8. Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Julien
H ailey Ashford looked exactly like Tyler. She was shorter by several inches but slender, with thick, dark hair and those same bright blue eyes. However, she seemed completely different than Tyler, somehow. More at ease, more comfortable.
Even as she and Tyler hugged, she screamed that they had both chosen to wear a green sweater and declared it Twintuition.
Julien thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard, but it was also sweet.
Hailey wiggled around the room as if the excitement of seeing her brother was too much to handle. Meanwhile, Tyler seemed calculated and careful in his moves, as if he didn’t want to make one false step.
That’s because he is , Julian thought to himself. Because they were putting on a charade in front of his family, Tyler wasn’ t afraid he would make a false step. He was scared Julien would.
Hailey’s fiancé, Walter, approached Julien while Hailey still wiggled around her brother and spoke so swiftly that Julien couldn’t keep up.
“Hi, I’m Walter. It’s nice to meet you, Julien,” Walter shook his hand with a smile. His khaki pants and beige shirt didn’t do the guy any favors, but Julien had just learned about fashion that week, so who was he to judge?
Julien shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Hailey seemed to realize Julien was there, and she hurried over to him. “I’m a hugger,” she warned before immediately throwing her arms around Julien’s neck. “It is so good to meet you. Seriously!” She moved her hands to grasp Julien’s as she stared at him. “Oh, my god, and you are so cute. Tyler, you didn’t say he was this cute.”
Tyler mumbled behind him, “Sorry. Yeah. He’s cute.”
Julien had never been called cute before. He didn’t know how to react. He looked at Hailey’s hand holding his .
Hailey’s position seemed intentional, with her knuckles on full display. The large diamond on her finger sparkled and captured all the attention.
“Congratulations,” he said and gestured to it. He nodded to Walter. “Nice job,” he added sincerely, because Christ, that’s a rock I wish I could afford .
The vague thought of how much the ring might be worth crossed his mind. He could casually slip it off Hailey’s finger and be on his way.
Hailey let go of Julien’s hands and went to her partner. “I know. He’s the best.” She gave Walter such a soft look Julien’s stomach hurt.
Walter smiled and leaned in to kiss the woman’s temple.
Julien looked away and stepped to Tyler, who grimaced.
“All good?” Julien assumed he had done something wrong. Taking the lead from the couple before them, Julien put his arm around Tyler.
Ty fit perfectly under his arm, and Julien wondered if they looked as good as Hailey and Walter.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Tyler told him. He tilted his face to Julien and smiled softer. “It’s going well.”
Before Julien could ask why Tyler was making a face, the door opened, and a little girl ran into the house. “Uncle Tyler!” she called, rushing over and grabbing Tyler’s knees.
She had blonde hair tied up in two fluffy ponytails and tiny glasses on her face. She couldn’t have been more than five. She wore a red skirt with a plaid sweater.
A little boy followed her quickly. He took her hand very seriously. He had on the same plaid sweater and red pants. He looked up at Julien warily, stranger danger written all over his tiny features.
Tyler bent to hug them both. “You guys got big!” he exclaimed.
“You saw us at Thanksgiving,” the older boy said. “We haven’t even grown that much on our charts.” He put his free hand on his hip.
Another couple walked in. Both wore matching clothing to the children .
“You must be Julien,” the woman said. Julien assumed this was Cecelia, Tyler’s older sister. She was the spitting image of their mother but with their father’s brown eyes. She looked Julien over with such a stern and appraising look that he couldn’t tell if she was satisfied.
When Julien stuck his hand out and introduced himself, Cece looked at it before her husband, Brad, stepped forward. His sandy hair was sleek, left a little longer at the top and tight at the sides. Instead of wearing a sweater to match his children and wife, he wore a traditional red polo shirt. Somehow, it made him look like an overgrown frat boy who did dubious things to his friends in college.
He took Julien’s hand in a grip that was too firm as if he were trying to prove something.
“Yeah, hey.” Julien nodded to them both.
“I’m Brad, this is my wife, Cece,” Brad introduced. He then gestured to the kids. “These are our children, Owen and Kelsey.”
“Nice to meet you,” Julien said, unsure he meant it.
With introductions sorted, Brad rushed off from the group of siblings to greet his in-laws with authority.
“It was such a surprise to know you were coming to Christmas.” Cece smiled at Julien in a way that didn’t reach her eyes. “Tyler didn’t even tell us about you. At all.”
“Give it a rest, Cee,” Hailey giggled. “Come on, I’m going to need your help.” She turned from Cece to the children. “You guys, too, these cookies will not bake themselves. We have to get started now because I have to make at least another three dozen, plus extras for us,” Hailey jabbered on, taking both tiny hands to lead them into the kitchen.
