Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Rowan tamped down the anxious roll of her gut and followed Bodie inside.
She’d meant what she’d said. Despite the fatigue tensing her shoulders, the lack of sleep for the past few days — hell, the past couple years — she needed to get a sense of what they were up against. If the risks they’d taken tonight had been worth it.
She gazed the length of Bodie. He looked strong, unyielding, and she couldn’t stop her stomach from clenching in another way.
The kind that felt dangerously intimate.
How she’d felt when he’d cornered her this morning, told her she’d kissed him in her sleep.
What she’d been dying to repeat but hadn’t found the right time.
Not that one would crop up anytime soon, especially with Dalton and Buck no more than a few feet away, though, Buck seemed determined to get them together.
Bodie held the door, and they headed for his office, Buck and Dalton each taking a file as she spread hers out across Bodie’s desk. Her father’s photo stared up at her, his vacant eyes nearly taking her to the floor.
Two years.
Held captive in some kind of facility having god knew what done to him, and she hadn’t found him. Had been wasting time dealing with bureaucratic red tape instead of busting down doors, taking risks.
Bodie shouldered up beside her, one hand landing on her hip. As if he couldn’t stand that close without touching her. “You okay?”
She brushed her fingers over her dad’s image. “He never would have left me to rot in some cell.”
“You didn’t even know he was alive.”
“But I questioned his death. Knew something was off.” She kicked at the floor. “I should have done more.”
He balked. “What more could you have done? You’ve been working the case since he vanished. Since everyone told you he was dead. It didn’t matter that you were alone. Outmanned. Outgunned.” Bodie stood his ground. “No one can ask for more than that.”
Rowan’s chin quivered, tears burning her eyes as she ripped his photo off the folder, held it out to Bodie. “I’m sure that’ll be a comfort to him. That I tried but failed.”
“Rowan.” Dalton’s voice rang through the room. Low. Haunted.
She looked over at Dalton, inhaling at the firm press of his mouth. The deep shadows in his eyes. Like a man who’d lived the nightmares playing in her head.
Dalton moved closer. “Take it from someone who’s been there.
Who’s lived it and walked out the other side.
Scarred but alive. It’s never too late. And knowing that you risked everything, regardless of how long it took, will mean more to your father than you can imagine.
” He crossed his arms over his massive chest. “We’ll get him back, and it’ll be because you never lost faith. Kept searching for the truth.”
His words hit home, and she closed her eyes against the rush of tears.
The pain that bubbled up through her chest. Bodie mumbled something in the background, then pulled her tight to his chest, one hand fisted in her hair, the other wrapped around her waist. He didn’t talk, just held her, his warmth lifting the chill from her bones.
His strength slowly building her back up.
She took a few shuddering breaths, stared up at him when he eased back, brushed his thumb across her cheek. He smiled, and her damn breath caught, heart beating too fast, too hard.
Bodie stayed close, hand still resting on her hip. “Dalton’s right. We’ll get Alister back. And you saved us in the process, so… Cut yourself some slack.”
She leaned into his touch for a moment, then drew herself up. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came. Instead, she nodded, turned back to the file.
The room fell into a hushed silence, the odd rustle of paper and the whirl of the computer occasionally breaking it. A reminder of all the work they still needed to do. All the unanswered questions standing between success and more failure.
The minutes bled into hours until Bodie’s hand landed on her shoulder. He stared down at the pages. “Any luck?”
She sighed, leaned against the edge. “It’s mostly medical information.
Height. Weight. Cognitive function. I honestly don’t even understand half of it.
But nothing about where this hospital’s located.
What they actually did to him — to other test subjects — that isn’t written in some kind of code, though, if I’m interpreting any of it correctly, it sounds like they considered the experiment a success, which doesn’t bode well.
There’s a set of initials all over the medical orders — M.
W. Not exactly earth shattering, but with Nick’s help, it might narrow down our list of possible suspects.
” She nodded at the hard drive. “Did you have better luck?”
He shook his head. “The unencrypted files are basically a duplicate of the paper ones. Neuravive comes up a lot. I think it’s our miracle drug, along with an agent called Lethe or LETH-1 toxin.
Definitely sounds like the alter ego you thought might be in play and could be that L liquid we saw in the cooler.
There’re also a couple of videos, but it’ll take a few more hours for my program to unscramble them.
They should be ready sometime tomorrow. If you think you’re okay watching them. ”
“I need to know what they did. If he’s still…” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Whether it hurts or not, I need to know.”
Bodie nodded, glanced over at Dalton and Buck. “It’s late, and I’m at the point I’m just staring at the same words without even reading them. We need to get some rest. Come back strong in the morning. With any luck, Nick’ll have some intel, too.”
She started to protest, to insist she could keep going, until she took a moment to really look at Bodie and his buddies. Fatigue lined their brows, grime from the facility still caked on their skin. “You’re right. It’s late. And thanks. For everything. What you all did for me tonight…”
“We’re a team. That’s what partners do.”
Buck cleared his throat, a smug smile tilting his lips.
As if he’d been vindicated somehow. “Dalton’s hanging with me tonight.
I parked my RV behind the building. We’ll do some patrols, keep watch.
I’ve set up some charges, too, in case anyone comes looking.
And before you ask, no, they won’t hurt anyone.
Just a warning system. We’ll see you two in the morning. ”
“We can all take turns…” Rowan let her words fade as Buck and Dalton waved her off, disappeared through the door, the exterior exit opening and closing in the distance. She sighed. “Is there something in the water here? Because I swear, you’re all nuts.”
