51. Theory
My extended family had started to arrive for the family reunion. It was a hot Thursday afternoon, and they were gathering at the big ass in-ground pool behind my grandparents’ place. I looked on as my sister slid into the water, her face animated while she talked to Jagger. He sat on the side of the pool near her, listening quietly. She still wore his ring, confusing the hell out of me, but we’d talk soon. I was jealous of Pip in that moment. Not about Jag—she deserved every bit of the happiness he probably had in store for her. No, what got me was her confidence in her cute little turquoise bathing suit and her ability to enjoy swimming around other people. Both of those were lost to me. I wore a black bathing suit so no one would ask questions, but my tightly crocheted cover up was more like a dress, covering… hiding my body.
“You could just go out there,” Targen said softly.
I wasn’t even aware he had joined me in the solarium where I stood, staring out the glass at my big, laughing family. I prayed my presence here wasn’t putting these people I loved in danger.
“Just like you could just give me my phone back,” I snapped, still salty about his heavy-handedness.
“Girl, that phone is gone. Your new one is almost ready.”
His voice got closer as he spoke and then he was directly behind me as I stared out the glass. I felt him but I refused to acknowledge him, even as his delicious scent had me wanting to draw in a greedy lungful of air. He braced an arm against the glass above my head and moved until he was pressing into my back. His other arm went around my waist. When I tried to squirm away, it locked me down as efficiently as any restraint. But his touch didn’t feel like being held against my will. Pressed into him, I felt safe, secure.
“Targen, no. You can’t just hug away the danger. The person on the phone will hurt people! I’ve seen it!”
Hell, I’d felt it. Some people had the power to do what they wanted with no repercussions. Targen didn’t care about that, didn’t understand that if he went after that evil, my family would pay. I would pay… again.
“No one is gon’ hurt you or your family. I swear that on my life.”
His vow brushed my ear just before his lips did. Sunlight streamed through the expanse of glass encasing the solarium and still I shivered, goosebumps dotting my skin at his intimate touch.
“Prime is back. You wanna tell me who Marguerite Armstrong is before he does?”
He asked the question calmly, like it was an afterthought and not a possible pathway to a hell I was still struggling to escape. I froze and it wasn’t because he placed an open-mouthed kiss on the side of my neck.
“You need to leave that alone,” I snapped suddenly. “You actually need to leave me alone and go?—”
I wasn’t prepared for how fast he had me spun around and caged against the glass, his face as neutral as ever. But one hand gently gripped my neck and again, his words …
“Shorty, the second I saw you curled up in that chair looking at your family like you’re doing now, I knew I was keeping you. Don’t tell me to leave you alone again. You’re my one, milaya , and I’m never letting you go. Now, you can tell me why you’re always watching your people instead of doing whatever they do, or you can tell me about Ms. Marguerite. Your choice.”
He shrugged nonchalantly and it pissed me off more. How dare he not listen?—
He moved in suddenly and covered my lips with his. Given how he’d handled me the last few days, I expected his kiss to be soft. Instead, I suddenly felt like I knew what it was like to be at the center of an inferno. His lips spread fire through my body as they boldly claimed mine, nipping and sucking, demanding entry that I melted and gave. His grip on my neck tightened as he sucked my tongue against his, mint and some other indescribable flavor that was all him making me shift to be nearer to him, hungry for what he was doing to me. I moaned into his mouth, and he kissed me deeper, turning my blood into liquid flames, burning me inside out.
“ Theory and her boyfriend,
Sittin’ in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Theory and her boyfriend… ”
It took me a minute to hear the childish chanting. And still, my mind was so gone that it probably wasn’t until I heard Granny fussing and Hyacinth yelling, “Get y’all lil bad asses outta there!” that I realized some of my little cousins had stumbled onto me and Targen. Hell, I’d forgotten where I was. Mortified, I buried my face against his shirt as he laughed and held me close.
“Nah, don’t be shy now, mama,” a masculine voice piped up.
I peeped around Targen to see a grinning Juvie. Oh, my God! It seemed like everybody had come in the damn house.
“Wasn’t no shame when you was letting Targen clean them tonsils. Theory and her boyfriend, sittin’ in a ? — ”
He started doing the most ridiculous dance, sending my face right back against Targen, albeit with a smile.
“Julien! Ain’t you supposed to be in here to grab some cakes for the picnic table?” Granny called from the kitchen, interrupting his chant.
His momentary silence that followed shocked me. Granny’s voice could get even his silly ass in line? I had to peek. Juvie was standing straight and stiff as a soldier, his body turned in her direction. My smile widened.
