Chapter Fifty-Five
Anastacia
When I wake in the morning, the call is still going.
Eight hours and seventeen minutes.
I smile to myself, hugging my pillow a little tighter. He stayed on the phone with me all night. Dorothea slept all night. I feel good right now. Rested. Positive.
I don’t want to end the call, but the sooner I get my stuff packed, the sooner I can let him know to come get me.
Clanking echoes down the hall, telling me someone is up. Lucian probably, since he’s the one who does the cooking. I should tell him my plan before I start to pack anything. It’s the least I can do.
I get out of bed and use the bathroom before checking on Dorothea. She looks up at me when I stand over her travel crib, and she gives me the biggest, brightest smile.
“Good morning, sweet girl.” I lean down to pick her up. She makes the sweetest noises of excitement, kicking her little feet. “Let’s get you changed, then I’ll feed you.”
I change her diaper, her clothes, then sit in the rocker and nurse her. I left my phone in the bedroom, so it’s possible Grizz has called back already, but I’ll check shortly. She feeds quickly this morning, and when she’s all set, I take her with me into the kitchen.
“Morning,” Lucian says cheerily, standing over the stove with something in a pan.
“Good morning,” I return, then look down at Dorothea. “Can you say hello to Uncle Lucian?”
He chuckles, flips what looks like a pancake, then comes over to kiss her head.
“She’s getting so big.”
“You’re telling me.” I hoist her up a little more, then take a seat on the stool by the island and rest some of her weight on my thigh. “Can we talk about something?”
“Of course,” Lucian says, going back to the stove. “What’s on your mind?”
“Well, Grizz and I talked last night, and he’s going to—”
The doorbell rings, causing both of us to look that way. Lucian’s gaze comes back to me.
“I can guess what the rest of that sentence was going to be,” he says, amused, as he walks away.
“Good morning to you too,” Lucian says as Grizz rounds the corner.
He searches for me frantically, and the moment his eyes are on me, he rushes over, taking my face between his hands.
His lips are cold, but soft, and I missed them so damn much.
I deepen it, sliding my tongue into his mouth and grabbing the back of his neck with my free hand.
He groans deeply, and I feel the need and want in this kiss. It’s not sexual, though I’m sure it could turn that way quickly. No, this is him missing me, showing me he loves me and wants me and needs me. This is so much more than just sex, and it’s been that way with us from the beginning.
“Let me see my baby,” he says as he pulls away, reaching for Dorothea. I pass her over, and tears pool in my eyes as I watch him cradle her against his chest, kissing the top of her head over and over. I need to tell him. I so badly need to tell him.
I get to my feet, running my hands over my pajama pants to get rid of my sweaty palms. I don’t know why I’m nervous about this.
He’s going to be so happy. We talked about this before, many times.
And it’s not that we didn’t realize this could happen…
we knew it could. Hell, we knew it would.
We never used protection, not once. And maybe that was stupid.
I should let my body heal more after just having Dorothea, but that didn’t feel right.
If I’m meant to be pregnant, I’ll be pregnant.
I trust Grizz with my life, and with our child’s life.
That’s why it was so hard to believe what happened, and why it hurt so much.
It didn’t make sense. But now that I have the full story? Well, I can make sense of it all.
Am I still upset? Yeah, I am. He lied to me.
But I’m starting to understand why he did it.
It was to protect us, and sure, there was anger in there, too.
Spite, and the need to get revenge. Had he just killed Gunner, we’d have had a different conversation.
But he kept him for… weeks, if I think about it.
I’ve always known what he’s capable of, and maybe I should be afraid of him for it, but I’m not. I’m grateful. Grateful to have a man who wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone who threatens me and our family.
So yes, I am still upset with him for lying, and I hope he knows moving forward there will be no more lies.
Even if it’s something I don’t want to hear, he better tell me.
I won’t forget what happened, but I can move forward because I love him.
Enough. Not only enough, but more than I can fathom.
I want a future with him, and I am so glad we were able to work this out.
I am so happy that he isn’t a horrible person like I thought he was for a short time.
And seeing him now, with our daughter, whispering sweet things to her, I want to melt.
He leans down, puckering his lips and I smile as I lean up to kiss him. His arm comes around me, pulling me close.
“I love you,” he whispers against my hair, kissing my head. “I love you so much, and I can’t wait for you to come home.”
“I just need to pack,” I say.
“I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I’ll get it done.”
I give him a smile, but it’s forced, and it’s clear he knows that.
“What’s wrong?” he asks softly, rocking Dorothea gently.
Lucian disappeared at some point, the pancake mix and made pancakes still sitting on the counter. I appreciate him being able to read the room, or maybe he just didn’t want to see us making out like teenagers.
“Uh… there’s still something I need to talk to you about.”
His brow furrows and he stops moving. “What is it?”
He thinks something is wrong, and I hate that.
Just tell him, Anastacia. Just say it!
I ring my hands together and look him in the eye.
“I’m… pregnant.”
He blinks at me, almost comically. Then a whoosh of air leaves his lungs. “You’re pregnant?” he asks. I nod. “With my baby?” It isn’t accusatory or like he doesn’t believe me, it’s just like he can’t believe it at all.
“Yes,” I say with a small shrug. “We’re having another baby.”
His face goes blank, and then the biggest smile splits his face. His gaze drops to my belly, and then he drops to his knees, still holding Dorothea close to him. He lifts my shirt up and presses a kiss to my stomach before pressing his cheek against it.
“I love you.”
I know it isn’t meant for me—and I am completely okay with it.