Prezidence
“Itold you that nigga was a fraud and you still dealt with him. Now look, he played yo’ stupid ass.
” I was beyond pissed the fuck off. Aveena was a nigga heart and soul, and her well-being was the only thing I was worried about.
Since we were kids seeing her smile had been the only focus a nigga had.
“Man shut the fuck up and listen to a nigga some damn time. All of this shit could’ve been avoided if you would’ve done that. I got way too much shit going on to be dealing with this.”
“Wow. Well, sorry for being a fuckin’ inconvenience.”
I heard the crack in her voice and that tugged at my heart instantly.
If she would’ve admitted to her feelings for me, she could be living a life that was stress-free.
As someone that knew her inside and out, I knew where she wanted to be.
However, she was too stubborn to let her feelings ride and enjoy real happiness.
My feelings were already expressed, and I wasn’t repeating myself.
I told her how I felt about her when we were kids and she laughed me off.
I wasn’t going for that rejection again.
She could like or love a nigga all day, but she could still refuse me in every way. That would hurt more than anything.
Most people thought that because I was so deep into the streets that I didn’t care about relationships and shit.
That was the complete opposite in fact. I cared but I wasn’t settling for anything or anyone.
If your name wasn’t Aveena Samuels, then I wasn’t budging.
It was that simple. I’d been in love with her for far too long and she’d been holding a nigga heart hostage for decades.
“You’re not an inconvenience, princess.”
I calmed down my tone and spoke to her with a little more respect. She was sensitive and I knew it. She also valued everything I said to her. She made it clear that I had more pull and say so than anyone in her life.
She wiped her face a few times which let me know she was crying.
Now those broke a nigga down like a fraction.
She found out that he was married and was unbothered but the minute I hurt her feelings she was in a pool of tears.
She was a big ass baby behind me. Her tears didn’t seem like they were going to stop anytime soon so we drove in silence to the crib. I couldn’t comfort her like this.
By the time we pulled up to the house she was no longer full out sobbing but was in small sniffles.
She was letting everything register and I guess it was hitting her harder than I thought it would.
I parked in the garage, and she sat for me to let her out.
Opening the door, I scooped her up and didn’t stop moving until we were in the master bedroom.
With me having the largest tub, I decided that we were going to relax together. I set her on the bed and went to set shit up in the bathroom. Regardless of what she was going through with that nigga, she had one that was willing to put that street shit aside and give her the treatment she deserved.
I lit the candles that were scattered throughout the room to set the tone as well as an incense.
The water was started, and the towels were removed from the linen closet.
I pulled out her toothbrush and laid it on the sink as well as her bonnet.
I walked back into the room to see her undressing.
I had seen her naked one too many times and it seemed like each time was better than the last, but I kept it moving and grabbed her robe from the closet.
This wasn’t the time to think on how I wanted to take her down and fuck the shit out of her.
“You ready?” I questioned as she stepped out of her panties. Nodding, she headed for the relaxing setup I fixed. When she submerged her body under water, I gave her a kiss on the forehead and went to step away but was stopped.
“Are you not joining me?”
“Nah. You need some time alone.”
“Prez…”
I knew what she was asking but I wasn’t trying to get tangled up in her web of confusion. I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be, but I couldn’t make decisions for her. Coming to me was going to have to be all her.
“Relax Princess. I’ll be back.” I took a few steps before I heard her exiting the tub. Turning around, I asked, “What you doing, Vee?”
“I won’t relax until you do it with me so I guess we both will be tensed up.”
She was stubborn and because of that, I knew she wasn’t going to let this go.
I removed my clothes and stepped into the tub without hesitation.
It was something a nigga had thought of often but never had the privilege to engage in such a thing.
She stepped back inside and centered herself in between my legs.
That skin-to-skin contact was something different.
“How you find out about his wife?” I threw the million-dollar question out there.
“She texted, I read the message, then opened the thread and saw what was really going on.”
“You had that nigga passcode?” She nodded, and I shook my head. If she had access to the nigga like that, then why the fuck did she wait to see what the fuck was up from the jump.
