Chapter 9
NINE
“Nah.” Kofi grimaced. “Hell nah.”
Instead of finishing the cake sample, he spat it into the napkin in his hand.
“What the fuck is that supposed to be?”
Chuckling, I pointed to the picture that displayed the samples, their flavors, and the ingredients.
“Carrot cake? Who the fuck orders a carrot cake for their wedding?”
“Some couples, apparently.” I was doubling over in laughter.
I’d only been with Kofi for two hours and my jaws were already sore.
“Not us. We’re not– Ugh. The fuck, man. People really eat that shit? It’s like chewing a fucking sponge.”
“I guess it’s a no for the carrot cake,” Marg, the owner of the bakery asked as she returned to the table with another sample.
“It’s a hell no for me so it’s a hell no for her, too. Matter of fact, don’t waste anymore of your cake, ma’am. We’re good with the white cake. That whipped icing or whatever that shit was you let us taste the second time. And, at least one layer of red velvet. The design, we’re going with the big one. There will be a shitload of people. The details you can follow up with her on.”
With a shake of my head, I agreed, “I can handle the rest. I think he’s a bit overstimulated. We both want those flavors, though. Will that be doable?”
I was trying to hold in my laughter, but the faces Kofi was making beside me made it difficult.
“Yes, of course. I’ll give you a call tomorrow if you’re about over it for the day. We’ve been here for quite some time, so I completely understand.”
“That would be great. Call me tomorrow and we can solidify the details and note the specifics.”
“Alright. Sounds good.”
“It was nice meeting you two. Congratulations on your pending nuptials.”
“Thank you,” I responded, taking the duplicate order form she’d been filling out since we took our seats.
Kofi was the first to stand. Before I was able to push my chair back up to the table, he was already at the door waiting for me with it ajar. The coolness of the October weather was inviting. It wasn’t hot and neither was it cold.
The linen pants I wore paired perfectly with the beige button down and Louboutin sandals. We’d nearly eaten a week’s worth of cake, so my appetite had diminished. However, I was interested in the drink that Kofi had promised today.
“You hate carrot cake. Marking that in my mental notebook of all things Kofi.”
“And you love whipped icing.”
“I do. It makes me so happy.”
“Happy wife, happy sex life. Isn’t that how the saying goes.”
Completely taken by his charming personality and ability to bring a smile out of anyone, I shook my head.
“No. Happy wife, happy life.”
“Same thing.”
“If you say so,” I tittered. “So, still on for the drink you offered or has duty begun calling?”
His phone had gone off quite a few times during cake tasting. He’d silenced every call.
“It’s a spot right down the way. We can walk but if your dogs are barking then I can grab the whip from the valet.”
“My dogs?” I shrieked.
“Yeah. Especially the one with that chip in it. You might need to put that motherfucker on ice when you get home. Does it hurt?”
I’d hit my toe on the console on the way out of the door. The white polish had chipped, pissing me off just before I climbed into Kofi’s passenger seat. The fact he’d noticed was both comical and maddening.
“It is fine, just injured. I bumped against the console before leaving the house. It’ll be fine and the polish will be fixed tomorrow.”
“Here,” he urged, peeling a hundred from the stack of money he’d pulled from his pocket. It was too thick to fold, so he slid it right back down the side of his jeans until it was no longer visible.
“That should help.”
A hundred dollars was more than enough for a polished toe. However, I was considering the rest a small gift.
“So– down this way?” I tipped my head in the direction we were heading.
“Nah. That way.” He tilted his head in the opposite direction with a snigger, “Fuck you think, love.”
It wasn’t until his response that I realized how unnecessary the question was. Of course we were headed in the right direction.
A sense of humor.
Lives life–fully.
Not uptight.
Kofi had good qualities. Though we’d only managed to see one another a few times, the budding friendship hadn’t gone unnoticed. My body didn’t warm to his touch. My center no longer throbbed when he spoke. My heart didn’t leap at the sight of him. However, I knew being with him meant countless smiles, unlimited laughter, and a good time.
“It was a simple question.”
“That your long head ass already knew the answer to.”
With one arm, he pulled me closer by looping it around my neck.
“You thinking red and white?”
“Red and white?”
“For the wedding colors.”
“Haven’t your mother told you? The colors were already decided before my plane landed.”
“No one has told me anything, honestly.”
“Possibly because they know you don’t care.” I shrugged.
