregarding my personal space. He had no tolerance for it.
I ground my teeth against one another as I fumbled with the folder in front of me. Josiah’s presence had catapulted me into a new world. A new place.
A new solar system.
Roaman’s words clung to me like leeches on a far-away island.
“I– I– uh.”
A hand rested on top of mine, pressing it against the files I was flipping through while temporarily blinded. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t hear anything. I didn’t know anything.
But him.
I saw him.
I heard him.
I knew him.
I felt him.
I peered at his hand on top of mine. Every fiber of me wanted to flip mine over, embrace his palm and feel his pulse through his skin. My line of vision trailed up his arm, chest, face, and ended at his eyes. They stared at me, lovingly, coaxing me to a quieter place.
“You’re spiraling,” he cleared his throat, “Collect yourself. I can wait.”
Just as quickly as he’d invited me in, he ripped me to shreds. Josiah removed his hand from mine.
Come back. I whimpered, internally. Please.
My nostrils widened with emotions. Something was happening within me. Something was happening between us. Things were shifting. I was beginning my first orbit.
In his solar system.
As the sun.
His sun, I foolishly considered.
Silence followed his command of my collection.
Two minutes. Two whole minutes of quietness.
His patience was apparent. He was prepared, but it was my preparation he was in pursuit of. The consideration left me gutted, but in the best way. My eyes burned with tears.
“Uh um.” I cleared my throat, forcing them away. “I was appointed to represent you in uh– I–”
Still, I hadn’t figured out if I was coming or if I was going.
But, one thing was clear. I wanted to follow the handsome stranger before me.
I had no desire to lead. No desire to speak.
For once, I wanted to listen. To learn. To lean in as his baritone serenaded me.
To surrender as his consideration proved it was okay to.
“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in here,” he added, understanding my current faults were strictly due to his presence.
Without explanation, he understood my state and how his involvement altered it completely. Altered me completely.
“There’s a very important little girl in my life who I am responsible for picking up every Thursday after school to take her to gymnastics. I’ve missed one Thursday. I can’t miss too many more. That would pain me deeply.”
His revelation pained me deeply.
“A daughter?” I blurted, already prepared to find the deepest pit to disappear in.
Someone had claimed his legacy. Birthed his child. And, likely taken his last name.
“A niece.”
I released a shaky breath. With a nod, I picked up my ink pen and shoved the end toward the center. I made a note of his reasoning.
The why was always important to me. It let me know how hard they’d fight and how cooperative they’d be in the proceedings.
“Would you like to explain why you’re here and wh–”
“Her.”
“Who?”
“My niece.”
“Your niece?”
With scrunched features, I maneuvered in my seat, attempting to find comfort.
Silence.
Josiah didn’t respond. He refused to respond. Still, I made more notes in my files.
“Anything you need me to know before we tackle this case?”
Silence.
His eyes bore holes in my face.
My chest.
My heart.
Silence.
A finger lifted and twirled in the air. Baffled, I turned, as if I didn’t know the room we were in was empty. Only him and I sat between the walls.
Bzzzzzt.
The buzzing initiated the door’s movement. Josiah stood on his feet, eyes still trained on me. It became obvious what was happening. Our visit was ending and my heart was breaking.
It wasn’t his job to conclude meetings. It was mine. Still, he headed for the door. I stood on my feet, prepared to protest. However, the words wouldn’t emerge.
Silence.
As he neared the door’s threshold, he turned slowly. Eyes penetrating parts of me he shouldn’t have had access to.
“And, Ms. Childers.”
He placed emphasis on a name he didn’t want to refer to me as.
Range. I corrected. My name is Range.
“Yes, Mr. Blackwood?”
“Next time we meet, I expect you to have returned that ring, thanked that man for his time, and let him know he’s not whoever or whatever the fuck he thought he was to you. That cut and style of diamond does nothing to complement your hand. You deserve custom everything.”
My thoughts were caught in my head. My words were caught in my throat. My breath was caught in my chest.
Silence.
I watched him disappear behind the steel door as I processed his words, unsure if I truly understood them. Understood him. Understood what had just happened. Understood what would happen next.
The hand of the guard never touched the hem of his garment. Words were never exchanged. I watched as he exuded the power and arrogance of a godly man—a man I’d suck into oblivion on the holiest day of the week, every week.
Breathlessly, I gathered my things. I shoved my folder into my briefcase, anxious to be alone. Anxious to put the correctional facility behind me. Anxious to put him behind me.
He’s trouble. Big fucking trouble.
I rushed through the door, out of each door I’d come through to enter the room that held my deepest, darkest desires for the man who’d made a few minutes feel more like a lifetime than any other moment in my life.
Out of the door and into my car, I released the breath I’d been holding.
“FUCK,” I grunted.
My chest rose and fell dramatically. Shaky hands flipped the cell from the armrest upward. I pressed the first number on the pad and then the green button next. With the cell against my ear, I waited for my source of comfort to appear on the line.
My wait wasn’t long. The phone rang once before his voice attempted its revival tactics. They were useless.
“Speak.”
Silence.
I rubbed my temple, hoping to resolve the fuzziness in my head and the pain of my heart.
“Baby–”
“You have given me a mess I am incapable of cleaning,” I rushed out.
“B–”
I slammed the cell shut. On unsteady legs, I exited my car as I removed the SIM card from the phone. I placed it on the ground and stomped, breaking it in half.
I couldn’t bear the disappointment in Teddy’s voice. I couldn’t bear the heartache of his words.