Chapter 5 #2
“Oh, that sounds fun.” Paisley’s gaze moved beyond my shoulder and she gestured with her chin. “Here she comes. Her name is Evangeline.”
My back was to the incoming sales associate. “Evangeline?”
Paisley shrugged. “It’s a Southern thing. Just wait until you run into your third Magnolia in one day.”
I was not looking forward to that. When I turned, I found myself facing a formidable woman.
She wasn’t young and trim as I’d been expecting.
No, she was in her sixties and wearing what could only be described as a muumuu.
It had big circles that looked like nipples—but technically weren’t—right where her breasts were located.
“Huh,” I said.
“Yeah, she’s fun,” Paisley said. “You’re going to like her.”
Something told me she was right. “Hello.”
I beamed at Evangeline because I couldn’t help myself.
She had a sour look on her face. I’d become accustomed to salespeople trying to wedge themselves so far up my butt that I couldn’t sit.
It was different from when I was a kid and people looked through us.
They’d pegged my mother as low income from the start.
Now that I was making money—not Stephen King money or anything, but I was doing fairly well—people could see me.
It was as if I exuded a musk. I didn’t know how to explain it.
“Your friend, here, says you don’t want sunshine blown up your vagina,” Evangeline said. “That’s why you asked for me, right?”
I nodded, fighting the urge to burst out laughing.
“You’re at the Landings?”
“I am.”
“They don’t like colored golf carts. They like them to be white or black. That’s it.”
I frowned. “That sounds boring.”
“Oh, it is.” Evangeline’s eyes twinkled. “Your friend said you wanted something bright, though. I have a workaround for the rule.”
She had my full attention. “How do you have a workaround for one of their rules?”
“Because up until three months ago, when I caught my husband cheating on me with the tart from the cabana bar, I lived there. I wanted a bright cart, but the wording was very specific … until I approached the board about a new cart that could help them get a green energy credit if they helped promote it.”
I knew exactly where this was going. “So you got them to work in a new cart with no color restrictions.”
“I did.” Evangeline bobbed her head. “At the time, they were only offering black carts and white carts. I happened to know that they would be offering a luxury line of colors down the line. But there was no mention of that in the brochure I provided them with.”
I couldn’t stop myself from asking the next question. “How did you know that they would go for the green carts?”
“Because there’s little that rich people love more than a tax shelter.”
“Okay, but not everybody at the Landings is filthy rich. I’m not filthy rich.”
“Not everybody is filthy rich,” she agreed. “You can’t even get through the door unless you’re above a certain threshold, though.”
That made me feel mildly guilty, but I kept that to myself. “What color can I get this green cart in?”
“There’re only three colors other than the standard black and white. Blue, red … and Barbie pink.”
I broke into a wide smile. “Are you serious?”
“Yup.”
“How much is it?”
“More than this one.” She tapped the side of the turquoise cart.
I swallowed hard. “How much more?”
“Not enough to stop you from wanting to screw them. I heard you guys when I was passing by. I’m looking forward to seeing what you do to tick off management.”
“I thought you said you didn’t live there any longer?”
“Only because my divorce hasn’t been settled. As soon as that happens, I’m going right back in.”
“And why is that?”
“Because much like you, I enjoy messing with the Marys, the Karens, and the Mary Karens. They’re going to hate you, for the record. That means I’m going to like you.”
I already liked her. Because of that, I glanced at the turquoise golf cart and made up my mind on the spot. “I’ll take the pink one.”
“It’s a smart move,” she said. “If you ever want to sell it, the resell is high on these things, compared to the standard ones, which are just like cars and depreciate in value the second you remove them from the showroom.”
“Fine.” I waved off the statement. “I want to win badly enough that I’m already sold on the idea.”
She broke into a wide grin that made her face warm and inviting. “Yup. I’m definitely going to like you.”
The feeling was mutual. “Just one thing.” I tapped my bottom lip. “Are there rules on tires? Like … can I get spinning wheels or something with sequins?”
She chuckled. “I’ll have to look it up.”
I rummaged for my credit card. “Do your worst.”
“I’ll be right back with the brochure and contracts.”
“Cool.” I gave her a thumbs-up and turned back to Paisley. “Do you think I can write off the golf cart if I get a story idea from having it?”
She shrugged. “I have no idea. It’s worth a try.”
I agreed.
“What are you going to do about the signings?” she asked. “Are you going to ask to be sent to different bars from Big Butt Bates?”
I shook my head. “The exact opposite. I’ve decided to treat him how I’m going to treat the board at the Landings.”
She giggled as if I’d just said the funniest thing in the world. “Are you being serious? You’re going to torture him? I thought you felt bad about what happened two years ago.”
“That was before he let himself into my house—he did not knock, no matter what he says—and acted like a snot. He’s got attitude with me, and it’s not warranted. What happened two years ago was an accident.”
“He obviously doesn’t see it that way.”
“That’s because he can’t find the fun in life. It’s not my problem.” I shook my head. “If he wants a game, which he clearly does, then I’m going to give him one.”
“You’re not going to stop until he cries, are you?”
“Nope. It’s on. I’m not putting up with his attitude.”
I didn’t say what I was really thinking.
In his eyes, that first day, I’d found the one thing I never wanted to see again—judgment.
It was the same thing I’d seen in the other parents’ eyes when my mother dropped me off at school with a coat and boots that didn’t fit.
People had looked at us as if we were low-class and I didn’t belong there.
I was never going to let anybody treat me that way again.