Chapter Fourteen Dolly #2
I follow Reb through to backstage. I just about manage not to look at Carys until we are level, and she flashes the quickest sharp smile at me from behind her mouth.
What the hell am I walking into?
Reb leads me out to the small kitchen area to wait for Louise, and as I take a seat, I can’t help but notice one of the doors a little away from me open and close. Through the gap, I see a flash of screens, at least one for every single date cubicle, plus several angles in our living quarters.
‘Hey, babe,’ says Posh Louise, sliding into a seat next to me. In her hand is a gigantic insulated cup with the Wedded Bliss logo on the front.
‘Hiya. No day off today?’
‘What’s one of those?’ she says with a sigh. ‘We’re all stationed down the road so if anyone has a crisis we can come get you.’
‘Am I having a crisis?’
‘You tell me.’ She takes a long sip from her jug.
‘Hey, can I get one of those?’ I ask idly.
‘No,’ she says briskly.
‘On Love Island they’d give us one,’ I tease.
Posh Louise raps her knuckles on the table, clearly not having any of my nonsense today. ‘I’ve just spoken to Reb about your little incident with Carys.’
‘I wouldn’t call it an incident so much as a spat,’ I say, keeping my voice easy breezy.
‘As far as I’m concerned, as long as you haven’t punched the girl, all is fine. The only thing is that Carys has put in a room transfer because of your argument over Patrick.’
Interesting that Carys picked the same argument cover as me. I mean, it makes the most sense – what else are two heterosexual women most likely to fight about on a high-intensity show that ends with weddings?
It’s weird that we’re somehow on the same page even when we’re fighting, or whatever this is.
‘Bridget’s roommate Lina is going to swap with Carys, so you’ll room with her. That alright? While she packs, you can stay out here and do some interviews for us.’
I try to school my face so that the surprise I feel doesn’t leak out. ‘Interviews?’
‘Babe,’ she says, fixing her eyes at me over the rim of her glasses. ‘Arguments over men is what the show lives for. Work with me here. You’ve already made paperwork for me and I haaate paperwork.’
Provided I stick to the same script as what I told Whit, this should play alright. Yes, there’ll be differences between Carys’s and my versions of the story, but as they say there’s always three sides to any story – hers, mine and the truth.
‘Of course.’
Louise beams at me. ‘Good! I knew you wouldn’t let me down.’
While Carys had occupied the bathroom, I’d got dressed into my loungewear set but I’m still wearing last night’s makeup, plus some of Carys’s. ‘Louise, can you get me some of my makeup before you stick me in front of the big lights?’
‘Oh, but it’s so much more authentic if you look like you’ve just been pulled out the fight.’
She gets up then frowns. I try not to be offended as she leans across the table to get a better look at me. Even more so when she turns on her phone torch. I can only imagine just how many chin hairs she’s lighting up. ‘Actually, on second thoughts, I’ll get someone to go get your makeup for you.’
‘Thanks,’ I say flatly.
When I get back to the dorms, a few of the girls are sitting in the living room, but the atmosphere is off. I guess everyone knows about our fight now.
Lovely Lina gets up to greet me. You can always trust a Scot to be sound, so I know we’ll be alright in this weird shift around.
‘You doing okay?’ she asks, her voice lower than usual, which is impressive given how soft-spoken she is.
I answer honestly. ‘Not really.’
‘Are you a hugger?’
‘I’ll take one if you’re offering.’
I wish I could turn off the part of my brain that thinks about what this will look like on TV, but given Lina is much shorter than me, and has to discreetly turn her face to the side so she’s not directly motorboating me, I can’t escape into the hug completely.
Posh Louise strides in purposefully followed by one of the other handlers, a man who looks like he could blow away in a strong breeze, who Lina tells me is called Liam. They gather the remaining women into the living room.
I take a seat on the couch next to Lina, who insists on holding my hand as though I’m going through some personal bereavement rather than having my roommate choose to leave our shared space. Perhaps she can sense the gay drama.
Whit perches next to me on the armrest. ‘You good?’
