Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
I’m numb as I walk back down Aviles Street. Numb and confused and horrified. It’s all such a big jumble in my head that I can’t even sort out my feelings. A thick mist blankets the street, matching my mood and making this already eerie walk even more so.
He killed her. He killed them all.
How can those words even exist in my head? More importantly, how can they be tied to Chase, the man—being? Monster?—who I thought I knew.
Who I thought I loved.
I drag my fingers through my mist-damp hair, wanting other thoughts in my head. Not these horrors that are circling around and around, making me feel like the world’s slowed down to half-speed, and now I’m feeling every nanosecond of lingering misery.
I move at a steady pace, as if my speed is the only thing I have control over.
Hell, maybe it is. The stones under my shoes are slick with mist, the air warm and wet and wrong in my lungs.
Night presses close. I keep moving because stopping means thinking and thinking means I might have to finally let my heart in on what my head already knows.
All those Brides. All those names on all those trees.
All dead because of him.
Because of Chase.
A shiver runs up my spine.
Stop it. Just stop thinking.
I try, but my brain’s not playing by the rules. It’s still churning and churning, and I try to focus on the stupid things—my breath, my echoing footsteps, the way the street narrows and opens again between old walls and balconies.
A couple passes me, laughing. Apparently, they didn’t have their hearts ripped out tonight. Lucky them.
I glance back toward the corner I came from, expecting to see a glint of the park’s wrought-iron fence through the fog. But there’s only darkness, and I don’t look twice. I don’t want to. I just keep moving steadily forward toward campus and safety. Or, at least, the illusion of it.
By the time I reach campus, I feel like all my insides have been spooned out, and it’s everything I can do to staunch a fresh wave of tears as I hurry toward the smear of misty light that’s shrouding Hamilton Hall.
I hurry, faster and faster, until I finally press my keycard against the door.
I hear the familiar snick of the lock, then yank the door open and stumble inside, as if being in this building will make it all better.
But I don’t feel better at all.
I stab the button for the elevator with my forefinger, but when the doors don’t immediately open, I decide to screw it, then take the stairs two at a time, passing through the artificial scent of microwave popcorn and the tang of freshly delivered pizza.
By the time I reach the third floor, my stomach actually rumbles, and I almost cry at that because at least it’s normal. At least I can feel something other than the numbness that’s hiding a bone-deep pain.
When I reach my room, I use the keycard again, then push the door open slowly.
As much as I want to talk to Tia, I know I should wait.
Not only because she’s got an early class tomorrow, but because I need time to stop feeling numb.
And to figure out how I can tell her any of what went down without drowning us both in my tears.
“Oh!”
It takes me a second to recognize the voice—Riley—and the moment I do, Tia’s up off the bed, standing in shorts and tugging on a T-shirt over her bare breasts.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I say, turning around and hearing the scramble of clothes as—I assume—Riley jumps into some shorts.
When I turn back, she’s dressed and gesturing toward the door.
“I’m just gonna scoot. Should be studying anyway.
” She blows a kiss toward Tia, then flashes me a sympathetic look before sliding out the door.
Apparently, my misery shows on my face even despite the flush of embarrassment.
“I’m so, so, so sorry,” I say.
“It’s okay. Your note said you were going to Chase’s, and— Oh, fuck, Cora. What happened?”
And then, of course, I burst into hysterical tears, the kind that shakes your whole body and won’t let you breathe and pretty much rips out your soul.
I don’t even know how I got to my bed, much less how I ended up out of my jeans and into the sleep shorts and tank I’d left on my pillow. All I know is that when I finally start thinking again, I’m spooning with Tia, who’s whispering that everything’s going to be okay.
“It won’t,” I say, my mouth tasting like chalk.
“Hey. None of that.” She shifts so she can sit up, her eyes capturing mine. “I promise. Whatever it is, we’ll get you through it.”
She’s wrong, but I nod anyway, too numb to do anything else.
“Now tell me,” she says, her tone both gentle and firm. “Start anywhere. One word at a time or word-vomit all over me.”
But I can’t say it yet. Not the big thing. Not that. So I just say, “Nothing. Everything. God, I don’t even know.”
