Chapter Three Carys #3
I’m surrounded by women professing variations on ‘tall, dark and handsome’ so I guess looks do matter.
I can’t fault their taste; I’m not immune to the charms of any Mr Darcy (and I sit firmly in the camp that both adaptations of Pride and Prejudice are good in their own ways).
But does that mean my type is also a tall brunette white man? I don’t really know.
‘I love a tall man,’ sighs Bridget. ‘Six foot? Yes please.’
‘Yeah, but is he actually fit, or just far away?’ says Whit.
‘Oh, babes,’ Bridget says wistfully, her voice low and throaty. ‘I’ve had a few just far aways in my time.’
Whit pokes Dolly in the leg. ‘What about you?’
‘I’m more attracted to personality,’ she says.
I’m so relieved that someone feels the same as me that I hardly notice when everyone groans.
‘That’s a copout,’ grumbles Bridget.
‘It’s not,’ Dolly insists. ‘And I’m not saying I’m a sapiosexual—’
The final Hannah gasps and looks at everyone nervously. ‘Dolly, I don’t think you can say that word.’
There’s a moment of confusion while everyone reassures her that it’s not a slur.
Bridget giggles. ‘And I thought it meant you fancied chimpanzees.’
‘King Kong’s a bit much for me,’ Dolly says and I resist the urge to point out he’s actually the last of a species of gigantic gorilla-like apes. Mikey had a real thing for B-movies.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ Dolly continues. ‘I want to feel that spark and snog their face off, but I think it’s not always the only type of attraction for me. Like it could be charisma or charm or humour instead.’
No one else seems on her wavelength, so I find myself saying, ‘I feel the same, Dolly.’
She gives me a big warm smile. ‘See, Carys and I are just more enlightened than the rest of you,’ she says jokingly, and everyone laughs. ‘I am just teasing, I promise. Here’s to hot husbands for us all.’
And at that, everyone gets up to cheer glasses again.
The unfamiliar sound of the front door closing rings through the room and we all turn in unison.
‘Well, ladies, good to see you’re all getting on well,’ says Karina Nguyen.
The Karina Nguyen. Ethereally beautiful, former model turned television presenter, and happily married mother of two.
She’s the woman we’re all trying to be. Or at least, I am.
She’s been writing a newsletter for a few years about her experiences with growing her own food that I’ve been reading for ages.
I would kill for that kind of smallholding life, I think. She makes it look perfect.
As she approaches, a few of the women check their makeup in the blurry bronze cup reflection.
‘Don’t worry, ladies. There’s no cameras yet.
Just me,’ Karina says, perching on the arm of the couch next to me.
I can’t believe the real Karina Nguyen is sitting so close to me.
Mum said that famous people always look like they smell good, and she does.
‘The team still want to film after dinner, but I wanted to come in and get to know you first.’
We all introduce ourselves one after the other – which helps fill the gaps for me on which Hannah is which. We say what we do and where we’re from as though we’re practising for our dates tomorrow.
There are a few confused looks when I say I’m an educator on a city farm. Hannah C. narrows her eyes at me. ‘Hang on, a city farm?’
I’m used to this confusion. ‘Yeah, it’s a farm, but in the city.’
‘Why?’ She tilts her head like a confused puppy.
‘Why what?’
‘Why is it there?’
This question feels more existential than I usually get.
I glance over at Karina, and the approving look she gives me powers me on.
‘Why any farm? We grow food and raise animals, but we also bring schools in to teach students about where their food comes from. There are mental health benefits – all that good green outside space – and we have gardening and craft classes too.’
‘But… it’s in the city?’
I really don’t know how else to explain this without having a phone to hand to show her the beautiful photos on our website.
The stables and animal enclosures backdropped by trees and plants, and then the gigantic tower blocks of the financial district of London.
I guess it probably is a bit odd if you’ve never been to one.
‘I’m sure Carys can explain in full later,’ says Karina, gently but swiftly moving the conversation along.
‘Tomorrow you’ll get the show-scripted spiel but I wanted to remind you to have fun, and if you’re not having fun make sure you talk to your chaperones.
I’ve been on TV a long time. I know how the doubts can creep in. ’
She looks down briefly, and I wonder how hard life in the public eye has been for her. I feel like I’m always being watched, but she really is.
‘I got through all that thanks to the people around me. I know with a dating show, it can feel competitive, but the friendships you form here could last your lifetime. Stick together, support each other, and you will all have the most wonderful experience.’
I suddenly feel a lot of affection for the women around me. We’re bonded by this weird and unique journey, and nothing will take that away. That feels special.
Even more so with Dolly.
‘Right, ladies, I’ve got kids to feed and put to bed.’ Karina rises with complete poise. ‘I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.’
As Karina waves goodbye, Dolly catches my eye and smiles. Does she feel it too? It’s a wild thing to know that someone is going to be very important to you.
And I know that Dolly is going to be. I can feel it.
Script: Episode One intro
[Karina and Lucas Nguyen stand in a softly lit corridor, with doors visible down the side of one wall.]
KARINA Welcome to Wedded Bliss! Over the next two days, our twenty contestants will be matched up together to explore a voice-only connection.
LUCAS Here at Wedded Bliss we believe true love runs deep, so we think that the foundations to solid connections can be built off words alone. Don’t worry, they do get to see each other, but let’s see what sparks are lit when only conversation is on the table.
KARINA We’ve selected our ten men and ten women through an extensive, specialist matchmaking programme that ensures that each contestant has multiple possible matches based on wants, likes and type, but it’s up to them to decide who is the one for them.
LUCAS For the first two days, every woman will date every man to see if any sparks fly.
KARINA After that, they will each decide if they’d like to see each other again. If it’s a yes on both sides, they get a second date, their match still unseen. It’s such a wonderful process, I’m so excited for everyone!
LUCAS And maybe at the end of the road they’ll find Wedded Bliss, just like we have.
[Karina and Lucas kiss as the camera zooms out.]