Chapter Fifty-Three
Anastacia
I wring my hands together, pacing the hallway as I wait for the doorbell to ring. He’s five minutes late already, and part of me is worried he won’t show up.
I miss him so much it’s crazy, but this isn’t about that. I can’t make this about us, this is about our baby… both of them.
“God, this is going to go terribly,” I mutter, walking over to the fridge to get a bottle of water.
I press it to my forehead before opening it and taking a sip.
The doorbell rings, and I almost choke on the water.
I put the bottle down so fast it falls over, then drops onto the floor.
The cap pops off and water spills all over.
I curse as I swipe it off the floor, then frantically look for something to wipe the water up with.
“Hey, let me help you,” Lucian says.
“The doorbell—”
“He will wait.” His hands are on my shoulders and he urges me up, so I stand here. He gives me a soft smile. “Just breathe. You’ve got this.”
I nod and take a breath, like he says.
“Now, do you want me to get the door or clean this up? I can also do both.”
I think about that for a moment, watching the water trail through the grout on the tiles. He’s been working on this house, and here I am ruining all the hard work.
“I’ll get the door.”
“You’ve got this,” he whispers, giving my arm a squeeze. He moves past me to the closet and pulls out a mop—why didn’t I think of that?
The doorbell rings again. I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, then make my way to it. I already know it’s him, but that doesn’t stop the breath from catching in my throat when I open it and see him standing there.
From the first moment I saw him, I was attracted to him. This big mountain of a man who literally looks part bear. His size instantly made me feel safe, and then I got to know him and everything else about him did too. He’s a protector by nature… yet, he’s the one who hurt me.
“Hey,” he says, letting out a sigh.
“Hi.”
I move aside, letting him in. I don’t know if he’s ever been here before, so I gesture toward the living room that’s on the right.
“Is Dorothea sleeping?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“How’s she been?”
I so badly want him to ask about me, show me that he still cares, but him asking about our daughter first… it says so much about him.
“She’s good. Sleeping more through the night.”
“That’s good. That’s really good.” He nods, then just stares at me.
I clear my throat and gesture to the couch. He sits and I sit on the other end. I’m afraid if I sit too close, I’ll be tempted to lean against him like I always would before.
“You look good,” he says, as if it’s been months. It’s only been a couple of weeks.
“Thank you.”
I ring my hands together nervously in my lap, not sure how to start this conversation. I know what I need to say, and it’s on the tip of my tongue. This should be a happy moment. This is good news. Yet, it feels like I’m delivering terrible news. I hate that.
“So, uh… what did you need to talk about?” he asks.
I watch him, taking in every feature of his face. His dark, kind eyes. His thick beard, wavy hair. Someone who didn’t know him would think he’s just fine, but I see how tired he is. I see the pain there, the hurt. Maybe I just see it because it’s how I feel too.
“There’s something we need to talk about.”
“Okay,” he says carefully, concern etching his face.
“What’s going on?” He shifts on the couch, and I get up, unable to look at him any longer.
I go to the window, staring out at the vast yard and the feet of snow piled up against the trees.
There is so much snow out here, it’s scary.
Someone could easily get lost in all that.
“Angel…”
“Don’t do that,” I say shakily.
“Do what?” he asks, getting up from the couch and coming to stand beside me.
“You can’t just pretend everything is okay.”
“I want it to be,” he says. “It can be, if you’d just listen—”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Grizz,” I say sharply, turning to face him.
It was a bad idea, because the pain I see on his face almost brings me to my knees.
He steps closer, hands coming up like he wants to touch me, but he pauses, thinking better of it and dropping them.
“Angel, please… I can’t do this anymore,” he pleads. “I need to be with you. I hate this. Just hear me out.”
I search his eyes, so badly wanting to tell him what I need to tell him, but I just can’t.
All I can think about it what he did, and how he almost got Dorothea killed.
He led her father, that monster, straight to us by doing something I told him not to do.
He deliberately went against my wishes and lied to me about it.
“I’m sorry, this was a mistake,” I say with tears in my eyes.
I rush past him, down the hall and into Dorothea’s room.
I close the door and hear deep voices on the other side.
I can’t make out what they’re saying, but they don’t sound like they’re fighting.
Just having a slightly heated conversation.
Grizz obviously doesn’t want to leave. And either Kolton or Lucian is telling him that he needs to. I can’t thank them enough for what they do for me.
I stay in the room, waiting him out. A short time later, an engines rumbles to life and tires sound on the snow. I breathe out a sigh of relief, just as there’s a knock on the door.
I open it and find Kolton on the other side.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
My heart jumps into my throat as a hundred terrible things go through my mind. What could he possibly have to tell me? Especially in that tone.
I step out of the room and we go into the kitchen. He gestures for me to sit on one of the stools at the island, while he stands on the other side, hands flat on the counter and leaning forward.
“You’re not going to like what I have to say, but you need to listen to me.”
“Okay…” I say carefully. My heart starts to pound, jumping all the way into my throat.
Kolton stares at me for a long moment before saying, “I think you need to hear him out.”
“Wh-what?”
“You don’t have the full story.”
My chest gets tight as I think over what he said. Is he going against me now too?
“You think him lying to me is okay?”
“Absolutely not,” he says with a firm shake of his head. “Lying is not okay, and I told him as much. But what you think happened? It’s not the truth.”
“And how am I supposed to know what the truth is?” I snap. “After he lied to me, how will I trust him again?”
“That’s not something I can answer, Anastacia. All I can say is that you learn to do it.” A bang sounds upstairs, from where Lucian is working in one of the rooms. Kolton’s eyes drift upward for a moment and he says, “If you love someone enough, you figure it out.”
If you love someone enough…
Maybe I don’t love Grizz enough then, because I don’t think I can forgive him for this.