Tia studies me, then sighs. “Is this about Chase?”
My throat tightens, and I have to look away.
“Right,” she says softly. “So, let’s start there. You don’t have to spill details, but, well, did you two…?”
I don’t answer, and the silence is enough. My face burns.
“Okay. I’m guessing it wasn’t the shiny, happy time you’d been hoping for?”
I shake my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. “No,” I manage, forcing the word past the giant lump in my throat. “It was perfect.” I try to tell her more, but I can’t find the words, so I wipe away the tears and say, very simply, “Absolutely perfect.”
Except that’s what makes it all the more unbearable.
She frowns as she studies my face. “Cora?”
“No, really,” I say. “We talked and then we kissed and then…” I trail off, smiling at the memory that’s now so horribly tainted. “It was gentle and wild and hot and everything amazing all rolled together, and afterwards, I fell asleep in his arms.”
“That sounds wonderful,” she says, and I have to force myself not to apologize all over again. Because if I hadn’t shown up, surely she and Riley would be snuggled together right now. “What changed?”
“I woke up.” I look down at my hands, now twisted in the thin blanket. “He was gone, but I saw him outside. On the street.” I lick my lips. “And I followed him.”
I realize I’m shaking and have to close my eyes and hug myself. And when I open them again, I tell her everything. The park. The trees. My mother’s plaque.
And Chase’s confession about killing the Brides. About killing my mother.
“All of them?” she asks from behind the hand that’s flown to her mouth.
I nod, blinking furiously to stop yet another waterfall of tears.
“He did all of that. He killed them over and over and over. My ancestors, all of them.” I draw in a hard breath, then lift my chin and meet her eyes.
“He slept with me,” I whisper. “He slept with me knowing that he’d done all of that. ”
“But why? Why is he killing them off?”
I tell her the rest of it, trying to stay focused and unemotional. Just stating the facts. Just telling the tale. And ending with the last Bride left. Me.
“But he didn’t kill you.”
“I know,” I say, then start crying again. “He didn’t even say anything. When I finally looked up and around, he was just gone.”
“He loves you,” she says, which makes my stupid tears come even faster.
“That’s what’s so horrible,” I tell her. “I really believe that he does. I think I love him too. Or I did. But now? How can I love him after what he did?”
She shrugs, then bites her lip, looking down at her hands before raising her face to mine.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe you can’t.
But he made some really hard choices, you know?
” She takes a shuddering breath. “The truth is, I don’t really know how to process it.
But I’m one hundred percent here for you.
Shoulder, punching bag, whatever you need. ”
I sniffle as she pulls me into another tight hug. “Thanks,” I whisper. “Ever since I saw that tree, I feel like I’ve been walking on quicksand. Like something inside me broke, and I’m only half in the world, you know?”
Her thumb strokes my knuckles. “You’re not broken.
Mixed up, sure. I mean, sex isn’t ever simple.
But you add in some weird family history and a king who’s looking to marry you and a boyfriend who’s supposed to kill you to save the world, but hasn’t?
Well, that’s a lot of cosmic bullshit to be wrapped up in.
So, you know, I figure you’re winning at life if you’re even only seventy-five percent sane. ”
I laugh—like, really laugh, then wrap her in another tight hug.
“And that’s a lot of good mojo on his part too. I mean, he’s picking you over, well, potential Armageddon. I mean, I think you’re worth it…”
I shake my head. “I love you, you know.”
“And, again with the straight girl teasing.”
“Oh, please. You’d toss me aside for Riley in a heartbeat.”
Tia grins and sighs. “That’s why we’re friends. You know me so well.”
For a moment, neither of us says anything. Then she says, “You guys need to talk. You need to tell him how you feel. And that you’re not going to be marrying Adric, much less doing the horizontal mamba with him, right?”
“So many times right,” I say. Though maybe I hesitate. Just a little.
“Oh, hell,” she says, proving that she already knows me better than anyone.
“I am not going to sleep with Adric. And I’m definitely not marrying him.”
“But you’re hot for him?”
My cheeks burn. “I’m hot for both of them.”
She just shrugs and looks smug. “Nothing wrong with that,” she says. “Just so long as you’re not going to marry one and destroy the universe. You’re keeping that off your dance card, right?”