“That’s not entirely true. I know girls fantasize about their special day from a jit. I don’t give a fuck what we do as long as it makes you happy.”
“A heart. I wasn’t sure you had one,” I expressed, looking up at him.
“My heart has nothing to do with what I just said, Rather. Decency does. I know this shit isn’t easy for you, so the least I can do is make sure you get exactly what you want.”
“I want a renewal.”
“Damn, we haven’t even gotten down the aisle yet.”
“This isn’t our wedding, Kofi. It’s your family’s wedding. When both of our hearts are in it, we can wed– for us . This one, it’s for them.”
“I’m fucking with that.”
“So, it doesn’t matter much… what I want doesn’t matter much this time. Ask me next time. I’ll have a heap of requests. I’ve been gathering them since I was six.”
“Let me start putting up some paper for that shit now.”
“Please, because it’s going to cost a pretty penny.”
We strolled down the boulevard, conquering two blocks before we reached our destination. The upscale bar was hidden in plain view.
Cassius . The name was written in a neat, curvy script. My eyes adjusted to the low lights. It was a swift, dramatic change from the brightness of the sun.
Kofi wasted little time securing two chairs at the bar. Though I preferred a more private setting, I remained open to the idea of being amongst others in the social setting. For a weekday evening, the bar was near capacity. Almost every chair was taken.
The bubbly bartender with the bone-straight blunt cut that stopped right at her shoulders bounced over to our end of the bar. She placed small napkins in front of us and followed up with glasses of iced water before finally halting.
“What can I get for you two?”
It wasn’t until her gaze lingered on Kofi that I realized she wasn’t fond of his company. A roll of the eyes was enough to let me know the two had history.
“Well,” she retracted, “For you. I’m almost certain I know what he wants.”
Her audacity was appalling.
“This evening, he’s going to tell you again,” I assured her. “I’d hate for you to get too caught up in the past and serve the wrong drink.”
“Unless his preference has changed from three nights ago, I think I’ll be fine, babe.”
I refused to break a sweat or show signs of intimidation. Because, frankly, I was anything but intimidated. Kofi was a free agent and so was I. What and who he did in his free time was none of my concern, but respect was the principle here. Not territory.
“It hasn’t,” I confirmed, though I wasn’t sure what his preferred drink was myself.
“Hailey–” Kofi scoffed, “We’re not doing that, baby girl. Respect. You feel me?”
“Whatever, Kofi.”
Though she was interested in every word that came from his lips, disdain covered her pretty face.
“Fix the fucking drink and your face.”
With a roll of her neck, she turned and headed for the rows of neatly stacked liquor.
“I’ll take a martini. A dirty one.”
She tossed a hand over her shoulder to let me know she’d heard me loud and clear. I watched closely as she began gathering the ingredients. I didn’t want to be the victim of a scorned lover, especially not for a man who I barely knew and cared almost nothing about.
“Is this what I have to look forward to when with you during these ninety days?”
I could hear him suck the skin of his teeth. My eyes never left Hailey.
“That’s nothing, Rather.”
“Does she know that?”
“I don’t give a fuck what she knows or what she thinks. I’m telling you it’s nothing.”
“I don’t need convincing, Kofi. You’ve made it clear that you’re n–”
“It’s nothing. If you saw the nigga that was deep in your guts three nights ago out with a woman, you might just be feeling a way, too. Yet and still, it’s nothing.”
“Nothing another night can’t fix, huh?”
Finally, I peeped in his direction. He shrugged, but the smile on his face made his intentions clear. Hailey was on his radar tonight. With slightly ruffled feathers, I returned to continue observing every move Kofi’s current fixation was making.
He doesn’t belong to you, Rather. Not yet, at least.
I repeated the words in my head once more before letting the discontent roll off my shoulders. When Hailey approached the second time, she had both drinks in-hand.
“Thank you.”
A tilt of Kofi’s head along with raised brows forced a handful of words from her mouth.
“You’re absolutely welcomed.”
“Welcome,” I corrected.
“Excuse me?”
“You added an unnecessary D to the word. It’s welcome .”
Chuckling, she tossed her head back in embarrassment. “Seriously?”
“You’re a very pretty girl, Hailey.”
I sipped from the drink she’d given me. It was divine. She made a damn good martini.
“This is a nice establishment. One day, one day you might come across a man that’s worth fussing about. Though, in my opinion , no man is worth fussing about. One day, you’ll run into him. Right here. That’s if you can manage to keep your feelings in your pocket and your employment status.”
