Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Hey.”
Saylor blinked, scrubbing her hand across her face as Zain pulled onto the long gravel driveway before stopping next to Chase’s truck. “Talk about déjà vu.”
He reached over and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “I know you’re exhausted and that the last thing you want to do is rehash what happened…”
“But you and your teammates won’t rest until you’ve formulated a plan.”
“I just don’t want to miss a threat. Leave you vulnerable because I have a hard time believing this is all just a bunch of coincidences.”
She nodded, jumping when a tree branch cracked outside. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help, or even mind going over it, it’s just…”
He took her hand in his. “You’re worried this will circle back to the Vigilant .”
“I’m worried, I’ll slip into a full-blown PTSD flashback and wake up in the psychiatric ward wearing a straightjacket.”
Zain grinned as he swept his gaze the length of her. “No one’s gonna tie you up but me, sweetheart.”
She laughed, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. “Guess I have something to look forward to, then.”
He inched closer and slid his palm across her cheek.
“We all have ghosts, Saylor. Or maybe they’re demons.
Regardless, none of us came out of our time in the service unscathed.
And we sure as hell aren’t going to judge.
If you need to shut us down, you shut us down.
” He leaned in. “I’m still going to want to make breakfast for you in the morning. ”
She nuzzled into his touch, then nodded, slipping out of the truck and into the rain. She took Zain’s hand as they ran for the porch, tugging him to a halt after he’d cracked open the door. “How do you make peace with them?”
Zain arched a brow. “With who?”
“The ghosts. Or demons.”
He dipped down and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
She slid her fingers behind his head. “That’s not going to hold me over until we get to your place.”
He didn’t hesitate, claiming her mouth as he held her close, her fingers scratching his scalp until he finally eased back — kissed behind her ear.
She brushed her thumb across his mouth. “Better.”
The hinges creaked a moment before Foster appeared in the doorway, one hand on the frame, the other stuffed in his pocket. “Do you two need some alone time before we talk?”
Saylor shook her head, trailing her finger along Zain’s shoulder as she faced Foster. “Is that on the table?”
“Only if you can promise us once will be enough.”
“Doubtful.” She pushed past him, accepting the mug Kash held out to her.
He handed another to Zain. “I made coffee for everyone.”
“Thank god.” She took a cautious sip. “Damn, this should be illegal.”
Zain bumped her good shoulder. “Don’t praise him. His damn head’s already big enough.”
Kash grinned. “Don’t be jealous just because you burn every pot you make.”
Zain rolled his eyes, then offered her a spot on the couch, claiming the seat next to her. He scanned the room, looking as if he was searching for men hiding in the shadows before his muscles eased a bit. Not fully, but they were a step down from when he’d shoved her beneath him earlier.
The rest of his teammates settled in, and the room fell into silence for a moment, as if everyone had paused to breathe before Foster cleared his throat.
He glanced at Zain, and she swore they had some kind of internal conversation. “Tough night.”
She scoffed. “It likely would have turned out much worse if Zain had simply dropped me off and left.”
“That’s never been Zain’s style.” Foster raked his hand through his long hair. “I don’t suppose you have any idea who ransacked your place or what they were looking for?”
“You didn’t think it was going to be that easy, did you?” She took another sip, letting the warm liquid soothe some of her restlessness. “I guess it could have been those pirates.”
“But you don’t think so.”
“They got away. None of us can identify them. Why risk getting caught or killed after already escaping?” She glanced around at Zain’s teammates, noting the similar stoic expressions. “But, you’d already come to that conclusion.”
Kash shrugged. “I could see it if you’d confiscated a stash of weapons or drugs, but we didn’t find anything on that ship…” He trailed off for a moment, staring directly at Zain, then back to her. “Other than that body.”
She groaned and let her head tilt back. “It’s always gonna come back to that, isn’t it? Which means you think this has something to do with the Vigilant .”
She closed her eyes against the rush of images. Lights on the water. Footsteps sounding in the distance. That tone forever ringing in her head.
Zain wrapped one arm around her, tugging her in tight against his side. “Breathe, sweetheart.”
How was she supposed to breathe when her greatest failure kept returning to the spotlight? Sure, she’d survived, but at what cost? Her career? Her sanity? A past that wouldn’t let go?
