Chapter 11 Whip #2
His had been the first life I’d taken. I’d hunted him down and made him swallow a bullet, zero fucks given because I had nothing left to lose.
And then I’d kept on doing it, lurking in the shadows, taking out men who didn’t deserve the families they had.
Taking out men who were a danger to society.
Abusers who hurt their wives or kids. My actions escalating until I couldn’t stop myself, each kill a blatant fuck you to my own life, the one I didn’t want.
I’d just been waiting to get caught. Waiting to pick the wrong target, the one who would actually fight back. Waiting to go down in a hail of police fire when they finally caught up with me.
Grayson finding me had slowed me down, focused me, gave me some sort of direction, but I had never really stopped wanting to die.
Until now.
Because suddenly I had something to live for again. And they were sitting right next to me.
“Sort of,” I told Violet, finally answering her question about whether I’d been glad to be alive after the accident.
“Not in the same way he is, but nearly dying changes everything, and he’s just trying to work out how to handle it.
Trying out for the CHL team is probably the least destructive way to process what he went through. ”
“He got a nose ring too,” she said with a smile.
Levi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “No shit? It look good?”
I glanced at Violet too because I hadn’t even noticed it when he’d come to my house.
A little pink flushed her cheeks. “It’s pretty hot actually. Suits him.”
Levi squinted at the crowd of players still registering at the end of the rink and then clapped as X, in borrowed gear, waddled his way toward the gate that led onto the ice. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Let’s go, X!”
Violet took her cue from him and stamped her feet, waving her arms at him. “You got this!”
All three of them turned to me. I pretended I was half-heartedly waving a miniature flag. In my best “I’m bored” voice, I said, “Go, X.”
Violet elbowed me, but it was playful.
I think we all knew by now my disdain for X was mostly for show.
I actually cared about the idiot. I wouldn’t have been sitting here on my ass in the cold rink silently supporting his ridiculous quest if I didn’t.
I wouldn’t have called the other two in, and I wouldn’t have been secretly hoping he did well.
I didn’t have any hope in hell of him making the team, of course, but I had a silent respect for the way he never hesitated to give something a go.
Violet grabbed both my and Levi’s hands as X stepped out onto the ice.
All three of us froze, waiting for his skates to slip right on out from under him.
I think we released a combined breath when he skated straight and smooth across the ice, not at all out of place amongst the other skaters. He glided around the ring, as gracefully as was possible in that much gear, my old stick clutched in his fingers.
“Wait.” Violet squeezed my fingers. “Can he actually skate?”
X rounded the corner closest to us and lifted his arm to wave. “Hi, Omelet!”
That was all it took for him to lose his balance. His feet slipped from beneath him, spraying up ice, his arms windmilling wildly. The expression of pure joy at seeing us in the stands turned to sheer terror as he tried to save himself from hitting the ice.
He went down hard on his ass. All three of us cringed.
“Shit, that had to be painful,” Levi muttered, half out of his seat like X might need him to go scoop him back up. But louder he called, “You’re good! Nobody saw that!”
X waved back that he was okay, then tried to get back up on his feet. Which proved difficult with all the pads on. He rolled from his back to his front, then tried to get up onto all fours, but his feet slipped out from him each time.
Violet covered her mouth with her hand.
“Don’t laugh!” I said to her, unable to hide my own laughter.
X slid himself along the ice on his stomach, narrowly missing the blades of other skaters, all of them staring at him and shaking their heads as they zoomed past.
“I’m not!” she protested, but her snort of amusement couldn’t be contained. “He’s like one of those penguins sliding on their bellies.”
X finally got himself back up on his feet, but only because one of the guys was nice enough to stop and help him to the railing.
“Thanks, MacIntosh!” X called, waving off the guy as he skated away, his last name printed across the back of his local league jersey. X glared back up at us. “That’s my new friend. Who I’m going to replace all of you with since he’s the only one not laughing right now.”
We all sobered.
“Sorry,” I called back, making sure the laughter was fully removed from my voice. “You’re doing great. You’ve got this.”
X gave us a thumbs-up, then attempted to strike what I think was supposed to be a confident, athletic pose, one hand on his hip and the hockey stick slung across his shoulders like a sword.
He immediately lost his footing again and crashed into the boards with a thud that echoed around the rink.
Violet winced. “He’s going to need a chiropractor after this.”
“Or a priest,” Levi added. “He might actually die this time. Do you know one who can administer last rites quickly?”
A whistle blew, and one of the coaches leaned over the bench, flipping through paperwork on a clipboard. “Number Thirty-Four! You’re not on my list.”
X stood, finally, and shouted back cheerfully. “I know! I’m a late addition! I emailed the manager’s intern’s second cousin’s roommate!”
The assistant coach squinted at him. “This isn’t an open tryout. You can’t just be here if you weren’t invited.”
X skated up to him, managing not to fall this time. “But the ice is my soul. The puck my chaotic joy. I skate toward greatness.”
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered. “Was that a haiku? I think it’s time to go before they call security.”
Levi was already on his feet, clearly in agreement. We hurried down the steps to stop behind the bench where the coaches sat.
I tapped the guy on the shoulder. “We’re sorry about him. He’s been hit in the head with a puck a few too many times. We’ll just go.”
But X gave the guy his most charming smile. “I really want to be on the team. I could be an assistant coach.”
The assistant coach raised an eyebrow. “We already have one of those.”
“The waterboy then!”
The coach cleared his throat. He was an older guy, with thinning white hair and a pot belly stuffed beneath a thick warm jacket with Saint View Vipers Hockey printed on the back, a deadly black snake wrapped around a hockey stick as the logo.
“Son, this is the CHL. We aren’t the pros; we don’t have a waterboy. ”
X’s face fell. “Oh. Okay. I understand. Thanks anyway.”
He looked so defeated it stirred up something inside me. He tried so fucking hard, all the damn time. Seeing him get knocked back was like watching someone kick a puppy. An overgrown, yappy, completely insane puppy, but a puppy nonetheless.
“What about a mascot?” I asked the coach. “Do you have one of those?”
The coach sighed. “Again, this is coastal league. There’s no budget for any of that.”
“He’ll do it for free,” Levi butted in.
The coach raised an eyebrow and turned back to X. “Son—”
X grabbed his hand. “I’ll supply my own costume.” He glanced over at me. “You can sew, right? I’m thinking a black snake. With giant fangs. And sequins!”
I rolled my eyes, but X didn’t notice. He’d already turned his attention back to the coach. “I’ll be the best damn mascot this team has ever seen.”
“You’d be the only mascot this team has ever seen,” the coach countered dryly.
“What do you have to lose?” I asked. “You aren’t paying him. He’ll supply everything. And I think you’ve already seen, he can be quite entertaining.”
“What’s funnier than a hockey mascot who can’t skate?” Levi backed up my argument.
The coach blinked fast, glancing between me, Levi, and X, and then shook his head and threw his hands up, clearly bamboozled. “Okay, okay. If I say yes, will you get off my ice so I can actually start the tryouts?”
I clapped the coach on the back. “You got it. Just pretend we were never here.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” He wiped sweat off his brow.
X was already shakily skating away. “MacIntosh! Guess what! I made the team! But I’m all out of best friend spots.” He glanced over at me and Levi. “I’ve already got a couple of those.”