4. Elijah
Igo through the motions, completing the pre-shift checks on my patrol car. I’ve crossed the t’s and dotted the i’s hundreds of times. My car has never failed to be exactly as it needed to be. However, I’m not na?ve. I know it only takes one mistake, one careless day for something to go seriously wrong. In a job like mine, that mistake can be the difference between life or death. My life or someone else’s.
So, I check my list and I check it again. When I first started in the force, I used to check it three times, but I’ve convinced myself now that two is sufficient. There is such a thing as overkill, I discovered. I ignored the anxious feeling creeping up my neck as I put the clipboard down and climbed into the car. Usually, I go out on patrol with Officer Daines, but he’s away visiting family. I refuse to go out with anyone else. It was an argument I happily had with my superiors and they eventually relented. I didn’t shy away from confrontation.
Officer Jack Daines understands my ways and the importance of being thorough in how we go about our work. He’s worked on the force a long time and was good friends with my father. Since that night that changed my life, we became closer. I’ve always felt safe in his presence and I hoped he felt the same in mine. It was important to have someone you trusted by your side.
The same can’t be said for others in my department. Officers Lawrence and Taylor were two examples of officers who believed they were above it all. They allowed their egos to fuel their reactions. The people of Rosehaven deserved better than that.
The name rose to me should be a reminder of the beauty of the town and all that it represented. It was a small town, but the people took care of it. They were the ones who made it beautiful. A haven was supposed to be a safe place, a place of refuge. For the most part, the people were safe here. Crime rates weren’t what they were in the cities, that was for sure.
However, I don’t remember the last time I felt truly safe here and the beauty of this town faded fifteen years ago. It was a constant reminder of all of the mistakes I had ever made. I had debated moving several times, but I could never bring myself to take that step. This was my home. Even if it didn’t feel like it anymore.
I became a police officer to feel like I had some control. I want to make the town safe, to keep the people safe. My family still lived here, too. I would protect them and this town until I couldn’t do it anymore. I guess that’s why I couldn’t move–the people I loved the most were here and they needed me.
I wondered what it felt like to feel safe. I’d felt it once, hadn’t I? My parents had always made me feel safe when I was small. I feel like I walked through the first stages of my life with my eyes closed. But then one day they opened and I saw the world for what it truly was.
The darkness, the sadness, the evil all came right into view. I tried to close my eyes again, but they wouldn’t. I was desperate to go back to the way it was. I wanted to feel safe again, but no matter how hard I tried to close my eyes, they would never stay shut. I couldn’t block the memories out.
If I couldn’t feel safe, then I would make sure everybody else did. That was my duty, that was why I was here. Maybe one day I would finally catch the feeling I’d been chasing.
I pulled the car out of the station and started making my way around the local streets. I didn’t like sitting and waiting for a call. It wasn’t that I went out of my way looking for trouble, I wasn’t like that. I just felt better if I did a more active patrol, so that if and when a call came in, I was ready. A lot of the officers would park up somewhere and just wait all shift. That wasn’t in my nature. I moved around for nearly an hour before I finally pulled in for a break.
We lived in a quiet town so there was really no major need to be as active as I was, but I couldn’t help it. Sometimes I had to remind myself to take a step back and just breathe. I was getting better at it, or at least that’s what I told myself. Every day I took another step forward, a step further away from the past and to hopefully a better future.
A call over the radio broke my thoughts–two teenagers had been caught stealing at the local grocery store. Likely they were kids from the next town over.
The small towns kids weren’t stupid enough to steal from their own, mostly because everyone knew their name and faces so they’d never get away with it. Kids always went a town or two over to cause trouble.
“Officer Weatherston here, received and on route there now, over.” I barely let them finish explaining the situation before I answered and drove around the corner. Luckily, I was only about two minutes away and the streets were quiet, so no reason for sirens.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit disappointed to not get to use them; there was somewhat of an adrenaline rush when you had them on. Maybe I wasn’t so different from the other officers driven by egos, after all.
As I got out of the car, I could see the two teenagers arguing with the shop assistant just inside the door. The assistant took up the threshold of the door, blocking their exit. Upon seeing me, the shop assistant turned and unlocked the door, opening it to let me in.
“Right, why don’t you two–” The boys came barrelling past me, knocking me over and running down the high street. I cursed as I got up and started to run after them.
As I was closing the gap, one of them diverted off to the left. I had no choice but to pick one and go after them. I carried on straight, hoping I’d picked the slower of the two. I was just about to reach my hand out to grab the back of his shirt when I felt a shooting pain go through my leg as I fell to the ground.
“Fuck,” was the only word I could muster as I grabbed my leg. Fucking cramp. I tried to get myself to my feet, but couldn’t put weight properly on the leg and ended up back on the ground. By the time I was back standing, the boy was nowhere to be seen. I had lost him.
I had overdone it on my run and I had lost him. I hadn’t worked hard enough. I wasn’t good enough. I was letting everyone down. I’d made another mistake. I had taken my eye off the ball. I wasn’t good enough. I was never going to be good enough.
The words swam round my head as I tried to shake them off.
“FUCK!” I shouted louder this time.
“For fuck’s sake!” I yelled as I kicked a bin across the alley.
One kick wasn’t enough to satisfy my rage. I kicked it again and again, trying to expel the anger out of my body. I kicked it until it was dented and the pain was back in my leg.
I took a breath and made my way back to the shop to take statements. I still had a job to do.
I drove around for a while after I finished taking statements. I was hoping to get lucky and come across the two boys. I knew it was stupid–there was no way they would hang around after that, but I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t let it go. The rage still consumed me.
Eventually, I made myself give up. I could no longer ignore the rumbling of my stomach that told me it was lunch time. I picked something up from the drive-thru before heading to the outskirts of town. If I stayed down town, I wouldn’t be able to stop looking for them. I needed a break; I needed some quiet to calm down. My foul mood was infesting my space.
After pulling over on the side of the road, I pushed my head back and allowed my eyes to shut for a brief moment. Take deep breaths, that’s what the website had said, hadn’t it? I inhaled through my nose, only opening my eyes once I exhaled through my mouth. I did this a few more times hoping to feel a sense of calm, but it never came. I could still feel the anger running through me. I guess this bad mood was here to stay.
I ate my lunch in the quiet, I didn’t like to have music playing in the car whilst I was working. I found it too distracting. Just as I was about to get out to stretch my legs, I heard a car coming from behind. I watched as it passed, noticing the broken tail light as they slowed for a hole in the road.
I don’t know whether I was driven by my bad mood or my meticulous nature, but I put my car into drive and started heading towards them. As I got close, I flashed my siren briefly, letting them know I was pulling them over. They made no attempt to pull to the side.
“Pull over,” I muttered under my breath as I flashed the siren once more, waiting for their response. Nothing. They still made no attempt to start slowing down or pull to the side.
I felt that adrenaline push through as I readied myself for a chase. I’ve signalled them twice and nothing.
I turned on my siren again, but this time I kept it on, moving my vehicle closer to theirs in an attempt to get them to pull over.
A few moments passed and still they still made no attempt to move off to the side.
“I’m not in the mood for this.” I hit my fist on the wheel hard in frustration. Just as I was reaching for my radio to call for backup, they swung off to the side and parked.
I pulled in behind them and got out of the car, slamming my door behind me. I was fucking pissed.