Chapter Seventeen
Grizz
“Why didn’t you call me?” I growl, staring down Tommy and Kelsey, though more at Tommy.
“She said she was okay, Grizz. And she seems fine,” Kelsey says. “She’s pregnant. Some of this is normal.”
“How do you—” I snap my mouth shut when she frowns and her eyes go all sad. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” I pull Kelsey in for a hug. “I’m sorry, Kels, I didn’t mean it. I’m just worried.”
“I know, Grizz. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I say firmly. “I shouldn’t take it out on you, and I shouldn’t make comments like that.”
I squeeze her tighter, then finally let her go. She gives me a reassuring smile.
“I love you,” I tell her, then look at my brother. “And I love you too. I’m so glad you’re both here, and I can’t thank you enough for helping her.”
“You know we want to,” Tommy says. “We want to be here.”
I hug him next. “Thanks.”
“Any time. You’re family.”
“We are family,” Kelsey adds.
I glance at Anastacia, hoping she’ll want to be part of this family once the baby is born too. There hasn’t been any talk of her leaving, but I don’t want her to.
I don’t know what the plan was when she was with Snapper, and if they even talked about her staying with the baby, but I brought her here so she would be safer, and we haven’t once talked about how long she would stay.
Neither of us have brought it up, but maybe we should.
She’s told me she likes to focus on the day, taking it one at a time, which I can understand.
After being through so much, it’s probably hard to look into the future and imagine one at all.
When you think you’re going to die, you don’t think about all the shit you’re going to miss out on. That only makes it worse.
But maybe if I keep telling her and showing her how safe she is, how wanted she is, how welcome she is, she’ll start planning a future. A future with me.
I scrub a hand down my face, then turn back to my brother and sister-in-law.
“Has she eaten?”
“She woke up late and had breakfast around lunch time. She fell asleep right after, so hasn’t eaten again,” Kelsey says. “I made dinner though. So there’s something for her to eat when she wakes.”
My brother puts his large hand on my shoulder. “Let her sleep; she obviously needs the rest. Let’s eat.”
“No, I want to wait for her. You two go ahead.”
With a long look, he finally nods, and they go into the kitchen.
Dishes and silverware clank softly as I head over to the recliner, angling it so it faces Anastacia instead of the TV and pulling it close enough that I can touch her.
I sit, and I watch, and I wait for her to wake up. Which happens nearly an hour later.
Her eyes flutter open, darting up to me.
A soft smile graces her perfect lips. Lips that I can not stop thinking about ever since she kissed me.
Sometimes, I don’t think it was real. That I imagined it.
Neither of us has said a word about it, and it hasn’t happened again.
Of course, that is the least of her concerns.
She’s about to have a baby. And if what happened today is any indication of what’s going on, it’s going to happen sooner rather than later.
We don’t know how far along she is exactly, Lucian was only able to guess, but I think it’s safe to say she’s around the forty-week mark, or at least close enough that delivering would be okay.
I hadn’t thought to ask what happens if she doesn’t go into labor… I know some women have to be induced, but we don’t have anything for that.
Snapper had said she was all set for a hospital visit over the border, that he handled it all, but when do we take her?
And how the hell are we going to get her through the woods so quickly?
Did he think of that? There’s a road for a lot of the way there, but then there are a couple miles that no car will go down smoothly.
If she’s in labor, bumps can’t be good, right?
And how quickly do babies come out? What if we wait too long and she has a baby in the middle of the damn woods?
“Hi,” she says in the softest, sweetest voice.
“Hi, Angel.”
Her smile widens, and I get up from the chair to kneel in front of her, brushing some hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Tired.”
“Are you hungry?”
“God yes.”
I chuckle. “Kelsey made some kind of pasta. I don’t know what it is, but it smells good.”
Her eyes dart to the windows, noting how dark it is. “Why haven’t you eaten yet?”
I run my hand over her head, unable to not touch her while I’m so close. I want to touch her always, to feel her and make her feel comfort. I want her to know that there are good touches, touches that feel good, and not everyone is a fucking monster.
“I wanted to wait for you.”
She pushes to sit up, groaning and wincing. I frown as I watch her, wanting to help but not knowing how.
“My back hurts,” she says.
“I can give you a massage,” I offer.
“That’s sweet, but I can’t lay on my stomach.”
“So lay on your side. I’ll figure it out.”
She holds my gaze, blinking a few times, then smiles. “After dinner?”
“After dinner.”
I get to my feet and hold my hand out for her to take and help her up. She hobbles into the kitchen, holding onto her belly. The pan of food is on top of the stove, covered in aluminum foil. There’s a plate beside it piled with garlic bread. I peek under the foil to get an idea of what was made.
“You like lasagna?” I ask.
“I’ve never had it.”
I do my best to hide my shock.
I don’t know much of her life before the Iron Runners had taken her, but what kind of life did she have if she’s never had such a simple meal? All sorts of pasta was a staple in this house, and it still is. I fucking love pasta.
I make us both a plate, heat them up in the microwave and pour us drinks while I wait for it to be done. The microwave beeps, and I bring the plates to the table so we can eat.
Her portion is half of mine, and she eats only half of that.
“I think the baby is taking up all the space,” she says with a laugh as she leans back, rubbing her stomach. I stare at her small hand and imagine what that little baby looks like and who they’ll be when they grow up. As sweet as their mother, I bet.
“Are you excited about meeting them?”
“More than anything,” she whispers.
