16. Isa
ISA
I used the front door to exit the house. No one was home, so there was no need to sneak out in my usual way by climbing down the huge oak tree just by the window.
Dad was out.
I didn’t know where he went, and it wasn’t like he would have told me if I asked him.
Everything was quiet and still. I hadn’t expected there to be any noise around the neighborhood at this time.
Elio was waiting by the car in front of the house. He didn’t park in his usual spot but closer. I felt a smile tugging at my lips at the sight of him, even as my heart sped, and butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach.
God, he was beautiful.
Tonight, he wore a fitted black shirt that accentuated his bulky form, dark blue jeans, and his hair was up in its usual man bun, making his sharp, masculine jawline more prominent.
I couldn’t see his eyes clearly, but I imagined the brown irises were twinkling mischievously at me based on his smile.
I didn’t think there would ever be a time when I wasn’t affected by his smile.
He motioned for me to come to him.
I ran.
He held out his arms for me like I knew he would, and I flew into them, feeling more settled than I have in days.
I used to think the safest place in the world for me was Valentino’s apartment. I was wrong. The safest place for me was in Elio’s arms. Here, I was safe. I was protected. And I was cherished. What more could I possibly ask for?
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. I was getting bold with him.
Or perhaps, I was just too addicted to his kiss to give my shyness any thought.
He kissed me back like I knew he would, and I deepened it, savoring the taste of him. I pulled away first.
“Hi,” I said, looking up into his eyes.
“Hi, baby. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I answered, trying not to show just how excited I was about going on another date with him. Being like this with him felt the way it did when I realized I liked him as a teenager.
It was intense and all-consuming, like most feelings I’d experienced as a teenager.
I hadn’t felt this level of intensity since I hit adulthood and realized what it actually meant to grow up in the Gambino household.
He made me feel like a teenager again.
Elio wrapped his arms around my waist and led me over to his car, a black compact that I didn’t know the make or model of.
“No truck tonight?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. I usually don’t like to drive the truck.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not as fast as my other cars. It carries too much weight.” He opened the door and gently pushed me inside. I looked around at the sleek, clean interior as Elio jumped into the driver’s seat.
And then we were off.
“Where are we going?” I asked once he pulled out of the neighborhood.
He glanced briefly at me. “Dancing.”
I couldn’t help the amusement in my voice when I repeated, “Dancing?”
Elio was a lot of things. Fiercely protective. Serious and thoughtful. Loyal and intelligent. And just about the sexiest man I had ever met. But a dancer?
“You find that funny?” he asked lightly.
“I just can’t imagine you dancing,” I said with a laugh. I tried to think of him doing the floss dance. I laughed harder at the image.
“Ha ha.” He poked my side before admitting, “I’m not much of a dancer. But I thought you might enjoy it.”
I flipped my hair to the side. “You’re in luck. I’m a fantastic dancer.”
He didn’t agree with me right away.
I flicked his shoulder.
“Of course. How could my baby be bad at anything?”
“Why do I think you’re just humoring me at this point?” I asked dryly. I’d show him. He could just wait and see.
“Of course not.” He brought the car to a stop at a red light and pulled me in closer to him, pressing his lips against mine in a hard but quick kiss that left me reeling and almost forgetting about what we were talking about.
“I haven’t been on many dates,” I admitted after he drove off at the green light.
He didn’t say anything right away, so I rambled on, “I mean, I went on a few in college, but Tommaso was always there, you know? I don’t think that constitutes a date.
And I went on a few blind dates when my dad thought he was in charge of setting up an arranged marriage for me. And then there was the one with you…”
I trailed off, wishing someone would stop me from talking.
Elio was quiet, as if taking in my words. He probably felt sorry for me, which was the last thing I wanted.
Sure enough, he responded with, “I’m sorry, baby. I wish there was something I could have done to change that for you.”
I shrugged. It was what it was. There was no changing it.
“I haven’t been on many dates either,” he said.
I grimaced. I knew he was saying that to make me feel better about my pathetic confession, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
I hadn’t been on many dates—actual dates where I was alone with a boy—because Dad would never allow it.
Elio hadn’t been on many dates because he probably wasn’t interested in dating.
