16. Chapter 15
Chapter 15
I stay quiet at the dinner table, watching Hawk and Jett closely as we tuck into our pasta and vegetables.
I'm at the far end, staring down the middle of the table while Mom and Jett are to my left, and Dad and Hawk my right.
"Tell me about work," Dad says to Hawk. "I know it's been busy."
"Very," Hawk answers, holding his fork up. "We've landed some new contracts. It's actually helping us expand. We're setting up new offices so we have more permanent hands on the ground. It will help ease travel."
Mom beams at him from across the table. "Are you going to settle down with a more permanent location?"
He nods. "We're actually considering staying in Arizona for the foreseeable future."
I start coughing frantically, their conversation paused as they look at me.
"Are you okay?" Mom asks in concern.
"It got caught in my throat," I tell her, waving her off. "I'm fine."
Hawk looks at me knowingly, a small glint in his eye. He turns back to Mom, smiling warmly. "We'll be able to catch up more often. Maybe even take a family vacation at some stage."
My mouth drops. Neither of them look at me, but I can feel their energy radiating down the table. Those fucking assholes.
Mom looks like Christmas and Easter have come at the same time, tears pooling in her eyes. "Oh! Oh, we would just love that. We were actually talking about that recently, weren't we, Craig?"
Dad nods happily. "We said the same thing to Rayne last week."
Hawk looks at me innocently. "Wow, what a coincidence."
"Yes," I grunt. "A huge coincidence."
"We must be on the same wavelength," Jett laughs, elbowing Mom playfully. "Can't wait."
Dad looks over at me, frowning. "You okay, kiddo? You're a bit quiet today."
I nod. "I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." My gaze flicks to Jett, his eyes dancing as he smiles at me.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Rayne. Hopefully you manage to get some rest tonight," he says.
My teeth grind and I look down, picking at my pasta. "Me too. Hopefully everything goes according to plan and I don't get disturbed."
"Disturbed?" Dad asks, and I cringe internally.
"Loud neighbors," I answer casually. "Nothing major."
He nods, accepting my answer. "Well, definitely try to get some sleep. It sounds like you have a big work week coming up."
"I do," I sigh. "Juggling two attorneys is a little exhausting."
"Juggling two people would be," Hawk answers. "Takes a really special person to handle it."
I slowly raise my head to peer at him, tilting my head. "It depends on the people as well, I suppose. Thankfully I love what I do and find work rewarding."
There's a challenge to my tone—my need to prove that I'm not stuck in boring routines in a career that will never advance.
Hawk smiles. "As long as you are happy. That's all we can ask for. Right, Mom?" he says, turning to look at her.
Mom nods. "I just want all my babies to be happy. I'm proud of all of you."
I resist the urge to snort, putting my fork down. "I need to use the bathroom. Excuse me."
They watch as I stand, pushing back my chair. I decide to head to the upstairs bathroom, desperate to get a moment away.
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, I gather my thoughts, focusing on my breathing.
I can do this. I can do this.
When the door creaks open, my head shoots up and I spot Hawk, leaning against the doorframe.
I can't do this.
"Oh, God," I whine. "What do you want now?" I ask, trying to keep my voice down.
He raises an eyebrow at me. "Mom sent me up here to check on you. She's worried."
I roll my eyes, standing up. "Can you blame me?"
"I'm getting the feeling that you are mad at me," he says, acting surprised. "Have I done something?"
Scoffing, I fold my arms. "No," I answer sarcastically. "This has been such a lovely surprise. Very glad you were able to join us for dinner."
Hawk smirks, stepping inside the bathroom. "It's always a pleasure," he muses, closing the distance between us.
I watch him carefully, keeping my guard up. "Biggest displeasure of my life."
He laughs, reaching up to grab my cheek with his hand. "You're definitely a pleasure, Tempest. Did you like your present last night?"
"No," I scold him. "How did you even find out where I live?"
"It's easy, but I can't tell you all my secrets," he replies, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "Because where's the fun in that?"
Before I can respond, he leans down, pressing his lips to mine. My eyes flutter closed, starting to kiss him back before I come to my senses. I push his chest with my hands, breaking the connection.
"Stop that," I whisper heatedly.
"Why?" he asks, stepping forward.
I take a step back, my knees hitting the edge of the bathtub. I try to move around him, but he spins me, pushing me gently against the wall.
"Because."
"Because, why?" he questions again, arm next to my face, balancing on the wall. "Are you afraid to enjoy it?"
I scoff. "I don't enjoy it."
"Liar," he whispers, kissing me again.
I mumble into his mouth, hands reaching up to shove him again. But he's quicker, pinning them against the wall above my head.
This time, I give in, kissing him back. Our bodies are nearly pressed together, and I push against his hands, trying to free myself. I want to touch him, but he doesn't let me.
Slowly, he breaks the kiss, only moving far enough back that our noses still touch.
"Don't fight it," he mumbles, staring into my eyes. "Or do. I love a good fight."
"You don't fight fair," I reply in a low voice.
