Chapter 35
Iget back to my hut and tear the place up in anger, throwing over the coffee table and sliding everything off the kitchen side. Gripping the edge with both my hands I finally take a breath. I wanna hate her for her deception, but all I can think about is the fact I just sent her off in that death trap of a car, with her rapist still somewhere out there. I don’t doubt that part of Peyton's story. You can’t fake the cold sweats that girl had some nights while she was lying next to me.
But the Reapers. The fuckin’ Reapers. How could I have been so stupid? I put my fist through one of the cupboard doors in front of me outta frustration.
This only proves what an idiot I can be, how if I want something bad enough I’ll believe anything. I take the ring out of my pocket that I was gonna give her at the fundraiser today.
Sure, it’s only been a few weeks, but in those few weeks, Peyton turned my life around. She made me excited to build a future here and it was all based on lies and deception. I toss the thing across the room and slump myself into the kitchen chair, scrubbing my hand over my face, needing to make someone fucking hurt for the pain she’s put inside me.
I open my eyes when I hear that familiar squawking sound and see the raven she’s been taking such good care of, hopping up onto the table in front of me. It’s hard to believe that someone who was so kind and nurturing could cause so much damage and I wish Peyton could understand the pain she’s caused me.
I imagine wrapping my hand around her little black-feathered friend's body and crushing the life outta it. But instead, I pick up one of the seeds she keeps in a bowl and feed it to him.
He pecks it outta my finger and I slide back into the chair and grip at my hair to stop me from rushing to my bike and going after her.
I should have learned from my past that in this life there can only be one thing that matters. Men like me can’t have the best of both worlds.
“Sorry to interrupt ya, Boss.” The door to my hut opens, and when Ruckus steps inside, I can see from the look on his face that he’s feeling awkward.
“Wrath sent Dev, Saint, and Rocco off to get rid of the Reapers' bodies. He sent me down here to ask what you want us to do with Griller.” He looks down sadly.
I stare at the table feeling numb. We lost a member of the club today due to my stupidity.
“I’ll call his mother.” I lean forward and rest my elbows on the table.
“For now take him into church, lay him out on the table, and have one of the girls clean him up.”
“Sure thing.” He turns to leave but stops himself.
“Look, Raze. I don’t know what all that shit with Peyton and the Reapers was about but–”
“That’s not our concern anymore,” I interrupt him, I don’t wanna discuss her right now. I have to think straight and move fast. The Reapers need to pay for what they did here today and right now I’m feeling in the mood to live up to my name.
My men don’t seem to have the same fighting spirit when I head back up to the club a few hours later. Everyone’s sitting around with somber faces. The door to church is open and I can see Alicia sitting in Wrath’s chair crying as she holds Griller’s hand in hers.
A guy I don’t recognize closes up his medical bag and nods to Ruckus and I watch Ruckus hand him some cash before I move to the bar and stand beside Wrath.
“Whiskey, straight,” I tell Polly, noticing the way he’s looking at me but choosing to ignore it. I know he’d taken a fondness to Peyton, everyone around here did. But I have to stick to my word and think logically. We can’t have people here who we don’t trust.
“I’ll make sure the club reimburses you for that,” I tell Ruckus after he’s seen the guy out and joins us, then picking up my whiskey I knock it back. “What a fuckin’ day.” I shake my head.
“What a fuckin’ day… Is that all you got to say? Griller’s fuckin’ dead.” Wrath raises his voice at me and sends the whole club into silence.
“I know that, Wrath, I’m the one who just had to call his mom and tell her she won’t be seeing her boy this Sunday.” I stand up a little straighter, because I can feel all that tension that’s been brewing between us since he arrived has reached its head.
“You let her go.” He steps into my space and shakes his head in disappointment. “You threw the woman you love out on the streets before you gave her any chance to fuckin’ explain.” I feel my pulse tick when he mentions Peyton. How fuckin’ dare he?
