Chapter 6 #2
While she was entirely naked and completely revealed to him, Ranger had only removed his shirt and boots.
Which she did find odd, but his talented mouth and fingers quickly distracted her from the question of why.
If it was the other way around, she might have questioned it as a desire of him not wanting to see all of her.
It wasn’t like either of them had been undressed during their first encounter.
But fucking hell—why did the sight of this shirtless man have to be so fucking hot? But the way his dark jeans hugged his hips and accentuated his Adonis belt… Pure yum.
Toni was only slightly out of her element.
She’d had lovers and boyfriends before, but none of them had ever touched her like she was the most erotic creature they’d ever had the honor of touching.
Ranger was intense and forceful—but in a good way.
Like he knew what he wanted and had full confidence that it would bring her pleasure.
And still he paused, checking in with her every step of the way to ensure that she was comfortable and wanting to continue.
It was fluid, and so fucking hot that Toni craved him even more.
The one thing that bothered her or struck her as odd was something she didn’t even realize until later when she was alone.
Maybe it was her. Rough, passionate sex wasn’t exactly something she experienced on a daily basis, let alone twice in the same night.
She was used to just lying there, not getting fucked up against a tow truck on the side of the road and then on the kitchen counter of a trailer.
Was it normal for men to not want to be touched?
When they first got into the trailer and Ranger had stripped her bare, he’d stepped back, eyes never leaving her naked body, and removed his shirt.
He got his boots off next. Toni had anticipated him going for his jeans, and in that moment, decided to take the initiative.
She stepped forward, hands outstretched to undo the button of his jeans.
She’d had the idea that maybe, just maybe, she might have the courage to go down on her knees before him.
He did it so smoothly that it didn’t occur to her until later, but he’d taken her outstretched hands and used them to pull her up against him, kissing her like she was the sweetest dessert he’d ever tasted.
He hadn’t let her touch him. Shoulders, neck, chest, hair…
She’d had her hands all over him there. But he hadn’t let her touch his pants.
Hell, he hadn’t even removed his pants.
Maybe she was overthinking it, her inexperience with a man like Ranger making her see things that weren’t there.
Afterwards, he’d held her close, even tucked her into bed, but he hadn’t stayed.
That certainly disappointed her, but she understood.
Her situation already pulled him from bed once tonight, and maybe he just wanted to get a few more hours of uninterrupted sleep.
It would have been nice, though. To be held by Ranger, to feel his arms around her and know that he had her.
Curling up into the strange pillow that was too soft for her personal preference, Toni let out a long sigh.
She was thinking too much into this. He wasn’t her boyfriend.
They’d had sex twice. Maybe he wasn’t the cuddling type.
She was definitely putting too much thought into this.
Besides, Ranger wasn’t her problem, and she really shouldn’t be getting involved with a man who hadn’t even blinked at her father’s dead body on her stairwell floor.
Toni winced into the pillow at the reminder. It had been too long and too weird of a night. She was both exhausted and wide awake, but somehow started to drift off to sleep just as the sun started to crest the horizon.
Maybe this was all just some fucked-up dream from drinking half a bottle of wine tonight. Maybe she would wake up back in her bathtub and none of this would be real.
* * *
A fucking curfew. Like he was a fucking child!
Ranger knew he had a curfew; it was part of his agreement when he moved back into Becks and Ghost’s house.
Unless he was at work or at a meeting, he was to be in the house by nine at night.
The structure hadn’t bothered him until he was balls-deep in one of the strongest, most courageous women he’d ever met.
Not to mention, drop-dead gorgeous and she seemed to like him too.
Given what had happened and the fact that Ghost had pulled him from his bed tonight, breaking his own curfew rule for his house, Ranger had sort of let the rule slip from his mind when he brought Toni back to the trailer.
All he wanted was to go to bed with her, to hold her as she cried or processed what had happened, the enormity of what she’d done, tonight. But instead, he’d gotten summoned back to his sister’s house like he was a child.