Hawk smiles. "I know. And that's your favorite part."
Stepping back, he lets me go. Instinctively, I rub my wrists. "Why would it be my favorite?" I ask gingerly.
"Because you like the unexpected," he replies simply. "It's a challenge for you. You're so caught up with always knowing everything and being in control, that it excites you that you can't predict us. It's a thrill."
I don't move, I don't roll my eyes… I just look at him.
"I don't like this ," I finally answer.
Hawk's head tilts to the side as he observes me closely. "Really?"
I nod. "You terrify me. It's like you guys have made it your life mission to hurt me."
He frowns, surprising me. "Hurt you? We don't hurt you."
"Don't gaslight me," I sigh, exhausted. "You've tormented me ever since we met."
"This is true," he answers honestly. "But you've got us all wrong."
"How so?"
Hawk steps back, leaning on the basin. "We don't torment you to hurt you, Tempest. We do it to break you."
I scoff. "That's the same thing."
"It's not," he says casually. "Because sometimes things can only be fixed after they are broken."
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "You've lost me."
"No, I haven't," Hawk replies, kicking off the basin. "You know exactly what I mean deep down. Anyway, I'll go tell Mom you're fine."
He leaves the bathroom, sending me into a raging pile of confusion.
"What?" I yelp, chasing after him, but he's already near the top of the stairs. He pauses briefly, looking over at me with a smirk. I stare at him in disbelief but he just nods before heading out of sight.
I want to scream after him but I can't. So, I just linger awkwardly in the hallway, trying desperately to process his words. I come up short, resigning myself to the fact that he's just playing mind games with me again.
After composing myself, I head back downstairs, apologizing to the table for my absence.
"Are you sure you're okay, sweetheart?" Mom asks, pushing her empty plate away.
I nod. "I'm fine, Mom. I promise. I'm just not feeling the best so I'm going to head home. Thank you for a lovely dinner."
Dad stands apprehensively. "Would you like me to walk you to the car?"
I wave him off, motioning to Hawk and Jett. "No, no. I'm fine. You stay and enjoy the rest of the evening with the guys. I'll talk to you later."
I can't get Hawk's words out of my head. I know I should take it at face value and dismiss it—it's mind games, another ploy to mess with me since I'm physically no longer fighting back. But still, there's a nagging feeling in my stomach that I can't figure out.
I don't need to be broken. There's nothing wrong with me. I sure as hell don't need to be fixed.
My life is near perfect—I have a great job, loving parents, and a stable career. I have more than some people have ever dreamed of. I worked hard to get here and I'm happy.
Aren't I?
It goes around in circles until finally, I reach the point of madness. I grab my cell, contemplating asking Margot to come over so I have someone to be with. But for a brief second, another thought pops into my mind.
Would Hawk and Jett come over if I asked?
Disgust rolls through me and I shake my head. What is wrong with me?
Never in my entire life have I wanted them willingly to hang with me. But the real question is… why do I want them to?
You want answers… I convince myself. This is exactly what Hawk wanted. He wanted to plant the seed of doubt in my mind, drive me to insanity so I'd go to them.
Better yet… so I'd beg for them.
Taking a deep breath, I hit dial on my cell, putting it to my ear. It rings a few times before Margot's voice floats into my ear.
"Hi, Rayne," she greets warmly.
"Hey…" I trail off.
Immediately, she pauses. "What's wrong?" she asks.
I laugh. "Am I that predictable?"
"You're readable ," she corrects. "Do you need me?"
"Yes," I answer, unashamed. "Are you free?"
Margot laughs softly. "Always for you. I'm on my way. Do we need alcohol?"
"Fuck, yes," I breathe out in relief. "I'll take anything at this point."
"I got you," she says. "Give me half an hour."
Margot and I curl up on the bed, glasses of wine in hand. To be honest, I expected hard liquor—but then again, she probably doesn't have the strength to hold my hair up again while I vomit non-stop.
We've got Deadpool on, but neither of us are really watching. I filled her in on my catastrophe dinner, and as usual, she's way too good for me.
"Don't overthink it," she says gently. "Hawk is being an asshole. Just distance yourself and keep your guard up."
"I'm trying," I sigh. "But every time I think I have some ounce of control, they swoop in and remind me that I don't."
Margot looks at me sternly. "YOU control your life. Not them. You're the boss here."
"Margot, he broke into my house," I groan, gulping down some wine. "I'm not even safe at home. I'm not safe at my parents' house. The only place I'm safe is at work, but if you could get in, then I have no doubt they could too. Hell, Hawk was already at the bar last night after work. They know everything."
"It's messed up," she agrees. "But I mean… they haven't hurt you. Right?" she asks for clarity.
I rock my head back and forth in thought. "Define hurt."
"Rayne," she says firmly. "Have they hurt you?"
"Not really," I mumble. "Not in that sense."
Her nose wrinkles up. "Look, I'm no stranger to a good spank, but… urgh. My brain will never recover from that image."
"Just imagine how I feel," I answer wistfully.