Chapter 4
4
No one had invited Franny to summer practice, but so what? It was a free world. The football field wasn’t situated behind gilded gates, and there was nothing she could find in the school employee handbook that stated she couldn’t be there just because she wasn’t on the team or coaching.
She’d done some Facebook stalking and found out that Monday practice started at 8:00 A.M. Franny had shown up at 9:00. She wore a pair of running shorts and a loose-fitting tank top. Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a low bun at the nape of her neck, and her dollar store sunglasses sat snugly on her nose.
The sun was already high in the sky, beating down, making the eighty-five-degree heat even worse. Franny was happy to see that instead of being outfitted in their pads and uniforms, running drills in the sun, the boys sat on the twenty-yard line in regular workout clothes, water bottles in hand, as Coach Landry towered over them, speaking things she couldn’t hear from where she stood on the sidelines.
With her, she also had a folding chair she’d stolen from her parents’ house, a gallon of ice water, and a notebook and pencil. She set up her chair off-field, not far from the bleachers but not too close to the other coaches either.
Franny was situated for some time before anyone noticed her. If she’d been forced to bet on who would be the first to see her—and get incensed about her presence—she would have won a cool ten dollars on the spot.
Jade Dunn’s stride toward her across the turf should have been accompanied by a war trumpet. The woman’s light brown face was too emotive to be stoic. Her dark, full eyebrows quirked on her forehead, and her lips were pinched. The way she walked was probably meant to be angry and intimidating, but all Franny could see was that her wide hips swayed perfectly, even under her knee-length khaki shorts. Franny started a little hum in her head to match their rhythm. It tickled her so silly that when Dunn finally stood in front of her, Franny was grinning.
“What are you doing here?” Dunn practically hissed.
Franny tilted her head to one side, sparing a glance at her water on the ground, then at the pen and paper in her lap. “I’m trying to write the next great American novel, obviously. It’s about a really mean, really lonely woman who spends all her time trying to destroy her colleague.” Franny moved her pen to the paper in front of her as if she were writing instead of drawing scribbles for dramatic effect. “I hope you don’t mind if I spoil the ending for you—”
Dunn cut her off. “It doesn’t matter whether you spoil it or not, I doubt you’ll even get the chance to finish it.”
“The mean lady doesn’t succeed,” Franny said, continuing as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “She ends up getting swallowed by a sinkhole, and her colleague takes her job and, like, wins hella awards and accolades, and everybody loves her more.”
“Sounds like a shitty book.”
“I figured you’d think so.”
Dunn’s gaze sharpened. “Plus, nobody says hella anymore.”
Franny reared back. “Of course they do.”
“No, they don’t. Only people who are my parents’ age say shit like that.”
“You’re so full of it, Dunn.” Franny’s eyes narrowed.
“I’m full of it? You’re the one who showed up to my practice uninvited.”
Finally, Franny stood up from her chair. She was a couple of inches taller than Dunn, so nose-to-nose was more nose-to-forehead, but still. “ Your practice? Last time I checked, all you were was an assistant coach.”
Dunn took a small step forward until their bodies were almost pressed together. Franny could feel the faintest brush of the other woman’s breasts against the underside of hers, and her jaw tightened as heat flushed through her. “And last I checked, you were fighting way above your weight class. It doesn’t matter how many asses you kiss or how much you flash those little smiles of yours. You have no shot here; I don’t even know why you’re still trying.”
Franny’s eyes moved from Dunn’s face to where Coach Landry had sent the boys to run laps and was staring the two women down with scrutinous eyes from across the field. She smiled, waving a hand at the man, who then started approaching them.
“I don’t know about that. It seems like your boss likes me well enough.” Pointedly, she turned one of her so-called little smiles on him.
“Ms. Lim… I see you were serious the other night, huh?”
Hearing him, Dunn spun around so fast she almost lost her balance. Before she could think about it, Franny gripped her arm, steadying her. Then she snatched her hand back as if she’d been burned.
Dunn moved to stand by Coach Landry’s side, as if they were some kind of united front against her.
