13. Elio
ELIO
I watched as she walked out of the room, my heart feeling like it was about to drop straight to the floor.
A huge part of me wanted to go after her, but the other part just needed a fucking damn moment to think.
I closed my eyes briefly.
That was the problem. I wasn’t fucking thinking.
The image of her on this bed, on my bed, flashed through my mind.
There was no regret about it. I didn’t regret what happened one bit, even if there was a tinge of guilt that I was doing this with Valentino’s sister, and that she was a virgin—had been a virgin just moments before—and that I knew she was a virgin despite what she said, trying to egg me on.
Isa was shit at lying.
It didn’t help that she was blushing the entire time, and the blush only deepened when she tried to talk dirty. If what she said could even be considered dirty talk.
I smiled a little at the thought.
Perhaps I should have done this the right way. Talked to Valentino first before I went after his sister, dated a little bit, then married her before I took her virginity.
I shook my head, her words coming back to me.
No one owns my virginity.
I was no better than Joseph Gambino if I thought she shouldn’t get a say in the matter when it came to who she slept with.
The tradition of a virgin bride was an outdated one. I always thought so, and even if Massimo was trying to bring us away from all that, tradition was still tradition, and it was deeply embedded in many of the made men.
She was right. No one owned her virginity. Not her father, not Valentino, and certainly not me. Even if there was a more primal part of me that wanted to beat my chest like a fucking caveman for being her first.
And her only .
She was mine, and no other fucker was going to touch what was mine. Not as long as I was still breathing.
I got up from the bed and walked out of the room, looking for her.
I went into the guest bedroom and found the en-suite bathroom door closed, the sound of water running hitting me instantly.
I opened the door and walked in without a thought.
She didn’t notice me coming in.
Not with her head bent, looking lost and defeated. A pinching sensation started in the center of my chest and spread the more I looked at her through the glass shower door.
I did this.
I hurt her.
I clenched and unclenched my fists before moving into the shower. I wrapped my arms around her from behind. She jumped slightly in surprise but settled a little into me when she realized it was me.
I bent down and kissed her neck. She didn’t say anything. Didn’t show any reaction. Just stared straight ahead at the black-tiled wall.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly against her skin.
“What are you sorry about?”
“About what I said. You’re right. I shouldn’t have acted like you’re not capable of making decisions about your own body. I shouldn’t have been a complete ass about it.”
“Anything else?”
I tightened my arms around her. “I’m not sorry for taking your virginity.”
And wasn’t that the truth? I wasn’t sorry. She didn’t say anything for a beat, then she turned around and looked at me. Her light-blue eyes were red and swollen, and they stood out against her olive skin. Fuck me.
I cupped her cheek, wishing there was a way I could just go back in time and stop myself from hurting her.
“Baby.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want you to be sorry about that. I’m not.”
“Even though I was a complete ass about it afterward?” I asked.
And I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like her mouth twitched in a ghost of a smile.
“Yes,” she answered softly.
I leaned down and pressed my lips sweetly against hers, loving the way they molded perfectly against mine. It was as if God had made her just for me.
Fuck.
I deepened the kiss, and she let out those sweet little moans that just about destroyed me.
There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for these fucking sounds she made whenever I touched her.
Even go to war.
I reluctantly pulled away first, taking in her face. She kept her eyes closed, as if she was savoring the kiss as well and didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t resist and pressed another kiss.
Mine.
She was mine.
There was no other fucking way about it.
Valentino might have some strong opinions about it, but it didn’t fucking matter. Not anymore.
I wasn’t letting her go.
I pulled away, and she bent her head back to look at me.
I could get lost in those eyes of hers.
How fucking beautiful. I always knew she was a beautiful girl, but how the hell had I missed just how alluring she was?
Had I been completely blind?
I reached over for the shampoo bottle and squirted a good amount into my hands, then massaged it through her hair. She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan in pleasure. I hadn’t realized how satisfying the act of caring for her like this could be.
We cleaned each other.
