Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
David lay back on the pillow, tried to catch his breath, and stared up at the ceiling.
Damn. He had done it. He had done what he had considered before this evening the completely impossible.
Not only had he managed to explain to Louisa just how much he cared for her, how the proposal he had made had been ignored even though it was offered…but he had bedded her.
Their lovemaking echoed through his body, making him quiver as he recalled the instant he realised that he would be doing this for the rest of his life.
“Make love to me, David. Again, I mean.”
Louisa lay beside him on the bed, breathing heavily, her skirts still pushed up to her knees. David could feel her presence beside him, even with his eyes half closed, his eyelids fluttering with the intensity of his passion.
He was so attuned to her now, so conscious of her presence, that he truly believed he would always know she was near him.
Louisa. His Louisa.
“But now I am ready to show you just how much I wanted you, Louisa. Just how beautiful you are, just how desired.”
David swallowed, his mouth dry, utterly exhausted from the intensity of their lovemaking. He could barely believe it, in a way; it were as though the last hour was a dream, a desperate daydream that he had treated himself to while in Austria.
Truth be told, it was not entirely different from the desires he had hidden while abroad. Finding Louisa, telling Louisa the truth, making her cry out his name…
His manhood gave a twitch, but it was a relatively gentle one. David knew that though his passion for Louisa was undampened, after so many months of longing, after such desperation to be closer to her, his body was rather shaken, now that he had actually managed it.
A smile crept across David’s face. He had done it. He had found her, made her understand his affection for her, and best of all…
“Don’t stop…”
David’s smile broadened. Best of all, she had felt it too. She still cared for him, that affection which he had stirred up over a year ago still flaming hot under the surface – not that anyone would have been able to tell by the way she had treated him at dinner.
He almost chuckled at that. Strange to think that in just a few hours, such a difference could be wrought between two people. That understanding could blossom.
That passion could overtake them.
It was hard to believe, in a way, but was this not precisely what he had hoped for? Was this not why he had decided to come back to England in the first place – to find lodgings close by?
It had been sheer fantastic luck that the Jarrolds themselves had been looking for a lodger.
“Had I known it was you…Archduke Nelson, indeed. I would certainly have…if I had known – ”
True, it was unlikely that he would have been able to have even a private conversation with Louisa if her mother was here…
The window rattled as the storm grew in pace, and David glanced at it. Most unusual, now he came to think about it, for Lady Jarrold to be out in something like this. It must have been something very important for her to leave the house in this weather – and to leave her daughter to.
Just as David started to wonder what could have taken the matriarch from her home, his thoughts were immediately distracted by the soft embrace that swept across him.
Louisa. Her hand had moved across his chest, a gentle hand resting on his shirt as she sighed happily.
“David…”
David’s heart lurched. Had any man ever been so fortunate as to have secured the affections of one so perfect?
It was hard to understand, in a way, just how he had managed to do it, although he would not ask. He had no desire to impress upon Louisa just how unworthy he was, just how above his station she was.
No, he would simply have to accept it, bizarre as it was. She loved him. He loved her. They would be married.
“Louisa,” he murmured, moving his arm around her to bring her fully into his embrace.
She snuggled into him, seemingly totally at ease. “You are warm.”
“I should think so, after all that exertion,” David said dryly.
He could hardly believe she had let him do it – that Louisa had not only enjoyed it, but cried out for more. His manhood twitched once again. To find a lady who enjoyed such things, who wanted more of them…it was every man’s dream.
And to find it in Louisa?
He had believed this Advent would be a difficult, prolonged, upsetting conversation between the two of them. Why, David had even steeled himself for leaving after Christmas with his intentions still not complete.
But to win her within hours of arriving here…she really did love him.
David’s heartbeat pattered painfully in his chest, irregular, as though it could not believe the fortunate situation it had found him in.
“You did do all the work, did you not?” came Louisa’s gentle voice, just a hint of laughter within it. “My goodness…I had no idea that…”
Her voice trailed away, but David did not need her to continue. He understood well, and was not surprised.