“Serious as a heart attack, Coach.” Franny made sure to keep her smile bright but not too wide. “I want my chance at a coaching spot.”
“My spot?” Landry asked.
Franny shrugged. “There’s no point in flying if you’re not trying to get up high, is there?”
Coach Landry barked out a laugh that could have been heard from a mile away. “What experience have you got? Have you ever coached at the high school level? Where?”
“I spent three years as the head O-line coach for an AAU youth football team back home in Houston.”
“Texas?” Landry raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, sir. We took home two national championship trophies in that time.”
He grabbed Dunn’s shoulder and gave it a lighthearted shake. “Looks like you might have some competition, after all, Dunn.”
Dunn’s face went so red, Franny thought she might actually pass out. Then her right eye started to twitch.
“We don’t have any positions open right now, obviously,” Landry said. “So I can’t hire you. But this is a public school, so we definitely ain’t strangers to volunteers. After this season… well, we’ll be restructuring some things”—he glanced at Dunn—“so there might be a couple positions to fill. It’ll be a long shot for you to get my job, but shit.” The man chuckled. “Shoot for the stars, and you never know.”
Landry turned to Dunn. “You mind showing her the ropes?”
Dunn paused, swallowing so hard it looked like she had a real frog in her throat. “Of course, Coach.”
After a pat to her arm, Landry walked away, and Dunn waited until he was out of hearing distance before she looked at Franny again. She didn’t say anything, though, and Franny couldn’t keep herself from rubbing her little win in the other woman’s face.
“Looks like that sinkhole is getting bigger, huh?”
Franny had three older brothers. Phillip, Kenny, and Will. Phillip lived and worked in South Korea—Busan, where their parents were from. Kenny had stayed near their parents in Houston, where he wrote—and sometimes sold—screenplays. But Will, her closest brother both spiritually and physically, lived with his wife and daughter in Columbia, South Carolina.
Two years ago, when she’d (ridiculously) agreed to follow her ex, Caroline, back to her home state, she’d only done so with the promise that she’d be within driving distance of her brother. Just in case.
The “just in case” hadn’t come, not really. Sure, she and Caroline had broken up in just under six months of moving across the country together. And sure, Caroline had packed her shit and hightailed it out of her own hometown within a few days, headed who knew where. But the only thing that had gotten hurt or scammed was Franny’s heart. And even then, it hadn’t taken her as long to get over Caroline as she’d expected.
Originally, she’d planned to stay in Greenbelt just long enough to stop her head from spinning and save money. But then she’d gotten a real job and settled in, and well… sure, the place was tiny and unlike anything else she’d ever experienced. But she liked it. She didn’t know why, but she did. There was something here that kept her from leaving.
Still, almost every week, she made the three-hour drive from Greenbelt to Columbia to see the only family she had in the state. During the school year, this time was relegated to the weekend. But with football practices happening every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday and poker on Thursday nights, she had to squeeze the time in during the week.
She’d hopped in the car straight after practice that afternoon, still smelling like sweet sweat and grass. She had spent the first hour of her trip with all the windows in her little Prius down, trying to air herself out.
After she arrived in the city, her first stop was a gas station. Her six-year-old niece, Amelia, would refuse her entry into the family’s home if Franny didn’t present her with a slushie within three seconds of greeting her.
Franny had a key to their home, but she rarely used it. Instead, she rang the bell, then obnoxiously showed her open mouth to the little doorbell camera, hoping to annoy her brother.
Instead, it was her sister-in-law who answered the door. Yao was a tiny thing. A Taiwanese woman with shoulder-length black hair, an oval-shaped face, and the softest eyes of anyone Franny had ever seen.
“Franny!” Yao looked shocked to see her.
“This is not a pop-in.” Franny would never have been so rude. “I told Oppa I was coming.”
Yao’s face went blank for a second, thinking, then the remembrance hit. “That’s right… You know, your brother talks so much, sometimes I have to tune some of it out.”
