Chapter 5 #2
She picked up a spoon and took a mouthful of the soup. Parsnip. Delicious.
“We are not waiting for Lady Jarrold?”
Louisa looked up to see David looking confused, his soup untouched. “My mother is…”
Words failed her in that moment as she tried to think what to say. She could not reveal, after all, that her mother was absent from the house, leaving the two of them without a chaperone.
Louisa’s lungs tightened in her chest. Alone, with David. She must not think of it. She certainly must not give him any indication that she minded being alone with him.
Besides, she wasn’t alone. Not entirely. Mrs. Lane was here, at least for another hour or so, before she departed for her own home. The cost of having a live in housekeeper, Lady Jarrold had discovered, was far greater than they could manage.
“Is?” repeated David, looking curious.
Louisa steeled herself for the lie she knew she must tell. “Upstairs. Indisposed. You have upset her.”
She watched as David’s face contorted with pain, then as he managed to control himself, and guilt poured into her heart.
She should not have done that. Should not have lied.
But then Louisa hardened her heart and took another mouthful of delicious parsnip soup. Well, it was not as though David had been honest, had he, when he had requested lodgings for the Advent period? He was the one who had lied in the first place – not them.
Louisa’s spoon scraped the bottom of her bowl without a single word being spoken between them, but her senses were heightened to his presence, distracting her most painfully. Even ensuring that she did not look up, she was highly conscious of the gentleman at the other end of the table.
“Delicious soup.”
Louisa nodded, rather than speak. The awkwardness of the entire affair was impossible! Where was her mother – and why was she taking such an inordinate amount of time before returning?
What could have been so important to retrieve, at this time of night?
Mrs. Lane appeared again, bringing a tray of roast pork and vegetables, already portioned onto plates.
Louisa felt a flush start to rise from her chest. It was certainly not the sort of service that the Jarrolds had offered their guests when her father had been alive.
No, it would have been silver service, footmen, platters of food on the table and servants to help you to the food. Luxury. Splendour. Delight.
Now it was prepared portions for they could afford any more food, and Mrs. Lane, who was very good.
That was what her mother always said, and Louisa had thought for a while that the housekeeper had been particularly kind to Lady Jarrold.
It was only recently that she discovered her mother meant the housekeeper took very low wages.
As the door shut behind Mrs. Lane, David cleared his throat. “This food is very good.”
“Good,” said Louisa crisply.
Against her better judgement, she glanced up and saw David looking at her most tenderly.
She looked away immediately, her insides burning. How – how dare he look at her like that! He was the one who disappeared, he was the one who refused to speak with her parents, he was the one who broke her heart…
The roast pork was dry in her mouth as the emotions threatened to overwhelm Louisa, but she swallowed down both feelings and food.
She would not permit him to get the better of him.
“What are your plans then?” asked David conversationally, about ten minutes later. “For Advent, I mean.”
Louisa glanced at him then looked immediately back down. “I have no plans.”
“No plans?”
“My plans were for the Archduke,” Louisa said sweetly to the remains of the gravy on her plate. “Not for you.”
It was strange, being this way with David. Growing up he had been such a sweet boy, and had become a handsome man. Always open, always kind…
It was why Louisa had fallen in love with him in the first place.
But she did not love him now. Louisa forced herself to keep her eyes averted, ensuring there were no further chances for David to attract her attention.
She would not give him the satisfaction.
The sound of heavy snow against the windows was increasing now, and lightning lit up the room at increasing intervals.
Her mother should have been back by now. There was no errand surely, Louisa thought desperately to herself, that would have taken her so far from home that she would not have returned. Perhaps she was upstairs, changing – perhaps she had become drenched with the snow.
Or perhaps…
The door opened and Mrs. Lane appeared, but not with a tray but with a letter in her hand.
Louisa’s heart lurched. “Yes?”
Mrs. Lane bobbed a curtsey, something she rarely did to Louisa – not that they had ever mentioned it – and handed over the letter.
“What is it?” asked David mildly as Mrs. Lane disappeared.
Louisa glared up at him. “None of your concern.”
Pulling open the letter, which had been waxed shut with a seal she did not recognise, Louisa’s eyes scanned over the brief lines which were enclosed.
Louisa,
Storm bad – staying with friends. Do not concern yourself about me. I will return in the morning.
Mother
Louisa stared down at the missive. It was her mother’s handwriting, there was no mistaking that loop on the L of her name. And it would certainly make sense that her mother had no wish to return in this awful weather they were having.
But the very worst of it was only just starting to sink into her mind.
With her mother gone, that would leave her alone tonight with…
“Everything is in order, I trust?”
Louisa looked slowly up at the gentleman seated at the other end of the dining table, horror in her eyes. No. Surely it could not be – this was absolutely the worst situation that she could possibly find herself in.
David, here, with her? Alone?
“What does it say?” asked David, concern across his face. “Not bad news, I hope?”
Louisa swallowed. Well, she had no choice it seemed but to accept her fate, even if she certainly would not have chosen it herself.
She would be spending not only the entirety of Advent with an Archduke, but this very evening she would be alone. With David.
“Not bad news, no,” she lied. “My mother is…is otherwise detained. She will be staying with friends tonight and will return tomorrow.”
Though she could not see her own face, Louisa was certain she had turned pale – and well she might. A night alone, with David? In a storm? It went against everything she could have expected – and a small part of her was reminding her that a year ago, this would have been everything she wanted.
Everything she now should not want.
“Are you quite well, Louisa?”
“I am quite well,” Louisa said in the strongest voice she could muster. “And do not call me Louisa. You have lost that right.”