14. Ember #3
He attempts to sit upright, huffing when he can’t move more than an inch or so. I lean into Warner’s strong arm, his fingers still gripping my shoulder, as my built-up sobs refuse to ease up now that they’ve found an escape route.
Tom stares at me with bloodshot eyes, appearing bewildered by my unexpected breakdown. I’ve never been the one to sit and fall apart. Not even when our mother died. I can’t decide if he looks happy or disturbed by this new me.
“Breathe.” Warner attempts to soothe me, gently holding me through the painful sobs. “Tom’s here now. He’s home, and everything is going to be okay. You can let it all out.”
“It’s all my fault…”
“None of this is your fault,” Tom wheezes out. “Christ, Em. How can I fix this?”
“No!” I erupt through my tears. “You almost died! I d-did this. I’m the reason you’re here.”
“I’m back now. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Taking his papery hand in mine, I hold it tight while leaning back into Warner’s chest. Emotion like I’ve never experienced before overwhelms me as the sheer exhaustion of the past few weeks takes over, leaving me exposed and defenceless.
All the times I’ve swallowed my terror and plastered on a faux mask leave me sitting in the rubble of the person I once was. I’m not the numb, embattled girl who picked her brother up off the floor or strolled into the fighting ring despite her terror. Not anymore.
Is that a good thing?
I have absolutely no idea.
With my brother’s fingers curled around mine and Warner’s unshakeable strength keeping me upright, I can let those ashes scatter. The sensation of being stripped bare is acute. All the armour that’s kept me alive can’t hold up against my turmoil.
“She’ll be okay.” I hear Warner whisper over my lowered head. “A lot has happened recently.”
“I hardly remember anything after they broke into my apartment.” Tom’s audible uncertainty breaks my heart. “It’s all a blur.”
“Luis called Ember while he… he was beating you.” Warner sounds distinctly uncomfortable, barely holding in his contempt. “He threatened Ember with your death if she didn’t surrender.”
“Shit! That evil bastard.”
“When we tracked you down, Carlos Morello was waiting. Ember pretended to surrender to him long enough to secure your freedom. She got us all out of there, Tom. But it was a bloodbath.”
Tom spits out another shocked curse.
“Ember saved our lives.” Warner pecks the top of my head. “She’s incredible.”
Sucking in air, I look up to find Tom eyeing me like I’m an exotic creature he’s never seen before. The fading bruises across my face twinge when I scrub tears aside to regain some composure.
“Sorry,” I choke out. “It’s been a long few weeks.”
“Are you okay?”
Tom’s concern for me is a living, breathing entity, filling up the room.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one who got kidnapped.”
“I’m asking you,” he says sternly. “You’re the one he was trying to break. So are you okay?”
“Honestly, not even remotely. I don’t think any of us are. But that’s a problem for tomorrow.”
After Tom adjusts the nozzles slotted into his nostrils, hooked up to the still-flowing oxygen machine, I reach for the water on his bedside table. He takes a sip when I fill the plastic cup and hold it to his lips. My hand quivers while returning it to the table.
“How’d you find me?” Tom’s gaze flits between us.
“Blaine Madden tracked down an old suspect from the Briar Valley case,” Warner explains. “He gave us intel. It seems our past is a lot more connected to this mess than we thought.”
Tom licks his cracked lips. “Carlos… He… He was talking to Gael on the phone. I watched them drag Luis away unconscious before I was locked up again.”
“Apparently, he’s dead now.” I watch Warner carefully weighing how much to reveal. “So is Carlos Morello and all of Gael’s men.”
“All of them?” His red eyes widen.
“It’s a long story.”
“Bloody hell. Who was hurt?”
“You don’t need to worry about any of this right now.” Warner releases me to stand and lightly clasp Tom’s shoulder. “The case is under control.”
“Gael won’t ever stop.” Tom winces against his white pillows. “Not until he has Ember back under his thumb. If Carlos is dead… then someone else will take his place.”
“We know.” Warner nods. “Gael has already made contact to continue taunting us. We’re putting pressure on the feds to locate his estate while we chase new leads.”
“What new leads?”
“No.” I hold up a hand. “Warner’s right, that’s enough. You need to focus on healing, Tom. Not me and not the case.”
“Em—”
“No! Enough! I won’t lose you too.”
Making eye contact with Warner, I jerk my head towards the door, indicating for him to go get Jamie. He nods then quickly slips out, giving us a moment of privacy.
“I need to get out of here.” Tom tugs on the wire taped inside his elbow. “With Carlos dead, he’s going to come at us hard. Gael’s obsessed. He’s fanatical. He won’t rest until?—”
“Stop right there.”
“You don’t understand! You’re in danger!”
I carefully pin his arm to the bed, easing his fingers from the IV line. “You’re going to lay here, let the doctors take care of you and heal. That’s it.”
“London isn’t safe. I need to protect you!”
“I have the entire weight of Sabre Security behind me,” I reason calmly. “While I may be a bit of a mess right now, I’m okay. You’re safe. Carlos is dead. We’re making progress.”
“It’s my job to protect you,” he wheezes through agonised gasps. “Look at you, Em! You’re covered in bruises. You’ve lost weight, and I… I have to…”
“Stop worrying about me. I need you to get better. Warner and the rest of the team have got me. Trust them, okay?”
The fight seems to drain out of him as his meagre energy depletes. Tom slumps, his near-translucent skin seeming even paler. I fuss over him, straightening wires and bedsheets, until Warner’s lopsided steps return.
“Look who’s here,” he chirps.
Staring off behind me, Tom’s eyes fill with tears again. “Oh, Jamie.”
“Tom! You’re awake!”
I move aside to let the couple reunite, sharing a happy smile with my brother’s boyfriend. He’s still drop-dead gorgeous, elegantly dressed in his pressed polo shirt and glittering watch that’s undoubtedly worth a small fortune. That much hasn’t changed.
Jamie’s at the bed in a flash, pulling Tom into a tentative hug to avoid his injuries. Both of them crying, I take my cue to give them a moment, catching Warner’s hand and leaving the hospital room.
Axel jerks upright where he’s leaning against the wall in the corridor. He watches me collapse into Warner’s arms, unable to hold it together for a moment longer. I nestle my chin on his shoulder and stare into Axel’s whiskey-orange orbs.
“Okay?” he mouths.
All I can give is a wordless, watery smile.
“Yep. Stupid question, right?”
Axel moves to my back, easily snuggling into me to cradle my body close. Warner doesn’t utter a complaint as his chin rests atop my head, pressing a soft kiss into my hair while his teammate makes my bones creak.
“That was more intense than I was prepared for.”
“Tom’s going to be fine,” Warner assures me.
“And so are you,” Axel adds. “We’re here, dimples.”
Melting between their stacked muscles, I take the free comfort. Every last ounce of it. The reassurance that old Ember never would’ve allowed herself. She falls to her knees in the shadowy crevices of my mind, relegated to the sidelines after years of taking centre stage.
Without her stubbornness holding me back, I can allow the safety of my men to hold me firm instead. They’re driving me forward now. Giving me love, safety and acceptance. They’re my home.
With that, I let myself break.
Safe in the knowledge that they’ll put me back together again.