Real Tree / Fake Boyfriend
1. Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Tyler
T he clink of silverware on fine crystal glass drew Tyler’s attention away from the perfect bite of food he built on his fork. With the ideal amount of mashed potatoes and stuffing as a base for the turkey, green beans, and cranberry sauce, the bite gleamed with the rich brown gravy as Tyler held it before his mouth.
Walter, his twin sister Hailey’s boyfriend, rose from his seat and turned to face Hailey, a sheen of sweat on his furrowed brow.
Tyler leaned forward to observe what was happening at the other table, where the adults sat because he apparently didn’t count as an adult. The perfect bite he created slipped from the fork and flopped onto his plate, lost forever in a sea of brown food. Gravy drops splashed onto the luxurious placemat, staining the gold embroidered leaves and burgundy fabric .
“Hailey Rose Ashford,” Walter said. He dropped onto one knee as if the entire family wasn’t in the middle of trying to enjoy their dinner. “This Thanksgiving has made me realize how grateful I am to have you. Since we met, you’ve made me smile every day, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you. So, I want to ask you now, in front of your family, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Hailey’s trembling hands covered her mouth as she nodded an emphatic yes . Tears glistened in her eyes, which darted around the room as if she expected someone to jump out and say gotcha! No one did, of course. The Ashfords were not a pranking family.
Tyler’s mother wore a tight-lipped smile, the closest look to pure approval Tyler had ever seen. He couldn’t see his dad’s face from where he sat but knew Dad had a proud grin plastered on. His older sister, Cecelia, dabbed at her eyes with a cloth napkin, but Tyler couldn’t see a single tear.
“Yes!” Hailey finally managed to breathe out. Her hand shook when she held it out so Walter could slide an unbelievably large diamond ring onto that finger before she hopped up and pulled him into an embrace .
“Gross,” Tyler said, making eye contact with Eliza, his younger cousin. At sixteen, she was seven years younger than he was. Yet, he sat at the kids’ table with her, his niece and nephew, and his cousin’s daughter.
“Mega gross,” Eliza agreed with a scoff. However, Tyler could see how her eyes drifted to his sister’s new finger candy with interest and appreciation… the traitor .
It wasn’t that Tyler disliked Walter. He was fine. For some reason, Hailey adored him, even though he was about as interesting as the color beige and sweat a little too much. Hailey and Walter had been together for three years, and it seemed reasonable that they would take that all-important leap into matrimony. Walter had boring, dishwater blond hair, perfectly straight teeth, and eyes of such an indiscriminate gray color that Tyler sometimes forgot he had eyes.
Hailey’s hair was the same rich, chestnut brown as Tyler’s, and her bright blue eyes, also the same as his, couldn’t be missed. Walter would look invisible in their engagement pictures.
Tyler’s parents liked Walter. He came from a well-off family, half of whom were in politics and the other half in finance. They brought the Ashfords out on their yacht one summer. It was a significant offset to listening to Walter discuss the thrills of his stock market job and his interest in antique stamp collecting. While the champagne and cheese on offer was delicious, it hadn’t been good enough to make Walter interesting to Tyler.
“When will you get engaged, Uncle Tyler?” Owen, his seven-year-old nephew, asked. He inherited Cecelia’s knack for being a little shit without meaning to.
Tyler narrowed his eyes at the seven-year-old’s innocent face, he could swear he saw evil looking back. “You just finish those green beans before I tell your mom you fed the rest to the dog.” The boy shook his head and shoveled in a bite of the beans.
Cece told Hailey she should use the same flower guy that she and Brad had used for their wedding. She also knew of a fantastic band that would be perfect. Cece had been married for nine years. She and Brad had gotten hitched right out of high school and started a family with kids only a few years later. Now, they were the face of a local contractor’s business and flipped houses for fun .
Tyler half expected Hailey to tell Cece to fuck off, that it was her wedding, and she would do it how she wanted. But Hailey took in the advice with a broad grin.
It had been five minutes, and Tyler couldn’t quite understand how the whole family had suddenly become wedding planners. They chimed in with poignant advice while Hailey excitedly took it all in.
“You’ll need to start on a guest list to know how much space you need before you decide on a venue. We will not be packed in there like sardines,” Ty’s mother said.
“You have to order your dress as soon as possible. Some can take eighteen months to come in,” their cousin, Bethann, explained pragmatically.
“But you need to maintain your weight if you order now, you can make a few tailored adjustments, but you don’t want to gain weight and have the completely wrong size,” his Aunt Michelle added.
Hailey basked in the attention, and even as the plates cleared, she didn’t move from her seat. Her dainty little hand was perfectly positioned to reflect the chandelier’ s light.
Dad, Uncle Gerard, and Brad shook Walter’s hand before they convinced him and Bethann’s husband, Bill, to go out for cigars. His mother hated it when his father smoked, but this was a special occasion, and a good cigar with a glass of his expensive Scotch was warranted.