“Better answer her before she tag yo’ ass,” Targen taunted in a whisper.
“Yes, ma’am,” Juvie responded hurriedly.
“Why you not grabbing?”
“Here I come, Granny!”
He disappeared through the door that led into the kitchen.
“You shouldn’t have kissed me,” I hissed at Targen, mushing his shoulder, once I was sure the coast was clear.
“You liked it. You know me by now, though. It doesn’t matter what you said the day we picked peaches. If you don’t want me to touch or kiss you, tell me, and I won’t.”
He was suddenly serious. Even in my anger, I couldn’t tell that lie. The feel of his hands and lips was too addictive. He waited a minute before giving me a knowing smile.
“Exactly. It was gon’ be hard for me to stop anyway. You taste so good, milaya . I’m so ready to taste that pussy,” he murmured before he pressed his lips against mine again.
I guess my little hot box sprouted ears because Targen’s words made her clench then gush, even though…
“That won’t ever happen,” I said sadly.
Again, he just smiled. “You think that?”
“I know that.”
Hell, I didn’t even sound convincing to myself. I tried to move but he wouldn’t let me. His hands crept around my body and settled on my ass. Targen was touching me in more and more intimate ways, and I was liking it too much. When he squeezed, I had to bite back a moan.
“Why you fooling yourself? When you accept the fact that we locked in for life, I’ma wake you up with my face between your thighs every morning and put you to sleep with this dick every night. I already know that I’ma never get enough of you, Theory.”
His voice was deep and raspy, and I felt every syllable he spoke in my core. I was a hot, horny mess and his words, along with his strong hands kneading my ass, were almost enough to make me cum.
“Stop talking like that,” I pleaded. “And I need you to promise to leave anything having to do with Marguerite alone.”
I was desperate to return the conversation to our original discussion. He had to understand?—
“No. Anything dealing with Marguerite needs to leave you alone. I’m gon’ get that message across,” he insisted, rubbing a thumb across my bottom lip.
“Starting with them… Targen don’t. You have no idea how powerful they are.”
“And you have no idea how powerful I am . I keep telling you that you gon’ learn, though. I’ma give you that soft life, Theory. You no longer do the fighting and carrying and the worrying. That’s on me now.”
All week, he’d been breaking down every single barrier I had up. As if his words weren’t enough, he kissed me again, this time with the gentle pressure I expected. I couldn’t take this man and what he’d done to my heart in so little time.
“Why don’t you go swim with your sister?”
I shook my head, before dropping it. I felt tears well in my eyes, and I bit my lip, trying to hold them back.
“Why not?” he asked softly.
But how could I tell him? Targen, I like that you think I’m beautiful. I like the desire in your eyes, and I don’t want to see it turn to disgust . And it would. If he saw me, all of me, I knew it would. I blinked and felt twin rivers roll down my cheeks. Sighing, he hugged me.
“You gon’ make me work for every one of these secrets you have, huh, milaya ?” he murmured.
I didn’t reply, just enjoyed how safe and cared for I felt in his arms. The sense of security was so intoxicating that Hyacinth and Calanthe had to practically drag me out of the solarium and to one of the chairs beside the pool a few minutes later. Emory and Everly were already there, seated behind us and chatting with some of our cousins. I watched Targen as Prime introduced him and his friends to some of the guys in my family. I only took my eyes off him when one of my favorite younger cousins, Avian , came over and hugged me.
“Hey, baby, it’s good to see you,” I crooned. “Congratulations, again, on your graduation. How you doing?”
“Thank you. And thanks again for ya gift. Shit, you know I’m always good, especially when I get to see y’all. But listen…”
I watched as he pulled the beautiful girl whose hand he was holding forward.
“I already introduced her to everyone else, but this my girl, Simara . Sim, this my dope ass cousin, Theory.”
She offered me a sweet, genuine smile and I returned it. We talked for a couple of minutes about Avian’s career plans and Sim ’s major before they wandered off toward the picnic tables set up under a shed on the grounds a short distance from the pool area.
“The caterers got everything set up?” I asked Everly.
She nodded. “It looks delicious, too. I?—"
“Everly Miller, I heard we need to thank you for the new eye candy around here. You supposed to be out there nursing, but you out there playing doctor, huh?” our cousin Liana teased, sparking an outbreak of laughter.
“Definitely eye candy,” Calanthe murmured on a sigh.
“As long as you just looking. Juvie is trouble, Lanthe. Don’t let all that smiling and joking fool you. I can see the danger in that boy,” Hyacinth warned.
