Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Once the kids swooped in to take over the pool, our writing afternoons shifted. We didn’t find a place outside that worked for either of us, so we started writing on my patio. At the same table. It wasn’t nearly as distracting as I’d thought it would be.
We wrote all week together. We didn’t even talk except during breaks.
I was comfortable with Brody in a way that I’d never felt with anybody else.
Since we hadn’t put a label on our relationship, I didn’t feel any pressure.
That was deliberate on his part, which I was well aware of, although I was sure he believed I was in the dark.
I knew. I just didn’t want to rock the boat. I hadn’t been this happy since… well, ever. It was humbling and exciting. I didn’t know where things were going, but I was comfortable with where they were. For now, that was enough.
Weekends, which used to be for writing or getting caught up on administrative tasks, were now for adventures.
Brody was a big fan of tours. He’d been on most of them before but was gung-ho to participate a second time.
Since I’d never been, I was excited as well.
There was little I loved more than a ghost tour.
We’d taken to making day trips into the city. We Ubered because it was easier than navigating traffic. Plus, it allowed us to drink and not worry about it. Most of the time, we headed downtown in the afternoon, had dinner, then went on a night tour. It was delightful.
Brody spent most of his time watching my reactions to the tours, but I pretended I didn’t notice.
He was attentive in a way I hadn’t known existed before hooking up with him.
None of my mother’s would-be suitors had ever treated her the way he treated me.
It got me to thinking, and I expressed my feelings on the subject during one weekend excursion.
“I think I’ve been anti Man my whole life,” I said as we got comfortable in the open-air hearse that would be our home for the next few hours. When Brody had told me there was a hearse tour—one he’d never been on—I’d been excited beyond belief. It didn’t hurt that he was just as thrilled.
“What?” He cast me a confused sidelong look.
I laughed. “I’m being serious.”
“You don’t like men?”
“No, I’m saying that I’ve been suspicious of men.”
“And now you’re not?”
It wasn’t as easy a question to answer as it should have been. “I’m not suspicious of you,” I said finally.
He laughed and took my hand. “That’s a good thing.”
It was. He had no idea. “My mother dated guys I inherently distrusted when I was growing up.”
His smile slipped. My mother almost always made it into our conversations.
He was pleasant to her in person, when we were at my house, but it was obvious he disliked her.
When I thought about things from his perspective, how my childhood must have sounded, I understood why he got agitated.
The thing was, I wanted to share the details of my childhood with him.
He was the only one I told these stories to.
I wasn’t looking for sympathy—the opposite really—but I needed him to understand me. The miraculous thing was he did. He listened, wasn’t afraid to give his opinion on my mother’s actions when raising me, but didn’t tell me what to do with her now. That was exactly what I needed.
“Your mother doesn’t strike me as somebody who has great taste in men,” he noted.
I frowned when the doors to the hearse shut, and I looked around. There were six empty seats. “Is it just us?” That didn’t seem economical.
“I rented out the entire car,” he confirmed.
“You did?” I fixed him with a curious look. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to share you with anybody.”
I laughed. “Why really?”
“That’s the reason. We can’t talk freely with other people around.
You know how I hate it when people figure out who we are.
” He frowned at a recent memory of two tourists recognizing our names during a cemetery trip.
They’d fawned all over us for two straight hours until we could no longer cope.
It should have been flattering. Instead, we didn’t feel as if we could talk openly.
It had been a stilted outing, to say the least.
“How expensive was this?” I was going to offer him money for my half, but the way his eyes narrowed had me stilling.
“I decided to rent the whole thing out. I’m covering the cost.” He tapped the end of my nose. “Not everything has to be tit for tat with us.”
He’d said that before. If he bought dinner one night, I insisted on paying the next night.
He kept saying it was unnecessary, but for years, I’d watched my mother use men for what they could give her.
I didn’t want him seeing me that way. It was possible I’d taken things too far at dinner three nights before when I’d tried to sneak the bill away from him when he was in the bathroom.