There was nothing sexual about it, but it was a hell of a lot more intimate than anything I’d experienced with other women. While I didn’t mind it too much, I also didn’t know what to make of the small tinge I felt in my chest from the action.
When we were done, I shut off the water and grabbed one of the towels from the towel rack, drying her first and wrapping it around her small body. It seemed to swallow her whole. She looked fucking adorable.
I grabbed a towel for myself and quickly dried off before leading us out of the bathroom.
I didn’t linger in this room, bringing us back to my room instead.
If I had it my way, she wouldn’t be sleeping anywhere but my bed from now on, even if I knew that wouldn’t be possible. At least, not for a while.
I glanced over at her.
Isa had been quiet since the shower, her gaze down at her feet. I couldn’t see her face, and I didn’t know how she was feeling or what she was thinking. I moved over to the walk-in closet and pulled out some clothes for us.
When I came back out, she was still standing where I had left her.
She looked so small then, I was afraid that the slightest pressure from me and she’d break.
What am I going to do with you?
I walked over to her and set the clothes down on the bed.
Slowly, I reached for her towel and pulled it off her. She shivered from the cold air, and I moved quickly, helping her put some clothes back on. Her face popped out when I pulled the shirt down over her head. I pushed some of the wet strands of hair away from her face.
“Okay?” I asked.
She offered me a small smile, and I could feel myself relaxing a little from the sight. “You know, I could put the clothes on myself.”
I lowered my hands to the hem of her shirt, adjusting it slightly. “I know. But I like doing these things for you.”
She didn’t respond to that right away. Then, “Yeah?”
I nodded without hesitation. “Yes.”
And wasn’t that the truth? I didn’t usually have to show this kind of care with my former bedmates , but mostly because they knew what the score was, and what kind of relationship it was.
Isa was different. There was a fragility in her that I wanted to protect. That I needed to protect.
I turned and pulled on my own clothes before moving us onto the bed and turning off the lamp on the bedside table, bathing the room in near darkness.
Isa stayed on one side of the bed while I stayed on the other. There were probably no more than a few inches that separated her body from mine, but we might as well have been oceans apart, considering how tense she felt.
I didn’t want to push too hard too fast and make her uncomfortable, but perhaps that was the wrong move here.
I turned toward her and snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her in tightly against me. She let out a small squeak in surprise, and I tightened my hold on her.
It took about three long seconds before she finally relaxed into me, burying her face into my chest.
I counted her breaths.
Doing what I did, living the life that I did, I knew better than most men just how fleeting life could be.
I never much cared about my own life. I made peace with my mortality a long time ago, even if I did worry about something happening to my loved ones.
But Isa…
I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head.
I didn’t want anything to happen to her. I wanted her to have a long, beautiful life. One where her hair would turn white completely, and her skin would wrinkle, and if I were lucky enough, one where I could witness it happening.
But my life was unpredictable.
Was it selfish of me to bring her further into it?
I knew Valentino had been working quietly on the side, trying to find a way to get her as far away from this life as he could.
She wouldn’t be able to completely separate herself from it.
It wasn’t possible. She never asked for it, but she was born the daughter of a made man.
There were risks in letting wives and daughters of made men leave the life, even if they didn’t know much about the inner workings of our organization. They knew enough.
Massimo would never allow her to leave this world. Once you’re in, by choice, blood, or marriage, you stay in, no matter what.
That didn’t mean Valentino wasn’t still trying to find a way. It was one of the reasons why he was holding off on setting her up with an arranged marriage. That, and he didn’t think anyone was good enough for her.
I agreed with him. No other bastards were good enough. I wasn’t either. I fucking knew that.
If I were a better friend, a better man, I would help him.
I took a deep breath.
It would kill me to see another man touching her. And I would kill the unlucky bastard for touching her.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly, her voice slightly muffled in my shirt.
“Yes,” I answered, pulling her in closer to me. Fuck, it wasn’t enough. Any distance between us was too big a distance, and I wanted to eliminate it all. I wanted to be deep inside her.
“Go to sleep, baby,” I said. “I’ll be here to protect you.”
She let out a soft sigh I almost didn’t hear. “I know.”