Emory sucked her teeth as she tossed a piece of ice from her oversized cup at Hyacinth.
“Hy, she’s a teenager. You just made him sound even better to her.”
“He’s also a little too old. She gon’ have Daddy tryna lay that boy out,” Hyacinth persisted.
“Let her crush on the young one. He ain’t the one who looks dangerous. The one with the scars… I wanna say, ‘Come here, baby. Let me sit this pussy on your face and see if it has healing properties,’” someone behind me murmured.
I pretended not to hear, even as I felt stiff and my blood heated. Why was she looking at him like that and why was —
“He kinda cute, but it could be scary waking up to that,” another voice remarked.
Okay, that one really pissed me off. My fingers dug into the material of the chair as I tried to bite my tongue.
“Yeah, it’s too bad somebody literally played in his face like that. He’d be fine as hell —"
“He’s fine like he is. Just shut the hell up.”
The words were up and out before I could stop them. The heat of a blush burned my already warm skin. I knew I had just opened myself up to questions and speculation. My cousins were all quiet for a minute, then Liana’s silly ass broke the tension.
“Theory, let me find out you out here living dangerously. Got you a modern-day pirate, huh, cousin? I know that’s right. He could shiver me timbers and I’d sail the hell out of his ship! What they be saying? ‘Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum?’ I’d have that nigga singing, “Yo’, freak ho, let me stick it in your bum,” she exclaimed.
“Liana, you just sick,” Calanthe said, nose and top lip turned up in disgust.
“Cousin Cynt, Lanthe done snuck off from the kiddie table!” Liana hollered, dodging as Calanthe playfully tried to mush her.
“Lanthe, get away from Liana’s nasty self,” Aunt Cynt yelled. “Liana, my bae Hyland said save all the tips til I get over there, especially any using my?—”
“Cynthia!” PawPaw and Hyland roared simultaneously.
“What? I was gon’ say my hands. Y’all know I like to cook.”
Aunt Cynt sounded so innocent, but one look at her face showed that was a lie. My cousins shrieked with laughter, dissolving the tension. Smiling, I shook my head, glad the moment was over. I knew I’d be the subject of all the group messages tonight, but I didn’t care. No one was going to speak on my— on Targen , like that, I corrected myself mentally. I looked for him again and he was staring right back at me. He raised an eyebrow, and I gave him a small smile. He wasn’t the only one feeling possessive today.
Emory’s sudden scream ended my reverie as members of my family moved toward her. This pregnancy and this baby were special to all of us after what she’d been through. She waved us off and pointed toward the solarium. I shrieked a little myself and then took off running once I saw my parents and my aunt and uncle. They’d been off touring the African continent, and I’d missed them so damn much. My daddy opened his arms and caught me, then squeezed me so tight, I could barely breathe. I loved every minute of it. Pip’s annoying ass wormed her way into our hug, and Daddy chuckled as he kissed our foreheads.
“Well, I’ll be damned. I guess I was just an incubator for y’all’s spoiled asses,” my mama fussed.
Wiping my eyes, I laughed as I moved to embrace her. She held me against her, her familiar warmth and cocoa butter scent soothing me and seeping all the way to my bones. I smiled and cried at the same time, not letting her go until I felt the light pressure of a hand on my lower back. I turned to find Targen there, concern all over his face.
“You good?” he asked quietly.
I nodded just as my daddy asked, “Who the hell are you?”
Targen’s lips curved into a half smile. “I’m Targen Jones, Theory’s future husband.”
My eyes widened at his boldness, before I palmed my forehead. My parents were about to interrogate the hell out of me. Epiphany giggled beside me.
“I know that’s right,” she crowed.
This heffa! I thought. I wasn’t going down alone. I smirked at her.
“You think that’s funny, tell Mama and Daddy how you got engaged last weekend. Y’all peep that rock Jag put on her finger?”
“En- engaged?” Daddy sputtered.
“Jagger?” Mama gasped.
“ Theory Grace ,” Pip hissed.
What a reunion!
Hours later, after being grilled by my parents, chilling with my family, and enjoying myself, even though I didn’t get in the pool, I decided to try my luck with Targen again. He’d left the picnic before I did, and I could hear him moving around his room. I knocked and waited for him to respond.
“Yeah, what is it?” he asked gruffly.
Taking a chance, I opened the door and stepped in. He spared me a brief glance before his eyes went back to his phone. One hand rested on top of his head as he frowned. I swallowed, sensing this wasn’t a time to push him, but doing it anyway.