“She was a liar, and you know how I feel abo–”
“Why don’t you try bein’ fuckin’ honest with yourself, Raze? You’ve been waiting for somethin’ like this to happen so you could push her away.” He shakes his head at me as if I’m the one who let him down.
“Who the fuck d’ya think you’re speakin’ to?” I shove him in the shoulder to knock him back. Wrath needs to shut his mouth and sit the fuck down.
“I’m speakin’ to someone I used to look up to, someone I wanted to be once, and someone who I fuckin failed,” he admits, not caring who hears him. “You preach to everyone about how you value fuckin’ honesty but you lied to me.” His bright blue eyes glisten with more than just rage, Aaron Adams is hurting.
“I ain’t ever lied to you.” I shake my head, maybe I’ve kept quiet on a few matters that no longer concern him but never have I lied.
“You told me you’d forgiven me for what happened to Eden, but you haven’t. I see the fuckin’ disappointment in your eyes every time you look at me. And I know for damn sure that you didn’t ask me to come back here to help you build this place up. You dragged me back to make me suffer it with you because deep down, you wanna punish me.”
“You got it all wrong.” I turn my back on him and head for the door, I ain’t got the energy for this, not after all that’s happened today.
“That’s right, Raze, walk away. Just like you always do. What happened to the fighter in you?”
“Oh, shit.” I hear Ruckus speak under his breath when I stop and slowly turn back around.
“There he is.” Wrath winds me up some more “So we gonna go one on one?” He cracks his knuckles.
“You don’t want that kid.” I shake my head.
“See that’s where you’re wrong. I’m not a kid anymore, and the only way we’re gonna settle all this tension between us is if we get this done. I challenge you to the pool pit.”
Everyone in the room seems to hold onto their breaths as he rips off the shirt he’s wearing, slams it at the floor then heads out the door toward the empty swimming pool.
Wrath knows me better than anyone else here, he doesn’t need to wait for an answer, and he knows I never back down from a challenge.
I look toward Ruckus whose eyes are wide and shocked and when I start moving towards the door, everyone whispers with excitement as they follow me out.
“I’m gonna give you one last chance to back out of this,” I warn Wrath, who's already in the pit, and once he’s finished tying his long hair up on top of his head he proves there ain’t no backing out when he starts bouncing on his feet.
“You're makin’ a mistake,” I remove my cut and hand it to Dev, then pull my tee up over my head and take off my watch.
“I’ve made enough of ‘em, and I usually learn somethin’ valuable outta it, so do your worst,” he tells me cockily as I use the ladder to climb down and join him.
“Now’s your chance, Raze, you can do what you really wanted to do when I came to you all those years ago and told ya what I did,” he taunts me. “But beatin’ my ass ain’t enough is it, you know I can take a hit, you taught me how to. I guess what ya did here had a better effect, because askin’ me to come here and be at your side to make this place better, really fuckin’ meant somethin’ to me. It was everythin’ I fuckin’ needed. I was losin’ it, Raze, and you gave me some fuckin hope. I guess you really know how to destroy.”
“Wrath, that’s not?—“
“I’m sorry for what happened with Eden, there ain’t no one in the world that regrets it more than I do, and I know you hate me, but we have to draw a line under it.”
“Hate you?” I charge forward and grip his shoulders slamming his body into the tiles behind him.
“Hate you? Wrath, you don’t have the first fuckin’ clue.” I hiss through my teeth.
“Then why? Why ask me back here to be your second and then treat me like a fuckin’ prospect?”
“I don’t hate you, Wrath.”
“How can you not after what I did.” He’s really trying to get me to throw the first punch, but instead, I slam my fist into the tiles beside his head.
“I told you that day that I forgave you and I meant it.”
“But you didn’t mean it.” He shakes his head.
“I meant every fuckin’ word, and that’s the reason you’re still here livin’ and fuckin’ breathin’ in front of me.” I take a deep breath and try not to lose control.