I shrugged, taking the olive from the rim and biting into it. Before speaking again, I swallowed it.
“And, when you do, you’ll know the difference. You’ll feel the difference. You’ll understand the difference very quickly between a man that belongs to you and one that doesn’t. Because this one, he’ll belong to me in a few short months and the D he’s been giving you will stop.”
“You’ll, then, discover it was a waste of time. He was a waste of time. Waste of emotions. Waste of risks–like losing your job for being downright nasty to a very important, very influential customer. Which would be a shame, because you make a hell of a martini.”
I looked her square in the eyes and exposed at least twenty of my thirty-two teeth.
“So, instead of going low with someone who has seen the depths of hell and had a damn good time, let’s get along. Kofi will be yours for the night. I promise. But, for right now, he’s mine. Deal with it, babe. Fix your pretty face like he advised and keep making me pretty drinks.”
“I tip well and it’s not dick that I’ll be paying you with. I hope you’ve managed to acquire more than that from him, too. If not, then we have more to talk about, girlfriend.”
A wink and a swipe of the tongue across my lips and I was over the antics. If all went well, I’d finish a second martini before my departure. However, if Hailey couldn’t comprehend what I’d just explained, I’d leave after finishing off the glass in my hand. By morning, she wouldn’t have a job.
When her precious features began to relax, I got an inkling we were going to be just fine.
“You’re hell, man. Goddamn.”
“And, you’re a heartbreaker. Why would you suggest a bar you know–”
“In my defense, I didn’t know until we walked in. Her mouth is always full. She never told me where she worked.”
The same smile that peeled my lips backward pushed his up with a curve.
“She knew what you wanted to drink. Sucking your little dick wasn’t all she does when you’re together.”
“You’re right. She fuc–”
“Kofi!”
“I’m just saying.”
“Don’t.”
“Okay. But, on some real shit. I didn’t know she worked here. I wouldn’t have come. There are three other places we could’ve gone on this strip.”
“It’s fine, Kofi.”
“I’ll get the check if you’re ready to roll.”
“You’ll do no such thing. I’m fine. I’m going to finish my drink and then have another one. It’s been a long day.”
Kofi got comfortable in his seat. He’d been at the edge, unsure if we were staying or not. When I assured him I was alright and could hold my own, he planted himself firmly in the seat. It wasn’t long before he began doing what he did best, bringing tears to my eyes and making my cheeks ache.
There wasn’t something about a reclined roof in the autumn breeze underneath the sun’s subtle glow that dissolved my transgressions. Nothing matters at the moment. Not even the destruction of the loose curls I was proud of accomplishing before heading out the door. Not even the broken Dior lipstick I’d dropped on the floor in an attempt to reapply it before leaving the bar. Nothing .
Exhaustion stalked me, but I was fighting to stay away. The day was still young. And, for the first time in a few days, I felt invincible. Sleep wasn’t on my radar. Neither was a night with Kofi, so it was likely my only option.
Hailey would be waiting and I’d hate to disappoint baby girl. She was too good behind the bar and I had every intention to return to Cassius for her service. She’d refused the money Kofi tried handing her, and responded by telling us it was her treat. After she got her feelings in check, she was a joy to be around. She kept us entertained and didn’t skimp us on the liquor.
“Uhhhhhhh.”
I’d yawned five times in the twenty-three minutes we’d been driving. The drive to Windridge seemed much shorter than the journey back home. Maybe it was the two martinis I’d consumed or maybe it was the day’s activities that had drained me.
Kofi’s hand snaked across my shoulder and around my neck. Briefly, he took his eyes off the road to look at me. When our shades aligned, he squeezed gently. The amount of pressure was perfect, relieving the tension instantly.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head backward. The wind kissed my lips and forehead. Kofi’s generosity continued as he knead away the kinks of my neck. If I hadn’t been enough already, I was missing St. Catana even more now. Bi-weekly spa appointments with full-body massages, facials, lymphatic massages, and wood therapy had spoiled me.
As the wheels of his car stopped rolling, so did his fingers. The music lowered and the familiar sound of steel forced my eyes open. Instinctively, I clutched my purse where my piece of protection was sleeping peacefully. At the click of a button, it would transform from a hibernating bear to a raging beast.
“Fuck is this nigga?” Kofi questioned, hurrying out of the car.
