S E V E N First Date
S I X: Check-ins.
Raven’s POV
He checked in.
Once a week.
I wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t expecting to, just wanted to see how we were doing.
Over the next six months, since the divorce was finalized, I sold the house, which we owned jointly.
I gave him half the proceeds, via Jefferson, of course.
I wanted nothing more to do with Matthew.
The sooner we could cut the cord, the better.
All other finances were split a little better than half in my favor.
I had been listening to what Stormi’s boyfriend called ‘angry white girl music’ lately.
Lots of Alanis Morissette, Meredith Brooks, P! NK.
But I was also listening to the music to bring me up, too.
Like Lizzo’s song ‘Truth Hurts’ is hitting hard for me this week after the sale of the house.
Ryder had been putting up with all my ‘girly music’ as he called it.
Poor boy. At least we moved closer to two of his best friends, and their moms were awesome. We all lived in the same development.
We got a housewarming gift when we walked into the house today.
A voice came through the Ring doorbell camera to say, “Hey, Raven! It’s Beck-uh…
” he cleared his throat, “Hacker. I just wanted you to know I had a state-of-the-art security system added to your townhouse. You and Ryder are totally secure.”
A lock sounded, and his voice came over the speaker again, “The front door is unlocked now. I’ll call you later to set it up for thumbprint recognition.”
“Wow. We have a smart house mom!” Ryder shouted as he ran inside. I just stood giggling at my guys. Guy . My little guy .
“Thank you, Beck. I’m looking forward to later,” I smiled at the camera before walking in and shutting the door.
All our stuff had been delivered today from the old house.
I’d spent this past week setting up new closet shelving for us, painting our rooms, and putting together the new furniture, including the bunk bed with a slide.
I knew he was eight already, but I would have loved it until I became a teenager.
It was a close one, with almost not having his room and mine move-in ready by the end of business today.
We spent the next few hours unpacking, organizing, and setting up the necessities for the home.
I had a smile on my face, grabbing the door-dashed Chinese we got for dinner after we realized it was already six-thirty in the evening.
Having this new security system was nice!
I could see who came up to my door as soon as they pulled in the driveway.
It was nice. My phone pinged with another text.
Gosh, I hoped his anxiety wasn’t spiking.
We’d never done a FaceTime call before. I think he was nervous about that, but he’d seen me plenty before.
He could always log into the cameras and see us.
Beck: Are you sure you can do the call tonight?
Beck: It’s okay if you can’t. I know you’re busy. But I know you mentioned earlier that it was supposed to be your weekend off.
I didn’t know how to answer that because he wasn’t answering my texts, and it was already seven on Friday night.
Beck: Please don’t tell me he’s bailing again. I’m sorry if that’s coming across as angry, but I’m so mad for both of you. You both deserve better.
Raven: I was just grabbing food. You know I don’t have my phone on me all the time. lol
I still didn’t know how to answer that. Because the truth was that Matt had been cancelling on Ryder a lot more frequently.
Beck: I know. Just don’t want to put any extra pressure on you. You know you’ve become special to me.
He was so sweet. We’ve been talking as friends since the day he sent me that text.
He helped me anonymously send the proof of Matthew and Karen’s affair to the desk in the office, at work, in various places in the office.
Karen was one of the regional managers, and my ex was up for district manager, meaning they had a superior-subordinate relationship. They were both fired.
Within these last six months, my ex has tried to come back to me multiple times.
Beckam gave me proof that he was still with Karen while trying to get me back.
Not that I would have tried to get back with him.
That was just really gross. But I told Beckam and asked him to see if he was being genuine.
Again. Not that I would take him back, but I was hoping he would at least be around more for Ryder’s sake.
But as soon as I hit him with proof that he was still sleeping with her and texting someone else who wasn’t either Karen or me, he left.
We haven’t seen or heard from him since, and it’s been two months.
Ryder hated it. We were both in therapy to deal with the loss in our own ways. Ryder, dealing with the loss of his dad’s presence in his life. While I was grieving the loss of my marriage and the life I thought I would have, these things happened, right? I knew I would be okay. I had to be.
For myself and for Ryder.
Getting Ryder tucked in, he had his journal, his bedside light on, and he was scribbling away. His dad didn’t come to get him tonight like he was supposed to. He’d been getting more and more moody, more and more angry. He gave me a quick hug and kiss, going right back to writing in his journal.
“Mom?” He asked as I was almost out of his room. I stopped, leaning on the doorframe as I crossed my arms. I felt my eyes and heart soften as I looked at my baby boy.
“What’s up, babe?” I asked, a small smile on my face.
“You said Dad still loves me. Is that still true? Why doesn’t he want to see me anymore?” I give my son a sad look. I don’t know how to answer.
“I don’t know, buddy. I don’t know what he’s thinking, or not thinking.
I want you to be able to form your own opinion about your dad.
But, if you want my honest opinion, I think he’s just lost .
” I said, pursing my lips, wishing I could make it all better for my boy.
I hated that he was hurting during this. It made my mama-heart angry.
And sad.
And hurt. All for my baby. I walked back over, sitting on his bed, and gave him an extra-tight squeeze and a kiss on the head.
“I love you, baby. I will always love you. I’m sorry, I’m not your dad, but we can start doing things you’d do with him if you want.
Whatever will help you.” He looked at me, with tear stains down his cheeks, eyes red-rimmed, and I swear I heard his heart breaking as he looked at me.
I wanted to punch my ex-husband for making our son feel this way.
“Thanks, Mom. That’d be cool.” He smiled at me.
“Just let me know what you want to do, okay, bud? I’m going to bed now. Don’t be up too late writing, okay?” He nodded at me, giving me that little half-smile with a dimple that he got from me. He was looking more and more like his dad every day.