“What the fuck ya talkin’ about?” He shakes his head and frowns in confusion.
“I’m talkin’ about the fact that when my old man found out what you’d done he told me to bring him your fuckin’ head. He wanted you dead, and when I refused to do it, he told me he never wanted to see me again.” My voice echoes around the walls surrounding us and stuns him. “I never asked you to come back here to punish you, Wrath, I wanted you back here because you are the closest thing to a family that I got left.” I don’t care that all my members are gathered around the edge of the pool and can hear me. Maybe it’s about time I opened myself up to the men I call brothers. “I chose you over him. So don’t you ever fuckin tell me I ain’t forgiven ya.” I pull up my guard and wait for him to make the first strike because that's the only way this fight’s getting started.
He stares back at me like he’s in shock, his chest rising and falling like he’s still geared up for a fight, yet his body remains static.
“Emmm, Prez.” I look up when I hear Tawk’s voice and when I see an older-looking man who I don’t recognize standing next to him I shake my head.
“Not fuckin’ now.” I turn back to Wrath and wait for him to make his move.
“I believe you’ve been lookin’ for me.” It’s the old man who talks this time.
“I said not now.” I keep my eyes focused forward.
“I’m Billy Skillet.” Hearing what he just said has me dropping my guard and climbing the ladder.
“You must have some kinda death wish.” I storm toward him, pulling my fist back.
“You don't wanna do that?” A man I recognize from a real long time ago stands as a barrier between us.
“Kenny Longmire.” It’s been years, and I remember the last time I saw him he was shootin’ at Rex. I wouldn’t usually blame a man for that, but I will when he’s a fuckin’ Reaper.
“I believe you’ve been takin’ care of my little girl.” He stares me up and down, almost looking like he’s grateful.
“Hang on, you tellin’ me that Peyton is your daughter?”
“That’s what I’m tellin’ ya. I need to see her it’s urgent.”
“You came here to see her and you brought this piece of shit with you?” I stare at the scrawny cunt who I’m gonna fuckin’ kill, he can’t be more than 5ft fuckin’ 6 and looks nothing like what I expected.
“Do you know what he did to her?” I go for him again but Kenny takes hold of my shoulders and when Ruckus goes to intervene I shake my head at him.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off me.” I shove him back so hard he almost topples the old man over too. “You’re lucky to still be fuckin’ breathin’, Reaper.”
“I ain’t a Reaper no more, not since I learned what they were about.” He shakes his head. “I did time, and yeah, I ratted on ‘em but only because?—”
“You know what Kenny, I don’t wanna hear your story. I wanna rip the dick off this asshole and make him fuckin’ swallow it, so if you’d kindly step aside.”
“You got it wrong.” He stands firm in front of me. “Billy was accused of those things but he didn’t do it, trust me Raze I’m her Dad and I may not have been very present in her life but that wasn’t by choice. I’ve always looked out for her from a distance. It was me that told her to come here to keep her safe from the Reapers. I didn’t realize at the time that they were building up a Charter here.” I remember Peyton telling me that her dad was the one who sent her here but this still ain’t making no sense. I ain’t heard nothin’ about the Reapers trying to build a charter in Long Beach and Billy has to be guilty.
“You went to prison, I had Monkhouse look into your case, you pleaded guilty, why would you have done that if it wasn’t you who did it?”
“To protect her.” The gray-haired man looks me in the eyes and all I see inside ‘em is sadness. “I’d been with her mother since she was five years old. I loved her like a father.”
“You sick freak.” I go for him again but this time it’s Ruckus and Tawk who stop me.
“I think you should hear him out, Boss,” Ruckus says under his breath and I back down allowing Billy to continue.
“She was such a sweet girl and I knew that if she knew the truth it would destroy her. I spent years in a cell getting beaten up for being a?—-”
He can’t even say the word.
