Chapter 5 X
X
“Saint View Tattoo will still be open, so it makes the most sense to do the nose ring first. Second,” I grinned at Violet, “sunrise bungee jumping.”
She peered over at me from the passenger seat of my van. “Haven’t you had enough falling off cliffs for one night?”
I screwed up my face. “Good point. Sunrise hot air ballooning then! Bungee optional!”
She reached out and squeezed my thigh. “Or, and this is just an idea, we go home, have hot showers, put on dry clothes, and go to bed.”
I blinked. “I can’t go to bed, Violet! I cheated death! Again! I can’t just waste my second chance sleeping!”
I didn’t mention that if I closed my eyes, even for a second longer than it took to blink, I knew I would be right back there, water filling my mouth and nose and ears and eyes, the crushing pressure of it caving in my chest as I gasped to breathe.
If I closed my eyes, or stopped for even a second, I knew I would start thinking about the way I’d clung to Whip, drowning us both because my body had never gotten the memo on how to keep itself afloat, no matter how many times I’d tried to learn.
I was scared if I closed my eyes, when I woke up, Violet might have realized all of that and would have left me alone.
I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. My head was a storm of them, and the only way they quieted was when I was constantly doing something.
But Violet was shivering in the passenger seat. I pointed all the heating vents in her direction, and she smiled at me gratefully, but I knew I needed to get her some new clothes.
Saint View Tattoo, despite the late hour, was still open as we cruised through town, just as I’d predicted it would be.
I had skulked around these streets in the dark enough times to know that at this time of night, the two things you could rely on were a hot, cheap meal at the Dead End Diner or a tattoo in Dax’s shop.
I’d spent many nights doing both. She’d be safe inside, with me, and Dax, and the other guys there, working on pieces. No creepy killers in vans were going to follow us into a brightly lit tattoo shop.
I would be the only creepy killer driving a van around Saint View, thank you very much.
I parked it beneath the neon-pink sign of the strip club and offered Violet a hand getting out. She took it, wrapping her fingers around mine.
They were ice-cold.
I was such a fucking asshole.
But I could fix it. I hurried her into the tattoo shop, and a couple of the guys glanced up from various pieces they were working on. The space was warm and cozy, and my gaze landed on the rack of hoodies and sweatpants embroidered with the store’s logo.
I pounced on them like they were precious treasures, and threw two sets of sweats on the counter.
Dax eyed me. “You know those are horrifically overpriced, right? Nobody buys them.”
I gawked at him. “Well, sir, that is their loss. Violet and I are going to be your walking, talking billboards. Just charge them to my card.”
His glance moved between the two of us, taking in our soaked clothes and the bedraggled state of Violet’s hair. “You two get caught out in that storm?”
That was putting it mildly.
“Something like that,” Violet told him.
Dax rang up our items and winced at the total. “That’s two hundred and fifty dollars.”
I handed over my card. “I just fell off a goddamn cliff, Dax. Charge me whatever you want. Hell, throw in a face tattoo while you’re at it.”
Violet widened her eyes at me in alarm.
I shrugged. “What? Levi has one!”
Dax frowned at me. “You don’t really strike me as a face tattoo sorta guy, X.”
“Because I’m too pretty?”
Dax snorted. “Because the last time I tattooed you, you howled like a wolf during a full moon. And your face is going to hurt a whole lot more than your chest or your biceps.”
I mulled that over. “You have a point.” I shot him a dirty look. “You said you were going to keep the girlish screams a secret, bro. Be cool.”
Dax mimed zippering his mouth closed, though it was really a little late for that. I didn’t want another tattoo anyway. Especially not one on my face. “Just one nose ring, please…” I turned to Violet. “Unless you want one too? My treat?”
She picked up the gray tracksuit I’d already bought for her. “I think the clothes are enough for tonight.”
I nodded. “Just the one nose ring then, please. I promise I won’t scream.”
He glanced at Violet. “Did he really fall off a cliff tonight?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
Dax’s eyes widened. “Shit.” He squinted at me. “I’m really not supposed to do tattoos or piercings when someone may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”
“I’m clean as a whistle. Want me to pee in your cup?”
Dax subtly moved his hand to cover his coffee mug. “I’m good. But if you hit your head, maybe you’d be better off at the hospital tonight?”
The mention of the hospital had every muscle in my body seizing.
I wasn’t going there. The first night I’d met Doc, he’d practically stared straight into my soul and known exactly what I was on the inside. Doctors were too perceptive. They could do too many tests. Someone would realize my brain didn’t work right, that I enjoyed things no sane person should.
And then they’d lock me up.
I didn’t care if I’d hit my head and was bleeding internally.
I’d rather die than go to a hospital.
Plus, my head was fine.
At least physically. The desires inside it, probably not so much, but hey, you win some, you lose some.
“Just the nose ring, please.”
Dax looked at Violet, and she nodded.
“He’s okay.”
I slung my arm around her neck and kissed her wet hair. “So are you.”
Dax pointed to a sign on the wall that indicated there was a bathroom at the back of the shop. “Go get changed out of those wet clothes first, and I’ll set up for it.”
Satisfied with that answer, I ushered Violet into the bathroom and followed her in, locking the door behind us.
I dumped my clothes on the closed toilet lid and set to work undressing her.
I cringed at the soggy wet clothes I peeled off her and the way her skin was so pale it was vaguely blue. “Shit, Violet. You’re freezing.”
She shook her head. “Not as cold as you are.” She rubbed her hands up and down my arms. “God, X. Your skin is like ice.”
