44. Riley
FORTY-FOUR
Tonight might bethe end of me and Gabriel.
I glare at my phone. He hung up on me. Told me we”re ”taking the jet” to Miami and then ended the call.
It was a window into the full display of his arrogance, and I”m not sure I like it. Or perhaps that”s just an excuse because I”m wary of his answer about Kyle.
Stupid, sexually harassing, horny Kyle. This morning when he walked into the newsroom, he looked like he”d gone nine rounds with a prizefighter.
Everyone looked aghast when they saw the deep purple bruises on his face, and his taped-up index finger. He claimed he was mugged on his way back to the hotel, but I knew better.
As I looked on in horror, I believed Kyle at first, that someone jumped him while walking. Then when he refused to look me in the eye, or acknowledge me even, I started to have my suspicions about Gabriel.
When Gabriel refused to answer my very direct questions just now, I became certain.
”Dammit,” I whisper out loud, to no one. I”m standing on the sidewalk outside of the newspaper. There”s no one around, and I dread returning to the newsroom, where all the managers have gathered today. I don”t have a lot of work today; the new crime reporter is out meeting with sources and I”m supposed to be ”making a list” of articles I”d like to write.
”Think about Easter, that”s coming up,” Mike had told me this morning, when I asked him what I should be doing. ”Decorating eggs, bunnies as pets, menus. Things like that.”
Easter bunnies as pets? I”d been writing about murders and mafiosos. Bunnies are the last things I want to write about, but apparently this is my new life.
I stomp to my car and climb in. Part of me wants to cancel on Gabriel tonight, to tell him that our entire relationship is a terrible idea.
But.
I still yearn for him. Still desire him. Still fantasize about him and want the taste of his skin on my tongue.
But do I want him to commit violence for me?
I adore being with him.
But did he pull strings to get me off the crime beat?
These are things I need to discuss with him tonight. I need answers, not kisses, not conversational dodging. It”s difficult to focus when I”m with him because of all the lust swirling around. Take last night in the bathroom — I didn”t plan on making out with him on a sofa in a restaurant bathroom. But he short-circuits my brain and I get distracted.
A difficult conversation is necessary if we”re going to continue this relationship. It”s important that he knows that he can”t just ignore my concerns, or my desires.
Sure, I didn”t want Kyle to harass me last night. I also didn”t want him to be beaten within an inch of his life.
I push out a sigh and start my car. If I”m not going to cancel tonight, I need to find something appropriate to wear. He”s seen every nice thing in my closet. It”s not like I have a vast wardrobe, and nothing fancy for a dinner in Miami.
And we”re taking a jet...
”How ridiculous,” I snort aloud.
All right, screw it. I”m going to the mall to find a dress. It”s not like anyone at work will miss me, since I don”t have a deadline, and since everyone is fawning all over the injured Kyle. Plus, Mike thinks I”m out finding the scoop of the century about Easter rabbits.
I drive ten minutes to the mall, get out and wander around from store to store. Nothing seems right, and as I”m trying on a few slinky black dresses, I suddenly feel like my body”s being dragged down by cement blocks. Taking off the dress, I slump on the bench in the dressing room, familiar with this sensation.
I get it when I miss Lorna.
If she were alive right now, I”d be texting her photos of the dresses. Asking her for advice. Lorna would be thrilled to know I was screwing a man like Gabriel — she always loved the bad boys — and would help me find the perfect thing to wear and to say.
But she”s gone, and now that I might have a man in my life, I”ve never felt so lonely for female friendship.
”You look delicious.Edible. Jesus, Riley. I almost want to just take you home and eat dinner there, so we can be closer to a bed and have you for dessert. Or maybe you”re my main course.”
Gabriel kisses the sensitive spot right under my earlobe, and I shiver. ”We could still do that, you know.”
We”re in the deserted lobby of the executive airport, waiting for the jet to refuel. I”m in a short, black dress that is so tight it shows off every one of my curves, and tall, black heels. It”s much more risqué than I”d normally wear, but this is a test for Gabriel.
I want to know if he”s the kind of man who will try to dictate my clothing choices.
So far, he merely wants to devour me.
”Absolutely not. You got all dressed up and look perfect, and we have reservations at the hottest restaurant in the city.”
His phone buzzes, and he checks the screen. ”The jet”s ready.”
I grab his arm. ”Listen, Gabriel, there are some things we need to discuss. I have questions.”
”On the plane. C”mon.” He threads his fingers between mine.
”No, I want to do it before we go, so I don”t ruin everything.” I”d hoped to have more time with him here in the little airport, but traffic had gotten in the way.
A flash of surprise crosses his face. ”We only have a short takeoff window. That”s how these small jets work. We gotta go, blondie.”
I fold my arms across my chest. He looks me up and down, as if he”s assessing something.
”Are you thinking about physically carrying me onto the jet?”
”The thought crossed my mind, yes.”
I let out a long, strangled groan.
”Please, let”s go. I”ll answer any question you want while we”re in the air. I promise.”
God, it is impossible to say no to this man when he looks sweet and earnest. ”Fine. Let”s go.”
