Chapter 19
NOLAN
19
Darius grabs a handful of tissues from the box on my desk and coughs up half a lung.
Then he stretches his phone across the desk to me. “This one has great navigation aids. Plus, satellite radio, a heated steering wheel and massaging seats.”
I throw a cursory glance at his disease-covered device, careful not to actually touch it. “Mmm-hm.”
He scrolls some more before showing me another option. “Stella would love the entertainment system in this one. The display screens are pretty big, which is great for keeping her busy during long drives.”
“Sure,” I mutter, barely taking my eyes off my laptop where I’m busy paying supplier invoices that are due this week.
Darius grabs another fistful of tissues and growls in frustration. “Remind me again why I’m wasting my time if you aren’t serious about getting a new car.”
He’s been seated here in my office for the past hour or so, infecting every flat surface as he goes on and on about vehicle specifications, monologues about financing options and debates with himself over gas versus electric versus hybrid.
And at this point, the entire discussion is making me antsy.
I’m no fool. I know that Darius’s time is valuable. My brother’s billion-dollar empire is made up of at least a dozen different business ventures that require his attention.
For the past decade, he’s split the majority of his time between his business offices in New York and San Francisco. But lately, he’s been spending a lot of time here in Starlight Falls for some reason he’s never explained. And the fact that he’s sitting in this stuffy office at the back of my bar today means that he truly wants to help me with this car stuff.
“I am serious,” I say defensively. “I just…I want to shop around a bit before pulling the trigger. I’m exploring my options. It’s called being smart.”
The truth is, I’ve already seen the model I like. The Tucson. Top-notch safety features. Spacious cabin. The option for all-wheel drive. The perfect shade of blue. But I’m not sure I feel comfortable with the price.
“It’s called pinching pennies,” Darius huffs.
“Why do you care so much?” I snarl.
“Because I’m half-scared that if I don’t intervene, I might come over one day and find you building your own car with soup cans and empty soda bottles in your front yard.”
I crack up with laughter. “If I find a good tutorial on YouTube, I just might give it a try.”
Darius resentfully chuckles, too. Then he grows serious. “What’s really holding you back, Noles?”
I drag a palm down my face. “Whatever I buy, I need to make sure that it makes sense finance-wise. I can’t just go carelessly throwing money around. I have to plan for Stella’s future.”
“Stella’s future?”
“Yeah. College. University. Whatever comes beyond that.” I feel my frustration rising.
My brother has more money than he knows what to do with. Plus, he doesn’t have a kid who’s depending on him. I don’t expect him to understand where I’m coming from.
But instead of having some humility, the guy is sitting there, looking at me like I’m the dumb one.
“You do know that Stella is well on her way to becoming a little millionaire, right?”
I hike an eyebrow and chuff. “What are you even talking about?”
Darius lifts his chin, looking all high and mighty. “My niece has a highly-diversified investment portfolio in her name. I opened up her first account when she was six months old. She’ll have access to it once she turns eighteen. Plus, I recently made her the beneficiary on one of my life insurance policies. So the minute Uncle Darius croaks”—he snaps his neck to the side, rolls his eyes back into his skull and lets his tongue wag out of his mouth—“Bam! Stella’s set for life.”
My eyes bat rapidly as confusion washes through me. “You set this up since she was…” I wheeze. “Since she was…six months old?” My brain is struggling to understand this information. “You’re gonna need to break this down for me, man.”
“I could see that you had a lot on your plate. Especially with Lilian floating in and out of the picture. I figured that if I had some money set aside for Stella, it would be one less thing for you to worry about in the future,” Darius explains. Then a weird shadow crosses his face. “I’ve, uh…, amped up my contributions over the past few months.”
None of this is making sense. “You’ve opened up bank accounts for my daughter…?” I repeat again. “You’ve put her on your life insurance policies…?” I feel myself getting choked up. I can hear it in my own voice.
“Well, yes,” my brother says in that arrogant way of his. “I’m a billionaire. Of course my niece has a trust fund. And I’m just waiting for our other siblings to pop out some babies so they can get trust funds, too.”
“And why did you ‘amp up your contributions’ recently, whatever that means?”
He gets that weird look again. “Jeez-us. All these fucking questions.” He coughs forcefully and I have the urge to duck under my desk for cover. “How about a fucking ‘thank you’?”
“Thank you,” I mumble, still in disbelief. “I’ve been sitting here worry about Stella’s future for years. You seriously didn’t think to freaking tell me any of this?” I grab the tissue box and chuck it at him.
He catches the box right before it hits him in the face. “All this is between Stella and me. It’s none of your fucking business.” He chuckles and I growl at him again. “In all seriousness, the reason I didn’t tell you is because you never want to accept help from anyone.”
“That’s not true,” I lie.
“Bullshit. How many times have I offered to help with renovations for your house or upgrades for the bar? You’ve always said no.”
“I don’t need you sticking your nose into my home decor and I definitely don’t need you throwing your money around and trying to take over my bar,” I bark, immediately defensive.
“See? You just proved my point, control freak.” He grins. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you about the trust fund. I didn’t want you getting in the way of me doing this for Stella.”
My eyes are burning. My nose, too. “I’m fucking dumbfounded, man. I don’t even know what to say. Well except—thank you again for doing that for my daughter.”