I wasn’t far behind him. The casually dressed man placed a third and final box next to the door. At the sight of Kofi and I, his eyes grew twice their size. Before he was able to do so himself, Kofi snatched the headphones off his ear and trained his gun on his side.
“What’s in the boxes my nigga?”
The better question is who sent you?
In any other instance, I wouldn’t approve of the gun Kofi had jammed into the side of a stranger, but this wasn’t any other instance. My freedom was on the line and I’d been promised protection. Everyone had to be vetted. Everyone. Anyone.
From the mailman to the delivery man, I needed to know who you were, who you worked for, and why you were at my home. And, if you didn’t come empty-handed, I needed to know what you’d brought to my doorstep and why.
“I’m not sure. I– I’m just the delivery guy. My number is on the side of the truck. If you want, you can call the corporate office or– or my bos– or my girl. My momz can even confirm w– where I work. Man, I have a daughter on the way. I’m ju– I’m just doing my job.”
“Name on the package?”
“I– I– Rose.”
My heart fell from my chest onto the pavement.
“Sender’s name on the package?”
“Let him go. He’s not a threat.”
Kofi looked over at me, wondering if I was sure. With a nod, I doubled down.
“He’s just doing his job. Let him get home to his pregnant girlfriend. Please.”
He loosened his grip on the shirt and stuffed his gun where it belonged. Roughly, he straightened the shirt he’d wrinkled.
“My bad, my guy. Can never be too careful.”
With a nod, the frightened delivery driver nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. I feel ya, man, damn. Thought I was about to lose my life today.”
Kofi shrugged. “There’s always tomorrow.”
“Kofi!”
Chuckling, he patted the guy on the shoulder and sent him about his day. I left him in the driveway, while he observed the delivery truck until it was no longer in plain view. Meanwhile, I shoved the large boxes inside as quickly and as quietly as possible.
Though it was a struggle, I managed. I pressed my palm against the wall near the front door to catch my breath.
“Rather?”
“In here.”
Gathering my bearings was a bit harder than I thought. My heart was racing. My head was spinning.
“Where the packages?”
Kofi entered my home, confused. When he laid eyes on the package, his movement halted.
“You took that shit in by yourself?”
“It was nothing,” I lied, heading into the kitchen and hoping he’d followed.
I hadn’t read the names on the packages, but the last thing I wanted was for him to have the chance. Instead of following me into the kitchen, he dipped into the guest bathroom underneath the staircase.
I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and quenched my thirst. By the time I’d gotten half down, taking small sips one after the other, Kofi appeared in the hallway.
“I’m going to head out. Duty calls.”
Chuckling, I rolled my eyes with a smile. “Duty my ass. Hailey called.”
“She didn’t, actually. But, I have some shit to handle. You good? You need anything?”
“I don’t,” I admitted, “But you can give me the rest of what’s in your pocket if you’re feeling generous.”
With a shake of his head, he dug into his pocket and stretched a hand filled with cash. He placed it on the counter closest to him and farthest from me.
“Thank you.”
“Happy wife, happy life, right?”
“You’re catching on rather fast. You’ll be just fine,” I sniggered, taking another swig of my drink.
“Can a nigga get a hug or something? You just broke me.”
“Baby, if that’s all you had, then I wouldn’t be here and there wouldn’t be an aisle to walk down in December. If there’s nothing more I hate in the world, it’s a man with a negative account balance.”
“Then, you don’t have to worry about hating me.”
I rounded the counter and sat the water bottle down as I neared Kofi. He leaned against the island and widened his arms, inviting me into his personal space.
“Mm hm. We’ll see.”
“Come ‘er with your feisty ass.”
“Feisty?”
“A fucking pitbull in a skirt. I’m going to have to warn these ditzy ass broads to pipe down or–”
“Go casket shopping with their besties.”
I embraced his warmth, standing between his legs with my arms on his shoulders.
“A fucking grenade, waiting to detonate.”
“Goodnight, Kofi.”
His hands closed in around me.
“I enjoyed you today. I look forward to the next time.”
“You’re a busy man.”
“I am. But when I have another free day, yours will be the first number I dial.”
“I won’t hold my breath.”
“Don’t, because it might be a while.”
“I’m sure.”
“Goodnight, Rather.”
He released me, but not before pressing his lips against my forehead. Because the heat was slowly rising in the kitchen, I tried freeing us both from temptation. Though my views of Kofi were changing with each hour of the day, the attraction hadn’t been abolished completely. It was intact.