I want to tell her that I’m happy too, but I don’t know if that’s too much. This isn’t my baby, and I have no ties to her. I’m just a guy helping her out.
I clean up the dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. I’m pretty sure Tommy and Kelsey are already in bed. They usually go to bed early and lie together to read while the TV plays in the background. It’s really fucking cute and makes me so damn jealous.
“If you’re tired, you can go back to sleep,” I say as I dry my hands on the dish towel.
“Actually, can we go for a walk?”
“A walk?” I scratch my head. “Like outside?”
She giggles. “Yes, but not far. Just down the driveway or the walkway around the house?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We get outside, the warm air hitting us as soon as I open the door. It’ll be cold soon enough, so we should get out here as much as we can before the air threatens to turn us into human popsicles. We walk down the path that leads to the side of the house and end up not far from where the garden is.
“I saw them working on it today,” Anastacia says. “They’re really happy together, huh?”
We take a seat on the bench that Tommy bought and put together today. I’m sure it’ll be moved around a ton of times before Kelsey finds the right spot for it.
“Yeah, they are. It’s kind of annoying.”
“I think it’s sweet.”
“Yeah, in an annoying way.”
She smiles, then leans over to rest her head against my shoulder. Her hand seeks out mine, and we lock our fingers together. We sit there peacefully together, nothing but the crickets to keep us company. It’s so peaceful and just really fucking nice.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“When did they take you?”
I hear nothing in her breathing that gives away how she feels about the question. There’s just a quick silence before she says, “They had me for almost two years.”
My stomach drops, my head falling back as I take that in. They had her for two years? Fuck. Those bastards.
“They’re going to pay for what they did to you,” I say softly.
She doesn’t respond. At least, not right away.
“I think they should pay for what they did to me, but also… without it I wouldn’t have my baby. And… my feelings about that are very confusing.”
“I can imagine they would be.” I lift my arm to put it around her and pull her close. “I want you to know that, no matter what, I am here for you. You and your baby can stay with me as long as you need, no questions asked, and I want nothing in return.”
Anastacia takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I am so scared, Grizz.” The fear in her voice has my throat getting tight. “I am scared every day. For me. For my baby. For… you.”
“Why for me?”
“You are a sweet, kind soul doing dirty work.”
“I’m not that kind,” I admit. “If you knew what I’ve done—”
She sits up abruptly, startling me.
“I don’t care what you’ve done, because I know you’d never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it,” she says firmly.
“I am not the kind of person who thinks some people don’t deserve pain.
Plenty of people do. Every single man who ever laid a finger on me, because it wasn’t just the Iron runners, deserves the worst kind of torture and death, and I have no shame in feeling that way. Neither should you.”
“I don’t,” I answer, shifting to face her to cup her cheeks.
It’s dark, just the lights along the path and the moon allowing us to see each other. “I don’t regret anything I’ve done because it’s been for a reason. A good reason. But other people…”
“They don’t understand.” Her hand comes up on top of mine. “But I do, and I think… that should matter, right? What I think about you matters?”
“Fuck, of course it does,” I say, leaning in to press my forehead to hers. “More than it should, probably.”
“Why?”
“Because I hardly know you, Anastacia, but fuck, I feel like I’ve known you forever while at the same time wanting to know everything about you. I want…” I trail off.
“What do you want?” she whispers.
“I want things with you I’ve never wanted before. Things that I should not ask you for.”
“Why?” she urges.
“Because it’s unfair of me to want anything from you after so much has been taken.”
Her hand falls from mine, and she cups my cheeks now too. She pulls back to look into my eyes.
“You’re the only man who hasn’t taken a single thing from me.
” My eyes fall closed, hating that for her.
“Look at me,” she whispers. So, I open my eyes.
“I don’t know how to do any of this. I don’t know what a normal relationship looks like.
I hardly know how to function as a human, never mind as a mother, which I’m about to be any day now.
But I know that I like having you around.
I like the way you make me feel. I’m protected and safe when I’m with you, and I never think you’re going to hurt me. ”
“I won’t. I would never.”
“I like when you have your hands on me, and I really like the way your lips felt.”
She brushes her thumb along my bottom lip, and they part instinctively. My dick gets a little excited too, I won’t lie.
“Kiss me,” I say, regretting the words the moment they come out. She’s being so sweet, spilling her guts to me with the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard in all my life, and I just want to jump to the physical stuff. What a fucking guy move.
But she doesn’t argue and doesn’t show a single sign of being mad or offended.
She just leans in and kisses me. And I kiss her right back, trying my damnedest to keep myself in check.
I’m a zero to a hundred kind of guy when it comes to the physical stuff, but with her?
It can’t be like that. Hell, I don’t want it to be.
I want to take my time with her. Enjoy it. Make sure she enjoys it—and wants it.
I’ve kissed plenty of girls. Too many girls to count. But none of them matter—they meant nothing. This though? I’ll never forget it.
Never forget how soft her lips are or her sweet taste—the way her tongue slides against mine tentatively, not as if she’s scared but more like she’s wondering if she’s doing it right—or if I like it.
My body starts to shake as I hold back the need to show her exactly how I feel about her, because that can’t happen.
Not now. It’s too fast. But I’ve never been a patient person.
When I want something, I take it. I’ve never had a reason not to give myself the things I want.
It was the only way I survived and didn’t go off the deep end.
But this isn’t about me. This is about her. And though she wants this too, it needs to be slow. Because I can’t fucking ruin this.