“No problem. And if you want to go over the details of the trust fund, I’ll have one of my financial advisors give you a call.”
I rub a palm across my forehead, feeling overwhelmed. “My mind is boggled by this whole conversation.”
He noisily blows his nose and shrugs. “I know you’re raising Stella on your own, but you’re not alone. We have your back. All of us do. It’s not just a money thing. Whatever help you need, whenever you need it, we’ll all put our heads together and make it happen. You’ve got to know that, right?”
“Right…” I mutter.
“Buy the fucking car you want, Nolan. Life is short, man. You don’t have to ride that old duct-taped car until the wheels fall off. You’re allowed to get another one.” When my eyes start tearing up, he scowls in disgust and chucks the tissue box back at me. “And clean yourself up. You’re falling apart.”
I snort, shaking my head. “You’re such an asshole. Even when you’re supposedly being nice.” I blot at my tears with a tissue. In a manly way, of course.
He smirks. “And speaking of things you’ve been riding lately…Inez—I see she’s progressed to wearing your clothes now?” He waggles his brows.
Ugh. I knew he’d eventually bring that up.
“Shut up,” I mumble.
The other morning when my brothers had showed up at my house, Inez had walked into the kitchen, wearing my T-shirt that she sleeps in. And now, Darius has got an idea in his head.
The sickly billionaire grins at me. “So, you two are hooking up after all? You talked a big game about not crossing the line, but I guess you couldn’t resist in the end, huh, little brother?”
“Nope.” I pop the hell out of that ‘p’, clacking away at my computer. “We’re not hooking up.”
Darius looks thoroughly amused. “Oh, really? What’s the problem? Can’t seal the deal with the pretty girl?”
Letting out a rough exhale, I stretch back in my seat and stare up at the water-stained ceiling tiles. “She friend-zoned me.”
Uproarious laughter flares from my brother’s phlegmy chest. And then it morphs into a choke-cough-laugh thing that nearly knocks him out of his chair.
“Good for you for laughing at my distress. Go ahead and drop dead. Stella gets to cash out on that inheritance early. Nice.”
He takes a long swallow from his water bottle. “Assface. That’s why you’re not in my will. Anyway, Inez friend-zoned you?”
I wince. “Yeah.”
He nods slowly. “Welp—I guess you’re going to have to convince her to un-friend-zone you.”
I roll my eyes. “I thought you were on my side. I thought you agreed that I should be focusing on my priorities, and not on a relationship. What happened to ‘don’t get your honey where you make your money’?”
Darius shrugs. “I’ve had a change of heart. This cold has given me a new perspective on life. It’s pretty ridiculous of you to think that you can’t be a good dad while also having a life of your own.” He noisily blows his nose.
I sigh. “Yes. I want Inez. I do. But I can’t allow myself to pursue a relationship. I’m a dad. I’m committed to Stella and to being two parents in one. I can’t do that to my little girl.”
“Um, last time I checked, I’m pretty sure you can be a dad and go on a date.” Darius cough some more. “And judging by the way Inez looks at you, I’m thinking you were part of the reason she didn’t marry that TV show guy.”
My pulse starts pounding at that idea. It’s a thought I hadn’t previously allowed myself to entertain. Because that would be nothing but wishful thinking.
There’s a tingle at the base of my spine. It’s fear. I know it is. “I can’t start dating Inez. I can’t take the risk that Stella will get attached to her. Because when she leaves, what will I do then? I don’t want to see my daughter heartbroken. She already lost her mother. I couldn’t stand to see her lose another woman who’s important to her.”
Inez is so patient and encouraging with my daughter. I think about the way she sits with my little girl at the piano after dinner every night, watching her rehearse for her upcoming recital. My baby girl is getting better every day. In Inez’s nurturing presence, Stella is simply blooming in every way.
“Are you really scared that Stella will get attached?” Darius asks. “Or maybe, you’re more scared to get your own heart broken?”
I groan, my ex-wife flashing before my eyes. I’ve been married before. I’ve had a kind of heartbreak that my brothers will never know. At least, I hope they don’t. No one deserves that kind of pain. My marriage failed, and that’s that. Love’s just not in the cards for a single father like me.
“Look, this conversation is over. I’m done being psychoanalyzed by a sickly half-wit with boogers in his nose.” I huff.
Darius self-consciously blows his lungs out into a wad of tissues. “I do not have boogers in my nose.”
He doesn’t. “Do, too,” I taunt him anyway. Because that’s what brothers are for.
“Fuck you.” He grabs his water bottle and rises from his seat. “And fuck those ladybugs on your fingernails, too.”
Ugh. I’ve been meaning to ask Inez to help me with that. I can’t seem to get this stupid nail polish off.
I ball my hands into fists, hiding them under my desk. “If you know so much about relationships, why don’t you have the love of your life?”
“Most women bore me,” he says casually with a shrug. “I’d rather just make more money. To each their own, though.” He sneezes into the air with wild abandon and I have a feeling I’m going to need to disinfect every surface of this bar when he’s gone.
“Right.” I snort.
Before he steps out the door, he smirks over his shoulder. “Like I said, life’s short, Nolan. Do what makes you happy. Buy the fucking car. And bang the hot bartender.” He winks.
His footsteps carry down the hallway and with one final sneeze, I hear the back door slam shut.