Chapter 2
Age Eighteen
I don’t know what I’m doing here. Prom. What a joke. It’s not like anyone asked me to come. And Haven left a note in my locker a month ago that said: “If you dare show your disgusting face at prom, you’ll regret it.”
She hadn’t even bothered to type it out.
She’d written it in her easily recognizable handwriting, knowing that I don’t have the guts to report it to anyone.
Every teacher in school absolutely adores Haven.
I can just imagine their reaction if I showed them the note and told them I thought it was from Haven.
They’d tell me I don’t have enough proof, that anyone could imitate someone else’s handwriting.
They’d give another useless speech about bullying, blah, blah, blah, and at the end of the day, nothing would be achieved aside from me gaining a reputation as a snitch.
So I did nothing, and now it’s prom night and I find myself driving to school and selecting the darkest, most secluded spot to park at.
I just couldn’t stay away. I wanted to go, and, I don’t know, I guess torture myself by seeing everyone else there with their friends, all dressed up and looking beautiful and having fun.
What a cliché, huh? I guess part of me thought I could be like a character in those YA books where the female main character is way too cool to go to anything as dumb as the school prom.
I thought that maybe if I just went in my jeans and shirt and saw everybody else dressed to the nines, I’d be like, “Ha, who wants to go to prom anyway?”
But the truth is, as I sit here in my car watching people arrive, the thought They look dumb or anything like that never crosses my mind.
They actually look amazing, like models or influencers or whatever.
And I’m the one that looks dumb, sitting here in my hoodie and jeans, watching them like a total creep.
Tears fill my eyes, and for the hundredth time, I think: Please take me away from this existence.
I don’t want to exist anymore. It’s too painful.
Please, universe, please take me away, please just—
Something slams into my window. Holy shit. It’s Haven, both of her palms pressed up against my window. Adrenaline surges through my veins, my thoughts a manic scramble of fear and shame and so many other emotions I can’t even name. How the hell did I not see Haven approaching my car?
She grins at me, and in the darkness, her face looks grotesque, the mouth stretched painfully wide, her eyes lasered on mine.
She looks like a beautiful monster who wouldn’t think twice before ripping me apart.
As I watch, frozen, she takes her manicured finger and trails it from one side of her neck to the other.
A metallic taste fills the back of my mouth. I am this close to actually peeing myself. In all of my fantasies, I am a courageous heroine eager to face down her enemies. But in reality, I am so scared. So fearful. And so powerless.
Someone in the distance must have called out to Haven, because she turns her head and straightens up, that vicious grin quickly replaced by her usual gentle smile.
She shoots me another glare, then stalks off toward the school entrance, her svelte figure sashaying attractively.
No one would believe what I’d just seen.
The real Haven, unmasked, nothing but sharp claws and fangs.
Even I’m questioning it. Did that really happen?
Did I imagine it? That’s the problem with Haven.
Every awful thing she does to me is so quick and fleeting that I end up questioning my own sanity.
I grip my wheel hard and lick my lips, willing myself to calm down.
Once the adrenaline starts to ebb, tears rush into my eyes.
I spot Dani in the distance, waving at Haven.
The two of them skip with excitement and hug each other, and I can no longer stifle the sobs.
I wish I could describe the desolation I feel.
They’re all going to good colleges. Haven got into Stanford, and Dani’s going to Berkeley.
I just know they’re going to remain friends throughout college while I fade from their memories.
I am nothing. Just a blip in their lives that they won’t even remember, but I will always remember them.
I will always remember my friendship with Dani and how wonderful it was, and how Haven came and ruined everything, and even that wasn’t enough—she couldn’t stop there, after stealing Dani from me. She had to go and ruin everything else.
I didn’t get into any colleges. Miss Jordan, the guidance counselor, had sighed and said, “I did try to warn you, Fern. I told you that you needed extracurriculars. And didn’t I tell you to apply to safety schools?”
I told her that I tried, I really did, but that they all rejected me because of Haven.
But she wouldn’t believe me. No one believes me when I tell them what Haven’s done, and maybe that’s part of her genius, that she goes to extremes to torture me, to such lengths that it sounds ridiculous.
I mean, who’s going to believe me when I say that Haven went around bad-mouthing me to every club and every society so that they all rejected me?
It sounds crazy. But that’s Haven for you.
So now I’m gonna have to go to a community college for a while, and I’m so ashamed of it.
I’m such a huge failure. I don’t understand why I’m such a loser.
I have nothing, and she has everything, and it’s not right, because she’s so evil.
Why can’t we live in a world where evil people get what they deserve?