Franny snorted. Will was the most laid-back of all the Lim children, but he had a mouth like a motor. She imagined he’d probably mentioned her stopping by to his wife in rushed words somewhere between a suggestion for a new restaurant and recalling a childhood memory.
“Where is he anyway?”
Yao’s family owned a local residential real estate company where she worked as an agent, and Will was the executive chef at a popular Korean restaurant in town. Neither of them worked a traditional nine to five, so it wasn’t uncommon for them both to be home in the middle of the day. Especially when Amelia was out of school.
Her sister-in-law huffed, then rolled her eyes. “He took the girl-child to my parents’ house to see the new little rat dog my mom got.” She tapped her phone screen, then turned it toward Franny, showing her a picture of her adorable niece, her small face with her mother’s eyes and her father’s chin smooshed to a scraggly brown puppy. “They’re trying to convince me to let them get one.”
“Oh, good luck to them,” Franny said, laughing. Yao was maybe the kindest person she’d ever met, but she was not a fan of animals in her space.
“Can you believe I’m actually thinking about it?” Yao crossed her arms, leaning her hip against the kitchen island. “This is what love does to you, Francesca. It makes you actually consider ruining your beautiful new carpet with dog pee. Don’t do it, babe. Do. Not. Do. It.”
A year ago, Franny would have cackled at that and meant it—six months ago, even. All she could muster now was a strained choking sound meant to masquerade as a laugh. She was finding herself increasingly impatient for when she would find her girl. It was so crappy to feel like you’d finally gotten your hands on something, the thing you wanted most in the world, something you were willing to change your whole life for. Just to have it completely ripped out from under you.
Caroline, her ex, had been everything Franny had thought she wanted in a partner. Passionate and smart, artistic and joyful. She danced samba and had visited every country in South America at least once. She painted when she was angry, and when they argued—which was often—she often said things that made Franny feel like she was in some screwed-up episode of The L Word .
It hadn’t been perfect, or anything close to it, but Franny had been so tired of it all. How many first dates at breweries could a person go on before they snapped? How many “I’m in love with my ex-girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend” stories could she hear before she just completely went off the rails?
Lately, she went to bed wishing her pillow smelled like someone else’s hair. And when she woke up without an arm slung across her waist, all she felt was a deep, clenching loneliness.
Honestly, she felt a little pathetic. But every time she turned on her phone, she saw cute couples on Instagram. Every time she was out, she saw them walking the streets, hands clasped. Even now, at her brother’s house, she was confronted with the fact that she was very much not in love.
Yao, to her credit, seemed to sense that something was up with Franny’s response. She winced slightly, then placed a sympathetic hand on Franny’s shoulder. “Obviously, I’m exaggerating, and you’re going to be fine. You’re so hot you could literally find somebody to fall in love with you today.”
Franny snorted. “And yet here I am, with a zit the size of Texas on my chin and no wife. What’s all this sexy mean if I have no wife, Yao?” She was being dramatic for show, but saying it felt cathartic nonetheless.
“The wife I can’t help you with, not after the last time,” Yao said.
“Yeah, no, your lesbian friend from high school who lives in the converted van was nice but definitely not for me,” Franny said, shooting her a smile.
It was her sister-in-law’s turn to roll her eyes. “But I can do something about the pimple. Come upstairs with me.”
Thirty minutes later, she and Yao descended from the primary bedroom together. Franny’s hair was pulled back away from her face with a pink terry cloth headband, and a thick, hard mask was drying on her face. Just as she reached the last step, the front door opened, and her brother and niece came stumbling into the house.
Amelia was first, looking up at Franny with brown eyes wide in surprise. Before she could think of anything else to do, Franny brought her hands up, curled them like claws in front of her face, and growled with a nasty snarl.
Two years ago, her little niece would have run away screaming, resulting in Franny chasing her around the house. But she was ten now—practically grown up, as evidenced by the glittery pink nail polish on her fingers. So she just laughed, a tinkling little sound that made Franny grin wider as the little girl flew into her arms.
