43. Ethan
CHAPTER 43
Ethan
SAD PUPPY DOG FACE
I ’m such an idiot. I had to open my dumb fucking mouth and vomit my insecurities all over Marisa. She hasevery right to be mad. It took all of five seconds after she stormed off for me to realize how in the wrong I was. I thought I had moved past this, but it’s pretty evident I’m transferring my fears from my past relationship onto this one, and it’s not fair to Marisa. The problem is, I’m not sure I can stop it on my own.
When her footsteps sound at the front door, my heart plummets to my stomach, my body tensing with each step closer. I’m already mentally preparing myself for a fight, truly our first one, excluding the bickering from before we really knew each other. When she walks into the living room, I’m thoroughly primed for her face to be tight in anger, but instead, she looks sullen, her shoulders sagging in sadness. Somehow, this is worse than anger.
“Hey,” she says, her voice withdrawn.
I stand, feeling like a kid being called into the principal’s office. “Hey.”
She sets her bag on the coffee table and slips out of her boots, plopping down on the couch. “You can drop the sad puppy dog face. I don’t want to fight.”
“We don’t have to fight, but we should talk about it.” I step closer. “Starting with me apologizing for being a massive, insecure dick.”
She breathes out a laugh. “Okay, then.”
Approaching her like she’s a feral cat, I carefully take the seat next to her and push the boundary further by setting her curled up legs on my lap. I begin massaging her calves. She tenses at the contact, but quickly relaxes as I start kneading under her knee.
“I’m not her.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, almost like she’s talking to herself.
“I know.”
“If you know, then why treat me like someone you think would cheat on you? I’ve been cheated on. I know how badly it hurts. That’s not the kind of person I am.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I panicked a little. My feelings for you have come on so fast and so strong it’s honestly terrifying thinking of losing you. Especially losing you to someone else.”
“The only way you’re going to lose me is if you keep acting like a Neanderthal, trying to mark your territory.”
“I’ll never do it again—well, with that intention. No promises on not shoving my cum back in your pussy, because that was fucking hot.”
“Always a perv,” she teases.
Some of the unease slips away when I see a small smile play on her lips. “You liked it.”
She smirks. “Maybe.”
We sit in silence for a beat, her body slowly unraveling from the tension.
“You know,” she continues. “I could easily compare you to Brandon, but I actively choose not to.”
My hands pause. “I’m nothing like that piece of shit.”
“In reality, of course not, but on paper, you two tick almost all the same boxes.”
The back of my neck heats. I don’t enjoy thinking about Marisa with that asshole, and I especially don’t like the comparison game we’re playing right now.
“I’m not him,” I say, parroting her words back to her.
Her eyes catch mine, holding me in place. “I know.” She reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry for storming off. That was a bad move on my part.”
My pulse begins to settle. I fucked up, but we talked it out and survived. The guilt will continue to grate at me, though. I need to do something to show I trust her. It’s easy to sit here and say I’m not going to be a jealous asshole again. It’s a lot harder to prove it.
Unable to resist being this close to her and not kissing her, I lean in for a kiss, my chest swelling as she closes the distance between us. Quickly, the kiss intensifies. My tongue sweeping against hers, her mouth opening up for me, hands skimming down her waist to pull her in.
“Mmm mmm,” she moans, shaking her head. Breaking the kiss, she breathes deeply. “I need to shower. You made a mess of me earlier.”
“I don’t mind.”
She laughs, trying to squirm out of my hold. “I mind.”
“Okay.” I grip her waist tightly, standing and tossing her over my shoulder.
A gasping ooph sound escapes her lips. “Where are you taking me?”
I give her ass a light smack. “To the shower. So I can clean you up and make you dirty all over again.”