‘I will be.’ I try to look like the girl who is going to be okay meme that Jas sends me whenever I’ve had a vaguely trying day.
I try not to notice Carys and Bridget hanging back, choosing to stand behind another couch instead of sitting, for maximum distance.
In walks Karina Nguyen, looking even more modellish than usual.
Her long hair is curled in loose waves, as though it’s just something she did the other day, all casual like.
She’s poured into a figure-hugging gold dress that’s utterly incongruent with the assortment of pyjamas and loungewear the rest of us are wearing, but that’s the show, I guess.
This time she’s followed by her husband, Lucas, dressed in a slim, tailored, brown suit that beautifully complements his dark brown skin tone. He’s incredibly handsome, and I notice several of the girls go gooey as he approaches. I wonder how Karina feels about seeing that: proud or jealous?
Together they look fresh from the red carpet.
‘Hello, ladies,’ calls Karina in a sing-song voice.
‘Hello, Karina,’ we chorus back, with a few people awkwardly adding ‘and Lucas’ at the end.
‘It’s so nice to see you all again,’ he says.
‘I’ve been spending time with the men you’ve been dating and I can see just how lucky some of them are.
’ It appears that Lucas is the kind of man who can gently call a whole room of women absolutely smoking, in front of his wife, without coming across as a total lech.
‘As you’re aware, the show airs a few days behind what’s going on in here, and so last night the first episode aired,’ Karina explains.
This sends a shiver down my spine. I didn’t realise they’d tell us this – the last thing we need is to think about the public reactions. God, I hope my mum hasn’t been screaming obscenities at my behaviour at the telly. She hasn’t even seen the worst of it yet. I hope no one will.
Lucas smiles as Karina looks to him to continue, and I wonder how much they rehearse these bits in private. ‘As part of that, we decided this year to involve the public a bit more in the decision-making process.’
My stomach drops. This is new. What do they mean they’ve involved the public?
Clearly, the other girls are as horrified about this as I am because you could slice the tension with a knife and serve it up on a pretty plate.
But none of us say a word, because you’re not supposed to.
Not when the hosts are talking. All we can do is non-verbally react, and boy, are they getting their meme’s-worth from some of our faces captured by roving cameras.
‘What that means,’ Karina continues, her voice steady and calming, ‘is that we’ll be polling the audience on who they think are the most compatible couples, and in turn that’ll be an opportunity for you guys to win dates, or extra things for your wedding package.’
Okay, that’s not so bad. I can work with that.
‘And if we end up with a lot of engaged couples, it might just help us decide which storylines to follow to the honeymoon stage.’
I relaxed too soon.
Normally, every couple you see on the US series goes on honeymoon, bar perhaps one or two who break up immediately.
I know from the post-show podcasts that if a couple is dropped for mysterious reasons (let’s be real, often the contestants of colour), it might be because production don’t like a couple’s storyline.
I felt confident playing the game when I just had production to tangle with, because I did the research. I studied hard, I read every single testimony from contestants, all the behind-the-scenes interviews, every leak on Reddit, for fuck’s sake.
And now, to find out that it might be just down to the public is… Well. It’s a variable I hadn’t considered.
Lucas takes a thick piece of card out of his inside jacket pocket. ‘In fact, we’ve got some preliminary comments you might be interested in.’
Everyone gasps, and not just because we’re trying to make good television. Whit’s fingernails bite into my shoulder.
‘We asked the public which couples they thought were the most genuine out of all the current pairings active in the first episode they’ve seen, which includes the early days of the experiment,’ Karina explains.
‘As you might remember, Wedded Bliss’s core themes are Communication, Cooperation and Compatibility, so we wanted the viewers to consider all aspects of that,’ Lucas adds.
Yeah, fucking right. This is a popularity contest. Public votes always are. And the white couples tend to be the ones who come out on top.
Karina gives us all a beauty queen smile. ‘We thought you’d like to know the top four pairs, as voted by the viewers.’
‘In ascending order.’ Lucas clears his throat dramatically, before shooting a smile right at what I assume is the camera production told him to just look down. ‘At number four, we have Lina and Zack.’
