13. Charlotte
Ihardly slept Friday night, but this time it wasn’t because I was anxious. I couldn’t wait to wake up Saturday and sort everything out. Alice and I had agreed to meet after breakfast at her mother’s, then she would help me with the paperwork before heading over to the furniture store. Lucas was going to come down with one of his bigger trucks once we had picked out everything I needed for the new place. Alice’s mother, Lucy, had kindly agreed to watch Theo and Violet whilst we got everything sorted. I checked my phone before heading over to meet Alice.
Adam: I need you to answer me, Lottie.
Adam: We can start again, it’ll be different this time.
It wasn’t the first time he’d said something of that accord and it wouldn’t be the last. With every new text I felt my anxiety heighten. I had known he wasn’t going to let us go easy, but he was relentless. My finger hovered over the block button, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not yet.
I arrived at Lucy’s house with Theo in tow. I was nervous about leaving him with a stranger. His safety was always at the top of my list. I had sacrificed so much to protect him and it felt strange to let go of control. When we arrived, Lucy wrapped me in a warm embrace immediately, as if we had known each other forever. It was comforting, she reminded me a lot of both Lucas and Alice.
“I have prepped lots of activities for the two of them to keep them out of trouble,” she quipped as we walked in.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I couldn’t hide the hesitation in my voice.
“Of course! He will have lots of fun, I promise.” Her eyes were soft as she looked at me. “I know it’s nerve-wracking leaving them. Makes you feel guilty, doesn’t it?” I nodded. “I used to get it all the time. It doesn’t get easier, even when you have more children. You always feel like you’re missing a part of you when you go out without them.”
“Does it at least get easier with age?” She laughed and shook her head.
“I still worry about my three every day,” she said with a sigh. “You just want to make sure they have everything they need, that they are happy.” I understood her words. Everything I ever did was for Theo. I couldn’t imagine how much harder it was with three kids. Giving him everything he needed was tough enough.
She lightly grabbed my hand.
“Alice has given me your number; would you like me to send you pictures and updates of all the fun we are having?” Tears threatened to fall at her kindness, but I pulled myself together.
“Oh no, that won’t be necessary. I don’t think ill of you, it’s just scary.” She laughed again.
“I know, darling. I’m not offended, don’t worry.” Lucy gave my hand a squeeze before releasing it. “I will keep you updated, but if you want to speak to him at any time just call, okay? I’ll keep my phone right by me.” I felt a sense of calm having spoken to her. I’d been working myself up all morning over nothing. I knew where he was; he was safe. I needed to now focus on the task at hand.
The paperwork was less painful than I expected and soon I had the keys to our new apartment in my hand. The second-hand furniture store was massive, I had never seen anything quite like it before.
There were signs everywhere talking about the low prices and I was glad for that. I was going to be spending most of the rest of the money I had aside for this furniture, but I wanted to make sure it felt like home for Theo. We picked out some bedroom furniture and Alice managed to haggle them down on price for a table and sofa. It didn’t take long to have enough furniture for now. I could always come back for more once I had some more money behind me. Alice shot a quick text to Lucas to tell him we were ready.
A short while later, we were sitting on my new sofa inside the shop when Alice turned her attention to the door with a clap of her hands.
“Oh, perfect. He brought my other brother with him, too.” I turned to the door to greet Lucas and her other brother, but my eyes widened at the sight.
“Elijah is your other brother?” I asked, turning to her as they approached.
“You two already know each other?” she asked, her eyes darting between the two of us.
“Oh yes, sister. They do!” Lucas said with a smirk, clapping his hands together.
I could see on Lucas’ face he was thoroughly enjoying the pure shock of everyone else; he obviously hadn’t divulged all his knowledge on the subject to his siblings. “Our dear brother, Elijah, pulled her over on her first day in town and yelled at her.”
“You did what? Why did you yell at my friend!” Her voice rose as she spoke to Elijah.
“Whoa, why are you coming for me? I think what you mean to say is, Thank you, Elijah, for coming to help me, your sister, move a new bed into Ma’s house on your day off.”
“I’m not buying a new bed?” Alice questioned. Everyone’s eyes now fell to Lucas.
