Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
Anastacia
Today was the most normal day of my life.
After my appointment, we went out to dinner, then walked down the busy main street, going in and out of the little shops. When the sun went down, it got colder, so we stopped at a cafe to get hot chocolate, then we went back to the cabin.
The fire is going, Dorothea is asleep in her travel crib, and Grizz is browsing through the stack of DVDs left here by visitors so we have something to watch since there isn’t cable.
“Well, we have Sweet Home Alabama or The Bourne Identity,” he says, holding them both up for me to see.
“I don’t know what either of those are, so you pick.”
He raises a brow, looking between the two movies so much it’s almost comical. Clearly, it’s a difficult decision for him.
“Guess we’ll go with the romantic one.”
“Oh, romance?” I question, waggling my brows.
He puts the other movie on the shelf, on top of those that didn’t make the cut, before going over to the DVD player and putting the movie in. Trailers for other movies start to play while Grizz gets comfortable on the couch. I haven’t heard of any of these.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice is low, cautious almost.
“Anything,” I say, taking his hand.
He doesn’t look at me, and it has my stomach in knots. What if he brought me here to give me bad news? Like that we can’t be together any more, or… I don’t even know. I’m not sure what would be worse than that.
“What was your life like before you were taken?” Finally he turns his head to look at me, and I try not to act relieved.
“You’ve made some comments about your mom here and there, and I can only imagine what it was like with them, but you seem so…
Fuck.” His head falls back and he looks up at the ceiling.
“I don’t know how to say what I want to say without sounding like a dick. ”
I squeeze his hand. “Just say it,” I tell him. “I won’t be upset.”
A moment passes before he lifts his head to look at me again.
“You seem to not know anything about the present time, about today. Too much for only two years when they had you. It’s like…
you’ve been caged up since birth. I mean, you’ve never heard of either of the movies I mentioned and they were the most popular over there.
You were amazed at all the things in the stores we saw today.
The first time I let you use my cell, you were confused as hell. ”
His words are full of concern and sadness and it has my eyes filling with tears. He’s right, and I hate it. I hate that this was my life. I hate that I’ve been so sheltered, which is why I try not to think about it too much. I just have to move forward.
“And I’ve never even asked you a pretty important question,” he says carefully, his own voice raspy. “I should have. I thought about it, but I didn’t because I was afraid of the answer. Not in the way you think, but I was terrified you’d tell me you didn’t know. And I could not have handled that.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat and say, “Ask it.”
He pauses, letting out a breath before he says, “How old are you?”
I knew that was coming, so I’m not surprised when the words fall from his lips. It’s something we’ve never talked about, but like him, I’ve wondered too.
Of course he knows I’m old enough because we’ve talked about alcohol and drinking, but he doesn’t know exactly how old I am, just like I don’t know how old he is.
It doesn’t matter though. His age is nothing.
I wouldn’t care if he was twenty or sixty.
The way he makes me feel is worth everything.
That is the only important thing here. The only number I care about is the number of years we get to spend together.
I turn to face him more, licking my dry lips. “I’m twenty-five, but…” I pause to take a breath. I’ve accepted this, but he may not take it well. “I didn’t realize that until I was at Kolton’s and learned what year it was, which was also when I figured out how long they had me.”
His jaw clenches, nostrils flaring.
He’s angry. There’s no doubt about it.
“Grizz, I don’t want you angry about this stuff. I just—”
“How can I not be?” he snaps, but I know it’s not at me.
“I just want to move on from it.”
“And let them get away with it?”
I shake my head, sitting up straighter.
“I can’t live my life trying to get revenge. What kind of life is that? I have a daughter. I have you. I’m happy, Grizz. I just want to forget about all of it and move on. I want to have a normal life.”
He pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle him. He cups my cheeks. “You are so fucking brave and strong, but I can’t agree with that. I’ve gone back and forth on what to do about this, and it keeps going back to one thing.”
“What?” I ask.
He gives me the smallest shake of his head. “It’s better that you don’t know—”
“Grizz—”
“Angel, please. I’m sorry. I know I can’t say shit like that and expect you to forget it. I’m just a mess over all this shit. I know it’s new to me, and you’ve had time to deal with it. But I love you so much. So fucking much. And the thought of what happened to you…”
“Stop thinking about it, then.” Tears form in my eyes again. “That’s what I do.” I huff a humorless laugh. “I pretend that was all someone else’s life. Not mine.”
He frowns, jaw tensing again.
“Just think about our future,” I plead.
Holding my gaze, he finally nods.
“I think about it every single day.”
I smile, my chest tightening with emotion. “Me too.”
Tucking some hair behind my ear, he smiles softly. “What do you think about?”
Good. A safe subject. A happy subject.
“Dorothea running around in the yard on a summer day. Having more babies.” I press my hands to his chest, right over his heart. “Getting married.”
“You want that?” he asks, his hands sliding up my hips.
“So much. But…”
“But what, Angel?”
“Only if it’s with you.”
His response is to kiss me, soft and slow. Then he helps me back onto the couch, and I cuddle into his side as he presses play on the remote and the movie starts.