I actually laugh. “There’s a question I never expected to be asked.”
“And folks say college is the same as high school. Puh-lease.” She clears her throat. “Right…”
I give her my best sideways glare. “Right. No world-ending wedding-night sex on my agenda, ever.”
“Then all you need to do is decide if you can forgive Chase for what he did before. Can you? For that matter, do you want to?”
“I don’t know. How do I know?”
“If you’d never learned the truth, would you still want him?”
“Yes.” The word is out before I even have time to think about it.
She shrugs. “Then I guess that’s where you start.” She tilts her head. “If you don’t want him anymore—if you’re done with the guy—if you decide you can’t ever trust him again—do you think—”
She cuts herself off with a sharp shake of her head.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Do I think he’ll kill me, just in case I’m thinking about getting all marital with Adric?”
She says nothing, but I know that’s what she’s thinking. Why wouldn’t she be? I certainly am.
I let the possibility wash over me, then firmly shake my head. “No,” I say. “He won’t,” I say the words like a prayer, but as I hear them aloud, I realize they’re true. Chase truly loves me. He will protect me.
And he’ll do that even knowing that so long as I’m alive—so long as Adric still wants me—the barriers might fall. And the world as we know it would end.
I think of Adric. Of the wild, erotic pull when I’m with him, so unlike the sweet, warm passion and comfort I feel with Chase. Safe or wild? I don’t know which I’m more drawn to. All I know is that there’s death and danger down every path, not to mention prophecy and destiny and portents and magic.
And dreams. Wonderful dreams and terrifying nightmares.
And me right there in the middle of it, caught up in a new reality that both terrifies and fascinates. My destiny. And though I can’t yet see what it is, I’m certain now that I can’t escape it.
“Cora?”
“I’m okay,” I assure her. “I just need to let it all settle. You don’t have to babysit me. I mean, if you want to go see Riley…”
She waves a hand. “Tonight, we’re doing the roomie thing.” She glances at the clock. “And we should probably sleep. Want me to share your bed? If you have a nightmare, I could wake you up.”
I shake my head. “I’m good. I think tonight has reached full weirdness overload. I’ll probably just sleep.”
“Fair enough,” she says, and even though I’m sure she’s going to try to stay awake until morning, I don’t call her out on it. It’s nice to know she’ll always have my back.
“Oh!” she says. “Before I forget, where’s the park? I want to go check it out tomorrow.”
“Aviles and Merrin Lane,” I tell her, then sit up straighter when she frowns, shaking her head slowly. “What?”
“The four corners of that intersection have a dress shop, a convenience store, a tourist trap, and a playground. Swing sets, rocking horses, a giant sandbox. And about a zillion picnic tables. Plus the skatepark they put in on the other end a couple of years ago.”
“No, nothing like that,” I say.
“That’s what’s there,” she says. “The dress shop is new, but the rest’s been around for years and years. I used to stay at least one week every summer with my abuela here in St. A. We went every day when I was little. And Riley and I checked out the skate park just yesterday.”
“Maybe it was in the dreamscape? Except I’m sure I was awake.”
“What about—oh! A liminal space. Like the Neutral Zone in the Nightmare Realm, remember? A space you find when you’re looking for it.”
“But I wasn’t looking for it.”
“No,” she says. “You were looking for Chase.”
I grimace. “And I found him.”
“And he didn’t kill you,” she says, taking my hands in hers. “He loves you. And this is going to get very, very complicated.”
“Understatement of the year.”
“Of the century,” she counters.
I laugh, then jump when my cell phone rings. Our eyes meet, then I snatch it up, expecting the call to be from Chase, and feeling a knot of disappointment when I see the Caller ID.
“Uncle Finn? It’s so late. What’s up?”
“Shenanigans, my dear little Bride. We’re going to have a lovely time, your uncle and I.”
I go completely stiff, terror crawling up my spine.
Kali.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Don’t worry.” Her voice is sickly sweet. “His majesty won’t execute him right away. He’s useful, after all.”
Then the line goes dead, and the only sound in the room is from the painful throbbing of my heart.