Saylor pushed to her feet and paced to the other side of the room.
She couldn’t sit there, bearing the weight of their expectations.
Not without losing her mind. She turned and braced her ass on the wall, just like earlier.
“I get that it’s a bit farfetched to think these are all just random occurrences.
I just don’t know how any of this is tied to a ship that sank a year ago. An event I can’t even remember.”
Foster nodded. “But you said you get snippets from that night.”
Foster hadn’t asked, and the thought sent her into a full-blown panic. What if they wanted her to describe everything? To relive it? What if Zain figured out she was too damaged, too damn broken to get involved with?
Either Zain had started reading minds or she’d given it away by closing her eyes because he was at her side a heartbeat later — had one of her hands in his. “We know this isn’t easy, but anything you remember from that night might shine some light into how this is connected.”
“But that’s the point. I don’t remember anything concrete. Just flashes that don’t make any sense.”
“Maybe not separately, and maybe some of it’s more metaphorical than literal. But anything’s better than what we’ve got, now.”
She braced herself against the onslaught of images, using Zain’s firm grip to keep her grounded. “I remember footsteps. Hinges creaking. Gunfire. What looked like lights bobbing on the water and this… never-ending sound.”
Zain squeezed her hand. “What kind of sound? ”
“I don’t know. A tone. But it just goes on and on until I want to pound my head through the wall.”
“An explosion, maybe?”
“Possibly.”
Foster nodded. “I realize whatever they were studying was classified, but is there anything you can tell us about that mission?”
“If Maddox disclosed the nature of it once we were onboard, I don’t remember. I was only there to provide security.” She scoffed. “Just another job I obviously failed.”
“Did you?” Zain inched closer. “Or were you too damn good at it and uncovered something you shouldn’t have?”
“Even if that’s true, why wait a year before coming after me?”
“I don’t know, but what you described doesn’t sound like some kind of system’s failure.”
“No.” She looked him dead in the eyes. “It sounds as if I’ve lost my mind.”
Zain pursed his lips, glancing over at Chase. “Chase? What’s your take?”
Chase scrubbed a hand down his face as he rested his elbows on his knees.
“I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but it’s not a secret that between the blood loss and the head trauma, the hyperthermia and being trapped on that bloody Zodiac for three days, wondering if the next wave was going capsize you could have messed with your head.
Stitched a bunch of different events together. ”
Saylor groaned. “Which is what every damn shrink said at the hospital.”
“Or…” Chase shifted forward. “You’re remembering what really went down on the Vigilant, and the Coast Guard and whoever else was involved used your obvious injuries to bury the truth.”
“That’s not hard when I can’t challenge any of their claims.”
Zain moved over and palmed the wall next to her. Not close enough to box her in or set her off. More a show of support. That he’d catch her if she wavered
“We understand how hard this is. And it’s your choice how far we push it. I just really think we should have Bodie see what he can unearth about the Vigilant and that classified mission. But only if you’re okay with that.”
A shiver worked through her, more snippets flashing in her head. “Twenty-five people died that night. I owe it to them to uncover the truth, whether I like what I discover or not.”
“I know you feel responsible simply because you’re alive, but that’s just survivor’s guilt. You know that, right?”
She glanced at the floor for a moment. “I got shot in the back.”
“Likely by some deranged mercenary.”
“Or was it because something bad happened, and I ran.”
Zain sighed, looking back at his teammates before leaning closer.
“In all the time we’ve known you, you’ve never once backed down from a fight — Bullets, weather, waves that would kill a lesser person.
You’ve faced them all. There’re a dozen different scenarios you could sell me on, but none of them include you running from danger. It’s just not in your DNA.”
“Let’s hope you’re right.”
He traced his thumb along her jaw. “I am.”
Foster moved in closer. “We’ll get Bodie on it. Now, before we wrap this up and everyone gets some much-needed sleep, is there anyone else we should be looking into? A cartel that might come after you from your time in the TACLET units? An ex-boyfriend who won’t take no for an answer?”
Saylor froze. She hadn’t thought the conversation would stray from her time on the Vigilant . Not after imagining that guy’s face today, how it had morphed into Baker for a few agonizing moments, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about Watson.