Chapter 3
It was a warm summer day, the sky was bright and blue, the clouds white and puffy. Students laid out blankets in the grass, chatted and studied and laughed.
Rue was miserable.
Not because he was watching groups of them from the fourth-floor window of the science building, or because they were getting their grades for a major project back today and he already knew the professor hated his guts.
No, Rue was feeling anxious and sick to his stomach because of breakfast.
Because of how he’d woken up itchy and covered in release again.
He’d experienced wet dreams in the past, of course, back when he’d been a teenager going through the starts of puberty. But he was twenty-one now, and while the occasional come stain was probably to be expected, he highly doubted it should be happening this frequently.
Or this well timed.
Rue only seemed to have to change the sheets when his body was aware that Ryker was sleeping just down the hall.
“A whole week?” Lenore hummed in thought in the seat directly in front of him. She was twirling a stylus and looking to Bowie, silently asking his thoughts on the matter.
They’d just been told about the retreat and invited along. Rue was prepared to beg them even. The thought of being alone, on a mountain in the middle of a dense forest, with Ryker of all people made Rue want to throw up.
If only things could be like they used to.
If only he could go back and start over…
Three years ago, Rue had been living off a high, believing he’d lost his virginity to the man of his dreams.
At night, the memories still haunted him. The way it’d felt to be held close. The burn of being penetrated, followed by bursts of pleasure that had made him see Light.
Ryker had been so gentle that night. Patient.
Had taken the time to open Rue’s body up for him, the two of them laid out beneath the stars, hidden in the rose garden.
The Black Hart had taken him slow and deep, his warm breaths ghosting across Rue’s nape.
It’d been dark, neither of them daring to turn on a light even though none of the guards patrolled that far back on the property.
At the time, Rue had found it romantic.
Now he knew he’d been a fool.
Having grown up together, Rue had always prided himself on his ability to differentiate between the Hart twins.
That night had been an exception.
A horrible, terrible mistake made by a lust addled mind and the yearning for mystery.
He’d thought it was hot, the two of them sneaking off together, experiencing their first time surrounded by flowers and crickets.
Fireflies dancing around full blooms and thick foliage, while the Black Hart had filled him with solid steel and taken his breath away.
The wrong Black Hart.
Three years ago, Rue had started a day, much like this one, excited.
And had ended it broken and alone.
They may be identical in every sense of the word, so much so even their father had struggled to tell them apart. But Rue had always known.
For him, it’d always been Ryker.
When he’d stripped out of his clothing and laid himself out on the grass like an offering, it’d been for Ryker.
When he’d moaned, and willed his body to relax as it was taken for the first time, that had been for Ryker.
Imagine his shock when the very next day Ryder had looked him in the eye and confessed that it’d been him instead.
Him pinning Rue down with his toned body.
Him pumping him full of his cock.
Him coming inside, weight settled over Rue’s back for minutes afterward to ensure he didn’t lose a single drop.
The event he’d once thought romantic turned tragic in an instant, and the worst part was, Rue had hurt them all because of it.
Ryder had thought he’d known the whole time.
Rue had not.
He’d turned him down and fled, unable to handle the revelation. That’d been the last time he’d seen Ryder Hart. The last time they’d spoken.
And Rue had spent the whole conversation, not concerned for Ryder’s feelings, but for his own.
He’d feared how Ryker would react when he found out. Thought for sure his mistake had cost him everything. In a way it had.
Ryker hated him.
Rue deserved it.
“Do you have to go?” Bowie asked, cutting into Rue’s wallowing and bringing him back to the present. “You don’t have anything to do with that company.”
“Rhys expects me to work there,” Rue revealed, shrugging when his friends both made faces.
“You’re a sound engineer,” Lenore pointed out.
“What would you do at a tech company?” Bowie frowned.
“Make jingles?” He shook his head. “Who knows.”
“Why are you so calm about this?” Lenore asked.
“Because there’s no way he’s going to really do it,” Bowie said. “Right?”
“I sort of owe them.” Rue hung his head.
“Bullshit,” his friend argued. “You don’t owe them crap.”
“Vadim,” a voice called out a moment before a tall man rapped his knuckles against the edge of Rue’s desk. “Looking forward to the retreat?”