After all, what lady of her breeding was told about…that sort of thing? What young lady of her innocence had yet discovered the pleasure of touch, of a kiss, of how two people could glorify in each other’s presence in a way that was so enticing, so intoxicating?
“I must admit, I am rather astonished at myself.”
“I am impressed,” said David quietly, feeling the uncertainty in her under his fingertips. “Most impressed, I must say.”
Louisa lifted her head ever so slightly to catch his eye before she lowered it back to his shoulder again. “I have no idea what you mean.”
David chuckled, feeling the weight of her on his side; a welcome weight, a weight that told him he had been successful. He had her. The most beautiful woman in the world.
“I think you know precisely what I mean, and you know it,” he said with a wry smile.
She laughed herself at that. “My my, tangling yourself up rather, aren’t you?”
David curled a finger into her side, just a little, and Louisa giggled. “You know what I mean. Louisa, sharing such a thing with me…your boldness is truly spectacular.”
There was a moment of silence in which David wondered whether he had gone too far, and then Louisa giggled again.
“Well, you and your fine words are certainly sufficient to get me into bed,” came the wry reply. “I never thought it would be so easy to be persuaded.”
David laughed. “You wanted to be persuaded, that is different.”
“Hmmmm.”
They lay there in silence for a few minutes, luxuriating in each other’s presence. David tried to focus on every single detail, every breath, every shifting movement, the smell of her, the feel of her.
This was what he wanted to remember when they were old and grey, and no longer had the strength nor stamina to do such things. Their first time. The first moment they realised they wished to spend the rest of their lives together, and did something about it to ensure they would never be parted.
“David…”
David did not need that translated either. He could hear the longing in Louisa’s voice, the uncertainty, the need to be held closer and yet the discomfort with saying such a thing.
Tilting his head, he saw Louisa was lifting up her lips to be kissed.
David bestowed a delicate kiss at first, knowing he should not demand more – but it quickly transformed, the heat of her mouth and the quivering moans in her throat as he pulled her closer, the kiss deepening, increasing, his tongue demanding entrance…
His whole body was on fire, on fire for her, and in that moment David knew what was going to happen next, and his manhood twitched in response, in anticipation of another fabulous lovemaking –
“No.”
In an instant, David pulled away. “What?”
His heart was beating so quickly, his pulse rocketing in his ears so loudly that he was not immediately certain why he had stopped. Then he saw Louisa’s face; her crimson cheeks, her fearful eyes, and he sat up hastily, Louisa moving away from him.
The connection was broken. They were no longer touching, the intimacy of that moment gone.
David felt bereft, as though he had been physically beaten. After being so close to Louisa, being apart from her now brought him actual pain.
“Louisa?”
“We must not…we should not make love again, I think,” she said, a little rueful smile on her face. “You know why.”
In David’s heady lust, he did not know. He could think of now earthly reason why they should not make love over and over again, damn the world, but that probably wasn’t what Louisa needed to hear.
He blinked. “I know why?”
A small smile crept across Louisa’s beautiful face. “David.”
David waited. Surely she would tell him this mysterious reason why they could not enjoy each other again?
But no explanation seemed forthcoming, and eventually he had to say, “Louisa?”
A slight pink tinged Louisa’s cheeks. “We need to…to discuss a few things, before we…”
David nodded, though he could not possibly think what needed to be discussed. They understood each other perfectly, did they not? He loved her, she loved him, they had made love. They would be together now for the rest of their lives. What explanation was needed?
“Right,” he said, not understanding at all, and suddenly very conscious that his breeches were around his ankles and Louisa was fully clothed. “Why do you not start?”
The pink tinge became a flush. “No, you.”
David almost smiled, but he managed to control his facial expression just in time. That was always the way with Louisa, wasn’t it? Not shy, exactly; the woman knew her own mind well enough.
It was just that sometimes, it was easier for someone else to say it and then for her to agree with them, than for her to start the conversation.