It was the only thing we ever argued about.
“Fine.” I blew out a sigh. “I’ll pay for next weekend’s adventure.”
He rolled his eyes. “You are too much sometimes.”
“That’s better than not being enough, right?”
“I prefer when you’re just enough.”
“And me letting you pay for everything is me being just enough?” I said. He wouldn’t appreciate the challenge in my voice, but there was no stopping me.
“It’s not about paying for everything. It’s about wanting to have fun with you and not worrying that you’re going to be constantly trying to balance the scales.
I want to do this with you. I did not want to risk people going nuts about the books during the tour.
” He hesitated. “I love my readers. I really do. Most of the time, people don’t recognize either of us.
I can be myself when it’s just the two of us. When it’s not…”
I knew what he wasn’t saying. “No swearing in front of readers. You never know who it might offend. No politics.” Not that we ever talked about politics.
In the current political climate, however, even making an offhand comment could end a career.
“It was a good idea to do this just for the two of us, but I’m worried it was a lot of money. ”
He shrugged. “Did you miss the part about me having a trust fund? I’m good.”
Dating a man with a trust fund felt so odd that I opted to gloss over that statement. “Anyway, what were we talking about?”
“How you’re no longer anti Man.”
“Oh, right.” I giggled and shook my head. “Before you, I always assumed something bad was going to happen in a relationship. That’s why I got out before people could get emotionally attached.”
“I have bad news for you. I’m already emotionally attached.”
It wasn’t bad news. I was happy to hear it. “I’m just saying I’m no longer anti Man.”
“See, I’m not sure if that bodes well for me if you want to be nicer to random men.”
I laughed again. “Fine. I’m still anti Man. I’m just pro you.”
His gaze was keen as it roamed my face, and I felt my cheeks heat. “I’m pro you too,” he whispered, leaning in for a kiss.
I sank into it. Everything about him filled me with emotions I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling.
He was all smiles when he pulled back. “Now, enjoy the tour. I think this is going to be a good one.”
It didn’t matter if it was going to be a good one or not. The night was already a winner simply because we were together. “Bring it on.”
WE’D HAD A LATE LUNCH IN ANTICIPATION OF the tour, but we were both famished once we were finished. I was ready for cocktails and food. The tour had been amazing, my favorite one yet.
“How do you feel about Mexican?” he asked as we surveyed the offerings. Jalapenos Mexican Grill was just across the road.
I nodded without hesitation. “Let’s do it.”
He held my hand to cross and didn’t let it go until we’d been seated at one of the tables with bright-red chairs. Selecting food was easy. I always got the same thing at Mexican restaurants.
“Steak fajitas,” I said to the server. “I’ll have the paloma margarita as well.” When I looked up, I found Brody watching me with unreadable eyes. “What? Why are you looking at me that way?” I immediately rubbed my finger between my front teeth, worried that there was something stuck there.
“Do you ever get anything other than fajitas when eating Mexican?” he asked.
I sighed. “No, but I really love fajitas.”
He didn’t give me a hard time about it. He just laughed.
“I’ll have the monster margarita—I think I’m going to need it—and the combination plate with the chicken burrito, beef taco, and chicken enchilada please.
” Once the server was gone, he focused on me.
“Maybe we should make it a goal to go out to a restaurant once a week and during that outing, you have to try something new.”
I frowned. “What if I don’t like the new thing?”
“Then you can order something else.”
“That seems like a waste of money.”
His frown grew deeper, to the point where I averted my gaze.
He could read me too well. He would understand that even though I didn’t need to worry about money the way I had when I was a kid, I still did.
This whole career could dry up without me having any control over it.
That was a fear I couldn’t get past. He didn’t immediately speak, which meant he was thinking things through.
I took advantage of his distraction and pointed. “Isn’t that your superfan?”
I honestly didn’t think it was her at first, just somebody who looked like her. Then I realized it really was Blair and darted my eyes back to him so I wouldn’t inadvertently make eye contact with her. “Don’t look,” I hissed.