Rue stared at Penn Augustine, reminded of yet another reason not to want to go on this business trip.
Penn was the son of one of the members of the board.
He’d probably been on a dozen of these trips already, and was no doubt here to lord it over Rue.
The animosity between them wasn’t a secret.
Before Rue had fallen from grace, the guy had kissed his ass every bit as much as he did every other Black Hart, but now he seemed bitter.
He was jealous that Rue had the opportunity to be something he never could, and yet Rue was actively giving that chance away.
Many didn’t understand his refusal to move into Castle Black, the building on campus where the Black Harts called their home. There was an entire floor in said building with Rue’s proverbial name on it, but he’d opted to remain at Hart estate, commuting to and from university.
Station and power had never mattered to Rue, and even if those things had, avoiding Ryker took precedence over everything else.
Still, his refusal to accept that position meant rejecting the Black Heart title and all the perks that came along with it, like the forced—and often times faked—respect of people like Penn.
“I’m the one who recommended the lodge to my mom,” Penn continued. “They’re cutting down the staff to ensure we can all enjoy ourselves without a million strangers roaming about, and they have a ton of outdoor activities. I heard you used to be good with a gun.”
“Who’d you hear that from?” Lenore asked, but was promptly ignored.
“What do you say?” Penn smirked, the look dirty. “Dare to come out hunting with us?” His gaze swept down Rue’s body, but not in an appraising way. “If you run fast enough, I bet you can make it out of the woods alive.”
“Did you seriously just threaten to shoot him?” Bowie stood. “In broad daylight?”
“Come on. Take a joke.”
“No one believes you were joking,” Lenore stated, and this time Penn snorted at her.
“Like it matters what people like you believe.”
“What—” Bowie clamped his mouth shut the second the professor entered the room. He glared as Penn winked and went to take his seat on the other side of the classroom, slowly lowering down into his chair. “Forget about him, Rue.”
“Yeah, and don’t worry,” Lenore added comfortingly, “we’ll both be there.”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Bowie agreed.
Rue smiled at them, then settled in for the lecture.
He ended up spacing out for most of it, mind caught up on roses and messy sheets and the look on Ryder’s face when Rue had told him he didn’t like him back.
An hour and a half passed in a blur, and it wasn’t until students were standing and gathering their things that Rue realized everyone had received their project papers back except for him.
“What do you feel like for lunch?” Bowie asked, swinging his backpack over a shoulder.
“Go on ahead,” Rue said. “I have to speak with the professor first.” He didn’t wait for him or Lenore to reply, darting to the front of the classroom before the older man in the wire rim glasses could leave before he got the chance to talk to him. “Professor Rain.”
“What is it, Mr. Vadim?” The professor continued placing his items into his bag.
“I didn’t get my project back.”
“That’s because I never received it from you.”
Rue stared at him, momentarily confused before insisting, “I handed it to you on the due date. You looked me in the eye and thanked me.”
Professor Rain sighed and set the tablet he’d been holding down on the podium, then gave him a stern look. “Are you insinuating that I’m lying to you?”
“No, I just—”
“I do not have your project, Mr. Vadim, which means you will be receiving a failing grade. Instead of blaming me, maybe you should take this opportunity to consider the mistakes you’ve made.”
“Excuse me?” Rue’s brow furrowed. “I handed it in. We both know that I did. Why—”
“When you see your stepbrother, please tell him that letter of recommendation he requested has been sent out.” Professor Rain stared at him pointedly.
Oh.
The professor nodded. “I see you’ve finally gotten it. Then I believe we’re done here. Good day, Mr. Vadim.”
Ryker.
The Black Harts had full control over the school. If Ryker ordered Professor Rain to lose his project, there was nothing the professor could do but follow the command. Rumor was Ryker was a particularly cruel Black Hart to boot, and with his temper, Rue believed it.
For a minute he debated whether or not to confront him over it, but concluded against it. If Ryker wanted to mess with his university grades let him. If Rue ended up failing, at least that would mean he didn’t have to join Hart Holdings like Rhys and his mother expected.
Rue collected his things and then left, decided to skip lunch and head to the music building instead.
He needed to clear his head, and the best way to do that was to throw himself into his major.
While he was currently focused on sound engineering, his true goal was to become a producer.
Most of his time was spent in the recording rooms.