T E N Landing
N I N E: Preparation.
Hacker’s POV
Over the next two months, I worked really hard on getting myself ready to meet Raven and Ryder officially.
I’d met him a couple of times over FaceTime, but nothing more than a hello and a few questions.
He thought it was cool that I worked on computers and that I had a motorcycle.
I showed him, when he asked to see what it looked like and sounded like, one night.
Hades was walking out of the clubhouse when I asked if he’d film me showing Ryder.
He smiled and took the phone from me, flipping the camera around so Raven and Ryder could see me start my bike.
I watched Hades smile, his bright, incredible smile he only showed to Indie and the kids, that I’d seen on security footage, and I knew that Ryder had to be loving it.
So I revved my engine. When his smile touched his eyes, I knew.
And I couldn’t stop the happiness it gave me to see him smile, knowing that the boy I hoped I’d one day be able to call mine was most likely freaking out.
I also introduced Raven to Indie, Willow, and Becca because these were the old ladies of my brothers, and I knew she would most likely hang out with them when they decided to move up here; when she understood how serious I was about her, she decided to get serious about me, too.
Who was I kidding? I only prayed she could be serious about me.
I was in too deep with her already. The day after she said she’d be coming to visit, confirmed their flight information and everything, I asked the old ladies I was comfortable with for help.
I had never really taken much care of my appearance before.
I’d never cared what clothes I wore or what my hair did.
I had been picking up some better habits lately, knowing that I needed to be someone Ryder could look up to, Raven could count on, and someone I could believe in.
I had taken to cleaning up my room and keeping it meticulously clean.
I also aired it out because…well, it fucking smelled like a teenage boy who never did his laundry after sports.
I had basically been a hermit for the decade and a half, trying my best to stay small, in the shadows, and somewhere people couldn’t get to me.
Now, I was thrusting myself into adulthood and trying to be someone dependable.
It was insanely fucking embarrassing. But I was glad to take Indie and Willow’s advice to buy the deep cleaning products, start by opening the windows, and gather all the cloth surfaces to be taken to the laundry.
They offered to help while I knew I needed to toss it all, most likely, and buy new, but they seemed to think it’d be okay.
Becca offered to watch the kids while they helped me deep clean my room, dusting, disinfecting, and bleaching just about every surface.
About halfway through, they tossed the idea of saving the cotton stuff and decided I needed a new mattress, bigger than a twin.
Telling them when I first patched in that I wanted a twin because I didn’t want anyone in my space was the biggest thing I’d ever asked for. It was all I wanted at the time. Now?
I wanted to be a family man. And that required a bigger bed and an updated wardrobe.
Most of my clothes either had grease on them or holes in them.
They were in desperate need of replacement.
They promised to take me shopping the next day to pick out new clothes from this century. That was where we were heading now.
Fucking shopping.
Not where I wanted to be.
Three days later, I was still recovering from two afternoons of shopping with those two.
I had new jeans, black, dark wash, light wash, all different cuts.
I had a shirt in every color and style. Basic t-shirts, button-up t-shirts, and long-sleeved shirts, along with new riding boots, tennis shoes, and slippers.
I had everything I could ever need, clothing-wise, and the second day was for all the ‘little things’ I apparently needed to make the space welcoming, as well as to pick up my new mattress, frame, and all the bedding.
I was relaxing, trying to get used to the new mattress, when she said she and Ryder were looking forward to coming.
She filled me in on the things going on in her life.
Her mom was currently on a date with Jefferson.
That explained how Petey could afford all my services.
I hoped it worked out for them, like I was praying this would work out for Raven and me.
From what Raven had told me, she sounded like an amazing lady.
The more I learned about Raven and Ryder, the deeper I fell for these two.
I really hoped this long weekend they were coming for went well.
I pressed the button on the remote for my bed and lifted the end of it.
It had hydraulics on the frame, so the end of the bed lifted up for storage.
That was going to be where I put some of the hard drives I couldn’t get rid of, so they weren’t taking up a huge part of the room.