Bodie chuckled. “Maybe that’s why you fit in so well. C’mon.”
She followed Bodie as he checked his security, then headed upstairs to his loft. Soft warm lighting brightened the space, a subtle vanilla aroma drifting through the air. She kicked off her boots as he rearmed his security system, then made her way over to the kitchen.
Bodie moved in behind her, tsking when she grabbed the coffee pot. “You’re supposed to be going to bed, to rest, remember?”
She tamped down the rush of images — some from the files, others she’d created in her head. What she knew would lead to more nightmares. “I’ll go, I just…”
“Just what?”
She turned, nearly bumping into his chest as he crowded closer, making the room seem small, overly hot. “I need a moment.”
He leaned in, his mouth a breath from hers. “You’ve done everything you could. I know it doesn’t feel like enough, but we wouldn’t be here — hell, be alive — if you hadn’t kept digging. If you hadn’t been out there that day.”
“So, why does it still feel like I failed?”
He brushed his thumb across her jaw. “Because it involves someone you love.”
His words lingered between them, and she wondered if she’d ever loved anyone other than her father? If all the time she’d spent alone, basically raising herself while he was deployed or overseas, had closed her off. Left her unable to let anyone else in.
She lifted her hand, palmed his jaw. “Bodie…”
His smile kicked up another notch, made the rest of the room seem dim. “Rowan.”
She snagged her bottom lip, his low gravelly voice washing over her, then inched closer. “You kissed me on top of that roof.”
His eyes crinkled a bit around the corners. “When that pipe cracked…” He swallowed. Hard. “Am I crazy or is there something…”
She flexed her fingers against his jaw, his previous scruff more of a full-on beard, now. “Special?”
He chuckled. “I was going to say magical, but that makes me sound crazy, just like you said.” He blew out a slow breath.
“It’s not as if I haven’t always thought you were smart, and fierce, and so damn beautiful it made it feel as if the world had stopped spinning.
Stood still so I could just drink you in.
And I’d been working up the courage to ask you out when things went sideways here.
Then, I only ever saw you a few times on rescues, and… ”
His voice faded as if he wasn’t quite sure how to finish the statement.
She brushed her thumb the length of his jaw. “You were working up the courage?”
“Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but the looks, the intelligence, the skill… It’s a bit intimidating.
But when I ran through that waterfall, saw you standing there, it was like the universe gave me a kick in the ass.
Made me wonder what the hell I was waiting for because we only get so many second chances. ”
Some of her doubts eased. “Is this the part where I confess, I’ve been crushing on you since the day we met? That rescue in Clatsop a couple years ago?” She held his gaze. “But you always seemed so determined. So focused. I figured a guy that put together had to have someone waiting at home.”
“I believe the phrase most women use is, too military for anything serious.”
She frowned. “Is that even possible?”
“You tell me.”
“I think you’re the right amount. Any less, and I’d be dead.” She tilted her head to the side, judging his reaction. “I’m not asleep, this time. And, at least for right now, there aren’t any men with guns. It’s just us, so…”
That was all the encouragement he seemed to need as his fingers slid back along her jaw, curling around her hair as he stepped fully into her — pinned her to the counter, his mouth slanting over hers.
Definitely magical.
Her stomach trembled as everything sped up, jumped into overdrive from the simple press of his mouth on hers. She groaned, and he reacted. Tilted her head back, deepened the kiss. Drew it out until black dots flickered behind her closed eyes.
He finally eased up long enough to tug her against his chest, walk them backward.
He stopped when he reached the couch, kissing her again.
Longer. Harder. She lost herself in his touch, the way he moaned as if he couldn’t get enough of the way she tasted, only to realize they’d made their way onto the couch.
That she’d gone from standing to straddling him.
Rowan inhaled, pulled back, her hair falling around them, heart thrashing. She glanced at his leg, grunted, swatting at his hand when he tried to drag her back. “Are you high? Your leg.”
Bodie twisted his hand in her hair, led her back without even tugging. “What leg?”
Another several minutes lost in his mouth. In the way his fingers moved across her back, finally resting on her ass. She sucked in a deep breath, wondering if she’d ever wanted a guy like this. If she’d ever been this far gone.
She nuzzled against his hand as he palmed her cheek. “Bodie.”
He laughed. “Trust me. My leg’s fine. I’m not in pain.”
“But you will be, once the endorphins wear off. You need a few more days, especially if you insist on running and kicking people’s asses.” She shifted, settled beside him. “Covering me when bullets start flying. That’s insane, by the way.”
“You mean, the same way you’ve taken all the risks to keep me and my buddies alive?”
She leaned against him, kissed her way across his jaw. “You’re worth it.” She pressed her lips to his, stayed that way for another ten minutes before easing away, running her thumb along his mouth. “I…”
He shushed her. “We don’t have to rush this. Take it any farther until you’re ready. Especially if I get to keep kissing you.”
Her chin quivered. “It’s not that I don’t…”
“This is new territory for me, too. And you’re worth fighting for.” He grabbed the blanket like he had last night, laid it over them. “Sleep. I’ll hold you.” He kissed her temple. “No nightmares for either of us. Okay?”
She burrowed against him, heart still tapping triple time, insides jumping. She didn’t believe in fate or love at first sight, but this…
This felt like something worthy of her faith. The kind of beginning that ended with the rest of her life.