Tyler sat at the kiddie table, watching as he was forgotten. He took a long sip of Pinot Noir and tried not to sulk.
Tyler was happy for Hailey, but it didn’t go unnoticed how he was the only adult in the room without a partner. It wasn’t that he was desperate for someone, but with this engagement, the looming loneliness weighed on his shoulders.
After college, he’d been hired by a massive company in their accounting department. Between that and working on a Master’s Degree, there was no time to go out and find someone.
In college, Tyler had been too busy getting the best GPA, the most illustrious internship, and all the qualifications needed for a head start after graduation. There was no time for a relationship then, either. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe .
“Hey,” Hailey said when she sat beside Tyler, which startled him from the sulking.
With some guilt, Tyler realized he hadn’t congratulated Hailey. “Hey.” Tyler tried to seem perky. “Congratulations!” it sounded fake to his ears. Hailey’s raised eyebrows told him she hadn’t missed it.
He pulled her in for a hug. “I love you. I’m happy for you. I know you wanted this,” he whispered and reached out to squeeze her arm gently when she pulled back.
Hailey had always been more of a free spirit than the rest of his family. Still, the one thing she always wanted to do by the books was get married as soon as possible, start a family, and be a mother. The joy in her eyes right now helped lift Tyler’s sour mood.
Hailey had gone to culinary school and worked freelance as a private chef. While Tyler’s parents had been dubious about her career course, she had done well in the few years since she graduated. Besides, Walter made enough money to keep them both comfortable, so whatever reservations his mother had when she started college were now erased.
“You sound the most unhappy. I thought you liked Walter. You know he’s a great guy,” Hailey said. Her eyes narrowed like they always did when Tyler thought she was reading his mind.
He narrowed his eyes right back at her. “I do like Walter.” He didn’t really know him. “I like that he makes you happy, Hail.” This sounded much more truthful.
She looked down at her obscene diamond and bent her finger. Tyler watched it sparkle under the warm lights. “He makes me really happy.”
Tyler offered her a softer smile. “Whatever happened to marrying a redheaded marine biologist who could speak to whales?” he asked.
His sister laughed and tapped her nose. “Those stupid lists. What was on yours?”
When they were in high school, Tyler had freshly come out to his family, and he and Hailey made a list of their perfect husbands. It mainly had been Hailey’s doing, but Tyler had managed a sizable list of his own .
“Charming, talented, intelligent, wealthy,” Tyler rattled off, “I am willing to compromise on the Irish accent and being the prince of a small country, though, if he’s perfect in every other way.”
Hailey’s gaze drifted to the door Walter had just come back through. “I think the important thing is being in love. Nothing else matters if you have someone you’re happy to see whenever they walk into a room.” She looked back to Tyler, and her expression rapidly went from soft to serious. “You know we all want that for you, right? Mom, me, Cece especially. You work hard, and I know you love your job, but don’t you think it’s time to find someone?”
He clenched his jaw and looked away from the ring. It was one thing to lament his own lack of a love life and another to know his mother and sisters had been talking shit behind his back. “Yeah. Sure. Because it’s that easy. You do realize dating apps are actual hellscapes, right?”
“Okay, but you have to put yourself out there. When was the last time you even had a date, Ty?” Hailey asked. She snagged his glass and drank the rest of his wine.
“You just drank all of my backwash,” he said, not wanting to answer. It had been long enough that Tyler honestly couldn’t remember the last time he went on a date. Did random hookups in college count? None of the guys had ever ticked off his boxes, nor had he been excited enough to call them back. None of them had called him back either.
Hailey whacked him on the shoulder. “You’re disgusting. Just do me a favor? Try to loosen up a little. Let yourself meet someone, and don’t focus so much on your job. You’re a great person, and I hate to imagine you hours away, with no one who cares if you come home or not.”
Tyler really didn’t need his loneliness to be reinforced. He forced a grin. “I’ll get one of those buttons to press to call 911 if I fall. Then you won’t have to worry,” he replied. He grabbed her hand and looked down at her ring. Tyler let out a low whistle. “Walter really knows what you like, doesn’t he?”
She laughed. “Yeah, well, I told him what I wanted, but he picked it out all on his own. I didn’t know he would do this today, but I had a feeling it would happen soon.” She watched the ring glint in the light with a dreamy smile on her lips .
Tyler let go of her hand. “Hailey, do me a favor, alright?“ he asked, more serious now. “Don’t let Mom, Cece, or anyone try to take over your big day. Because I know them, they have been thinking about this longer than you. But I want your wedding to be what you want it to be.”
“Just wait until you bring someone home. They'll try to micromanage you, too. It might take some heat off me.” She leaned in and nudged him. “Come on. I saw Uncle Gerard eyeing up the pecan tartlets already. If we’re not careful, there might not be any left.”
Tyler shot up, taking his dirty plate and empty glass with him. There was no way he would miss out on the pecan tartlets. If anything could break him out of his moping, it was dessert.