Chapter Thirty Nine
Sleep had never truly arrived. It had threatened me with its presence but never shown up, not close enough to do anything.
I turned over into Sophie. The skin of her back was warm against my chest, the bulge of her arse fitting into the curve between my stomach and my legs.
I slid my arm around her waist, my fingers smoothing a path across her abdomen.
Tight warm skin. The movement disturbed her scent.
Berries settling against sharp vanilla and flowers.
I closed my eyes, searching for the darkness behind them. Looking for emptiness. Instead, I saw his face again. Lying on the cold tarmac. Pale. Grey. Had I always known then he wouldn’t make it? I’d seen death more times than I could count. Had my brain recognised the signs that day on the road?
Turning away, I shuffled onto my back again, staring up at the ceiling, at the coving that was coming away in one corner that I still hadn’t fixed and the tiny spots of black mould that crept in between the wall and the ceiling over the window from the leak I still hadn’t repaired yet.
Later. When my mind had settled and tomorrow was over.
Tomorrow we would actually celebrate Magnet’s life.
I’d promised Suzy I would use that phrase.
Not mourn his death. Not say goodbye. Tomorrow there would be no empty coffins.
Just the club and a crematorium. We’d ride as we always did, only this time the funeral would be quieter.
Tighter. The weight descended heavily into my stomach again.
“Ry,” Sophie whispered beside me. “You ok?”
A crack ran through the plaster in the ceiling. I hadn’t noticed it before. “I need to ride.”
“Mmmm-k.” Sophie turned onto her side, shuffling her legs out of bed and reaching for her jeans.
“What are you doing?”
“Coming with you.”
The Rocket growled awake beneath me five minutes later, the vibration feeding up through my palms and into my arms as Sophie climbed on behind me. Her hands slid around my waist, helmet pressing briefly between my shoulder blades as we rolled out into the sleeping street.
The city looked different at this time of night. Softer. Empty roads shining silver beneath streetlights. Shop fronts dark. Tower blocks standing silent against the sky. No traffic. No noise. Just us, the bike, and the drone in my head.
I opened the throttle slightly. The Rocket responded instantly.
But it wasn’t speed I was looking for. Not really.
It wasn’t danger either. It was silence.
Not around you. Inside you. The second the bike moved properly my brain stopped clawing at itself.
Thoughts that had been tearing chunks out of me half an hour ago suddenly scattered beneath the concentration it took to ride.
Every bend. Every change in the road surface.
Every flicker of movement in the mirrors.
Every shift in weight from Sophie behind me.
Riding demanded everything. And because of that, it gave something back. Peace. Or the closest thing men like me ever got to it.
The Rocket surged harder beneath us as we joined the A1, cold air tearing through my jacket and rushing under my helmet. Sophie tightened her arms around me, and I reached back, gloved fingers squeezing her thigh once. Still here. Still breathing.
The city peeled away behind us until the roads widened and darkness opened around the bike. The engine noise deepened now, settling into something smoother, the rage inside my chest bleeding off into the machine beneath me. I breathed properly for the first time all day.
Above us, the sky had started changing colour.
Black softening at the edges into bruised blue and silver.
Dawn threatening somewhere beyond the horizon.
I slowed, doubling back, the engine relaxing as my hand did on the throttle.
Then she appeared, rising slowly from the darkness beside the motorway, steel wings stretched wide over the North East like she was waiting for us. Massive. Silent. Watching.
The growl of the Rocket calmed as we pulled into the deserted car park, tucking the bike into a parking bay and killing the engine altogether.
For a minute we both sat there, our chests rising and falling in the same rhythm, my heartbeat slowing in time with the tick of the engine as it cooled.
The noise in my head was just a mutter now. Fractured thoughts and low rumblings.
I guided Sophie off the back of the bike, my fingers entangling with hers as we walked on through the night, feet crunching softly over gravel as we climbed up the hill.
The Angel of the North stood guard above us as I pulled Sophie into my arms, her back pressing against my chest. Below, cars purred along the A1, white and red lights engulfed quickly in the fading darkness.
Sophie’s hair tickled my beard, a curl misbehaving and straying from the rest. She still smelt the same as when I’d turned over in bed not an hour before.
Strawberries, vanilla, and now the sweetness of fuel.
She was perfect. My fingers trailed under her hoodie, and she winced away from the icy tips, pushing her arse into my groin.
I dipped my head, nuzzling the hair away from her neck, my lips dragging a line under her jaw, a solitary shiver tearing through her body so hard even I felt it.
I trailed my fingers lower, swiping under the waistband of her jeans, popping the button when I came to it, sucking on her jaw and then swiping my fingers over her.
She was naked under the denim, her pussy already slick as her arousal stuck to my fingers.
The bike had done something different for her than it did for me.
Moving over the top of her, I paused at the entrance to her pussy, the heat radiating from her raging hot across my icy fingers.
Her breath hitched, and I pushed against her, feeling her shuffle her legs wider to let me in.
I slipped two into her slowly, listening as she moaned, her breath billowing out in front of us in a white cloud, her hips pushing forward to meet me.
I moved gently at first, feeling my way, till her body tightened around my hand.
Then, changing the angle, I crooked my fingers, pushing pressure into her.
“Ry,” she whispered into the dawn. “God, not here.”
“There’s no one here but us, Grey.”
“But you know I’ll….”
“Squirt. Yes. And that’s what I want, darlin’.”
I spun us round quickly, pushing her face forward onto the giant feet of the monument, pressing her against it and knocking her legs wider.
“Ah, Ryan,” she called out as I moved faster against her pushing pressure up inside her, my fingers hitting the top of her pussy over and over until her thighs shook round my hand and my cock raged heavy in my pants.
“Fuck,” she swore again, her voice almost strangled in the thin night air.
Her pussy clenched around my fingers, wetness spilling out from inside her and running down over my hand.
“Fucking beautiful, Grey,” my voice rasped into the night as her whole body shook around my fingers.
I pulled them out slowly, pushing her jeans down her legs.
“Ryan, someone might see.”
“They’ll not Soph. There’s never anyone here at this time of day. It’s just you, me and her.”
I waited a moment, my hands swiping up under her top, nipping the ends of her hardened nipples, and she pushed her chest into me, another moan escaping into the night, loud and animalistic.
Then I nudged at the denim still covering her legs, and she wriggled them free, shivering as the air hit her bare skin.
“Good girl,” I whispered in her ear, bending her forwards, swiping her legs further apart, opening her wider, ready to take me.
She gasped as the head of my cock pushed inside her, her body tensing as the first barbell pulled through her flesh, her pussy squeezing tight against my cock, and my groans mixed with hers.
“Fuck,” I whispered against her neck as I pressed further into her.
Sophie’s fingers gripped the rust-coloured steel beneath her, her cries coming out on a breath as I filled her with more and more metal.
Her flesh settled around me. Just for a moment while I stayed still.
And then I started to move, the tightness of her pussy sending ripples over my cock as I fucked her at the feet of the Angel of the North.