“Targen, I don’t want to keep bringing this up—” I started.
His eyes blazed at me. “Then, don’t Theory. Not right now.”
I recoiled, my feelings hurt, even though I brought it on myself. He was clearly not in the mood for my shit.
“I-I understand you’re busy, but don’t ever talk to me like that,” I told him before turning to walk out.
“Something’s wrong. Back home. Something’s wrong with my cousins. I told you they’re like my sisters. I didn’t mean to snap at you, malyshka ,” he said quietly.
I whirled on him, but decided I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that that last word was an endearment in the Russian his parents had taught him. If I found out it was some trick’s name, though…
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to stay focused.
His eyes were glued to his phone as his fingers worked quickly across the screen. I heard the sound of ringing as he placed a call.
“I don’t know. I’m getting messages that one of them is hurt and one has been on a rampage. I’ma have to go to Kansas City to handle this. Monica better?—”
He stopped and I heard a woman’s voice say, “Hey.”
I moved closer, unapologetically curious about the person on the other end of the line. She was beautiful, even with the frown marring her face.
“Tell me,” Targen ordered.
The woman sighed. “Nicole was killed by her husband.”
“When?”
“Day before yesterday.”
They both sounded so… nonchalant. If this was Monica , I knew from our talks that Nicole was her sister. I knew Targen didn’t feel close to Nicole, but the level of unconcern was crazy. He stared at the woman for a moment.
“What aren’t you telling me?” he finally asked.
“ Sasha was attacked. She’s in the hospital.”
“Let me see her.”
Monica switched the camera’s view away from her face. I stepped nearer to him and then gasped, moving my hand to cover my mouth as my eyes filled. Even with all the tubes and wires, I could see that the woman in the bed was ashen and badly bruised. Someone had hurt her seriously and that was just from what was visible. Targen’s mouth tightened, and he was silent for a long moment before telling her, “I’m on my way.”
I watched as he walked into the closet and returned with a suitcase and some clothes. I went to the dresser, sliding open a drawer to help him.
“I got it, Targen,” Monica said quietly.
Targen paused and watched the screen.
“This shit is on me,” she continued. “It was Fresh’s people.”
His face transformed then, the calm mask gone as a rage-fueled look replaced it.
“I told you about that nigga years ago. You were just too stuck in love to see,” he growled.
“Well, I’m not now,” she shot back.
He glared at her. “You have forty-eight hours. Kill him or I will.”
His voice was colder than I’d ever heard it. I watched as he disconnected the call and threw the phone on the bed. Kill him? I could pretend to be shocked, but I’d known since the moment I laid eyes on him what he was capable of. To hear it voiced so calmly, though…
“Targen—”
I wanted to comfort him, but for the hundredth time today, I was unable to stop the tears that seeped from my eyes. These tears were outraged, angry for the woman who lay shattered in that bed. Wordlessly, Targen pulled me into his arms.
“What’s wrong, milaya ?” he asked.
My fingers curled into his biceps. I needed him, needed to hold onto him to keep myself from sliding away into an unbearably dark place.
“Who would hurt her like that? Why?” I demanded, hearing the brokenness in my own voice.
“There is no answer to ‘why,’ baby, because the shit is senseless. And the ‘who’ will be handled, if not by Monica , then by me. “
I knew his words were meant to make me feel better, to ease my tension and my tears. But my mind was spinning out of control, Sasha ’s circumstances taking me back to?—
“Targen… it’s bad. It’s so bad when someone hurts you like that. Breaks you like that. Leaves you for dead like you’re nothing,” I murmured more to myself than him, as I slipped into the hell of memory.
“No one will hurt her again like that,” he said tightly. Then, his voice softened. “No one will hurt you again like that.”
He knew. Not the details, but he knew. Despite his words meant to reassure me, a familiar flood of shame and guilt washed through me. I pulled away from him, but he held me tight.
“Let go.”
He shook his head. “No. Never.”
I swiped an impatient hand over my face, wiping away tears and drawing myself up to challenge him.
“Targen, please. I need a moment. I just?—"
My voice trailed off, the hurt of remembering clogging my throat in a tense, painful ball. He stared at me for a long moment.
“I want to go to my room and lie down. Now, let go,” I insisted.
He hugged me so close I thought I might suffocate, and it still wasn’t close enough. Then, he relented and let me go. I met his eyes and almost changed my mind. I needed a minute alone to get myself together. I wanted to stay right here with him.
“I’ll see you later,” I choked out finally.
Then, I did what I had become so good at doing.
I ran.