Tyler followed unprompted, and Julien stood back, unsure if he was expected to help. The sudden influx of family made the large house feel small.
Mr. Ashford and Brad bustled into the kitchen, discussing the local housing market. At the same time, Cece pulled out bowls and ingredients from the cupboards. Tyler brought chairs to the island so the kids could stand on them while Hailey took out a huge list and set it down.
“We need rum balls, chocolate crinkle cookies, snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, and gingerbread men,” she stated .
Julien didn’t know how many cookies would be made today, but he felt they would be there a while.
Mrs. Ashford was in the dining room with several boxes on the table. She carefully pulled out holiday decorations and inspected them before putting them back in the box or on the table.
“Brad, help Mom,” Cece called to her husband as she washed her hands.
Brad didn’t even hesitate and went over to ask his mother-in-law what she needed.
With everyone distracted, Julien knew this was the perfect moment to sneak out for that much-needed cigarette. He stepped toward the front door.
He found the door locked and, upon trying to unlock it, felt like a complete idiot. He tried to pull on it, confused by the entire mechanism.
“It’s kind of weird,” Walter told him.
Julien jumped because he hadn’t noticed who came up behind him .
“Fucking Jesus.” Julien took a breath. “Yeah, it’s childproof or something.”
Walter shook his head. “No, just tricky. You should have seen me the first time I tried to leave. It took forever. I thought I might die of embarrassment. You have to unlatch it here.” Walter reached up and flicked a latch on the top of the door.
Before Julien could pull it open, though, Tyler approached him. “Where are you going?” He touched Julien’s arm. He held one of those orange-vanilla seltzers and offered it to Julien.
“Outside?” Julien took the can without a second thought.
Walter gave Julien a nod before he went back to hover in the kitchen.
Tyler frowned at him. “You’re here to spend time with me and my family, not disappear outside,” he hissed.
Frustration bubbled in Julien’s chest. “So, what, I’m your prisoner now?” he asked.
Tyler actually pouted. His bottom lip stuck out like a cartoon character, and as much as Julien wanted to push his face away and continue with his plan, something in his stomach flipped. The urge to lean in and bite that stupid bottom lip was so overwhelming that he stepped away from the door.
“No. But don’t leave me in here to fend for myself.” Tyler finally dropped the pout so Julien could think again.
“Fine,” Julien said.
He followed Tyler back into the kitchen. Tyler immediately went to the other side of the island and helped Hailey measure the ingredients for one cookie or another.
Julien had no idea where to go or what to do. He stood there drinking his seltzer and watched the family move around each other with ease. They laughed and joked, and even Tyler seemed to loosen up. It was as if they had all been choreographing this dance for years, and Jules wasn’t sure if he was supposed to jump in or if he was supposed to stand there and watch.
Cece alternated between giving her children instructions and demanding her husband help her with them. Brad worked with Mrs. Ashford to put up wreaths before heading back into the kitchen to follow his wife’s orders with only a few noticeable eye rolls.
Tyler laughed with his sister and father. The adults routinely checked on the kids, who were having fun as they mixed batters and stole tastes of the dough.
Watching this picture of holiday bliss unfold in front of him made his chest ache in a way he didn’t know how to describe. He was glad, at least, that Duke had decided to sit on his feet while he stood off the sidelines, which gave him an excuse not to move.
“It’s nice to have you here, you know,” Walter said as he approached Julien’s side and looked at the family in the kitchen. “I sometimes feel like a total outsider.”
Julien raised his eyebrows. “Really? But you and Hailey are getting married,” he pointed out.
“I know, but I still feel like the new guy, sometimes,” he admitted. “They can be intimidating. I’m an only child. I’m used to quiet Christmases. But whatever they do is perfect. As if they’re living in one of those silly Christmas movies. ”
Julien watched Wally as he watched the Ashfords. He could see what he meant. Everything from the house to the coordinating clothing to how they carefully decorated Christmas cookies with big smiles on their faces seemed unreal.
Julien didn’t know scenes like this existed outside of movies. His Christmas tradition was watching stupid rom-coms on TV while eating shitty takeout. This looked more like a ritual where he didn’t think he would ever fit in.
No, the real Julien wouldn’t fit in, but the Julien Tyler wanted him to be should . The pout burned itself into his mind, and even though Tyler seemed content enough for Julien to spectate the familial charm, Julien wasn’t going to give Tyler any reason to back out of paying him.
“Come on, Wally,” he said, making a decision. If he had to play a good boyfriend, he would play it well. A selfish part of him considered how if he got to enjoy some cliché Christmas traditions, that would be a bit of a bonus. “Let’s get in there.” He clapped Wally on the back and nodded toward the group.
