Chapter 9 #4
“Hey, do not underestimate the power of a sexy ass,” she quipped.
Approaching him, Toni said softer, “In all seriousness, I am beyond proud of you, Liam. After everything you overcame, you’re still standing.
” Toni pointed down to the ground, not entirely sure she was hitting the unmarked grave, but figured she was close enough to count.
“You’re doing a hell of a lot better than they are.
You are extraordinarily strong, and I never want you to think that I think less of you because of your addiction or trauma.
What you shared with me tonight took courage, Liam. ”
He reached up to run the back of his fingers down her cheek. “You’re incredible,” he whispered. “I expected you to run from me once you heard my story, and yet here you are.”
Toni reached up, bringing his callused hand to her mouth for a kiss. “Here we are. I take it, this is why you’ve been keeping your clothes on and why you won’t let me touch you during sex.”
He nodded stiffly. “I don’t know if oral sex is something I’ll ever be able to do with you, Toni. You need to know that going in.”
“Then we don’t. Personally, I’ve never been a big fan of blowjobs.
I got a bit self-conscious during college when a guy I was seeing told me I snorted like a pig.
” Her cheeks flushed. “It’s never been a favorite activity of mine in the bedroom, but I’ve done it because guys expect it.
So if we don’t, we don’t. It’s not a dealbreaker for me, Liam. ”
“First, don’t ever bring up anything you’ve done in the past with other men. Not unless you’re prepared to give me a list of names and start digging while I go hunt the fuckers down. Second, I appreciate you telling me that, but I also meant for you. I’m not sure I can go down on you.”
Toni’s cheeks flushed. “Oh! Well… I mean, I don’t… I’ve never… Fuck, how do I say this without making you go all neanderthal on my exes?”
“No one’s ever gone down on you before?” The astonishment in his voice made Toni shrug awkwardly in answer. “Fucking fools.” He let out a dry laugh. “Then again, look at me. I want to, but not sure I can.”
“It’s not a requirement, Liam,” Toni pressed. “Anything we do, we do because we both want it. Not because one thinks the other enjoys it even when they don’t. That’s not consent for me, and I want no part of it.”
He cupped her cheeks between his hands before bending down to kiss her. “Incredible,” he repeated. “How about we put a pin in it for now, and if it’s something we want to introduce into our sex life, we talk to my therapist about it first?”
Toni smiled up at him. “I love that idea. Are we ready to head back then?”
Ranger stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s more.”
Toni’s jaw dropped. “Holy fuck, man! And you couldn’t have told me all this near a bathroom?”
Ranger chuckled, eyes on the starry sky. “Nature’s bathroom is right here.”
Toni shook her head. “Uh huh. I am not peeing out in the middle of the woods with no toilet paper.”
“I’ll find you a leaf,” Ranger said with a far too nonchalant shrug. “You’ll need to get one of those she-wee things to take a piss when we go hiking anyway.”
Toni blinked at his back as he started searching the ground in earnest. “I’m sorry. A what-now for when we go hi-a-whating?”
“Hiking,” Ranger called back over his shoulder.
“You know, putting one foot in front of another out in the wilderness and the great outdoors. Can you believe kids actually have a name for going outside? Touching grass. Like they actually have to be reminded there’s a whole world beyond their computer screen! Fucking ridiculous.”
“Liam!” Toni snapped. “I don’t know if you haven’t noticed by having you basically carry me here, but I am not exactly a hiking sort of girl. I’ve never peed in the woods, and frankly, that’s not something that’s ever been on my bucket list of things to do.”
“Ha! Found one.” He grabbed something from the ground. “Remember to dab, not wipe. But it’s probably a good thing you’re pissing. We got to talking, and you never went after we had sex. Don’t want you to get a UTI.” He held out a fucking leaf to her.
“Yeah. Still not peeing in the woods,” she told him sternly.
Ranger shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He walked back over to where they’d been standing minutes ago. “I come out here all the time just to piss on their graves. It’s rather cathartic.”
Toni stared, mouth gaping open, as Ranger pulled down his fly in front of her and started peeing.
She was very certain no man had ever peed in front of her before, and yet Ranger did it so casually that it was over before she got past her shock of the moment.
He gave himself a little shake, and then tucked himself away.
Walking back over to her, he offered her the leaf again.
Grumbling, because she really did have to go, Toni swiped the fucking leaf from his hand. “Just… Go stand over there,” she waved at the trees. “And keep your back to me. I can’t go if you’re watching.”
“Didn’t peg you as the shy type, Antonia.” He bent and kissed her nose. “And after this, we are going to have to get back. It’s past your bedtime, and I’m currently breaking curfew.”
“Curfew?” Toni asked, but then regretted doing so. Now that she’d committed to peeing in the woods, she really had to go.
Ranger nodded, scrunching his nose like a petulant child. “Part of the rules Becks and Ghost set up when they allowed me to move back into their house. Now, go piss on some unmarked graves and we’ll discuss this more on our walk back.”