Hand in hand, we walk outside and across the tarmac to the stairs leading to the jet. Once we”re inside, I start to perspire. This is far fancier than I expected, although I must admit, I wasn”t exactly sure what it would be like inside a private plane. It”s not like I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing.
We sit side-by-side on a long, leather sofa. This is more like a luxury living room than a plane, and part of me wants to wander and explore the small space. There”s even a small cage in the corner, and I point to it. ”What”s that?”
The corners of Gabriel”s mouth quirk up. ”It”s a crate for Reese. When we fly to see my sister and niece. He gets agitated on flights and prefers his own space, so I had it installed.”
The fact that he did that for a fluffball of a dog makes me like him even more, right at a time when I should be terrified, or pissed, at recent events.
A flight attendant, a guy, sets champagne on a small table in front of us. I glance around nervously as the plane taxis down the runway.
Gabriel grabs my hand. ”You okay with flying?”
”Yeah, I”m fine. Is this your personal jet?”
He casually nods and takes a sip from his glass. The idea that one person is wealthy enough to own an actual plane is mind-blowing.
”So what did you want to talk about, babe? I”m all yours.”
I think it”s his dimple that makes him look so adorable. Or maybe it”s the cut of the midnight-blue suit and the crisp white shirt. Unlike last night, he”s not wearing a tie. He”s got a hint of stubble on his jaw, though, and it”s disarmingly sexy.
I steel myself by downing half of my drink, then attempt to daintily blot my red lips with a napkin. We”re in the air, and the flight so far is much smoother than I anticipated.
”I have a few questions.”
Gabriel nods, all businesslike. ”Shoot.”
”Did you rough up Kyle last night?”
He licks his lips. ”What”s your next question?”
He”s not making this easy. ”Did you pull strings to get me taken off the crime beat at the paper?”
He frowns and tilts his head. His split-second, surprised reaction seems genuine. ”What? No. Why would I do that?”
”Because you didn”t want me poking around the city when it comes to organized crime.”
He screws up his face. ”Riley, wouldn”t it be easier if you were poking around, then I could get info from you that would help me do...things?”
Stumped, I blink a few times. ”True. That would make more sense. Writing about bunnies won”t help you any.”
”What? Bunnies?”
I wave my hand in the air. ”Nevermind. What about the first question?”
He stares into his champagne glass, then takes a long sip, finally setting the empty flute down. ”Riley, you don”t need to know the answer to everything. If we”re going to be together, you must accept a certain level of uncertainty. I will shield you as much as possible from the unpleasant, I can guarantee that. But my line of work is complicated.”
My nostrils flare. ”I don”t want you to think you have to fight my battles for me. I”m perfectly capable of handling things myself.”
”I know. And that”s one of the reasons I appreciate you. You”re a fighter.” He stares at me, and his expression for once isn”t amused or lust-filled. It”s completely serious.
”So you didn”t talk with the publisher about me?”
He shakes his head. ”I have no desire to interfere with your work.”
”And yet you felt like you needed to teach Kyle a lesson.”
A muscle in Gabriel”s jaw twitches. ”You said yourself that he was creepy.”
”He was, but?—”
”So why are you making excuses for him? Do you think you”re the first woman he”s been creepy with?” Gabriel”s eyes flash a glittering obsidian color.
”Probably not,” I murmur.
”I rest my case.”
He refills our glasses and we sit in silence for a few seconds.
”I”m going to be completely honest with you,” I say.
”Please do.”
”I don”t like it when you”re bossy. Like today on the phone when you hung up.”
”A meeting was starting and I had to go.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks slightly uncomfortable, like he”s never had a difficult conversation with a member of the opposite sex.
”I understand. But ordering me around and hanging up on me. Not cool.”
He nods thoughtfully. After a beat he says, ”Okay. I”ll try not to do that again. That was rude of me. I apologize.”
To his credit, he sounds genuinely remorseful.
”Maybe I”m especially touchy about that kind of thing because...” my voice disappears. Do I want to go into all this?
”Because?” His dark eyes soften.
”Because my father”s a real bully. And I”ve spent a lifetime watching him bully and gaslight my mother, and he did it to me, too. Among other things.”
Gabriel drags his thumb over his bottom lip, staring at the far wall of the plane. ”Riley, if you ever, and I mean, ever, want me to handle anyone for you, want me to send a message or?—”
”Are you saying you”d rough up my father if I asked? Oh, Gabriel, come on.”
He slides his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. ”I”m saying that I will fucking rip apart anyone who hurts you. If you don”t want that, you need to tell me right now. You need to end this. Because I”m not going to sit back and watch you get hurt. Ever. As long as you”re with me, it”s my job to keep you safe and happy.”
I swallow hard as he folds me into his side. My heart feels like it”s trying to escape from my rib cage.
”So, Riley, what do you want? What will it be?”
I straighten so I can look him in the eye. Probably this isn”t my best decision, but without Lorna, I”m flying without a safety net. I need to let this relationship unfold, need to find out how we end.
If we end.
”You. I want you.”