He shifted his foot carefully, and Duke didn’t notice that his bed was gone.
Walter looked confused, his mouth open and his eyes wide. “I…oh, okay. Sure, yeah.” Wally followed his lead.
“Do you need us to do anything?” Julien asked. He rested his hand on Tyler’s lower back. He felt Tyler stiffen a little, then relax as he tilted his head back to look at him. The soft smile on his mouth looked inviting. Julien considered leaning in and kissing him for a moment. They were boyfriends. He could do that.
Before he could make the choice, Hailey piped up.
“Yes! I need you guys on the nuts. They’re not going to chop themselves.” She handed them both a knife and a few different bags of nuts. “Don’t chop all of them. We have to roast a few of each variety, too.”
“I think we can handle our nuts, right, Wally?” He stepped away from Tyler and nudged Walter.
Walter laughed with a loud snort, causing everyone, even Duke, to look at him. “Wouldn’t be the first time I handled my nuts, Jules,” he said as he sat down to chop. Julien laughed at his joke .
Hailey watched Walter with such an awestruck expression Julien didn’t want to witness it. He looked back to Tyler, who regarded him with almost the same expression his sister wore.
Julien’s smile fell a little. He was suddenly unsure if he had done something wrong. Still, Walter chatted onward, and Jules didn’t think the atmosphere had become awkward. He continued to chop nuts, then helped Cece take some trays out of the oven, even when she had barked the order to Brad.
When the rum came out for the rum balls, Mr. Ashford suggested they all have a little tipple, even though Mrs. Ashford came in and scoffed, telling them it wasn’t even five o’clock.
“It’s five o’clock somewhere, Mom.” Hailey poured them all a shot.
Hmm, I’m starting to like Hailey, thought Julien.
Ultimately, Connie did the shot with them, sipping it delicately.
Once the cookies were done, Hailey chased everyone outside the kitchen except the kids, whom she employed as her helpers to make dinner.
Mr. Ashford poured the rest of them a chilled white wine, which he explained was 2002 Chablis.
“Mr. Ashford is really into wine,” Walter whispered, sitting on Julien’s other side on the sectional sofa. It wasn’t nearly as soft as Tyler’s, but it was still comfortable. No springs in his butt here, either.
“I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about half the time. I just agree with whatever he tells me it’s supposed to taste like,” Walter continued with a grin.
Julien grinned in return and took a sip. “Ah yes, I’m getting strong notes of grape and, hmm, yep, more grape,” he said in a low, serious voice.
Walter snorted a laugh again. “God, this guy is hilarious,” he announced.
Julien hadn’t ever considered himself funny, but he was getting the sense that Walter didn’t spend much time around anyone with even a minuscule sense of humor .
“Yeah, I know.” Tyler’s brow was furrowed in a puzzled way.
Julien shifted and draped his arm behind Tyler. He reminded himself they had to sell it, and casual touching was normal.
Tyler immediately snuggled against him and swirled the wine in his glass, his blue eyes intently focused on the liquid.
“So, how was it you two met?” Mr. Ashford asked after he had sniffed and savored his first three sips of wine.
“Cameron,” Tyler said quickly. “Cam introduced us. At one of his shows.”
Julien nodded, remembering the basic story they had spun. So far, he’d managed to keep their story pretty straight. No one had asked anything profound, looked at him, said Julien was fake, and demanded that he leave their house immediately. He took that as a good sign that he was doing well. “Yeah, then we went out for dinner and hit it off.”
“That’s nice of Cameron to hook you guys up. I know we were all waiting for Tyler to finally meet someone,” Mr. Ashford said.
Tyler sunk into the seat, pushing himself deeper under Julien’s arm. “Come on, Dad,” he said. “I was fine.”
“I know, I know. You just are so lonely all the time. We’re glad you’re in the picture now, Julien.” Mr. Ashford took another lingering sip of his wine.
Julien felt guilty about lying to these friendly people because he was pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Tyler deserved to have a wonderful boyfriend and not someone worthless like Jules.
At least he could pretend to be nothing like himself.
“Don’t get too drunk. The kids and I are making magic in here,” came Hailey’s voice from the kitchen. “Twenty minutes!”
Tyler stayed quiet while the rest of the family chatted about Walter’s parents and their plans to spend Christmas with Walter’s aunt at Martha’s Vineyard. Julien was glad that no attention was being given to him.
He gave Tyler a little squeeze, not thinking about it. He hoped there weren’t any second thoughts about keeping this act up now that he was lying to his parents.