He was quicker on his feet. His hand cupped my chin, pulling my face closer to him, closer to his lips. And, sooner than I could protest, his was on mine. They’d gone as quickly as they’d come. I placed a hand over my mouth, trying to determine if it was illegal to enjoy the feel of Kofi or if it was alright.
“Until next time.”
Stunned into silence, I nodded, watching him walk out of the kitchen and down the hall. Seconds later, the front door closed and I was left alone with my thoughts. Thoughts of betrayal. Guilt plagued me.
Priest .
My chest caved. My heart plummeted. My mouth hung. My nostrils flared.
How the right thing could feel so wrong and the wrong thing feel so fucking right was beyond me. Kofi was the man I was set to marry. Kissing him shouldn’t have felt criminal but somehow, someway it had. Because, despite him becoming my husband soon, my body didn’t belong to him. Not now. Later .
Priest.
It was him. I was his.
Thoughts of him led me into the doorway where boxes were waiting for me. Locking the front door was my first order of business. Next was unboxing. I dipped a hand in the tray on the console table and retrieved the mail opener.
The tape split with ease. I cut them all before digging into the first box. It was filled with a few more. I removed the one on top.
My cheeks burned and my mouth filled with saliva as I stared at the Chanel box. Without removing the top, I already knew what was inside because I had one just like it upstairs in my bedroom. Priest had kicked my ass in tennis, doing damage to my Chanel sneakers.
“My God, he’s everything ,” I sighed, pressing the box against my chest and closing my eyes.
Two skirts.
Four shirts.
A denim bucket bag.
Sunglasses.
A gold bracelet.
Gold earrings.
And, a pair of slippers.
I stacked the items from the box full of Chanel on the stairs with intentions of taking them upstairs when everything was unboxed. The next box was the heaviest. There wasn’t much left to the imagination. The large LV box inside of it could only mean one thing. An extra large LV luggage slid out with ease.
The last package had me stomped. I wasn’t sure of its components and the brand was unfamiliar. Nevertheless, I tore through the box to find two smaller ones stacked on top of each other.
The first one housed three red dresses, all beautiful as the next. The second one was full of the same dresses, but all in black. At the bottom of the large box was a note attached to the receipt. For a brand I didn’t recognize, I thought the total of the purchase was pure insanity, but I was grateful Priest understood the caliber of woman he was dealing with.
I imagine your voice is like silk on the line. Make me a believer, Rose.
555-230-9917 .
It wasn’t until I read his words that I realized I’d never conversed with Priest in his absence. I heard his voice behind my sleeping mask when I laid down at night. I heard his voice in my dreams while I slept. I heard his voice in my ear when I drifted off into the world we’d created while wide awake. But, never had I heard his baritone on my line.
Diffidence pushed my cheeks toward the sky. I pulled my lip between my teeth and bit down until the pain I was causing registered with me. Roulette was the first on my mind, but the foolishness that would follow my genuine concern for things transpiring between Priest and I played in my head.
I quickly decided against calling her. It wasn’t her chastising I needed. It was something else.
Wine .
Chateau Lafite-Rothschild .
It was a guilty pleasure. The dryness was perfection. Chemistry had introduced us all to the red beauty and I’d never forgive him.
A bottle was the cost of the average rent in the States. Every time I opened a bottle, I donated to a local charity. However, I was in no position to do so, now. Traceable payments were prohibited.
I rushed into the kitchen and kneeled in front of the wine fridge. I removed the lone bottle and sat it atop the counter. It wasn’t long before the inside of the bottle kissed the air.
The smell of merlot and sauvignon tickled my nostrils. Eagerly, I grabbed a glass from the rack above the small fridge and filled it less than a quarter of the way.
Swirl.
Sniff.
Sip.
“Ummmm.”
The first sip was celestial. I had a second. Then, a third. It wasn’t long before I was pouring another glass.
“I’ll slow down this time,” I promised.
Priest’s request was heavily influencing my actions. I could consume the entire bottle and doubted I’d be ready to fulfill it.
A new form of communication had me doubting my ability to control my impulses. A new form of communication had me considering how much faster and how much deeper I’d fall for the man coated in dark skin and undeniable beauty.
I tiptoed across the floor, feet bare and tapping against the coolness. It wasn’t until I rested my body on the sofa in the living room that I regretted not grabbing a pair of socks from the full-sized coat closet.
