Gia #2
Nothing Arin stated was a lie. I wanted to treat him like I did the niggas that occupied the position before him, but he did the complete opposite of them.
Whatever I asked for didn’t have to be repeated.
Whenever I called, he answered, and God forbid I had a bad day, he would do everything in his power to make it a better night.
Jason Parks wasn’t one of those and he stood ten toes behind everything he said and did.
“Let’s go. I think I have enough for the night. I need to clear my head,” I said deading the conversation.
After we paid for our items, we met back up at the car where Jason was already inside and waiting. I took the front once again and kept quiet. I was a talkative person but when he was around, his aura overpowered mine and I became calmer. I liked having him next to me, it was relaxing.
Silence surrounded us as we swung by a local restaurant and grabbed some food for the night. I would be rejuvenated by the morning to where I could go out and grocery shop for the house. I could throw down in the kitchen even though my occupation was a fierce ass lawyer.
We made it back to the house before the sun could set. The weather was beautiful and the view we had could make one get lost in thought. I immediately took to the upper balcony to enjoy my food and get some peace.
As I stuffed my face, memories of what my mother used to tell me as a child began to play in a loop.
Nobody is going to love a woman as selfish as you.
Her words were partially what made me give my love away so freely.
I was striving to be the opposite of what she thought of me.
Her having the last laugh would ultimately ruin me.
Before I could release the deep breath, I inhaled, I was picked up and placed in the lap of the man I was having torn thoughts about. As a natural reaction, I melted in his embrace. His arm wrapped around my waist holding me in place as he applied soft kisses to my bare back.
“You’re stubborn G.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. What do you want from me Jay?”
“You act cold but you’re far from it. You have this side of you that’s crying to be loved and I’m trying to do that but you’re pushing me away.”
He told not one lie. Thoughts of having a relationship with someone that reciprocated your emotions and genuineness seemed like the best thing out there, but the journey was damaging. You went through so many fuck niggas that when it came to a real nigga you were hesitant on what to do.
“I’m not pushing you away Jay. It’s called protecting my heart.”
“You’re doing something I’m skilled at. I can handle loving you, Gia. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I’ve known exactly what it was you needed. I’m a grown ass man that knows how to protect, provide, and profess. Tell me what’s the real reason you’re denying me.”
“I’ve been introduced to vibes men couldn’t maintain and I refuse to fall for the same thing again. I’m what you call a woman that’s fed up with being the fool.”
“Don’t be a fool then. However, being with me would be the smartest as well as easiest thing you ever had to do in life. All you have to do is be here and let a nigga love you. I get not knowing what real love looks like so receiving it seems foreign, but I promise you I’m not here to hurt you G.”
I knew he wasn’t, but I didn’t have any room left for disappointment. I was tired of believing men wanted something more than ass when the end goal had been clear from the jump.
“We’re on vacation. Let me enjoy it, please.”
“Have a good time but understand me when I say this, I’m leaving here with something.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You got six days to figure it out.”
Tapping my thigh, he was requesting for me to get up from his lap. I honored it and he left me by my lonesome. Thinking about a man while I was here wasn’t what was supposed to happen. I couldn’t avoid him though. He was going to be in my face whether I liked it or not.
Shaking off the emotions he bestowed upon me, I headed for the shower to get comfortable. I truly just wanted to relax in my room and maybe drift off to a movie afterward. Day one was already too much for me and I wasn’t about to get overwhelmed.
The day was washed off and I was stepping from underneath the steamy hot water thirty minutes later feeling relaxed and refreshed.
I handled the rest of my hygiene regarding my face and mouth before returning to the bedroom area.
I then dried off and ignored putting on clothes and hopped right into bed.
It felt good to finally lay down and give my body a break.
Light taps on the door sounded off as I reached for the remote on the nightstand.
“Come in,” I said not really in the mood for conversation.
Arin entered with a mixed drink in tow. She was going to be so disappointed when I declined it. I just wasn’t in the mood to drink right now.
“Hey best, I brought you a drink. Toya made them and I wanted to make sure you had one.”
“Thanks, but no thanks friend. I really don’t feel like doing anything but sleeping. I’m exhausted.”
“We all are but I thought we could enjoy a drink together. What’s on your mind?”
“Jason and all his empty promises.”
She made a confused face before she came and sat next to me. Arin was the friend that kept it all the way hot with you no matter what or who was involved. I appreciated her honesty even when I didn’t want to hear it.
“Now, I’m not the smartest but I’m pretty sure my friend has fallen in love with a man again. It’s okay if you have, you deserve happiness.”
I put the pillow over my face because I knew I was in love with Jason, but I was trying not to admit it.
I was in denial because admitting my truth seemed like a harder pill to swallow.
Both Jason and Arin were calling me out on my bullshit, and it was agonizing to hear.
I deserved happiness but I was aggravated with the process of gaining it. I was simply adjusting.
“I’m good with how things are.”
“You and I both know that’s a lie. You were just in the airport whining about this man not saying anything to you before this trip and now that he’s here, you’re showing no interest. I’m all for dogging these niggas but Kane is a good one and so is Jason. Treat him with a little more respect.”
“Bitch, you were just talking about doing you while you were here but now that I called your nigga you want to be all lovey dovey. Girl, get the hell out my face and take your own advice.”
I waved her off as I began to search for something to watch.
She was throwing stones when she was living in a glass house herself.
I’d never disrespected Jay because I knew the kind of man he was.
However, I didn’t want to fall down another rabbit hole looking over my shoulder waiting for the bad to happen.
Staying detached from him would prevent that.
“I am taking my own advice. I cut my side pieces off while we were on the beach. Kane texted from the plane saying he was a few hours away and that made me think a lot. No other nigga is willing to fly across the world just to spend time with me, he is. Toya put me in my place and now I’m doing the same for you.
I’d be wrong if I didn’t. Give my future brother-in-law a chance. ”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling showing my lack of interest in this conversation. The only person that deserved my explanation and why I was afraid to truly commit was Jason. I loved Arin but putting me in my place didn’t do what she thought it would.
“I said no thanks to the drink already. Can I have some privacy now?” I was tired of talking about my love life.
“You putting me out because you know I’m right. It’s whatever though. Sip on this and think about what I said.”
She placed the chilled drink on the nightstand and exited the same way she entered.
It was a relief because I was on the verge of dismantling our friendship.
Somewhere along the line, Jason had become a sore subject to discuss.
He was causing me to be in my feelings more than I ever had behind a man and that was scaring the fuck out of me.