It was? I hadn’t even noticed.
But the worried expression creasing her pretty face said she knew what she was talking about. I stripped her off quickly and got her into dry clothes, grinning at her wickedly. “Violet in sweats with no panties underneath. Why is that so hot?”
She laughed a little but did the same for me. My fingers trembled, and I shoved them into the warm, fleece-lined pockets of the hoodie with the Saint View Tattoo logo on the front before she could notice.
I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb, inside and out.
Which seemed like the best time ever to get a piercing. I doubted I’d even feel it.
Despite the fact Violet had no panties on, and that was a very tempting thing in itself, I dragged us both out of the bathroom before I could do anything about it.
One of Dax’s guys, who I knew I’d been introduced to but could not for the life of me remember his name, pointed to a black slip of plastic on the counter.
“Dax left a garbage bag there for your wet clothes. He’s waiting in room two for you. ”
“Thank ye, kind sir.” I saluted him and tossed the pile of soaking clothes inside it. Leaving it there at the desk for us to collect on our way out, I threaded my fingers through Violet’s and tugged her toward the door marked with a graffiti style number 2 on it. “Come in and hold my hand?”
“Of course.” She lowered her voice. “But, X, we need to talk about what happened on that cliff tonight.”
I nodded seriously. “We should also probably discuss the pile of mutilated bodies we found.”
She jerked to a stop. “What?”
“Oh. No one told you about that yet?”
“No! When would anyone have had time?”
I shrugged. “My free fall off the cliff took a few seconds. You, Whip, and Levi could have had a cup of tea and a catch-up.”
She sighed and nudged me toward the piercing room. “Go get your nose ring. Maybe the pain will focus you.”
“Can’t feel anything right now,” I countered. “So I doubt it.”
“What do you mean you can’t feel anything?”
I shrugged. “Might be the cold. Might be a psychopath thing. I don’t know. I feel…detached from my body.”
She bit her lip. “You need a hospital.”
I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. “I just need you.”
She sighed and laid her head against my chest. “Okay.”
I was grateful she wasn’t pushing it.
Dax lifted his gaze from the tray of sterilized tools as we walked in. “So, just confirming, you definitely want this nose ring?”
I flopped into the chair like a rag doll. “And maybe a sticker for bravery.”
Violet stayed standing until I tugged her closer and caught her hand in mine. She squeezed it gently, grounding me in a way that made my chest ache.
Dax snapped on gloves and picked up the clamp. “A nose ring it is, then. Left nostril, right, or septum bull-ring special?”
“Dealer’s choice. I trust your artistic vision.”
Dax shook his head. “That sort of decision is way above my pay grade. I’m not the one who has to see your face every day.”
We both looked at Violet.
She considered me for a second. “Right. It’s your better angle.”
My mouth dropped open in mock outrage. “I have no bad angles, Violet!”
Dax snorted and dabbed antiseptic along the side of my nose. “Okay, hold still. One deep breath.”
I sucked in air, puffed out my chest. “Hit me with your best shot.”
Dax counted off. “One, two—”
“AAAAGHHHHH!” I screamed like he’d stabbed me with a flaming sword.
Violet jumped, wide-eyed.
Dax recoiled, nearly dropping the needle. “X! You promised you weren’t going to scream this time!”
“I lied!” I howled, clutching at the chair dramatically. “I am but a fragile vessel of pain!”
Violet blinked at me. “You said you couldn’t feel anything.”
I sat back and gave them both a sheepish smile. “I can’t. I just thought it’d be funnier if I screamed.”
Dax groaned and tossed a bloody wipe in the bin. “You’re the worst kind of client.”
“I aim to entertain.”
Violet shook her head, her lips twitching. “You scared the hell out of me.”
“I scared myself. Did you hear that scream? Oscar-worthy.”
Dax leaned in, inspected his work, then stepped back. “Well, congrats, you’re officially pierced and insufferable.”
I touched the ring, admiring the cool metal. “How’s it look?”
“Hot,” Violet said softly. “Dangerous. Slightly unhinged.”
I grinned. “Just my vibe.”
Dax peeled off his gloves and gestured toward the front. “We like to keep an eye on you for ten or fifteen minutes so we can make sure it doesn’t bleed too much, or in case you have any adverse reactions, so go take a seat on the couch, yeah? Try not to traumatize anyone else on your way out.”
“Got it,” I promised, though I could make no such promises about not traumatizing anyone. If this thing started bleeding, I would most definitely pass out.
Victim blood was one thing. My own? Different story.
We wandered back into the main shop area, where the couch near the window was empty. I collapsed onto it with a dramatic sigh, tipping my head back like I’d just survived war. Violet curled up beside me, our thighs brushing.
She watched me for a long second, then said, “You really didn’t feel it?”
I shook my head. “Not a thing. My body’s here, but I’m…not.”
Her fingers brushed the side of my face, tracing the edge of the new ring, then dropped to rest lightly over my heart. “Well, I feel you. You’re in there somewhere.”
“You always say the nicest things to emotionally unstable psychopaths.”
“Only the cute ones.”
I rummaged on the counter behind me and snagged a purple lollipop from the display. I peeled off the wrapper and held it out to her.
She blinked. “A grape lollipop? How romantic.”
“Only the best for you.”
She took it, popped it into her mouth, and gave me a soft smile that made my ribs feel like they were finally starting to expand again.
And just like that, the noise in my head got a bit quieter.
Maybe I was in my body again.
Just a little.