I had also decided to store most of my books, extra sheets, and towels in the under-the-bed storage.
Made the room look a little less cluttered after cleaning and downsizing on a lot of things.
I was also getting a new couch that pulled out into a bed for Ryder.
I was going to order sheets he’d like for it when I talked to him tonight.
I wanted to set up a gaming area for us, because he did say he liked to play the ‘old school Mario’, and I couldn’t wait to kick his little behind at this! There wasn’t room for much else in my smaller room. I was only one person, and had been since the day I arrived.
Hell!
I still lived down the prospect’s fucking hall!
None of these rooms had been designed for multiple occupants.
I had a new closet system coming, so I could get rid of the dresser from taking up so much space.
It was a smaller system, but it was perfect for us, and it would give me the extra space needed for the gaming area.
I really wanted to be able to have that for Ryder and me.
I was feeling good about this for the first time in days.
Beck : What kind of sheets would he like? Dinosaurs? Minecraft?
Raven : It doesn’t matter. You really don’t have to go all out.
Beck : If he’s coming or wants to come, I want him to be comfortable here and to feel like I’m excited to have him here.
Which I am. It’s not just you I’m excited to meet.
I feel like I’ve been getting to know both of you all these months.
I’ve already got some navy-blue towels for him. I’d like to do this for him. Please.
The dots appeared and disappeared. Then reappeared. And disappeared again. Finally, she just called me.
“Hey,” she was whispering, and it sounded like she’d been crying, “Sorry. It’s been a long day with Ryder.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, sounding concerned, sitting in my desk chair out of habit, ready to look into whoever, dig up whatever, the only way I knew how to fix things.
“He’s just…well, to be honest, Beckam. He’s really upset because his dad isn’t even attempting to put in half the effort you are with him.
He’s got a lot of big emotions he’s feeling right now,” her voice broke a few times as she tried to tell me, and I couldn’t help but want to destroy that ex of hers even more.
While at the same time, help him to be the dad Ryder needed.
To me, this felt like the last chance I’d promised myself I would give him.
“I get it. He doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to.
He also doesn’t need to do anything he doesn’t want to where I am concerned.
I’m here when he’s ready or willing. It’s not a big deal,” even though it would mean the world to me .
I couldn’t seem to add that last part in, worried I’d somehow let too much of my feelings spill over.
I heard a low, tiny, ‘Can I talk to him?’
“Ryder would like to see you, if that’s—” I held my breath, unable to decipher if this was going to be good or bad. I hit the video call button and waited for it to connect.
“Great! Let me talk to him, please.” I saw the phone shuffling, then it moved between the two of them, and she said something about being nice, before I heard a slightly squeaky “hello?” He kept the camera pointed up, not ready for me to see anything.
“Hey, Ryder! What’s up, buddy?” I tried to keep my tone cheerful and upbeat.
“You can do cool computer stuff, right? Mom said you’re the one who got the proof about my dad?” Poor kid sounded like he’d been screaming; his voice was so rough. I didn’t know how long you had to scream for your voice to sound like gravel, but this kid had been screaming for however long it took.
“I can, and I did,” I draw out, “Where’s this going, man?” I spun around in the computer chair, facing away from the screens, needing to be present in this phone call more than anything else. I needed to understand where he was going with this.
“Well. My dad… he doesn’t want to be around me.
Ever.” His little voice sounded so rough and raw, like this was killing him just saying the words out loud.
And I think it was. I wouldn’t know, because I was thankful to be rid of my egg donor and never knew my dad.
But I could imagine what life would be like without his mom in it.
“I’m sorry, man. That’s rough.” I tried to sympathize with him, but I was genuinely sorry for what he’s going through.
“So, I was wondering,” he paused, still not coming into camera view, “Is there a way that I don’t have to keep seeing him?
Could you find a way for me to just be with my mom?
I don’t want to try with my dad anymore.
It hurts too much, and it’s been almost a whole year of this.
He comes and goes, and makes promises he doesn’t keep.
He forgets about me as soon as I’m off the phone with him.
