Chapter 29
KNIGHT
Making my way up the hallway, I stop by the entrance of the kitchen, watching Harper mindlessly go about her morning, getting ready for her first day back at work.
It’s almost comical at this point. Generally, people only ever have one first day back at work, yet here Harper is, pouring her coffee into a thermos, preparing for what must be her fourth or fifth first day back in the space of only a few months.
It’s becoming a fucking joke, but as I watch the joy cross Harper’s face, I can’t bring myself to comment on it.
She loves that fucking morgue, and while I’ll never be able to understand it, I’m here for anything that can put a smile on her face like that. Even with all the bullshit that has gone down within the walls of that morgue, being there gives her purpose, and I could never take that away from her.
The morgue’s been closed for well over a week now, and while all priority autopsies have been diverted to the next town over, everything else has been piling up, and I don’t doubt that Harper has her work cut out for her over the coming weeks in order to get back on top of everything.
With Dr. McKullan gone, everything will fall on Harper’s shoulders, though she hasn’t been board-certified yet, so I’m not quite sure who she’s going to answer to over the coming months, but I’m sure I’ll hear all about it when she gets home this evening.
Despite that, nothing is going to stop her from getting in, putting her head down, and getting her work done.
During the day shifts, she has a whole team to utilize, so I’m sure, given the tools she needs, Harper will have that morgue running like a well-oiled machine in no time.
I go to push off the wall to meet her in the kitchen when the alarm for her meds goes off, and as she makes her way around the island counter, I watch her, completely immersed in everything Harper-Rayn.
She’s so fucking beautiful it hurts.
I don’t know how I ever became so lucky. She’s wild and fierce, but docile when she wants to be, and despite knowing every damn thing about her, she never ceases to surprise me.
As she approaches her phone, her fingers swipe across the screen, dismissing the alarm before she stretches up onto her tippy-toes to reach the cabinet above the fridge, her scrub top riding up and showing off a sliver of skin at her hip and making my mouth water.
No amount of tasting her will ever satiate me. I will always want more, always crave her, always need everything that she is. I’m fucking addicted, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Harper-Rayn Madden has me by the fucking balls.
I watch her with a lazy smile as she finally reaches the little canister of pills, and as she wanders over to the sink, she sips on her coffee while swaying her hips to whatever song is playing on repeat inside her head. All I know is that I certainly don’t hear whatever the fuck she does.
Harper holds up the little orange canister, popping the lid with her thumb, and as she tips one tiny pill into the palm of her hand, I push off the wall, ready to join her.
Only she immediately drops the pill into the sink before turning on the tap and watching the little sucker disappear out of sight.
I pause, my back stiffening as I stare at my woman.
Did I really just see her do that? There’s no fucking way that Harper just washed her meds down the drain. Maybe I’m the one who’s seeing things, because I know damn well that she wouldn’t be so reckless with her medication.
What the fuck is she trying to achieve? I thought she was doing better. I thought we were making progress, but to do this? Fuck. I’ve never felt so lost in my life. How the hell am I supposed to help her? Do I confront her? Push her into more therapy? Take her to meet with Dr. Carzy?
I’ve got no fucking idea. I’m out of my depth here.
As Harper gets back to dancing in the kitchen, I make a subtle noise before finally making my way over to her, watching as she turns around and hits me with a beaming smile that knocks the fucking air right out of my lungs.
“Have I told you how fucking beautiful you are today?”
“Only five or six times,” she teases. “But you can tell me again.”
I laugh and pull her into my arms before pressing a kiss to her lips. “You’re fucking ravishing.”
“Damn straight,” she murmurs against my lips as I reach around her and steal her coffee right off the counter and take a well-needed hit.
“Hey,” she scolds, smacking my chest before reaching for the thermos, only I hold it out of reach and drink some more while turning away, knowing damn well she can’t reach.
Only the little she-devil clambers up onto the counter and throws herself onto my back, snatching the half-empty coffee right out of my hands. “You’re an asshole.”
“Tell me something I don’t know, doll,” I say, backing up to the counter so that she can drop her ass onto it.
She slides down my back, and the moment she’s comfortably seated, I turn around, standing between her perfect thighs as I reach for the coffeepot and start refilling her thermos. “How’re you feeling today?”
“Good,” she says before a cheesy grin rips across her face. “Excited.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Is it wrong to feel excited to go back to work after what happened there?”
I shake my head. “Don’t feel guilty for loving your job,” I tell her.
“Your work didn’t murder Dr. McKullan and Anders.
Elias did. You can be excited for your day and thrilled to be doing what you love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also feel your feels.
Be sad when you need to be. Think of him when you need.
Ask yourself what he would have done if you get stuck.
But don’t you dare feel guilty for loving the job you’ve worked your ass off for. ”
Harper nods and leans into me, gently pressing her lips to mine in a soft kiss. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Morticia.”
“Ooh, Morticia this morning. What did I do to deserve that? Usually, you hit me with doll first thing in the morning.”
“Can’t help it, not when you’re dressed in these sexy little scrubs.”
Harper rolls her eyes. “There’s nothing sexy about these scrubs.”
“We’re going to have to agree to disagree on that one.”
Harper pretends to choke as I make my way around the kitchen, getting everything ready for my day and stealing just one more sip of coffee from her thermos. “Was that your meds alarm that went off earlier?”
“Gee, you don’t miss a thing, Officer. Are you sure you’re not a detective?” I give her a hard stare, and she lets out a low sigh. “Yes, that was my alarm, and yes, I had my meds. I’m still a functioning person of society. Happy now?”
Wow. So that’s what she looks like when she lies directly to my face. I’ll take note.
