24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Tyler

T yler sat in the passenger seat of Wally’s car, staring out the window as Julien sped down the icy roads. It started to snow when they left the ice-skating rink, and big fat flakes stuck to the ground.

Julien hadn’t spoken since they had gotten into the car, and Tyler didn’t know what to say to break the tense silence. The change in Julien had been so rapid that Tyler felt at risk for whiplash.

Now, he was sure that Julien was hiding something from him. He first thought nothing of it when he spotted Julien talking to a stranger outside. But their posture had shifted, and Tyler was confident they knew one another. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to ask who he was. Is he an actual boyfriend? Or a jealous ex?

He looked a little dangerous, and Tyler could imagine that was the sort of guy Julien wanted. Because clearly, Julien wasn’t actually interested in anyone like Tyler . He made that perfectly clear.

It all left a bad taste in his mouth. How could this go from feeling real to suddenly being fake once more? “Are we just going to pretend like we didn’t have sex last night?” Tyler asked, unable to restrain himself.

Julien’s knuckles went white on the steering wheel. “That was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”

Tyler wasn’t sorry. In fact, he would happily do it again and again, but that seemed wildly out of the question now. “It wasn’t a mistake for me. Is this because of that guy?”

Julien swerved dangerously as he hit a patch of ice already accumulated on the ground. Tyler grabbed the handle above his window as Julien managed to get them back onto the road without spinning off it.

“What guy?” he whispered.

So, there wasn’t going to be any honesty here. Tyler shouldn’t be surprised. “I just—thought…” He shook his head. Disappointment, anger, and rejection combined to create a violent cocktail inside. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know?” He shook his head. “I literally don’t know what you want from me. You act like you’ve been interested for days, and now this? I think you owe me some explanation.”

Tyler watched Julien’s Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed. “This was just about the money, Tyler. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“You said it wasn’t last night,” Tyler spat. “So, what now? You’re an escort, and I’m a guy that pays for sex?” A sick feeling bubbled up from his stomach and into his throat. He would not cry. Despite the ache in the back of his eyes and his voice wavering a little, he wouldn’t let Julien make him feel like shit.

Julien’s eyes were glued to the road. He didn’t even have the decency to look at Tyler. “No. But one fuck doesn’t make you my boyfriend.”

Tyler pressed his lips together. No. No, it didn’t, but one fuck, one date, and a week spent together seemed like they could maybe get there. He didn’t know what had suddenly changed, but he knew it had to do with that man.

Julien returned to that grumpy, unhappy guy he had known before. It was as though all of the walls Tyler had managed to get through had been rebuilt with barbed wire at the top.

He wanted to push, ask him again, and make Julien tell him, but he was too upset to even think of what to say.

Tyler watched out the window as the snow grew heavier and accumulated rapidly on the ground until they finally turned into the driveway of his parents’ home.

He barely waited for Julien to park before he hopped out and stomped inside. Cece and Brad sat in the living room, showing the kids pictures of Christmases gone by, and they looked up when he stormed in.

“How was your date?” Cece asked.

“Fine.” Tyler intended to go upstairs to his room to sulk. He wiped his eyes, trying to keep his shit together.

Brad’s brow furrowed. “What the heck happened?”

“Nothing,” Tyler said.

“Do you need me to rough him up for you?” Brad persisted .

Tyler fought the urge to say something that would seriously destroy what was left of his sister’s marriage. Luckily, his mother peeked her head into the living room.

“Tyler, can I speak with you in my office?” she asked.

Tyler followed her through the French doors on the other side of the kitchen. The office was a meticulous room with an ergonomic desk, chair, and a great backyard view. Some minimalist bookshelves held encyclopedias and potted plants.

“What’s up?” Tyler asked her. He sat on the bench near the window while his mother slid into the desk chair and put her glasses on. She turned her laptop to him.

“You tell me. I went through our bank statements and noticed you took out a large withdrawal recently,” Mom pointed to the six-thousand-dollar withdrawal on the bank’s online page.