“Raze, we need to talk to her and it ain’t gonna be easy. I know from the calls we’ve been havin’ that she’s grown close to you. She doesn't know me, she’s gonna need you.” I can tell that that’s a hard thing for Kenny to admit, but it ain’t gonna solve his problem.
“She ain’t here.” I suddenly start to panic.
“What do you mean she ain’t here?” Her dad’s face goes blank.
“I mean, I kicked her outta here earlier when her brother came here to get her and I found out she’s been lying to me. I thought she was workin’ for them. They killed one of our members.”
“Wait, are you sayin’ Kane was here?” The two older men look at each other and I don’t like the exchange they make.
“Yeah, like I said, he came to get her.”
“And did she leave with him?” Her dad looks as if he wants to throttle me.
“No, he was long gone, but I don’t know where she is. Shit.” I turn around and kick one of the plastic chairs across the yard in frustration when I realize that I don’t know where she fuckin’ is. “I need to find her.” Suddenly nothing else matters, I should never have let her leave and I head straight for Dev so I can get the keys to my bike from my cut pocket.
“Raze, it was Kane.” The words that come out of Kenny’s mouth turn my blood cold and make my stomach knot.
“What did you just say?” I spin back around.
“I said, the person who was raping her was Kane.”
“But he’s her…” I can feel the world fuckin’ spinnin’ under my feet as my chest feels heavier and heavier to lift.
“I know, and that's why I did time in jail. No girl should ever have to suffer the thought of that,” Billy speaks up.
“I’m gonna kill him.” I go to head off again but her father pulls me back.
“First we need to find Peyton. Do you have any idea where she went?” He asks me and although his idea makes much more sense than mine. I still look down at the hand he’s got on me and remind him to remove it.
“No, I was so mad. I–”
“I know where she is.” Wrath steps up beside me. “I chased after her, told her not to listen to ya because I knew you’d regret it.” He shrugs. “She’s at my old man’s bungalow, at least that's where I told her to go, you know how she can be with followin’ orders.”
“I’m goin’ to get her. You…” I point at her father. “...You stay right here.”
“Hell no, I’m coming with you.” He moves to follow me.
“No, you need you to stay and tell this man everythin’ you know about that Charter the Reapers are tryin’ to build.” I slap my hand into Wrath’s chest.
“Raze, we took out three of their men today, if what he says is true we gotta move fast on this, strike while they’re weak and put an end to it.” Saul points out, still lookin’ pale from his injuries.
“I gotta go get my girl before I can think about that.” I’m relying on the fact Kane has no idea where she is right now. Once I’ve got her and groveled my ass into the ground. I’ll take her somewhere she’ll be safe until every Reaper and her brother are dead. I’ll bet not many people know about that ranch Burlusconi owns.
“Go get her. Let me lead these guys to take down that charter while they're weak, they’ll be lower in numbers and we got enough men. You can join us when you know Peyton’s safe.”
I look at Aaron Adams and realize that he’s right, he ain’t a boy no more and I’ve got to give him a chance to show everyone here why he’s gonna make the perfect VP.
“You heard him,” I tell everyone as I snatch my tee back from Dev and lift it over my head. “You all follow Wrath’s lead, arm up, ride out, and take down whatever you find of this charter. But Kane is mine. Nobody touches him until I get back.” I nod my head at Wrath, and the slight smile he gives me tells me that we left any grievances we had in the bottom of the empty pool pit.
I throw my cut on and step closer to Kenny.
“I’m puttin’ all my trust in the belief that you care enough about Peyton to be tellin’ me the truth, I hope for your sake I ain’t gonna regret it,” I warn him, knowing that this could all be a trap, but having little choice but to take that risk. I wanna believe that Peyton is innocent in all this. I have to because she’s mine and I was an idiot to think I could give her up.
“I put all my trust in you, Raze, you just didn’t know it.” He holds out his hand for me and I take it, shaking it firmly before I take the gun that Saint has ready for me, slide it into my jeans, and head for my bike.