It was one of the things he truly loved about her. All that intellect, all that passion was there, just under the surface. But it took Louisa being entirely comfortable before anyone would see it.
A real honour.
“Well, I suppose one of the things that we will need to think about is where we are going to live after we are married,” David said conversationally, as though they were sitting at afternoon tea on a sunny afternoon discussing such things.
Joy perked up in Louisa’s face. “Yes! I have wondered that. Do you have any preferences as to locale?”
David could hardly believe that he was having this conversation; where were they going to live? Himself, and Louisa. As a married couple.
It was almost too good to be true.
“I thought Soelden was rather nice, when I visited for Easter,” he mused aloud. “Though to be honest, Mallnitz was also beautiful.”
The broad smile on Louisa’s face shifted slightly. “I…I am not aware of those particular towns. Are they in the north?”
David shook his head. An easy mistake to make. “No, the south.”
Now the smile was gone, replaced with a frown. “Really? I have never heard of them.”
“Do not concern yourself, they are not well known here in England,” David said comfortingly.
There was a moment of silence, and then for some inexplicable reason, confusion started clouding Louisa’s face, which made absolutely no sense to David. How was it confusing? How was she supposed to know Austrian towns? It was not as though she had ever been there – not yet.
“David,” Louisa said slowly. “Do you mean to say…are you honestly suggesting that we live in Austria?”
Now it was David’s turn to be confused. “Why, of course!”
Where else could they go? The idea of staying here in England, with the disapproval of the Jarrold family – Lady Jarrold in particular – and all the disgrace which would be poured on Louisa’s head for marrying a man without a title…
David’s stomach churned. Archduke from a Russian Czar would certainly not impress the ton, and he had no desire to stay here and discover just how little they were to be respected.
But evidently, based on Louisa’s expression, the idea that they would go to Austria was laughable.
“You cannot be serious!” Louisa said, a little laughter in her voice. “Us, go to Austria?”
“I have lived there near on a year, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how beautiful it is,” David said stiffly.
Strange. Before he had started on his journey back to England, he had thought of nothing but how beautiful his homeland was, and how eager he was to get there.
Now he was here, he was remarkably defence of the country which had taken him in.
Louisa, however, clearly did not agree with him. Her face had fallen, her eyes wide, and she spluttered for a moment before saying, “You cannot think my mother would like to live in Austria!”
Now it was David’s turn to be astonished. “You cannot think that we would bring your mother with us!”
Lady Jarrold, accompany them to Austria? Lady Jarrold, be a part of their wedded bliss – or not a part of it, on the contrary, for how could a young couple even consider being happy with that sort of mother-in-law glowering in the wings?
David swallowed.
“Had I known it was you…Archduke Nelson, indeed. I would certainly have…if I had known – ”
“You cannot think to leave my mother behind!”
“Why on earth not?” David said without thinking. “She was perfectly happy for you to be miserable, for us to be separated – to hide the truth!”
Louisa stared at him silently, and in that silence David felt the anger growing inside him.
Lady Jarrold had done nothing to further his suit when he had spoken to Lord Jarrold, had done nothing to help him when he had been banished from England – and now Louisa wished to keep living with her, even after they had found each other?
“She lied to you, did not tell you that I had proposed matrimony to your father and been refused,” David said doggedly, refusing to look directly at Louisa for he knew what the response would be. “We do not have to think of her, for she thought not of us!”
The words echoed around the room, and only as David heard them back did he realise just what a mistake he had made.
“Louisa – ”
“Do not say another word,” said Louisa coldly as she staggered up from the bed, her balance slightly off. “I do not wish to hear it.”
“I am sorry – ”
“Strange, you seem to be doing a lot of apologising,” Louisa said with a glare. “Perhaps you might like to consider that, now you are going to have all this time alone.”
“Louisa, wait – ”
“I cannot believe I was so foolish as to think that you could not only love me, but respect me,” Louisa half sobbed, half spoke as she strode to the door. “I want you out, gone, by the morning. No Archduke is going to ruin the rest of my Advent.”
The door slammed behind her.