Call him . The voice in my head demanded.
I hugged my cell in one hand and the stem of the wine glass in the other. I didn’t need to see the paper again. I remembered the number at first glance.
555-230-9917 .
The first ring pushed me deeper into the couch. I gnawed my bottom lip, preparing to end the call if I didn’t have an answer by the third ring. It was the second one that had my breath caught in my chest.
Anxiously, I waited for the familiar tenor to disrupt my entire nervous system. Instead, I was lulled by rhythmic breathing. I drew blanks. One after the other.
His presence was so commanding. So paralyzing. It stripped me of my power. It stripped me of the education I’d spent my entire life acquiring.
I want to kiss you deeply.
See your handsome face.
Touch your dark, flawless skin.
Tell you things I’ve been doing… been thinking.
Listen to your heart as it beats against my ear.
Hug away your worries and patch your wounds .
The silence was loud and it was obnoxious. Though I wanted it to end, all the things I wanted to say, all the things I could say , I knew I shouldn’t. So, instead, I breathed into the phone, matching each breath he pulled in and released.
“Rather.” Finally, Priest spoke into the phone.
“Yesss?” Hungrily. Desperately. Shamefully, I responded.
“I don’t like missing you.”
“I– Me either. Where are you?”
“Have you eaten?”
I sighed, remembering I hadn’t. “No.”
“Then, get dressed and meet me at the location I’m sending you now.”
“Pri–”
“I don’t want to hear shit, Rather. I don’t want to hear nothing if it isn’t those few words that’ll let me know I won’t end up at this address alone. So, what is it?”
I had no intention of protesting. I knew exactly what he wanted to hear and before I asked anything else, I’d validate his feelings. I’d acknowledge his hunger. I’d quench his thirst.
“I’m on my way.”
“Good. That’s all a nigga needs to hear.”
“That’s not all.”
“What else, my dear?”
“What do you want me in?”
“A red dress. Leave your piece. I’m all the protection you’ll need tonight.”
The call ended without notice. I fell back onto the cushion of the couch, unable to contain the explosion in my chest. My heart raced wildly, galloping like a horse at the Kentucky Derby.
Most women experienced the negative influence of a man’s presence. The kind that declined their health, sanity, and ability to navigate the world with a whole, fully-functioning heart. With a man beside them, they became the diminished version of themselves. And, when they passed a mirror, they hardly recognized the suppressed form of their beauty.
Not Priest .
One foot led the other toward the door where he stood. Not only was he magnetic, but he was slowly birthing something within me that not even I had the power to. I’d been a strong, confident Black woman since I’d reached the tender age of twelve. Though society hadn’t deemed me age appropriate, maturity had. My mind aged much faster than my frame and face.
Even in all my confidence and strength, there was much room for elevation. Each time I saw his handsome features, was blessed with his infectious smile, heard his deep rasp, looked into his dark orbs, held his hand, or slid down his thick, lengthy dick, I accessed another level. The heights his presence revealed weren’t ones my wealth, status, or connections could guarantee entrance to. They belonged to a man. A good man. This man.
“Hello, Priest.”
I stood before him, fully clothed but simultaneously bare. I wore nothing. He stripped me of everything each time he laid eyes on me.
Silence etched away at the gloom of the night. The sun had settled and the drizzling had began. Lights blurred, just like the boundaries we’d clearly set. Life outside Priest’s suite was forbidden, but here I stood.
The hands I was beginning to crave in the wee hours of the night touched both sides of my face, easing down ever so gently. Priest brought me closer. I could feel his breath on my skin. I could taste the mint on his tongue simply from inhaling.
“Hello, my dear,” he sighed, visibly relieved to see me.
Knowledge of his yearning was a source of happiness for me. It made it clear I wasn’t alone. It made it clear I wasn’t imagining the connection between us. It was real. We were real.
“Unfathomable. Empyrean ,” his whispers made the hair on the back of my neck stand.
His voice grew slightly louder as he continued. “Don’t ever change, Rose. Remain delicate, remain graceful. Those parts, they’re the best parts of you.”
“And the jagged ones.”
“They’re most addictive.”
I searched his eyes for signs of dishonesty. I found none. A smile stretched my lips backward.
“Where are we?”
“Exactly where we need to be, Rose.” He paused to bring his lips to mine.
His kiss stirred my center.
