Chapter 10 #2
Saylor stilled. Had she spoken that out loud or just thought it?
Zain grinned, and she cursed under her breath. “C’mon. The last thing you need is to get another chill.”
Zain gave them each a quick scrub, igniting that heat, again, despite his apparent intentions before grabbing a towel and wrapping her up. He frowned when he glanced at her shoulder, shaking his head in mock frustration. “Chase is gonna have my ass if I leave that wet bandage on you.”
“Just take it off. The skin adhesive should be fine by now.”
Zain huffed, but gently removed the tape, hissing out a breath at the bruising already coloring her skin. “Shit… That looks sore.”
“Does it? Because I don’t even feel it.”
“You will once all those endorphins wear off.”
She reached up and drew her thumb across his mouth. “Then, you’ll have to help me make more.”
“Oh no. No more fun until you get some sleep.”
“Then, why are we still standing in the bathroom?”
Zain chuckled, then guided her back to his bed. He grabbed a shirt out of the closet and helped her slip it on. “Not that I don’t want to be naked with you… ”
“But you need to be somewhat prepared in case a wet squad shows up on your doorstep.” She held up her hand. “I’ll wear your clothes any day.”
He smiled, then climbed into the bed, gathering her in his arms as everything settled into place. “Sleep. I’m sure someone will be knocking on the door at some ungodly hour.”
She kissed his chest, drawing lazy circles on his skin. “Will you wake me when it’s time for one of your nightly tours?”
He tensed, his lips pursing before he sighed. “Would you want me to?”
“It might be nice to have someone guarding your six.”
He stared at her as if he was mulling it over. “I can try to let it go. I know the others’ll be running patrols.”
She pushed onto her elbow. “You don’t have to change for me. You know that right?”
“I’m not changing. Just curbing the crazy for a night.”
“Wanting to keep everyone safe isn’t crazy. It’s just who you are.”
He sighed. “Tell that to Kash.”
“Kash has his own hangups. Besides, he has Nyx. And Jordan. That’s kinda cheating.”
“You’re definitely one-of-a-kind, sweetheart. Sleep. I’ll wake you if the voices get too loud.”
She burrowed against him. “Assuming I don’t wake you from a nightmare, first.”
“If I did everything right, you won’t wake until morning. ”
“Trust me. You did everything right.”
Zain kissed her forehead, the soft touch lulling her into a warm haze.
She drifted off, the steady rhythm of his heart beating against her cheek following her under until everything shifted.
Footsteps replaced the soothing sound, starting and stopping, drawing closer until that eerie tone strummed through the air.
Saylor covered her ears, falling to her knees as chaos unfolded around her, each moment flashing to life in a bolt of lightning.
Waves crashing. The ship listing to starboard.
Lights bounced along the water, that tone growing louder until it crushed down on her. Stole whatever oxygen was in the air.
She reached out, tried to grab the Zodiac, but it stayed oddly out of reach, swinging in the wind as the Vigilant rose and fell beneath her. A shadow moved in the background, familiar eyes staring at her from the darkness as he raised his weapon, the muzzle pointed her way.
“Saylor!”
She jerked awake, fighting off hands and blankets when a soft light brightened the room, Zain’s face materializing beside her. She froze, chest heaving, sweat beading her forehead, that damn tone still ringing in her ears.
She covered them, willing away the noise, as Zain tugged her against his chest, rocking her back and forth until the worst of the dream had faded. Tears burned her eyes, images still lingering in her head when one face wavered amidst the shadows.
Her breath caught, those dead eyes coming to life for a moment as they stared up at her from the deck. “He was there.”
Zain stilled as he brushed back her damn hair. “Easy, sweetheart. Just breathe.”
She shook her head, pulling away. “He was there. On the ship. I saw him.” She pounded the heel of her hand against her forehead as black dots crept in from the sides. “I saw him. I’m not crazy.”
“Whoa, no one thinks you’re crazy, but if you don’t slow your breathing, you’ll pass out.”
She stared at him, everything dimming around her, before he eased her back into his arms. A choked sob bubbled free, those tears spilling over as her strength waned, and she collapsed against him.
“That’s it, just let it go for now.”
She focused on his voice — the pitch, the cadence — anything to dim that ringing in her head. The tone that never quite faded.
Zain dropped a kiss on her forehead, before tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “Better?”
Another sob clawed at her throat, but she managed to crush it before it escaped. “If feeling as if I’m losing my mind is better, then sure.”
“You’re not crazy, sweetheart. You’re recovering.”
She scoffed. “It’s been a year. More than enough time to recover.”