I didn’t think I had ever seen him with a girlfriend.
But he had hooked up. With lots of women, I was sure.
I looked out the window. A minute passed when I felt Elio’s hand on my lap. I turned to him.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he softly demanded.
“How many women have you slept with?”
The car swerved a little, and Elio looked back at the road. I waited for him to tell me, but the longer he went without answering, the more I started to wonder if he was counting in his head and hadn’t reached the number yet.
“I don’t keep count,” he said finally.
“Right.”
“Does it bother you?”
I shrugged. His past was his past. I wasn’t going to judge him based on the things he had done before we got together. Yet, there was a part of me that didn’t feel too good about this.
“I don’t like that other women out there have gotten a part of you,” I answered truthfully.
“Baby. You’re wrong.”
“I am?”
“Yes. They don’t have anything of mine. They never did. It was mostly physical. There might have been some affection, but nowhere near how I am feeling about you now.”
“Really?” I whispered, wanting so badly for it to be true, even if it was hard to believe. What could I have possibly offered him that they couldn’t?
“Really. Don’t ever doubt that or doubt me.”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if he saw. I wanted to say confidently that I didn’t doubt him, but there was a part of me, no matter how small or insignificant, that doubted. And I didn’t know how to turn it off.
I love you.
The three words popped unbidden in my mind.
That was the problem.
I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same.
He might like me. There was affection, I was sure of it. But love?
He grabbed my hand in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of it. I could feel my heart settling a bit from the move. I turned and smiled at him.
“Fuck,” he said. “Is it bad that I just want to take you home and fuck you until you pass out from exhaustion?”
My breath caught from his words, and I could feel the familiar pounding ache in my center forming.
Hell.
He smiled at me, bringing his hand up to my mouth. “Open.”
I did as he asked and opened my mouth. He plopped his thumb inside.
Hell.
“Suck.”
I sucked on it, feeling the move all the way down to my clit. I could feel my panties getting wet, and I rubbed my legs together.
He pulled his thumb away, and I felt instantly empty. “Baby, we need to get you on birth control. I don’t want to feel anything between us.”
I looked at him. “I’m already on birth control.”
“Seriously?”
I smiled and nodded at the tone in his voice, half surprised and half incredulous. “Seriously.”
“Fuck, you are killing me,” he said just as he pulled into what looked like a country bar.
I glanced up at the neon glowing light, from the name Country Rose flashing to a symbol of a cowboy lassoing a rope. The light made it look like the rope was extending out, then coming back in a flash.
“Sure we can’t go home?” Elio asked, his voice strained.
I laughed and shook my head. “We’re already here. Come on. I want to see you dance.”
“Baby, I’m not dancing.”
“We’ll see,” I said.
He shot me a pointed look and got out of the car. I waited for him to come over to my side, knowing he wouldn’t want me to get out until he could assess the surroundings first.
Elio came over and opened my door, holding out his hand for me. I took it and let him pull me up.
We didn’t say anything.
Just stood there and stared at each other, the tension palpable.
I love you.
I wondered if he could read the words in my eyes. He blinked and pulled away first.
“Let’s go, baby.”
I nodded as he grabbed my hand. Inside, it looked like a fancy barnyard.
There were strings of light everywhere, with bales of hay taking up some of the corners. The bar top was positioned at the very back, with tables scattered throughout the space. But what drew my attention was the huge dance platform that took up most of the center.
There were a decent number of people here.
Elio pointed to an empty table that a group of three men had just left. “Go sit down. I’ll grab us some beers.”
I smiled and moved over to the table, climbed up onto the chair, and looked around. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, some dancing, while others sang along to the country music playing on the speakers.
This was all so… normal.
And I was enjoying it all, taking it in.
A couple danced close to where I was sitting, the woman laughing as her partner twirled her in a practiced move.
They were also wearing matching red plaid shirts, jeans, and cowboy boots.
It was cute. The man winked at me when he caught me staring at them.
I couldn’t help smiling at their obvious happiness, the way they moved together without hesitation.
“What's that look for?” Elio’s deep voice cut through my thoughts as he set two bottles on the table and slid into the chair beside me. I turned to look at him, wondering if I could convince him to wear matching outfits with me.