“To answer what you’re thinking, I didn’t think I had a reason to. No man and I do mean no man gave up their password so easily if they’re doing something they have no business.”
“Nah, that nigga been playing you from jump. You so damn ditzy that he knew giving you his password would give you security. Damn you gullible as hell.”
“Watch how you speak to me Prez. I mean it.”
After placing a kiss on her neck, I apologized. “My bad, princess. It won’t happen again.”
Silence found us as she stayed wrapped up in my arms. I could admit that it felt nice, but this wasn’t our reality. She was hurting and needed comfort but when this shit was over, she was going to go on about her day as if she didn’t see a nigga heart on his sleeve.
“Remember when we were kids, and your mom would make us little heart shaped cookies and tell us we were made for each other… I miss those days.”
“I asked her to make me a specific one to give to you and instead of you saying yes, you said no, and laughed like I was the butt of the joke. That hurt my feelings you know.”
“It did not.” She slapped my arm and laughed it off.
“It did. I learned how to keep my heart guarded and not even tap into my feelings anymore. You shut me down and that changed me in so many ways.”
She turned around to face me and when she seen how serious I was, I received a sympathetic glare. She wasn’t perfect and neither was I, but we meshed well and before she allowed us to even grow and mature together, she said fuck me and went on doing her.
“Really? I’m sorry Prez. We were ten and I didn’t know what a boyfriend was at the time. Why would you carry something like that for so long without speaking on it?”
“All it takes is for you to say no one time and I’m done trying. I wasn’t going to pressure you or make you love me the same way I loved you.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to be, and you know it. We’ve been each other’s priority for how long and you thought the best thing to do was hide your real intentions for me. And since when did your infatuation with me become love?”
“The only thing I’m infatuated with is your intelligence other than that, a nigga is in love with everything about you. When we moved next door to y’all, I begged my mom to go and play in your sandbox. She asked Ms. Lynn and after that, we met up in the sandbox every day.”
“We damn sure did. Rain, sleet, or snow, your behind was in my backyard eating up all my snacks.”
“What started out as a crush, grew into a strong like by the time we were in the fifth grade. Shit, middle school a nigga was die hard in love and it’s been the same ever since. I ain’t never want to be with somebody so bad the way I wanted to with you.”
She dropped her head, and I could tell she had her own lil debate going on with herself.
The time I spent going through women was me avoiding gaining feelings for anyone else.
I didn’t like how it felt to be so vulnerable, so I chose to do me and stay the fuck away from that love bullshit.
Sad thing was, I loved women. I just couldn’t be with them and give them the option to hurt me.
“Well, since we’re on the topic of feelings, I might as well tell you how I really feel about you too then, huh?”
She was still facing me but decided to get more comfortable by straddling my lap. We sat in the middle of the tub entangled like a couple that had been at this shit for years. I loved having her this close. This time felt more intimate than any other time we’d shared over the years.
“Do as you please princess. I’m not asking you to do a damn thing. I was simply telling you how a nigga been feeling all this time.”
She pressed her flesh against mine using her tongue to part my lips.
This was the first time we shared a kiss as such.
The sexual connection was flowing naturally, and it felt good to finally have the woman I loved attached to me.
She broke the kiss letting her thumb caress my cheeks.
She was secure in my arms, and I hadn’t planned on turning her loose.
“I have loved you since we were pre-teens. It wasn’t until I saw you with Talia McIntire that I realized I didn’t want to see you with anyone but me.
I dated to try and hide how I truly felt but it never really worked out.
The most I could do was care for someone but when it came to loving them or falling for them, my heart wouldn’t allow it. It’s always been you, Prez… always.”
“Yeah, I already knew that.”
“Huh? You knew?”
“Of course. I was just waiting on you to admit to it. I wasn’t making another move on you until you admitted to yourself that this was where you wanted to be.
I never made a bitch my woman for personal reasons, but I damn sure wasn’t letting them take a spot that was reserved for you and you alone. ”