“You survived three days at sea in a fucking Zodiac. Storms raging around you. Bleeding. Frozen. Do you understand how incredible that is? What it must have taken to keep that boat from sinking? How damn impressed we are?” He leaned in and brushed his finger along her back, skimming across the scar.
“Sure, physically, the wound’s healed. But that kind of trauma doesn’t fade like a scar.
It festers beneath the surface just waiting to strike.
The fact you can’t remember any of it…” He shook his head.
“A lesser person wouldn’t have come back from that. ”
She pursed her lips, trying not to break down, again, before she’d talked it out. Voiced the one question that had been eating at her since she’d woken in the hospital. “What if I ran? What if I’m the reason everyone died?”
He cupped her jaw, waiting until she met his gaze.
“You could have run today after that drum hurt Atticus. Could have waited for the Coast Guard before searching the ship, fully aware you might be outmanned and outgunned. But since the day I met you, you’ve never shied away from anything.
Hell, you nearly died at sea, and yet you stepped up when that maniac had Kash and Mac.
Piloted us through a storm I can only imagine brought back a bunch of ugly memories, even if it was only in flashes. And you did it again, for Jordan.”
He shook his head, brushing his thumb along her cheeks. “If that was truly who you are, you would have kept running instead of jumping back into the fray. I realize the uncertainty is gutting, but I’ll put my life in your hands any day.”
She pressed against his palm. “I just wish I wasn’t struggling. Everyone else has had their fair share of trauma and seem so much better adjusted.”
Zain laughed. “You think we’re adjusted?
It took Foster months to get back behind a set of controls, and only because Mac’s life was on the line.
Kash used to spend half his time literally running with Nyx in the hopes of out-distancing the past. And Chase…
He’s treading water because he can’t forgive himself for not saving Sean.
So, no, sweetheart, we’re not adjusted.”
“You seem pretty damn steady.”
“So, the fact I run maneuvers every night because I can’t let go of the one time I missed a threat is normal?
” He sighed. “Do you know why I didn’t invite you in after that botched date?
” He didn’t even wait for her to shake her head.
“Rhett’s doctor called, and he’s either waking up or more likely… ”
He closed his eyes, his breath hissing out through clenched teeth.
Saylor drew him in close. “I’m sorry. The not knowing’s the worst.”
“The point is, we’re all just trying to muddle our way through without burning everything to the ground.” He rolled his shoulders the way she’d seen Foster do a thousand times whenever things got tense. “Now, before it all fades, you mentioned he was there. Do you remember what that means?”
She inhaled, those flashes flooding her mind.
Zain cursed. “Easy, just breathe.”
She sucked in some air. Too fast to help with the dizzy feeling spinning the room, but at least she didn’t pass out. “That guy from the ship, today. He was there. On the Vigilant . I remember him standing on the deck that night. I… I think he might have shot me, only there was someone else…”
She groaned, then flopped back on the bed. “Nothing makes sense. Hell, maybe it’s not even real. Maybe I’m imagining he was there because I need to justify what I saw today. Prove that I’m not losing my mind.”
Zain loomed over her. “Bodie was pretty confident he’d be able to scrounge up photos of the research crew. Maybe identifying him will help shake a few more memories loose. In the meantime…”
He went to his elbows, nipping at her lip when he froze. His head tilted to the side, every muscle primed. Like back at her apartment. She scanned the room, looking for whatever had caught his attention when he snapped his gaze toward the window.
The drawer creaked a second later as he slid it open, grabbing both weapons. He placed the spare she’d used on the nightstand, then tugged on his clothes. “There’s someone outside.”
She glanced at the window. “How do you know?”
“I heard the wooden boards on the deck creak. And a shadow passed by the window.”
He’d noticed a shadow dart past the window? With it still pitch-black outside? And how the hell had he heard anything above her breath wheezing out of her chest?
Not that she’d question him. Zain had the situational awareness of a squirrel on crack. The kind of honed senses that went beyond training. That was etched into his DNA. She’d trust his instincts any day.
Zain waited until she’d dressed and grabbed his spare, then headed for the door.
He cleared the hallway and the great room before waving her over.
He opened a lockbox in the front closet, grabbed a couple flashlights and a few extra mags for both weapons, then palmed the handle.
Rain still pounded against the roof, the wind rattling the windows as he showed the countdown on his fingers, opening the door once he’d reached one.
He darted out, sweeping the porch as she moved in behind him, guarding their six. The soft glow from Foster’s place brightened the pathway between the two buildings, casting long shadows where the trees blocked out the light.
Zain narrowed in on the far end of his house, motioning her to get behind him as he shuffled enough they were somewhat covered. “Whoever’s in the shadows better step out now before I start shooting. Because if you make me run you down, I’ll use extreme prejudice.”