36. Elijah
Ihad never had much interest in going to the gala, but I’d also never gotten to go to it with a beautiful woman before. I felt sick all morning, suddenly anxious that this was all a terrible idea and maybe I should back out. I tried to go for a run to calm myself down, but it was no use. Not even the piano was saving me today. I watched the time pass all day, pacing around the house. Everything in me wanted tonight to go well, needed it to. Despite the fact that this was all supposed to be fake, I felt this immense pressure building inside of me.
It was finally time to get ready and I fussed over my tux for over an hour. I had bought it the other day. Lucas reassured me it was good, but I still felt self-conscious.
“Cabs here,” Lucas called out. I finally had to stop fussing and accept that this was as good as it was going to get. I picked up the bunch of roses I’d bought her earlier off the side. I’d remembered her telling Violet that they were her favourite. I didn’t know which colour she liked best, so I got a variety. I suddenly felt a sense of regret; this was a fake date, after all. Should I even be buying her flowers?
“You are such a softie,” Lucas teased as he eyed up the roses. “If you buy Lottie flowers when she’s your fake girlfriend, I wonder what you’d get her if she was your real one?”
Everything. I’d get her everything she wanted.
I ignored his teasing as we climbed into the cab, making our way over to my mother’s house first.
Lucas spent the ride wittering on about various sports fixtures, but I could barely concentrate on the conversation. I had to concentrate instead on trying not to throw up as we got closer and closer.
I nearly collapsed on the spot when I saw her standing at the bottom of the stairs. My heart was in my throat as I looked at her. She was beautiful. She was everything. And tonight, she was mine. There was a slight awkward tension in the room as I greeted and gave the flowers to Charlie. My family was acting like they were watching a show.
It felt natural to slip my hand into hers as we walked out of the house, I didn’t even think about it as I did it.
I just knew I wanted to touch her and before I knew it, we were holding hands. I sensed her nervousness about leaving Theo and tried to reassure her, promising that we would have a great night.
There was a buzz in the cab as we made our way to the venue. Lucas had taken the front seat and Charlie was sitting in between Alice and I. Our legs touched together with the movement of the car and I found myself reaching my hand onto her leg, once again not even thinking. She moved her hand on top of mine. We didn’t acknowledge this touch verbally, but it felt right. Everything about having her close to me felt right.
Upon arrival I watched as her eyes lit up, looking around the venue. I didn’t care what the venue looked like; I already knew it was nowhere near as beautiful as she was right now.
We found a table and Lucas got the first round of drinks. Charlie held hers in the air.
“To fresh starts,” she beamed.
“To fresh starts,” we all mused, clinking our glasses together. After a few drinks, Lucas and Alice left to wander around and mingle, leaving Charlie and I alone.
“Will you dance with me?” she asked sweetly. My stomach dropped. I hated dancing, but for some reason, the prospect of dancing with her excited me.
“Of course.” I stood up, grabbing her hand and leading her onto the dance floor. I fumbled slightly at first, my nerves getting the better of me. However, I soon found control of myself and lead her round the dance floor, one hand on her arm and the other low down on her back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taylor staring us down and I smirked. I liked him knowing that she came with me, that she was mine for the night. We didn’t talk whilst we danced, but we held continuous eye contact as we moved around. She smiled as we glided and laughed when I spun her. Soon the rest of the room faded away from my mind and it was just the two of us. I almost forgot that all of this was supposed to be fake, it certainly didn’t feel that way for me. We danced for a few more songs before reluctantly stopping for a drink break. She didn’t let go of my hand as she led me back towards a table.
Soon after, Lucas found his way to us as the music turned more upbeat now.
“Mind if I borrow your date for a dance?” he asked, looking at me.
“Not at all.” I smiled softly. Charlie smiled at me before she grabbed Lucas’ hand and walked towards the dance floor with him.
I watched as Lucas and Charlie danced together on the floor, him playfully spinning her round until she was so dizzy that they both laughed. If this was anyone other than my brother, jealously would be consuming me right now. I’d be ripping her away from them and taking her back into my arms in a heartbeat. I knew she was safe with Lucas, he cared for her like she was a sister. Despite the fact I hadn’t admitted it, he also knew the feelings I had for her. He enjoyed teasing me, but he would never go over that line.
I felt my shoulders relax and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them. I felt a presence at my side and turned to see Alice next to me.
“I’m surprised you’re allowing him to dance with your girl.”
“She’s not my—” I cut myself off. The fact she wasn’t actually my girl stung. That none of this was real. For one night I wasn’t going to deny it. I was happy pretending she was mine because I wished she was. “Lucas is harmless.” She nodded at my words.
“He’s always been the life of the party, eh?” She wasn’t wrong there. My brother was always the fun one, always a joy to have around. “We can’t let them have all the fun though, can we?” She smiled up at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me onto the dance floor. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by Charlie and my siblings dancing, smiles and laughter flowing through the group effortlessly. I smiled and laughed, too, surrounded by three of my favourite people in the whole world. In this moment, I didn’t feel like I needed to look over my shoulder, that I wasn’t in control. My breath was steady and my body was calm. I relaxed and enjoyed every second, periodically spinning Alice and Charlie around. Any moment I could, I pulled Charlie close to me; my hand grazing her back or holding her hand. At first, I was worried that she would be annoyed or upset by my touch, but it soon became clear she wasn’t. My hand would touch hers and she would grab it back, giving it a gentle squeeze. When I would pull her close, she would lean into me. My hand would touch her back and she would look at me and smile. Every single time we touched it felt electric to me. Her presence was exhilarating and calming to me at the same time, I wanted to feel this way every single day. This was the happiest night of my entire life.
The rest of the evening was a mixture of dancing, laughing, and talking. We occasionally took a break from the dance floor and Charlie and I would just talk. We avoided the looming situation of Adam and turned the conversation to more positive memories. She talked about her love for music and how she missed going running. I told her about all the running routes locally with a promise we would go running together soon; that I would show her all the best places to go. She then talked more to me about her grandpa. There was a fondness in her expression as she spoke of him. It was clear how much he meant to her; he was the one who gave her that love for music. It made me want to play for her again. I would play for her every day if she let me. The way she looked at me was addicting. Making her smile was like a drug to me and I never wanted that feeling to stop. I didn’t want to come down from the high that was being with Charlie.
Lucas and Alice called it a night before us, but I just wasn’t ready for it to end. I could tell Charlie felt the same as she made no attempt to leave with them. We sat down on an empty table and continued to talk until last calls were given and the gala was winding down. Our bodies getting closer with each moment, my hand grazing her knee and hers lingering on my thigh. Knowing this night was shortly going to end was paining me, but eventually we stood making our way to wait for a cab outside.
“I had the best time tonight; I genuinely don’t remember the last time I had that much fun,” she said, breaking the silence.
“Me, too,” I mused. “I actually don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun.” We stood on the sidewalk together; I was facing out into the car park whilst she was facing me. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a figure lurking, knowing immediately it was Adam.
“Is it bad I am already excited about next year?” she asked, blissfully unaware of who was behind her. I caught his eye and felt the anger rising in my chest. Without thinking I placed my hand on her face and pulled her lips to mine.