Stepping back into her, I take her chin and lift it until those dazzling eyes are locked on mine, and while I could call her on her bullshit and demand to know what the fuck is going on, I don’t want to back her into a corner just yet. “Ecstatic,” I tell her.
She grins at me, but I see the slight tightening in her eyes, letting me know that something is off. “Do you have to go now, or do you have a few minutes?” Harper asks; that tightening in her eyes now almost looks like pure panic.
“I’ve got a minute,” I say, bracing my hands on either side of her thighs as I watch her, wondering if she’s about to give me all the answers I’ve been looking for without needing to put her through an interrogation. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. You don’t need to worry,” she tells me. “I just had a conversation with Jonah the other day and I guess . . . I don’t really know. I wanted to run something by you and see what you thought.”
My brow arches. This is definitely not about the meds.
“What’s going on, doll?”
“Shit. Okay, I wasn’t expecting to feel so nervous about this,” she says, prompting me to shift my hands to her thighs before watching the way she visibly begins to calm at my touch.
She takes a minute, her face scrunching a million different ways before finally taking a shaky breath and giving it to me straight.
“I was talking to Jonah about Mom’s situation with the baby, and he mentioned that if Mom wasn’t willing to provide a more .
. . stable home life for our sister, that maybe I should consider taking custody.
You know, assuming Mom does what Mom does best and only thinks about herself. ”
I stare at her for a moment. “You want to adopt your baby sister?”
“I, ummm . . . I’m not sure. I didn’t consider it as an adoption, just that I would claim guardianship over her and raise her in a home where she’s treated right and valued.
That way she would know how it feels to have love and light in her life.
I don’t want this baby to have the same upbringing I had.
And I know I’m getting way ahead of myself because, as far as I’m aware, Mom really wants this baby, but I just don’t see it happening once Elias is dealt with.
Mom will want to move on to her next billionaire, and she’ll leave this innocent little soul to fend for herself.
I’ve seen it too many times. I’ve been that baby, and I just . . . I want better for her.”
“Are you ready to be a mom?”
She shakes her head. “No, not even close. I want to be a crazy midtwenties loser who drinks on the weekends and doesn’t have to worry about anything except trying not to get herself killed by psychopaths.
I’m not ready to be someone’s mom. I don’t want to think about having a baby of my own until years down the track, but I do know that if it came down to it, I would want to give this little girl a home. ”
I nod, with her right until the end. “Okay,” I tell her. “Whatever you decide, that’s the road we travel.”
“Huh?” she grunts. “Just like that?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
“You’re not even going to try to argue about this?”
“Why would I want to do that?” I ask. “My only purpose in life is to make you happy, to give you everything you deserve, and if taking custody of your baby sister is what you feel is right, then we’ll do that without looking back.
We can raise her as our own, or as your sister.
That choice can be yours. But no matter what you decide, I will be right here, ready to catch you if you fall. ”
Harper visibly swallows as her eyes fill with unshed tears. “It terrifies me, Knight.”
“I know,” I say, pulling her against my chest. “Change is supposed to be scary. It’s uncharted waters, but that’s how we grow. It’s how we learn and better ourselves. Don’t fear change, embrace it. Fear the moment you stay the same.”
Harper nods against my chest, her face squished against my shirt. “Is there a toilet roll with all of these inspirational quotes written on it somewhere, or are you just getting wise in your old age?”
“I might be getting older, but I could run circles around you,” I tell her. “How’re those pull-ups coming along?”
“Oh shit,” she says, glancing at her watchless wrist. “Would you look at the time? I gotta jet.”
“Uh-huh.”
As if on cue, Ace’s truck pulls into my driveway, and not a moment later, he practically flies out the door, strutting across the grass sporting a bruised jaw, courtesy of Diesel.
Their fight in the bar the other night was a mess.
It was sloppy, but Ace got what was coming to him, though that’s how it usually ends between Ace and Diesel.
Whoever is the first to throw a punch is generally the first to submit, and it was no different on Saturday night.
The only problem is, Ace bruises like a goddamn peach, while Diesel has been strutting around looking as fresh as a fucking daisy.
Ace comes striding straight through the front door, not bothering to wait and knock, but what’s new? “Yo, Harper. You ready?” he calls from the foyer. “Diesel bet me I couldn’t get you to the hospital in under nine minutes.”
“Yeah?” she says with a smirk, her eyes lighting with excitement. “I bet we could do it in eight.”
Get fucked. I’m going to be scraping both their asses off the asphalt.
Harper jumps down from the counter and grabs her thermos before patting down all her pockets and making sure she has her access pass and everything else she needs.
“K, I’m ready,” she says, stepping into me and pushing up onto her toes to give me a swift kiss.
“Try not to do anything stupid at work, because if anybody gets to shoot you, it’ll be me. ”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You do that,” she says before striding through the living room and out the other end to the small entryway.
She steps right into Ace, offering him a kiss on the cheek.
“I might have a baby,” she announces proudly, shocking the absolute shit out of Ace before walking straight by him without another fucking word or even an attempt at an explanation.
She makes her way out to the driveway before Ace’s gaze slowly circles back to meet mine. “Uhhh . . . Is there news you’d like to share?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Long story, but no, she’s not pregnant. I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it,” I explain. “But listen, watch her like a hawk today. Something is up with her, and I want your eyes on her, more so than usual.”
He nods, always taking every assignment, no matter how big or small, with absolute seriousness. “Anything in particular I’m looking for?”
I shake my head, never having been so lost in my life.
“I wish I knew,” I tell him. “I really wish I knew.” And as he nods and follows Harper out the door, I reach for the cupboard above the fridge and pull out the small canister of pills before tapping them out and counting them one by fucking one.