There’s a smattering of applause and Lina blushes bright red.
All nice to be chosen, but Zack? I didn’t even know she was dating him, let alone why the public like him.
I’m pretty sure the only thing I wrote down in my notebook was how many times he brought up being a nice guy and how nice guys are often misunderstood.
Boke central. Now we’re roommates I probably have a moral duty to talk to her about that. As long as I don’t kiss her too.
‘Our third most compatible pairing is…’ teases Karina, ‘Dolly and Warren.’
Now this is a surprise. I let the relief and excitement I genuinely feel flood my face.
Hopefully this means we’ve got a good edit.
I wonder if that means the general public have seen Warren and me talk about our family yet.
The world isn’t kind to disabled people, but the people who look after them?
Oh yeah, we get all the cookies and everyone thinks we’re saints.
It frustrates the hell out of me usually, but here the cookies mean something.
Saintliness could turn into cold hard cash.
I wonder how my mum feels about that. Probably as bad as she felt when I told her I was coming here.
I wonder who has beaten us through. I hate myself for looking, but I glance over at Carys who is standing too-still, almost robotic. She does that sometimes, when she’s around everyone at once. Clams up tight like she’s hiding herself away.
I’d feel sad about it if she wasn’t planning to fuck me over.
‘The public think our second most compatible couple are Patrick and Carys!’ announces Lucas.
She looks so genuinely happy that I almost wonder if I completely imagined last night. Or this morning. I don’t think she’s a faker on my level, so maybe she really does like him.
Everyone applauds and I try to forget how the blush she wears matches the one she wore in bed after I made her come.
Jesus, how down bad am I that even when I’m pissed off at her I’m still thinking about it.
I think, deep inside, I don’t want to believe us having sex was just some experiment. One last-slash-first experience with a woman before she gets engaged to a man.
Why does that sting?
If she wants to commit herself to heterosexuality to get back at me, well, good luck, babe!
I’m so busy in my own thoughts that I miss the beginning of Karina announcing the winners, but I hear Whit’s name so clearly that I’m one of the first people on my feet hugging her. She looks so overwhelmed but so happy, jumping up and down in mine and Lina’s arms.
Lucas waits patiently for us all to stop screaming. ‘As winners of the compatibility vote, Whit and Malachi win an extra date this evening. Dinner for two outside the warehouse!’
God, they get to leave? This place is so all-consuming that I forgot I wasn’t born and raised here.
Whit punches the air. ‘Hell yes!’ I guess she’s not beating the all surgeons are jocks allegations.
‘That seems to have gone down well,’ laughs Karina. ‘Now, ladies, I hope you’re all ready for your big dates today. As I’m sure you’ll all remember, today is your first Touch Date.’
How could I forget? Yesterday I got to see Warren, today I get to, well, touch him, as much as is consensually on the cards.
The air is thick with excitement, and just a touch of horniness.
‘And possibly your last as you’ll be encouraged to narrow your matches down to just one this evening, and hopefully it’ll be mutual,’ adds Lucas, which is a major downer.
Even Karina rolls her eyes at him, before snapping back to her calm TV presenter energy.
‘Engagement is on the horizon,’ she continues, and it just kind of hits me that the date we get engaged on will be our fifth date. Mad that some people think they can fall in love in that little time.
‘Compatibility comes in many forms,’ Karina continues. ‘Can you trust in the connection you’ve built with your partner so far that you’ll find more of that together?’
I feel like eyes are on me, and I catch Carys watching me. Our eyes meet, and I feel a spark of that tension from last night. Before she reached up and clutched my face in hers. Before she kissed me. Before before before.
Her face morphs into a scoff, and she looks away. I wonder if she was remembering the same thing. I hate how much thinking that hurts, even if it was my choice to cut things off, if you could really call it a choice.
Bridget must see this because she gives me the stink eye too.
If Carys wants to paint me as some kind of villain, fine. And if she wants a fight, then let’s fucking go.
Unfortunately for her, I know both her and Patrick’s weaknesses.
She picked the wrong bitch to cross.