It was too late. He was already looking over his shoulder. He did make eye contact with Blair. She seemed as surprised as I felt when she registered who was in the restaurant with her.
“Oh, crap,” Brody muttered as he jerked his chin back so he was facing me. “What are the odds?”
That was a good question. The server who had just left our table was at Blair’s table now to take her order. That meant she’d just sat down, which was … weird timing.
“We should leave.” He almost sounded desperate.
“We just ordered,” I argued.
“We can cancel the order.”
“They’ve probably already started making it.”
“I don’t care.” He shook his head. “I’ll pay, and we’ll go somewhere else.”
I balked. “No way. That’s wasteful.”
He gave me an exasperated look. On this, however, I stood my ground.
“I know you don’t get it.” I chose my words carefully. “You can’t. I’m incapable of being wasteful with food, though.” I looked down at my hands, my fingers gripped together. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t,” he said softly. He reached over, grabbed my hand, and carefully extricated my fingers from one another. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you have to be sorry about?”
“Because I’m wasteful, and I don’t even think about it.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” I let loose a hollow laugh. “You were raised in a world where you always knew where your next meal was coming from. I never went hungry, for the record.” For some reason, I needed him to know that. “It was just always a fear of mine.”
“You don’t have to explain why you feel the way you feel.” Frustration lined his features. “I’m being an idiot. it’s just … she’s going to give me an ulcer.”
A chuckle escaped me before I could stop it. “She can’t help herself. If she knew how upset she made you, she would try to adapt her behavior.”
“Try?”
“I don’t think she’s capable of not being who she is. When it’s a good trait, that’s not a bad thing. When it’s something like this, though…” I held out my hands and shrugged.
“Just don’t make eye contact with her. Maybe she’ll leave us alone,” he said.
He was dreaming, but I nodded all the same. “Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
WE MADE IT THROUGH DINNER BUT DIDN’T order a second cocktail.
Brody was desperate to leave. He suggested we find a different bar, but I was tired.
It had been a long day. I was ready to go home—his home—and get comfortable.
One of my favorite things to do was lie in his bed and share hilarious videos with him, shoulder to shoulder.
He paid, and for once, I didn’t argue. When it was time to make our escape, I hit the bathroom. He waited outside for me so Blair wouldn’t see him. When I left the bathroom, I found Blair in front of the hostess stand. She was between me and the exit.
Uh-oh.
“Hey!” I pasted a fake smile on my face. “I thought that was you across the restaurant. What a coincidence.”
“Yes, it was a surprise,” she agreed primly, bobbing her head. “You were with Brody.”
“Yes. We went on a tour to do some research and grabbed a bite to eat after. We’re heading home now.”
“Together?” Her voice was oddly thin.
“We live not too far from each other and shared an Uber,” I replied.
It was none of her business what we were doing. I wasn’t ashamed of my relationship with Brody, however undefined it was, but Blair was not the type of person I would share personal business with. Besides, if it turned out to be nothing but a fling, it would be difficult to explain later.
“Oh.” Relief blew through Blair like a summer breeze. “I guess that makes sense.” She leaned forward and gave me a knowing wink. “Why waste gas when you don’t have to?”
“Yes, I’m all about being green.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. I tried to do my part. That wasn’t why Brody and I were riding together, though. “I should probably go.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you at the next event.”
“Absolutely.” I was anxious to get away from her, and I found Brody waiting for me on the curb.
“Uber will be here in two minutes,” he said as I joined him.
“Great.” I slipped my hand into his without thinking and opted not to tell him about my run-in with Blair. “I’m ready to go home and see if I can find another crazy cat video for you.”
He laughed and kissed my cheek. “I love your cat videos.”
When I was strapped in the Uber and our driver was pulling away, I risked a glance back at the restaurant. Blair was on the other side of the glass door, watching us depart. I couldn’t see her face, but somehow, I knew she was frowning.