“Gomo, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Your dad didn’t tell you?” she asked, looking over the little girl’s head at where her oppa was standing at the door.
“Obviously, Dad wanted it to be a surprise.”
“More like, obviously Dad forgot,” Yao mumbled good-naturedly before stepping around where her sister-in-law and daughter were still hugging to plant a kiss on her husband’s mouth.
“Dad’s got a lot on his mind,” Will grumbled. “Your mom sent us home with some beef noodle soup, though.”
Amelia snickered. “Ah Gong tried to tell Ah Mah that she was doing it wrong, and she hit him with the spoon.”
Yao’s eyes closed briefly as she shook her head. Her parents were notorious characters, but in a good way. It was a wonder that someone as generally quiet as Yao had been raised by two people who considered bickering to be a love language.
“You two sit here. We’ll get this ready,” Will said.
He and Amelia went about setting the table and reheating the soup while Franny and Yao waited with hungry bellies. Franny’s let out a little growl, and she gave them a sheepish smile.
“You must have been doing something today to be that hungry. What are you keeping busy with this summer?” Will asked.
“Well,” she said, before hesitating. “I guess I’m kinda stepping my toe back into coaching.”
Will turned from the stove to flash her an impressed look, one that had his mouth turned down and smushed at the same time. “They have an AAU team down there?”
“No.” Franny pulled Amelia in for a little kiss on the cheek as the girl set a glass down next to her empty bowl. “The high school team in Greenbelt, actually.”
“That’s surprising,” Yao said.
Franny nodded in agreement. “They already have a woman coach on the team too. Isn’t that wild?”
“It is,” her brother said. “I was nervous about you living down there all alone, but you’ve surprised me with a lot of the things you’ve told me about it.”
“I mean, you know, it’s still a small town in South Carolina. I’m not saying it’s all great or that everybody is perfectly understanding,” Franny said with a shrug. “But it’s a lot better than I expected. A lot of queer people willingly decide to live there despite there being other options, so that means something.”
Will approached the dining table with a steaming pot and a ladle, then served everyone a healthy portion of food. Only when all their bowls were filled did everyone pick up their chopsticks and dig in.
“You already got the position?” Yao asked her.
“Not yet, but I’m close.” Was it a lie if it was a gut feeling? “I won’t find out until the school year starts, but I’ve been invited to help with summer practices.”
“For free?” Will raised an eyebrow.
Franny didn’t even bother hiding her eye roll, which made Amelia giggle. “It’s a public high school football team, Oppa. Not the NCAA Southeastern Conference. Even once I get the position, it’ll only pay a small stipend every year.”
“It’s not about the money.” Yao winked at her. “It’s about… um…”
“Throwing!” Amelia interjected happily.
“Yes.” Yao pointed across the table at her daughter. “It’s about throwing and friendship and teamwork and Gatorade.”
Franny’s snort would have earned her a withering look had she done it at her mother’s table. “Especially the Gatorade. I may not have any money, but I’m practically drowning in Gatorade.”
“Maybe you can make friends with the other woman coach,” Yao offered. “I imagine she’ll be happy to have you join the team. It must be really lonely for her out there.”
Her first instinct was to screw her face up. Jade Dunn had made it perfectly clear that she did not want her around. Franny could tell she was serious, just like she was certain that Dunn’s disdain for her had nothing to do with her being a woman and everything to do with her being a threat. She figured that if Dunn got her way, she’d be the only coach on that field anyway. Still, Yao was probably right about something. It must have been lonely. It would be even lonelier at the top.
Which meant that it was for the better that by hook or by crook, Franny was going to be right there with her. She was going to stick to Dunn’s side like cold grits. She hoped that by doing that, she’d prove to the other woman that she was there to stay. It didn’t matter whether Dunn kicked and screamed and scratched the entire time. Franny wasn’t going to move an inch. She’d offer her help, her support, show Landry that she was formidable. Crucial. Necessary, even.
And maybe show Dunn that it didn’t have to be so lonely at the top, if only she’d just move over an inch or two.