“Is it drugs?”

Tyler’s heart dropped. He knew his mom was on his bank accounts, and Tyler hadn’t thought she would even notice because he never had anything to hide. Of course, she would see a larger-than-average transaction. Tyler seldom used cash.

“No, Mom, no, it’s not drugs,” he said. His cheeks burned with shame, and his heart ached with another reminder of how fake the relationship with Julien had been the entire time.

“Are you in some sort of trouble?” his mother asked, her lips pressed together expectantly. “I trust you, Tyler, but you have to tell me if there is something we should worry about. Your father and I can help figure it out.”

Tyler shook his head. “It was for Julien,” he said before he could stop himself.

Mom leaned back and took her glasses off, and then she let out a sigh. “Of course. I know you care about him, but I hope he’s not freeloading.”

“No. No, it’s not real.” Tyler buried his face in his hands, unable to face his mother’s inevitable look of disgust. “The money was to pay him to pretend to be my boyfriend over Christmas,” he said, his voice muffled. His heart thudded in his ears .

His mother breathed audibly through her nose and then exhaled before finally speaking. “You paid him to pretend to—?”

“To be my boyfriend, yes,” Tyler quickly cut her off.

“Why?” she asked with a soft voice but held a questioning tone. When Tyler looked up, his mother’s brow was furrowed, and a frown tugged at the corners of her lips.

“Everyone else has someone or thinks there’s something wrong with me because I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m so tired of sitting at the kids’ table,” he said. “If I had someone this year, you guys wouldn’t look at me like I am a useless, single part of the family.” Despite trying to hold it back, Tyler slid his glasses to his head and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes to hide the tears that threatened to spill out.

His mother removed her glasses and pressed her lips together for a long moment before speaking, choosing her words carefully. “I’m sorry. We don’t feel that way, Tyler. But I am sorry that we created an environment that caused you to feel as though we do.”

Tyler hadn’t expected an apology. He didn’t deserve one after lying to the family.

“It’s…whatever. Once I gave Jules the money and told him to go, but he stayed, I thought he might…that we might….” Tyler stopped speaking and slouched.

Mom reached over and put a hand over his. “I see the way you two look at each other. That sort of connection can’t be faked, Tyler.”

“Apparently, it can be.” Tyler thought about how easily Julien had reminded him that their whole deal was fake, despite the sex, the kissing, the intimacy, everything.

He buried his face in his hands again to try not to cry. “God, I’m so stupid. I really like him. Why would I do something like that? He’s not the sort of guy I should go for.”

His mom laughed and shook her head. “What sort of guy should you go out with?” she asked. “Someone like Brad? Someone like Walter? Honey, you’re your own person. Your father and I have never told you who you should love. We don’t care if they’re a mechanic or a CEO. Does that matter to you ? ”

It had mattered to him. He always wanted a perfect life, like the one his parents had. Tyler envisioned the ideal partner with a promising career. Now, he wondered if any of that would make him happy or if perfection was realistic. He considered Cece and Brad’s relationship.

“That being said, I am not sure how I feel about this Julien boy,” his mother added. “Why is he taking money from you? Is it drugs?”

“Oh, my god, Mom. Why is it always drugs? No one is doing drugs,” Tyler said. “I guess he just needed the money. It was stupid. The whole idea was reckless. I wish I never did it.”

His mother sighed. “Well, I think you should talk to him. I can’t tell you what to do with your money, but I can say that he seems to make you happy. I think you should let yourself explore that.”

“I… yeah, I guess I’ll talk to him,” Tyler said. The prospect of a formal chat with Julien didn’t sound likely or appealing, especially not after the harsh car ride. “Sorry for lying.”

She shook her head. “You don’t owe me an apology. I hope that in the future, we can all be more open and honest.”

“Ugh…. I’d rather not have anyone else know about this just yet, if possible,” he admitted.

