Chapter 8 #2
“Ah, congratulations my dear!” The woman smiled at her awkwardly, and reached out to shake Anthony’s hand vigorously.
He could feel the aftershocks all through his body as his mind attempted to catch up with what was happening.
“I-I said so to Violet, so I did, that man has his eye on our Miss Nerissa, and – ”
“Did I hear tell of a marriage?” A third stranger had approached them, and Anthony started to feel real panic now. How could he stop this, how could he possibly stop it?
He risked a glance at Mr Fairchild, who was maintaining his glare at him and saying not one word.
Anthony tried to take in a deep breath, and found himself unable to do so. He was slowly suffocating in that room, unable to speak, unable to make himself heard.
How could she have misunderstood him? Anthony racked his brains desperately, trying to remember the exact words that he had spoken to her, but he could recall nothing that intimated he was ready to go to church with Nerissa.
Marry her – marry Nerissa! Yes, he had thought about it, but never seriously!
“ – and then to London, I think,” Nerissa was saying to the five people now gathered around them with a bright smile. “Of course, there is much of the continent that I would like to see, but first we – ”
“Stop!”
Anthony’s bellow finally halted the conversation, and all five strangers, Mr Fairchild, and Nerissa stared at him in wonder.
“Anthony?” Nerissa squeezed the hand that she still had clasped in her own, and smiled. “Is anything the matter?”
Anthony bowed his head slightly and then made his decision. Ignoring the surprised yells of the group, he strode away, pulling Nerissa with him until they reached a quiet and empty corner of the Assembly room.
He turned to face her, and his heart seemed to snap. There was such trust, such devotion in her eyes. This would break her heart, but he had to tell her.
“Nerissa,” Anthony said quietly in an undertone, “Nerissa, I must apologise for this, but I…I believe that you have the wrong idea about me.”
Her eyes were wide, but her lips were silent.
“About us,” he continued, his eyes darting across her features, waiting for her to understand.
She shook her head slightly, her smile fading. “I do not follow you, Anthony.”
Blowing out his breath and then taking a deep breath in, Anthony looked her in the eye as he said, “Nerissa, I did not actually propose to you.”
There was a moment of horrendous silence as he watched her attempt to take in his words.
Eventually, she said quietly, “That is a very poor joke, Anthony.”
“‘Tis no joke,” Anthony said wretchedly, trying to ignore the craning heads of those who had been but a minute ago congratulating Nerissa on her impending marriage. “I have made you no offer of marriage.”
“But you did,” Nerissa countered, her eyes wide and face serious.
“When?” Anthony’s word was desperate, and he was genuine in his question. “When, Nerissa, for I do not recall it!”
His words had ended in a hiss, a whisper not enough to carry his frustration. Nerissa had coloured and her eyes dropped to the floor as she spoke.
“After…when we reached the clearing after finding the…the cherries. You offered me your protection.”
Anthony stared at her in horror. There it was; there was the moment that the mistake had been made. He coughed deeply, in part as distraction more than anything else, but knew that he had to say the words that he was about to say.
“Nerissa,” he said gently, taking her hands in his. “Nerissa, when I said that, I had not actually intended it as…as a proposal.”
The look of horror on her face was enough to shame him. She wrenched her hands from his and raised them to her face, her cheeks flushed crimson.
“I care very deeply for you, Nerissa, I swear I do,” Anthony said hurriedly in a low voice, “and I have great respect for you, but I thought – I thought that you understand what I meant.”
“No,” Nerissa breathed, desperate panic in her eyes. “No, no, Anthony do not say such – ”
“I meant,” Anthony continued doggedly, determined to clear up the misunderstanding once and for all, “that I was offering you the chance to be…to be my mistress.”
Her hands moved over her eyes as she cried, “Mistress?”
Not for the first time that night, and once again due to him, the entire Assembly Room went quiet. This time the musicians laid down their instruments too, as every eye turned to the corner where Anthony stood, alongside the now distraught Nerissa.
Her hands had dropped to her sides as she glared at him, her eyes wet with tears that had not yet fallen, as she hissed, “Just in case you wished to humiliate me even more, you wanted to offer me the chance to be your mistress?”
If Anthony could have died on the spot, he may have done so. Every eye upon him was making him feel incredibly hot and uncomfortable, but it was nothing to the discomfort that he felt inside.
“If you had wanted to seduce me, why did you talk to me about the places that we would go together?”
Her voice rang out clear in the room and there were now muttered shocked words, and a few shaken heads. Anthony could see Mr Fairchild’s face over Nerissa’s shoulder, and if looks could kill, he would have received his wish and dropped down on the floor.
“I cannot forgive myself for the misunderstanding,” Anthony said in a whisper, as though begging Nerissa to lower her own voice, “and I apologise for the confusion, I do, but I – I never intended to make you an offer of marriage! Nerissa, I am completely destitute, how could I ever care for you?”
He had thought that nothing could be as bad as the tears, nor the stares of everyone around them, but the bitter laugh that Nerissa now made was ten times worse.
“Of course! Of course, this comes down to money, does it not? Everything does with you,” she spat, pain now masking the sorrow in her features.
“I should have known. I should have expected that it was all about money for you. Perhaps if you were a little cleverer, Count, you would have agreed to marry me for my dowry!”
There was not a single person who was not muttering now, and Anthony saw from the corner of his eye that Mr Fairchild was making his way over to them.
If Anthony had given in to the cowardice he then felt in his heart, he would have run, run from the room and not looked back. But he could not leave her, could not leave Nerissa to face the consequences of his actions, their actions, alone.
“Am I to understand, then,” barked Mr Fairchild as he reached them, “that there is no longer to be a wedding?”
It was at that moment, that wild moment that understanding dawned in Anthony’s mind.
There was a solution to this, of course there was!
Seeing her in pain, seeing Nerissa this night, had he not already considered that he may fall in love with her?
Had he not already thought that after a few years, he may wish to marry her after all? So why not now?
“I am perfectly willing to marry Miss Fairchild,” he said with a slight smile at Nerissa.
It was not returned. “And yet, despite my deep humiliation,” she said coldly, “I do not wish to marry you. Even if you begged me.”
Nerissa turned on the spot and without another word, ran out of the room.
“Nerissa – Nerissa, wait!” Anthony called after her and took a step towards her, but he was prevented in doing so by the rather firm presence of Mr Fairchild.
“You sir – you dishonour me once more!” There was such fury in Mr Fairchild’s eyes that Anthony blanched slightly. “You disgrace my daughter, and only then decide to offer marriage? I challenge you to a duel, to restore my honour!”
If Anthony had thought that the mutterings in the room before had been loud, he was proved wrong now, but he did not care what they said. All his thoughts were on Nerissa, and there was an ache in his chest.
What had he done? What had he done to the most beautiful, the most loyal, and the wittiest woman that he had ever met?
“Well sir?! Do you accept my challenge?”
Flecks of spit landed on Anthony’s face as Mr Fairchild scowled at him, and Anthony sighed. There did not seem to be any other course of action.
“I accept,” he said quietly, finally returning Mr Fairchild’s glare. “But it will for the justice of the catastrophe of the Olympic Shipping Company, and not because of Nerissa. I need to restore that in my own way.”