“I couldn’t stand another night between the walls of the suite. Though I’ve broken my promise, your comfort will remain intact.”
“I–”
“This thing between you and I–” He explained, still holding me close and staring right into my eyes, “It’s bigger than those walls. There’s not enough room there to contain our bond. It’s too big. Too wide. Too tall. Too plentiful.”
I nodded, understanding exactly what was being revealed to me.
“Too encompassing. Too much. It’s too much.”
Too good. Like the fairytale stories I read in my downtime. Like the love I root for in the books I can’t pull my eyes from. Like the movies that make my heart slow it’s beat but increase in intensity .
“How are you feeling?”
The concern etched in his voice wiped the smile from my face and deflated my cheeks.
“I’m okay. I feel– I feel good.”
Invincible. Unstoppable. Superior. On top of the fucking world .
“Good.”
He turned and took me by the hand. We entered the building through the door that quickly shut behind us. Darkness coated every corner of the large room. Candles covered nearly every inch of the floor. And, wherever there was space, there were roses. Ivory roses. Scattered on the floor.
A small path had been carved. We followed along until we reached the lone table in the middle. It was set for two. At the table, Priest slid my chair back. The nod of his head served as nonverbal instruction to take my seat. Happily, I lowered my butt into the cushioned chair.
Priest rounded the table and did the same. And, for what felt like an entire lifetime, we said nothing. Yet, our eyes never left one another. So much was said while nothing at all was spoken. And, when he was ready, Priest finally broke the silence.
“Thank you.”
“Thank me?” I asked, pointing at my chest.
I was unsure of why he wanted to thank me or what I’d done for him to show his appreciation.
“There’s no one else at the table, Rose.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Princeton has been in your care for only a little while. The improvements ar– they’re incredible, Rose. I’m not sure what those days consist of or what you two have done in the two sessions you’ve had, but he’s better.”
“His temperament. His attention span. His eye contact. His sleep patterns. His behavior. He feels like a new boy. I almost don’t recognize him. I mean– I do. But, he’s different. I’ve always thought he was perfect, but damn. I’m not sure what to classify this new kid as.”
“We’ve done very little in sessions, but we’ve made tremendous progress. With children just like Princeton, it’s imperative we build trust first. That’s been the goal for me.”
“We spent the first day on the sofa. The second, we finished Toy Story and conversed about our favorite parts while he finished a colors-by-the-number illustration of Woody. He didn’t need assistance.”
“I framed the finished product.”
“It was frame-worthy.”
“Time. Affection. Attention.”
“Hm?”
“That’s your angle with Princeton?”
“No. Not exactly. It just happens he’s part of a family I’m marrying into, so those things come along with the plan I’ve put in place. They’re added benefits of family therapy.”
“They’re making all the difference. He only knows us, blood relatives. Nikola has been by his side since birth, so he considers her one of us, too.”
“He’s been longing for a relationship with someone outside of his immediate circle.”
“He’s been longing for a mother,” Priest revealed, eyes penetrating parts of me that should’ve been reserved for my future spouse.
I swallowed the ball of nothingness in my throat. The room grew warmer. I took a quick look around, wondering if something had caught fire from the open flames. It didn’t take long for me to realize it was me. But, the candles weren’t the cause. Priest was the culprit.
“Figure,” he finished with a tilt of the head.
“I know someone just like him.” Teddy crossed my mind. “Five to be exact.”
My mother was the figure in Chem’s life that Princeton was searching for.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” He sat back in his chair, loosening his limbs in the process.
“The gifts.”
He scratched the side of his face though I was certain it wasn’t itching.
“That was hardly enough, Rose. You deserve more.”
“I won’t protest.”
“I won’t let you.”
I could feel the sides of my lips split as all of my teeth were put on full display. Coyly, I shook my head.
“You’re like–” I paused, taking a second to catch my breath. “Warm tea on a winter’s night. Like honey glaze on homemade butter biscuits. Like the stillness after the storm that lets everyone affected know things are okay now that you’re here.”
“Like ointment one slathers over their burned, bruised, or bitten skin. Like a love song. The kind they recorded in the eighties and nineties. Like a fresh face after a day in the brutal sun. Like lavender buds in cold water. Like light. Like warmth. Like comfort.”
Caught in my feelings, I quieted myself and placed a hand on my heart.
Still now .
“Like you,” he added, pointing his head in my direction.
“Like us,” I breathed.