“Of course not.”

Tyler stood up and felt his stomach drop as he realized he still had to face Julien and maybe figure out what the Hell had just happened. Somehow, that seemed worse than talking to his mother. He never would have imagined he could think that.

Mom crossed the room and pulled Tyler in for a hug. It was such a surprise that Tyler didn’t react for a beat. Mom was rarely physical. Tyler relaxed into the hug and wrapped his arms around her small frame.

“I love you, Honey. Whatever you need, you can always talk to me.”

Tyler blinked several times before he stepped away. “Love you too, Mom.”

Julien wasn’t anywhere in sight when Tyler stepped back out to the great room. Tyler couldn’t bring himself to go upstairs and look for him. Instead, he busied himself and helped Hailey prepare for Christmas Eve dinner. It would just be the immediate family, and Hailey was making pork in a mustard sauce with cheesy herbed rolls. They smelled so good Tyler’s stomach only ached more.

“Oh, look,” Cece said with a scoff as she helped with the dishes. “They’re going to track snow everywhere, goddammit.”

Tyler went over to the sink and glanced out the window. Julien wasn’t in his room but instead was being chased by Owen, who had a handful of soggy snow in his gloved hand.

The snow had already reached almost ankle height and was coming down with great speed, illuminated by the white Christmas lights on the border of the back of the house.

Julien seemed to have taken it upon himself to have a snowball fight with Cece’s kids, Owen and Kelsey. Brad walked over to Jules and spoke before clapping Julien on the back. A snowball flew their way, and Julien and Brad both chuckled.

Snow clumps stood out on Julien’s black jacket and long hair, and he fended off the attack on him with gentle tosses of snow at the children.

Tyler felt a smile pull at the corners of his lips before he realized what he was doing. He forced the smile away and turned from the window. “They’re just having fun,” he grumbled.

Somehow, watching Julien with his family hurt more when he harshly rejected Tyler.

“They’ll be soaked to the bone. I’ll have to give them a bath before dinner now,” Cece complained. “I thought you were going to talk to him anyway,” she said pointedly.

“Aww, they’re cute. Let them have fun,” Hailey protested. “You’re so uptight,” she teased their older sister.

Cece shook her head and went to the back door. “Can you all come inside, please,” she called out, and soon enough, four snow-covered humans sloshed into the great room, dripping and shivering against the sudden warmth of the house.

“Brad, I can’t believe you would let them get this soaked before dinner.” Cece picked Kelsey up and instructed Owen to take off his shoes. “Mom! I need to use your bath. Tyler, don’t just stand there. Go get a towel, or they’ll ruin the floor. ”

By the time Tyler came back with a towel for the floor. Julian had pulled his shoes off, as well as his jacket. The snowflakes had become water droplets on his hair and eyelashes, quivering dangerously with each move he made.

“You probably have time for a shower before dinner.” Tyler handed Julien a smaller towel and draped the large one on the floor. He couldn’t even meet Julien’s eye. “You must be freezing.”

Whatever amusement Julien might have had from playing with Tyler’s niblings disappeared when Tyler spoke, making his chest tighten. “I’m not staying for dinner. Brad’s taking me into town once he makes a call.”

“Why?” Tyler asked, but he wasn’t surprised. “Is this about what… happened in the car?”

Julien leaned down to dab some packed snow that stuck to his jeans. “It’s complicated, Tyler.”

Tyler swallowed, and his heart sank to the floor. “Can we talk before you go?” he asked. The past few days with Julien had been complicated and confusing, but most of all, they had been unforgettable. Even if things had started weird, his feelings for Julien had twisted around him, and now he felt strangled by them.

“I should go get changed. Thanks for the towel.” Julien handed the wet towel back to Tyler and went upstairs.

The answer was clear. There wouldn’t be any talking, any understanding. Julien would go and, just like that, be out of Tyler’s life forever.

If ads affect your reading experience, click here to remove ads on this page.