I’m going to be ten in a month, and I don’t want to do it anymore.
” He didn’t sound angry anymore, just defeated.
I paused, trying to think. I wasn’t a parent, and I didn’t know much about kids other than you respected their boundaries and kept them safe and healthy.
“Does your mom know you feel this way?” He was hesitating to answer, which meant no, but he wasn’t saying. I also took this as him not wanting to lie to me, so I just started talking, rubbing my forehead, trying to think of the right things to say.
“Look, Ryder, I’m not going to tell her I’m helping you with this.
But ,” I said, pausing and holding up a finger, like he was right in front of me, and continued before he had a chance to get too excited about it, “You need her approval to go through with it. I will get the information together, but you have to talk to her before you act on it, deal?”
“Can you help me?” He sounded small again.
“Talk to her?” I asked, staring intently into the screen. The phone started to move, and suddenly, I was face to face with a little boy with red rimmed eyes. He looked at me, pleadingly so.
“If you want me to be there, I will,” I said earnestly.
“Okay. Thanks, Beckam.” He gave me a small smile, and it felt like I was just given the best gift I could have ever received. His smile was everything.
“No problem, buddy. Can I talk to your mom again?” I spun back to face the screens, typing this fuckwad’s name in for what I hoped was the last time ever.
“Sure. Mom!” He shouted, and there went both eardrums. Thank fuck I wasn’t having them here tonight. It would give me time to get my hearing back.
“Sorry about your ears,” Raven said once she came into view on the screen.
“No. No tears.” I chuckled at my very bad joke. And I got a small snicker from her, which seemed to be contagious as I tried to keep a straight face. She was now trying even harder to keep it together.
“Are you laughing at me?” I tried to sound as offended as I could. Which was not at all, as I smiled at her, happy to know she laughed at my horrible joke.
“Never! I would never!” She was belly laughing now, as she tried to talk to me.
“I love your laugh. It’s so beautiful,” I said as she was in the middle of it. It was a glorious sound, and I couldn’t wait to hear it in person.
Those two months of waiting and getting ready for them were torturous.
I ended up telling her that Ryder needed my help with something, but it wasn’t bad, and he’d tell her about it when he was ready.
I promised it was nothing illegal, and that seemed to help her relax about it a little bit.
She wasn’t happy I wasn’t telling her, but I’d given my word to him.
He needed a male figure in his life whom he knew he could depend on.
And I wasn’t about to betray the trust he’d put in me.
I was determined for that male figure to be me.
I worked hard in therapy, upping my sessions, and adding in parenting advice from my therapist and actual parenting classes.
I wanted to make sure that I was ready for whatever happened.
Matthew…that fuckwad had called two days before the trip and promised to take him.
Swore he was going to come pick him up. But when they didn’t get any calls on their way to the airport, they assumed that it was another missed weekend.
Ryder decided he didn’t want to call; he didn’t want to ask why anymore.
He just told her he was matching energy.
Ryder just sat there on the plane, looking out the window, ‘looking older’ is what Raven said as she cried before takeoff.
I had never hated being so far from someone before.
Ryder had been angry since his dad’s phone call with false promises, yet again. He wouldn’t even talk to me when I offered. I sent him an email with information on how he could get his dad to lose what custody he did have. All I got was a single sentence from him.
“When we come up, please help.”
I knew this was going to be a rough weekend for them both.
I had also talked to the guys to see if they would be willing to help with Ryder and channeling his anger in a positive way.
I was going to try to get her to move them up here, at least see if it was a possibility. I would get us a house on the compound.
Bullet mentioned he might be selling the house he and Becca designed and built if there were too many bad memories there.
So, I’d be over by Prez, current and former, as well as both current and former Mrs. Prez, Hades, Atlas, and there was more land around there that Bullet would get and build again on.
I told him if he sold it, I would buy it from him.
I’ve got more than enough money. Never spent anything on myself other than necessities, in almost twenty years. And I had been paid well for the work I’d done.
I hoped this weekend went well .