“Yeah, uhm… that might have been a lie.” He shrugged shyly, looking at Elijah. “I figured given your first meeting if I told you that you were here to help her move furniture, you might not come. Plus the thought of moving all that heavy stuff on my own did not sound fun.” Alice snorted as Elijah’s eyes narrowed on his brother.
“Don’t look at me like that. I thought it was the least you could do to help her move furniture since you were unreasonable and was mean to her on her first day in town,” Lucas added.
“I was not unreasonable,” Elijah snapped back. I felt like I was watching a game of tennis; my eyes bounced between each of them as they spoke.
“I think what you mean to say is, Yes, of course, Lucas, I was a dick and am happy to help the nice lady move her furniture,” he said, gesturing to me.
“Yes, that’s definitely what you meant to say,” Alice said, folding her arms, both of the siblings staring Elijah down now.
“I’ll help, but I’m not saying that,” he answered with a scoff.
After a tense few moments of silence, Alice stood up and directed them as to what needed to go into the truck. Elijah and I didn’t speak to each other, but our eyes kept meeting as we packed everything into the truck. It felt so tense between us and I couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. We had a brief moment alone whilst Alice and Lucas were double checking everything was strapped down.
“How is your arm?” I asked. He was wearing a long sleeve over it.
“Fine, no harm done,” he said. Suddenly now that we were close, he was avoiding my gaze.
“Thank you for helping me with all this.” I put my arm on his, causing him to finally look at me. Before he could respond, his siblings came back round the front as we quickly moved away from each other.
“All ready to go?” Alice asked. I nodded and gave the address to Lucas so they could meet us there. The apartment was actually quite near their family home, just on the outside of town. It was a ground floor apartment with access to a shared garden. It wasn’t much, but it was home and had space for Theo to play outside if he wanted to.
The boys had managed to beat us there and were starting to open up the truck when we arrived. I unlocked the door and walked inside, my eyes scanning the rooms as I went through. I couldn’t believe this was where I lived now. I had never had a place of my own before, unless you counted my dorm room in college but even that was shared.
I’m doing it. I can provide a good, safe life for me and my son.
They made light work of moving the furniture in. Despite it now having some bits in, admittedly it did still feel slightly barren in here.
“Have you got more stuff we need to bring?” Elijah asked, coming up behind me in the kitchen. I flinched at his sudden movement behind me and he looked down, frowning at me. I could hear Lucas and Alice arguing about how to put the bed back together in the other room.
“Not really, just some clothes and some of kitchen bits I brought with us. I’ll have to get some more things later on.”
He nodded, looking around the room while my eyes followed his. “I know it’s a little bare, but I’m sure I can decorate it up soon,” I added, feeling slightly embarrassed watching him scan the place.
“Definitely, it has promise.” He offered me a small smile before taking a deep breath. I wondered what kind of place he lived in. Alice had mentioned to me earlier he owned his own house that Lucas lived in with him. A few moments passed before he spoke again.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you. Lucas said you told him that I implied you were a bad mother. I didn’t mean that, you know?” He paused. “I know I don’t know you well, but from what I’ve heard you’re a brilliant mother. I just was concerned and I went about it all wrong with you.”
I had almost forgotten about that aspect of it until now. I remembered the rage he made me feel at his words, as if I would ever do anything to put Theo in danger. At least he was apologising to me now. I did take a while to pull over for him. I wasn’t exactly innocent in all this. I could respect somebody who acknowledges their mistake.
“I’m sorry, too. I think we both just caught up in the heat of the moment.” I returned his smile.
“Definitely, why don’t we start again?” I raised my eyebrows at his question. “Hi, my name’s Elijah. Nice to meet you.” I let out a small laugh.
“I’m Lottie. Nice to meet you, too.”
“I’m surprised you go by Lottie; you seem more like a Charlie to me.” He shrugged.
My heart felt like it stopped at his words. Charlie. I hadn’t been called that since my grandpa died. No matter how old I got, I was always his little Charlie.
It was a nickname that I held dear to my heart. If anyone else tried to call me it when I was younger, it annoyed me. It was a special nickname not to be used by just anyone. I hadn’t even let my own parents use it. Although as I heard it now, there was something that felt right about it. It felt comforting to hear him call me that. The nickname felt safe to be spoken by his lips.