What fucking good was he that all he could offer her was a quick fuck and her purse back before skulking away?
The ride back through the club property was…
trying. Ranger felt jumpy, itchy. He also felt like a disappointment and a failure.
What was he doing getting involved with a woman like Toni?
He wasn’t what she needed right now. He couldn’t even stay the remainder of the night, or morning, with her because he had a fucking curfew.
In addition to the message he got from Ghost that said to get back to the house, Ranger also saw one on the group thread with all the members and ol’ ladies, letting them know that Toni was staying in one of the trailers.
He didn’t say why, and he wouldn’t, but it needed to be said that there was a stranger on the property.
Ranger pulled up to the house and cut the engine.
His head was spinning, the weight of his uselessness pressing down on his chest, a hollowness that needed to be filled.
Crossing his arms over his handlebars, he laid his head down on his forearms, his thumbs rubbing the inside crease of the opposite elbow.
He knew this feeling so well. Hated himself for it, hating even more that he couldn’t stop it.
Every cell in his body screamed that there was an absence in his life.
He needed, but it was like there were two parts of himself.
He knew it was wrong, knew the consequences if he followed through on that desire, but the other part, the part that was growing louder with each passing second, didn’t care.
There were no consequences, only pure bliss. To be filled, to be whole.
A hand touched his shoulder, startling Ranger. He jerked upward to meet Ghost’s worried gaze. It wasn’t late enough in the morning for the sun to illuminate him, but the outside light on the house cast just enough to make out his features.
Ranger didn’t realize how heavy his breathing was until he gasped out. “I’m not okay.”
Ghost nodded once and took a step back. “Off the bike, soldier.”
The sharp order pulled at something in his mind, an old habit too strong to resist. Ranger got off his hog, his legs and arms shaking.
“Did you take anything?” Ghost demanded.
Ranger shook his head. He wasn’t angered by the question. Given his current state, it was valid.
Ghost pulled off his cut and shirt, draping both over the seat of Ranger’s bike. “Then let’s go. You run ‘til you drop, soldier.”
Ghost’s boots hit the pavement as he turned and ran down the drive, making a sharp right turn onto the sidewalk.
When Angel had adopted Bree four years ago, Steel had commissioned a concrete pathway to be put in.
Originally, it was from the group of five houses the club dubbed the Pentagon to the clubhouse.
Then it increased in size to circle its way around the clubhouse, the pond in the back, and the garage.
When another cluster of houses, dubbed the Square, went up, it increased in size again.
Then Jumper, Jasmine, Sophia, and Pirate’s house got put in on the other side of the property, and the club wanted a nicer path than the dirt one that was there for the women and kids to walk on between the sections of housing, and soon the quarter mile circle became a labyrinth of pathways.
If certain turns were taken, it was easy to create almost a mile and a half path.
Ranger didn’t hesitate. He took off his cut and shirt, laying them next to Ghost’s on his bike, and chased after his president. This was not an easy jog. Ranger quickly overtook Ghost, his boots pounding heavily on the pavement as he ran from his problems.
Except there was no outrunning them. They would still be there today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. All he could do was run himself into exhaustion, and hope when he woke up, the craving would be manageable. It would never be gone, never leave him alone.
And if it didn’t work? Then he’d just keep running.
* * *
A knock roused Toni, making her moan and pull the blankets over her head.
Who the fuck would be at her door at this hour?
Blinking, Toni realized she didn’t know what hour it even was.
But then she realized that she actually didn’t care and snuggled further into the pillow.
Maybe if she just ignored the knocking, they would just go away.
“See, she’s asleep.”
Toni frowned at the whispered voice, which sounded distorted but close. Then there was a sharp tapping noise. Toni shifted under the blankets.
“See, she’s awake.” That was a different voice, still distorted but louder. Like the first voice was specifically trying to be quiet and the second didn’t give a flying fuck. The tapping got louder. “Get up, Toni! We brought coffee, donuts, and gossip!”