27. Everly
“Who paying for you now?”
That question cut so deep that I’d had to fight real hard not to punch him…
…or to cry. The last few weeks, I’d thought about the way he’d reacted to Marlon and Naaman and the whirlwind of outings and nights spent together, wondering exactly what Real was feeling. Between his response to LaChelle and the call from a woman who was obviously sure she had claims on his attention, what I had let myself believe didn’t seem correct. I was feeling way too much for a man who allowed himself other options. My damn rules had failed me. It was time to go. I wasted no time dialing Emory who quickly handed off to Prime.
“I’m going to leave. Like… in the morning,” I announced.
“Slow down, Ev. You said you had a few last things to handle. Hotel Saturday and Sunday. Jet out Monday. It’s Friday night. What’s wrong, lady?” he asked gently.
I was as protective of Emory as she was of me. I’d made Prime’s life hell with my interrogations and distrust. We’d argued more than a little and still snarked at each other sometimes. So, his tone being soft almost did me in. I swallowed, did a four-count inhale and a six-count exhale before I trusted myself to speak.
“I just need to go,” I finally whispered. “The house should probably be wiped tonight.”
He paused for a long moment. Then… “Let me work it out. It’ll be a go tomorrow.”
I had planned to spend tonight having a fun goodbye-for-now dinner with Taleah and Kelsey. Instead, it was mostly quiet as I came clean because I knew I might need their help, and I had come to value their friendship. Instead of spending the night at a hotel, I was put up in one of their empty condos. Early the next morning, Prime had a driver meet me there. It took some convincing, but I got him to let go of the idea of a flight. I knew a long ride would help clear my head.
I knew Emory was in his ear when he barely even grumbled as I decided to make yet another unplanned move and call my friend Phoenix as we neared the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Phee was a stylist whose hands were touched by the Lord himself. She agreed to see me on short notice. She took one look at me when I stepped in her shop, and knew something wasn’t right.
“What he do, whoever he is, babe?” she asked.
Over a wash, deep condition, and silk press, I let her in on some of it. She was quiet for a minute after I stopped babbling.
“You know I’ma always tell you what I think,” she finally said.
I laughed. “Yeah. I know.”
“Sounds like a lot of miscommunications and both of y’all trying to protect your feelings. I’ve had some ain’t shit niggas, so I’m definitely not trying to see you in a bad situation. But next go round, I want you to scrap those rules and lead with your heart.”
“I did that before,” I scoffed.
“And now you won’t do it and you still hurt. So, what you got to lose?”
The rest of my appointment was mostly quiet as I thought about what she was saying. Phee made perfect sense, but I didn’t feel like being logical. A little while later, I paid her despite her protests, and dragged back to the SUV. Suddenly, all I wanted was to get to my Granny Nette and PawPaw. My parents were off exploring African cities, but my grandparents would love on me just as hard and reassure me just as much. The driver, Adrien, had already grabbed food while I was getting my hair laid, so I didn’t feel bad about requesting a drive-thru meal.
At 5:24 PM, I was on my grandparents’ couch, greedily soaking in my granny’s love and greatness. My face pressed against her vanilla-scented house dress as she held me and rocked me. She didn’t ask what was wrong. It didn’t matter. She just knew I needed her and that was enough. She hummed above my head, stroking my straightened hair. I could feel other members of my family behind me, wanting to greet me or check on me. But they knew better in the moment. Granny-time was sacred. And it was very much needed to soothe my embattled heart right now. A long while later, when I was calmer, Granny pulled back just enough to tilt my chin and press a kiss on my forehead.
"My sweet Love, who did you go and give your heart to?" she whispered.
I felt my eyes widen as I shook my head. That wasn't true. I may have caught a few feelings, but my heart was still mine, like it was going to stay. I would never do something as ridiculous as--
Would I?
I shook my head again.
"I didn't, Granny! It's not like that. I'm just?—”
"Shh, baby. Granny was overstepping, anyway."
Her voice was soothing as she held me tightly again. I couldn't really explain to her--as much as I shared, I wasn't ready to talk to my grandmother about my having a fuck buddy.
All there had ever been between Montréal Hamilton and me was sex. That was all there would ever be. I just needed to block out the times it had seemed there may be more.