Chapter 28
SUNDAY
Ihate it when the Reapers go out on a mission. There’s always a tense atmosphere left at the compound. The women attempt to conceal it, but it’s there, swirling around us like a bad smell, anxiety rife as we pray for our men to come home.
My thoughts are with Ashton, Lou, and Jennifer. They have more to lose than most of us because their families are at stake. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through, which is why I’m surprised to find Lou in the cafeteria, cleaning it vigorously.
“Hey.”
I approach with caution because she may not want any company right now.
“Sunday.”
Her smile is weak, unlike her usual broad one, and I say carefully, “Any news?”
“No.”
I note the anguish written like lines on her usually relaxed features and back away. “I’m sorry. I’m intruding.”
“No, stay. The distraction will help.”
“If you’re sure.”
She nods, filling the kettle and grabbing two freshly washed mugs from the dishwasher.
“Coffee?”
“Thank you.”
She sets about making the drinks and sighs. “When Brewer was shot all those years ago, I thought nothing would be worse than that.”
I heard about her husband. To my knowledge, he’s the only man down the Reapers ever had during a mission. He recovered, but it scared the shit out of them, and they learned their lesson through it.
“But our kids are involved. Jack is involved, and it’s as if a piece of me is bleeding out on the stone floor. What’s worse–”
She turns, and her stricken gaze tears my heart to shreds as her voice breaks. “I’m not there. I can’t be with him when he needs me most. I must rely on his father; God help him.”
She brushes a tear away, and I move swiftly, wrapping my arms around her as I hold her close, whispering, “I don’t rate the chances of the villains, Lou. You know the guys are the fiercest warriors. They are trained for this. They won’t let you down.”
“But what if they’re too late? It’s a possibility.”
I can’t argue with her there, and only the sound of the door opening distracts my attention from the usually hard-assed woman who is in pieces right now.
It doesn’t get any easier as Ashton and Jennifer head inside, searching for Lou, their eyes stricken with grief. I swear my heart plummets as I fear the worst and Ashton’s usually serene face is shrouded in turmoil.
“There you are, honey. We figured you could use some company.”
Jennifer is pale, her eyes dead, cold, vacant.
I am surplus to requirements here and in the way and say gently, “If you need me to stay, I will. If you want your space, I’ll leave you to it.”
Ashton rubs a tear away, and her smile falters. “Thanks, honey. It’s your decision. We’re shit company right now though.”
“Have you heard anything?”
Lou directs her question to Ashton, who is the most likely source of information.
“Not yet, but I have every faith in the guys.”
Jennifer says nothing, tears rolling down her face as she stares into the distance, and Ashton and Lou share a look, which I take as my cue to leave.
“You know where I am.”
They nod, too worried for conversation, and as I leave them to wait together, my heart thumps in fear of any potential bad news.
I have never seen the women so destroyed, and I’m nervous for the outcome of this mission.
I have every faith in the guys, but shit has a habit of becoming very real in life, and I pray this is not one of those times.
I attempt to distract myself and head to my small room. Razor’s condo is bigger than mine, but I love the pretty space that gives me the luxury of privacy.
When I head inside, the subject of family is weighing heavily on me, and I search for the untraceable phone that I have used only twice so far. I use it sparingly just in case; I would hate anything to happen to burst my bubble.
Ryder assured me the phone was clean, but I know Santiago and wouldn’t put anything past his ability to track me down.
He answers almost immediately.
“Josie.”
His voice is low, anxious, and my heart shifts.
“Dad.”
“Are you okay?”
“Of course.”
“You don’t sound okay.”
“I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“I miss you.”
Simple words that mean a lot, and I don’t attempt to wipe away the tears that drift down my face.
“Have you heard from my brothers?”
“Not enough.”
His low chuckle reassures me that they are okay.
“When do they get leave?”
“They didn’t say. They are probably overseas as usual, so it could be some time.”
“But they’re okay?”
I’m anxious for them because my brothers, along with my father, are my entire life and, outside of my feelings for Razor, they are all I have.
“How’s business?”
“Usual. I work all hours merely to pay for life.”
“But there are no extra payments to worry about?”
I reference Santiago’s debt he insisted my father owed him.
“No. The local MC has taken that burden off me. They are good guys. I am eternally grateful to your new friends for that.”
“I wish I could see you.”
I gulp back my emotions, and his voice drops a little. “I feel the same, but if anything happened to you because of me, I would never forgive myself.”
“I should go.”
Despite Lucy’s reassurances that the phone is untraceable, I’m aware that the more time I’m on it, the more likely they are to trace it, so I take a deep breath and whisper, “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, angel, and stay safe.”
I hang up, my tears a reminder that I will never be okay all the time that man still breathes. Santiago is the biggest threat to me and my family, and all the time he lives my fear will never diminish.